My Sindorei seems to be getting better and I can’t believe the change in him since we all moved into the main house. It’s like he knows he is “home” again and that we’re going to be here with him and he will never truly be left alone again. He laughs more these days and acts like he is finally relaxing again – he needs to laugh more. Life is serious enough without taking on everyone else’s burdens. I hope he has learned his lessons at long last.
We did go to the Faire and had an enjoyable time. The two youngest are still going to be the death of me yet with their pranks and their constant deviltry that they seem to think of together. They aren’t twins, however, I have never seen two children so much alike in their thoughts and deeds.
They seemed to enjoy the Faire quite a bit because we were all there. They did get into some of their usual mischief and I will admit that I was astounded at the way they seem to know what the other was thinking without saying a single word between them. The double canon ride together was the last time that they will be doing that trick. Next time I will make sure they do not climb those stairs together.
Naturally, the next time we go, I will definitely keep a sharper eye out on the two oldest boys too, they had their own brand of mischief that has left my poor Sindorei a bit mortified and embarrassed. I think that I made matters worse when I burst out laughing and continued to laugh even though my tears were streaming down my face and I had my stomach hurting. The way he was trying to explain the encounter to me as if I were some woman that sat in a drawing room all day long and hadn’t experienced life was probably the most hysterical thing that he’s ever done. The look on his face was absolutely priceless.
I did gently remind him that they were definitely his sons in more ways than just some of their appearances and gestures. He doesn’t seem to realize that he was only a few years older than Kaldor when we met and fell in love those many years ago.
Yes, I knew that Kaldor was out sewing his oats long before we left Shattrath and one would have thought that Fnor would have realized that long before now. He’s a young man and he is going to notice the women and if the opportunity arises and they are willing partners, he will join with them, just like any man would. I just wish that he was more discrete with his partners though and I hope that he will listen when Fnor talks to him about “sleeping around” because we both know the consequences of those actions. I’ve tried talking to him about it and all I get his head nodding and watching him blush almost as deeply as Fnor does on occasion.
It is going to take my Sindorei a while to get used t having the boys in the house. He’s never been around them for long periods of time. He wasn’t a good Father when they were little ones, he was out doing his own thing and starting his business so that we all could have a better life. Let’s be honest, he didn’t even know they were his children for quite a few years because I had told a couple of little white lies and told him that they belonged to other men that I had been with. What the silly fool didn’t realize is that I hadn’t been with any other men. My heart belonged solely to him and my body was following suit. Yes, when he married that one Sindorei huntress, I mated with a Kaldorei hunter.
I deeply loved my Kaldorei mate and always will. I think my feelings were almost as strong for him as they were for my Sindorei. No woman ever forgets their first love and Fnor was my first in all ways, the first man I ever slept with, the first man that I ever had children with. However, you can only wait for so long for a man to come back and realize that he has something that he has always been searching for.
Maybe it was the differences in our races, maybe he felt that he needed to have a Sindorei wife to be more accepted by his people, I don’t know. I do know that it was very hurtful to me sometimes that he would get involved with these other women. However, each time he showed up at my door, I would always let him back and the ache in my heart would lessen.
When my Kaldorei mate died, I had almost reconciled myself to the fact that I would be alone raising these four boys until Fnor came back through the door again. It was as if he had never left and I could feel the love in my heart burning with the sheer joy of having him with me again. Yes, he was involved with someone else, yes, he came to me for comfort – I was lonely and he was lonely and we did the only thing that we could to comfort one another. I am happy that we made that transgression happen because it has lead us back together and I know that he isn’t going to leave me again.
Our racial differences are more readily accepted in Dalaran than they were even in Shattrath. He seems to be proud to walk down the street with me on his arm and often introduces me to some of his acquaintances in such a way that they look at me as if I had suddenly grown horns and had enchanted their friend with some kind of spell. I guess that I have, I’ve loved him these long years past and have felt that love grow even more so after the wedding we attended together.
He still needs to take it easy. I can see that animal in him starting to tear at the confines of his civilized prison due to his health. He has even started talking about heading out in the field again and working like he used too. At least, this time, he won’t be traveling alone. The youngest of the four boys is old enough now to where I can feel comfortable in leaving him in the care of his older brothers or maybe even taking him back to visit with my parents in Darnassus. I think that they need some schooling there anyway. I wouldn’t ever leave them for months at a time though, I’d always go back and get them and bring them back to Dalaran every few days. They all need to build the rapport with their step-Father and the oldest need to build their relationship with their Father.
Poor Fnor is trying so hard and I am sitting here being somewhat amused at his expense. His dream of a family had been with much younger children being gradually introduced into the family situation, he ended up with all four of the boys at one time. I think that he realizes how much he has missed with his own sons and is wanting desperately to make up for lost time with them, he is also trying to make up for that same lost time with my two youngest sons. I think he realizes how much of his life with his family he has wasted and is somewhat ashamed. I will have to caution him in the fact that he will have to allow the children to accept him on their terms, not his.
Kaldor has yet to call him Father, he calls him by his given name of Fnor. However, I can see that Kaldor is slowly getting used to the fact that this man is his biological parent and wants to try to allow him to get close to him. I haven’t really talked with him that much about it but Kaldor is very like his Father in the fact that he is guarding his heart and doesn’t want to get hurt or rejected if Fnor decides to take off and chase after those dreams of his again. I’ve tried to assure him that it won’t happen again but the child has his doubts. Yes, he’s almost a full-grown man, yet, he will always be a child to me in a lot of ways.
I think that if we had one of those Sindorei weddings like Fnor and I attended and had the children there, that just might make them realize that their parents aren’t going to go their separate ways ever again. Fnor is my mate, my love and my life and I want our children to feel that we both love them with our entire hearts. I must make the time to speak to Lali soon.
Oh, I still have my own life even though I have my man here with me in Dalaran. I still have the opportunity to come and go as I wish when I know that the children will be taken care of properly. I wish my parents would take the invitation that was offered to them and move into the guest house and just be near us. They are both getting on in years and I feel that it is my responsibility to take care of them in their golden years with all of the love that they have given me my whole life. Fnor is in agreement with this, however, they have their friends in Darnassus and I am not sure that they would like to uproot everything to live in this beautiful floating city with their wayward daughter and their Sindorei son-in-law. I think that my Father would get along with Lalli’s crazy Grandfather as long as they don’t get in their cups at the same time.
Well, I need to go visit the herbalist today and pick up some more herbs. I’m sure that Fnor and I don’t need any little “surprises” added to our brood at this point.