You’re just a fucking book but I have to put my thoughts down somewhere, right?
Here I sit in camp with Fnor, in Feralas for the moment, and it’s raining. Of course, it’s raining, what else would it do? I am really starting to take this personally, first I’m freezing my ass in Northrend, then cooking it in Uldum, now, I’m getting moldy from the dampness in Feralas. Why all the moving around you might ask?
Well, seems the Boss has gotten himself into some major trouble that has gone from his guild affiliation directly to the company. Oh, hello, surprise!! I could have told him this was going to happen but there were other things going on too. Besides, would he have listened to me? At this point, I don’t know, I’m just part of the hired help, business partner and his best friend.
I should have known that it was bad news when my comlink went off right when I was about to consummate a transaction with a certain young lady. The deal being, her legs, my body and that wonderful feeling we were both going to share. I should have just ignored it and went on with what I was doing. I know I would have felt a whole lot better – she sure had inviting eyes.
When I heard the words “Dawnglory!! Report in!!” I should have just acted like I didn’t hear it but he doesn’t usually just command my attention like that for no small reason. It’s not like the employees were going to mutiny and storm the offices in Dalaran, right?
Well, we’ve received some body parts in the mail before. No big deal, we’ve even mailed a few out ourselves as subtle reminders to some of the clients for non-payment. It’s not that hard to find body parts when you can swing by Undercity to see if there are any new cadavers just laying around, unattended – no muss, no fuss, just a quick snatch and grab of what you need.
However, we got a head in the mail that set the bells off in Fnor’s head. A Kaldorei female head, which could have been a reminder to him that he’s parking his male member in a room that shouldn’t have left the door open. Okay, okay, let me rephrase that – he has a Kaldorei mistress, he’s always had this woman in his life for as long as I’ve known him, she’s pushed out a couple of rug-rats that he thinks are his. I like her a lot though, one of those kind of exotic women with big…eyes.
Anyway, there was some threat or other against his guild with some cultist group. Not a problem, there are a lot of people in that guild and I’m sure they could handle it. However, because Fnor has himself in a personal bind, he’s engaged to a Death Knight, we hire quite a few Death Knights and Forsaken and these cultist are trying to purify the Horde, as if that could ever happen, and that makes the company a target too.
Okay, what he does in his personal life is his business and who I sleep with is my business. If he ever tells me that I’m male whore again, I think I will remind him that I’m still out there kicking around. I’ve never felt the need to buy the cow when I’ve already tasted the milk. I know that sounds rather crass and a bit harsh but it’s the truth. Why buy the cow?
He has two women in his life that will meet up one of these days and I bet by everything that is holy in this world, they are going to kill him. I don’t care that he has a Kaldorei mistress and I sure don’t care that he has a Death Knight as a fiancée, however, it’s stupid on his part to try to make it one big happy family. Ain’t gonna happen, Commander.
What has me pissed off at the moment is that this whole mess has spilled over into the company and how we run our business and has kind of interrupted my personal life. He’s my best friend and my business partner , however, there really needs to be a line drawn in the sand here. I have met both of these women and each is special in their own way.
Oh well, if I keep thinking about it the more pissed I’m going to get.
One of the things I’m upset about is the fact that I was just getting comfortable with a little priestess in Thunderbluff. She’s kind of quirky in a good way, blunt and very nice on the eyes. She says she doesn’t care that I’ve slept all over Azeroth with anything that would lay still long enough. She wants to get to know me “better”…Me, Fnar Dawnglory!! She doesn’t think that I’m that bad and she seems to see through the bullshit that I’ve helped to put out there.
She’s an orphan and she knows that sometimes we will do things to keep from getting hurt. She might be right. I know that when I feel like I’m allowing someone to get my emotions tied in a knot, I run like some frightened gazelle.
I wish I was in Thunderbluff right now, it’s probably not raining there. At least I could get a decent night’s sleep and not have to worry about someone trying to sneak up on me to kill me, just because I work for Morningstar Enterprises.
We’re out here, hand delivering contracts to our employees so they don’t have to go into Dalaran, also making the collections as well. Fnor thinks that by having the employees avoid the main office, they won’t be targeted. We lost a couple of our rookies about a week ago, now, we both think that it has something to do with this latest crap. Neither one of them were Forsaken or Death Knights, they just had their Morningstar badges on, like usual.
Oh shit!! Now his sons are here to help out, which means that his Kaldorei woman won’t be too far behind. If the Death Knight shows up, I’m leaving because it’s gonna get nasty real quick. I just want to do my job like I used too. I’m not sharing this fucking tent either, it’s mine, all mine.