Amyn’s Thoughts

With all of the years that have passed, one would think that my Sindorei would have grown a thicker skin or at least a more flexible heart. He is going through a very trying time with is new love interest and has let again retreated back to me for solace. Part of me wants to tell him to go away and not come back and my heart wants him to stay with me forever. What a fine mess I have gotten myself into.

My parents are very understanding of the fact that two of my sons are not of the same race and they have forgiven me for those indiscretions although I do have to be very careful when I go back to visit in Darnasus with them. My two youngest boys are the joy of my life, they look like my husband – I miss that man so much that there are times when I wish that I could join him. I know that my arms ache to hold him and to feel his gentle touch, alas, this will never be again.

I can remember a time when my Sindorei came back to me covered in bandages and scars. He was barely recognizable from the man that had rescued me from my plight in the Barrens. His body bore the markings of having been tortured and beaten near to death.

His story was one that I have often heard since then, however, I was appalled that something like this could happen to one such as he. He was dashing, charming, a great solider that took his orders very seriously but the orders he had been given from his Ranger Commander sounded more like a suicide mission than one in which he would be able to complete and survive. His mission had been to go out and investigate a band of Sentinels – I wonder if it was my old commander and her troops? It sounds as though my poor fellow wandered into a well known Kaldorei trap, one that I even learned how to use when I was still with the Sentinels. I would hope that they would not have been so savage with a captive, however, war is war and atrocities have happened on both sides with both factions. He at least was able to gather the information that was required of him and crawled back to his unit, barely alive.

He had been strapped to a wagon wheel and whipped until his back was shredded to the bones and they had poured salt into the wounds to continue the pain. From what he tells me, he lost consciousness and then one by one, they raped him. Knowing this man as I do, I’m sure that they were all satiated with their sexual appetites although he still groans in his sleep if I touch him in certain spots, the skin was still raw over certain parts of his anatomy. The healers told him that they would have to charge him extra to heal those injuries – that sounded like nonsense to me but then, I’m not a man in a military unit. Each of his ears had been notched, his nostrils slit. Both of his arms and legs had been broken, however, it looks like the healers decided that they could heal them enough to where he could at least be mobile, not without some pain, I’m sure. What had been such a proud and beautiful man came back to me looking like something one would see in a nightmare. I can’t tell if his pain is all physical because I know the pride he had always taken in his appearance is now lowered to the dust. My beautiful Sindorei is now something that is ashamed to go out without a mask covering his features.

I remember the tenderness and care that he gave me when I was injured. This is a kind man, a caring man and a loving man, a respecter of life, regardless of what faction we may be in. How he could ever become one of those insipid Rangers is beyond my comprehension but he told me it was his calling. HIs parents had wanted him to take a higher calling in life…that wouldn’t have been him. I can’t imagine him sitting with a book in his hand and waving his hands around calling on magic to do any kind of work for him. He’s much to physical and much too demanding to have had the discipline to handle magic.

When he found me in the Barrens, we were both quite young and time hasn’t been kind to either one of us. We have both had to learn how to hide our feelings and how to cover our tracks so that neither his people nor mine are able to find us when we are together out in the field. It would be death for the both of us and we know this, even now.

When we first started communicating, it had to have been a comedy of errors, his Common and my Orcish had to have been a huge laughing matter if we had been overheard by anyone. My healing took some time, he was still on duty with is unit but he had hidden me close to his camp with the understanding that he would return with food and water each day. He kept his promise and as soon as I got strong enough – I did try to kill him. I think that was the first wound that he had ever gotten and wouldn’t have gotten that if he hadn’t have put his trust in me. I was and am a Kaldorei to the core of my soul – I had been taught that these little Blood Elves were our enemy as much as any of the races of the Horde. My duty was to kill as many as I could and get back to my unit as quickly as possible. I don’t think that I will ever forget the look of shock and horror on his face as I buried my knife in his belly and tried my best to gut him. Let’s just say that he was away from his camp for a few days while I tried to patch him up – he was supposed to be on patrol, instead, he was in my little hiding spot with me.

I look back on the things that this man and I have been through and wonder that we have the feelings that we do. Each of us has tried to kill the other on more than one occasion, in the line of duty. I just thank Elune that neither one of us was successful when we discovered that the opponent was someone we knew. He with his Rangers and me with my Sentinels.

When he left the Rangers, I left the Sentinels and we both traveled to Shattrath. We had both known that we should have stayed away from one another but there was something there that crossed the boundaries of race. We became closer friends and, yes, we finally became lovers. We both knew that this wrong in the eyes of his people and mine, however, as long as we had one another we thought that we could survive anything.

When I found myself with child for the first time, I was horrified and extremely happy, my Sindorei was away from Shattrath trying to establish a business that would support us both. He was and is still a great hunter and tracker. He was gone for the most part of my pregnancy, his goal was to make sure that we would be able to survive no matter which way the war fell. When he returned, my pregnancy was very obvious and I told him I had taken a lover and that the child was his. The look on my Sindorei’s face told me that he was very angry and very hurt with me for taking another into my bed. He left with a vow never to return.

He had also been given the responsibility of rearing his youngest sister and making sure that her needs were met as well as his own personal goal of locating his second sibling. His parents had been killed searching for this wayward child, a sister that became a Death Knight.

When my son was born, I gave him the name of Kaldor, after my Father. He was tiny in comparison to some of the other children that had been born at the same time, his mixed blood was the issue there, and if the midwife had known or recognized it, my son would have been killed. He was beautiful in my eyes, his ears were a little shorter than mine but his body was definitely all Kaldorei, long straight legs, well proportioned torso. He was my son although the color and the shape of his eyes gave a hint that he was more than just that.

My hunter Sindorei returned a few years later, beaten and banged up again. This time it was from a hunting accident of sorts that had befallen him while he was trying to train an apprentice that he had met when he was in the Rangers. Apparently, they both like to drink a bit too much and the apprentice shot him. I have a feeling that they are going to be great friends if one doesn’t kill the other.

All was forgiven from my past indiscretion and we resumed our affair. My second son was conceived at this time. We both love to hunt and we had grown quite a bond when we were out in the field together, we knew what the other was thinking without speaking much in the way of words. It’s a habit that is still there even these many years later. His Common and my Orcish have definitely improved over the years, so, we can talk as well to one another as any other couple.

He made a promise to me and to himself that he would make enough money to support us all and he has kept that promise. He also made enough money to move his business to where it was more convenient for him in Dalaran. His vanity has been appeased by thousands of gold being put into a healers hands to remove the scars from his body and to rebuild his face. He looks like my young handsome Ranger again.

So, there you have it. Both of my oldest sons were born in Shattrath from an illicit affair with a member of the Horde. He is still my love and my life even though there was a time when this was not so for many years.

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