Advice for Love/Or…How In The Heck Did I Get Myself Into This Mess

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

April 1st

Dear Journal,

I actually left Feralas yesterday afternoon even though my heart wasn’t in it. I knew that I had to get back to my responsibilities and to take care of some other business at hand. I’m not sitting in my office this morning, surprisingly enough, I’m sitting in the park and enjoying the solitude that it offers me and the freedom to smoke my brains out if I want.

I don’t think that I have felt as relaxed and as rested in years as I do this morning. Yes, I did go to Shattrath last night to spend some time with my friends and Poetica. It was the usual conglomeration of people and I will admit that it was rather enjoyable. It was better than sitting in my office staring at the stack of paper and contracts that seem to grow by leaps and bounds. At least Faendra has been busy putting things in order and getting some of the things taken care of, such as paying the employees and paying the bills while I have been off “cavorting” as she so delicately put it this morning.

I’m sitting here this morning and just wondering what in the Light I am doing. To say that my mind is in a state of confusion on my personal life is to put it mildly. Here I sit, two women in my life that I definitely have more than a light romantic involvement with the both of them and I can’t get my head out of my arse long enough to know what it is that will be good for either one of them or, more importantly, what is going to be best for me. Is what I am doing currently, fair to any of us? I honestly don’t know and wish that I had someone that I could talk to about this delicate matter. My biggest problem is that I love them both and yet, there is a division that I am unable to fathom at this point. If I keep this up, I’m going to lose both of them and probably my own life in the process. Either one of them could just kill me outright and be very wealthy.

Of course, I could ask my business partner Fnar about the situation again and watch him roll his eyes and hear his laughter. His advice has been to keep sleeping with them both until one or the other of them gets boring and then make a choice. Well, neither one of them is going to get boring, they each have their own way about them that keeps me enthralled in the bedroom and out. Maybe I should put an ad in the paper about looking for advice to the love-lorn or some such nonsense, it makes about as much sense to me right now as it does for me to sit here on this park bench and stare at this stupid rabbit that keeps hopping up and nibbling at my boot.

When I am with one of them, I feel like it’s the right thing to do, when I am with the other one, I feel the same way. What a fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into Morningstar!!

I spent all of those days in Feralas with Amyn and I can honestly say that I haven’t been happier in years. No sex but still happy as a man can be. Knowing that the two oldest boys are truly mine made a huge difference in how I am thinking about things. However, I know that children grow up, they leave home and you’re there alone with the woman that gave birth to them again, just like in the beginning. I’ve known Amyn longer and we have definitely love-hated our way through the years that feels very comfortable and very “right” in a lot of ways. I know that she has gotten very fed up with this lifestyle of mine and I am just waiting for her to issue an ultimatum, I can feel it coming like an ache in your bones from an old injury.

I’ve only been with Poetica for a very short time, when you actually look at the time line involved. She and I have had a very tumultuous relationship, however, that has been caused by outside influences and not between us. In comparison, our relationship is very calm even a bit bland if it weren’t for those outside influences. I thought my family could be rather out of control, however, they don’t hold a light to poor Poe’s sisters.

Last week Poetica and I attended Story Circle for the first time together. We had an enjoyable time and I think she enjoyed hearing the tales as they were given. I know that she has never gone with me before and I was pleasantly surprised that she went with me, we were away from the Tavern, the children and the other Mistreavers for a while. It was indeed a very pleasant time. Naturally, we didn’t get a chance to talk all that much when we were there because that would have been rude to the storytellers. At least now she knows where I go when I take off for Thunderbluff on Sunday evening for a few hours, I’m not out there shagging some unsuspecting female somewhere like Dawnglory would be doing if he weren’t smitten for the time being with that little priestess of his.

We thought about spending some time in Orgrimmar and having dinner, however, after looking at the mass population explosion that seems to have occurred in the recent weeks, we opted to take off for parts unknown. We actually ended up going to one of my little hideaways in Winterspring to relax in the steam pools and drank some excellent wine. Of course, when things were getting heated up for something more in the way of intimacy, we were interrupted by some snooping druid that kept hovering over us like a buzzard over a kill. I assume that it had been sometime since this fellow had seen some naked Sindorei swimming in those steam pools or something. Since the mood was spoiled in that locale, we decided to move along and find another spot that might be a bit more private, so, off we went to the lake we had visited a while ago in Mulgore- where we were met by another druid that took offense to us stopping by unannounced, I assume. He went all bear form on us and barked, first time I’ve ever seen a bear bark, however, I assume he knew what he was doing. We must have had druid magnets on us somewhere because I don’t think that I have seen that many rogue druids running amuck in a few weeks. We finally gave up on the whole idea and went back to Orgrimmar to take the zeppelin back to Northrend.

I still can’t make up my mind. I think Pan and I will take off and do some wandering about up here in Northrend and maybe something will fly out of the sky, hit me in the head and my sanity will return.

Fnor Morningstar

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