Old Memories and Thoughts of the Future

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

June 25th

Dear Journal,

I will admit that I am just enjoying the cool air of Dalaran this evening. I had to take the trip to Orgrimmar this morning and I am more than a bit happy to have finally escaped the dirt, heat and grime of that particular city. Summertime may be a joyous time for some; however, I don’t enjoy feeling the sweat trickling down my ribcage and down my back under my armor. Definitely not one of the most favorite times of year for this particular Sindorei male.

At least things are finally settling down here at home. What with the wedding plans almost completely done and things are under control. I know that it has been very hectic for Amyn and very nerve wracking for the rest of us. Poor thing is doing it to make me happy because she thinks that it is something I need to make our relationship “stable” or to be acknowledged. What the poor thing doesn’t seem to realize is that I don’t need a ceremony to tell me how I feel. It took me quite a few years to realize what I have and how to appreciate it too. Marriage doesn’t have to be a piece of paper between two people, it’s the joining of not only their bodies, and it’s a joining of their spirits that makes it happen, in my opinion.

I am sitting here in the office still trying to cool off a bit. I’ve taken a bath to wash the grim off and have already cleaned my armor, so, I’m sitting here in the robe that Amyn bought for me a while back and I will admit that it is quite comfortable. It’s light, airy and doesn’t seem to want to cling to my skin. Orgrimmar was absolutely horrible today for some reason or I’ve gotten spoiled staying up here in the city more often than not. I have been trying to make it home each night to be with the family. I think I have only missed a couple of nights and that was due to business. I just wish that Amyn could travel with me to some of the more exotic places; however, things would not be too pleasant for her.

I am sitting here thinking about some of the things that I have gone through in the last year and I am amazed that I am still here and in control of my mental facilities. What a year it has been and not another one that I would like to repeat anytime in the near future.

Of course, I’ve lost quite a few friends, or should I say acquaintances, this year. Friends don’t turn their backs on each other and pretend that they don’t exist; however, this is a new era and a new breed of people that feel that they are entitled to do whatever they wish. I thought that I might have heard from some of the people that I was affiliated with in the old guild, however, they are rather a closed group. I know that I am happy to have escaped from the constant drama and control that was being exhibited there.

I have been thinking about Poetica and her sisters and wonder if she has been able to get that situation under control. I know that she was very angry with me when she left and I was not in any physical condition to discuss it with her any further. However, my feelings for her are still tender, as I would have for one of my sisters. Well, maybe not even that strong. I do miss the times that we almost had together; however, I’ve never been one to have a relationship with someone that was guided by moods, whims and the desires of others. Oh well, it’s just as well that that chapter closed. It didn’t close pleasantly with our last meeting in Undercity and one that I will never forget for as long as I live.

To be exact, I don’t think I have been personally attacked verbally in quite the manner that I was there in my life. Oh well, it’s past, I should let it go, however, I won’t ever forget and I definitely won’t forget the situation or the people involved. It almost felt like a setup and I’m not so sure that it wasn’t and it was done for someone’s ego. Well, that’s that, she’s gone and the rest of the lot. I did think that I had friends amongst the group, however, I can write it down now that they weren’t my friends, I was a resource that they could use and once the situation no longer warranted it, they disappeared like dust in the wind. I will have to remember to thank them for teaching me a life lesson there. Don’t think people are your friends when they really aren’t. One thing about karma, it does come back three fold when someone does another a disservice.

I will admit that I miss the camaraderie of the group; however, I wasn’t smart enough to know that it was a bit misplaced. When my loyalty was questioned, my ability attacked as if I were some Neanderthal roaming amongst the more sophisticated and educated of them, it was almost comical. You are what you are and the truth will out. To be made to feel that I was less than a man was the final blow that truly broke my patience.

I will admit that if someone has come to me in “need” I will and have always been foolish enough to give it to them and not expect anything in return. However, this last debacle was more than a bit hurtful to me personally and the attacks on my family were unexpected.

Funny thing is that since I’ve left that particular group. I have had a few threatening letters in the mail and a few rather odd things happen, however, no more Kaldorei heads in boxes have been delivered to the offices in Orgrimmar, Shattrath, Stormwind or even in Darnassus where the latest threat was supposedly coming from. I’m going to chalk it up to things that just happened and think no further on it.

I know that my family and my involvement with all the different races has always been a subject that some people will never fully grasp. Yes, I have a sister that is a Death Knight, my mate and soon-to-be wife is Kaldorei and that’s just how the Light has seen fit to have me live in Azeroth. I have two beautiful sons that are of Sindorei-Kaldorei blood and I wouldn’t trade them for all of the gold in this world and the next.

I am really looking forward to the wedding. The final culmination of a something should be recognized without the legality of it being questioned. Luckily I did speak to Dawnglory’s sister the other day because I’ve not heard from my paladin friend that lived here for so long in quite some time. I am assuming that he’s already married to the young lady that he divorced his wife to be with. Well, that’s not true; there were other extenuating circumstances, spouse and child abandonment and a bunch of other choice things. However, I would have thought that he might keep in touch. It’s getting too late to even try to contact him via a letter, although, he supposedly lives here in Dalaran with his family, I’ve not seen him since he moved out rather quickly.

I have been checking on some of the properties in Silvermoon of late only to discover that my business partner has been visiting quite often. Poor fellow has always been smitten with Faendra; however, I think that there may be someone else there too. I know that Dawnglory’s sister, Felessa, and mine have been friends for quite a while, which is probably a good thing for the both of them. I know that Fae has missed some of her friends in Silvermoon when she moved to Dalaran; however, I know that she has gotten away from some of the ideals that she learned there. At least she is more accepting of the fact that her eldest sister is a Death Knight, however, in that creature still resides a large part of her sister which has definitely come to the forefront.

I know that when I asked Felessa, on a whim, if she would be willing to do the services for the wedding she acted rather surprised. I know that she even got tears in her eyes and I don’t know if they were tears of joy or what, however, she agreed to be the “back-up” clergy just in case I can’t get in touch with the Paladin.

Lessa is a rather odd little thing because she is the exact opposite of her big brother, Fnar Dawnglory. Where Fnar is brash and a devil-may-care kind of fellow about things most of the time, she is very reserved with her feelings and is extremely cautious as to how she does things. It has been rather easy for her to hide in the shadows of her brother since they were little ones and I guess that Fnar has always taken charge of things even when they were in the orphanage in Shattrath. I know that I have invited her to come to Dalaran to finish her training; however, she seems rather reluctant to leave the area that she knows the best. I suppose I ought to talk with Dawnglory and see if he can’t persuade her to make the change, although it might cramp his cavalier style a bit, it will definitely cut back on his expenses of maintaining her there in Silvermoon.

I did meet another young lady when I was visiting with the girls in Silvermoon that has really kind of shaken my mind a little bit. She looked very much like my second fiancée that committed suicide in Dalaran all those years ago. It actually kind of shook me to the core a bit because the resemblance is very uncanny. The same green almond shaped eyes, the same alluring way of moving her hands ever so slightly when she is speaking. The coal black hair that just seems to have inner glow all of its own. Her voice is the thing that chilled me to the marrow of my bones, she even sounded like her. It also brought back a flood of memories that I had buried rather deeply.

I know that in my heart of hearts that I truly had loved that young girl with every fiber of my being, as foolish as that sounds now. There was just something about her that made me want to protect her from the world. She had a sheltered innocence and had suffered a great deal of abuse from that drunkard of a Father of hers and then, some mage in Silvermoon had decided to pay her court. I know that the first time that I saw her standing on the corner in Dalaran, it was like someone had just turned on a light in my head for the first time – this woman needed me to help her. It was a long turbulent journey and filled with so many heartaches that I thought I had buried it completely, however, after meeting this other woman with the girls, it all came flooding back. Not only did she commit suicide in the house where I live now with my family, she also took my child with her to the grave, which is what hurt me the most – I was still very young and naive back in those days and didn’t appreciate what I had with Amyn. The girls kept calling her Angel, although I think that her given name is Angelese or something like that. I can’t seem to recall her surname for some odd reason.

There is just something there with this young woman that bears watching. Call it intuition or just something that keeps nagging at my mind because of her resemblance of someone that I cared about very deeply. I know I keep thinking about her tonight and my mind keeps telling me that there is a danger there or it could be that there is a just a hint of mystery that has raised my interest. It’s rare that I meet someone that I get all kinds of mixed signals from and usually that isn’t a good sign. I’ll have Dawnglory do some checking around about her as well as have Zippie take a look at the records that she seems to be so good at since she’s returned to our employment. I can’t seem to shake the memory of her eyes, the way she seemed to be staring at me so intensely, like she could reach into the very depths of my mind and know all of the things that I have buried there.

Amyn has finally retired for the night and I can see her form lying there in the bed from here in the office and I will admit that it fills my heart with such happiness that it’s almost unbearable. Here we are, living together, openly in a time when this sort of thing is still frowned upon, however, not as much as it once was. In just a few more days, we’ll be married in front of our friends and that should put the stamp of approval on our relationship. I think that the Light and Elune have already blessed the union because we have our children to show the world already.

At least my Kaldorei seems to be able to sleep tonight instead of being up and pacing the floor in the sitting room. She has really worn herself out with the way that she has tried to put this wedding together and still run her part of the business in Stormwind. I feel that she has done everything very well and from what information that I can garner from her, she feels like things are finally coming to a close. The big day isn’t that far away now and I will admit that I am getting excited and a bit nervous myself.

I know that we both miss having Kaldor and Vashlan here in Dalaran most of the time because they are both turning out to be sons that I can be extremely proud of. They seemed to have inherited my work ethic and not just my eye color. Kaldor seems to be taking to the work like he was born for it or something and is very diligent in getting his contracts completed ahead of time; he’s really his Mother’s top producer for that branch of the office. Oh yes, Vashlan is finally starting to show signs of maturing a bit more with his magic practices as well as taking an active role in helping with some of the paperwork in the office there. Of course, I wonder how much of it is maturity and how much of it is his interest in Remy, the Draeni that my wife has befriended and hired to work for her.

Amyn was a little bit upset when she came back from Stormwind with her wedding gown. I assume the gown fits okay and that she is happy with that, however, she was upset that some of her employees have taken a hiatus of sorts without letting her know. I told her that she shouldn’t worry about that one iota, people will tend to walk away from jobs that they don’t care about and will resurface eventually, and however, it’s doubtful that we will be hiring them back. I’ve also told her that she shouldn’t waste her time in looking for them since they didn’t have the courtesy of telling her they were leaving, just chalk it up to people being rude. I will admit that I have had a few people walk away from Morningstar Enterprises on more than one occasion and I haven’t lost any sleep over it because I know that there are plenty of people out there that would like to work for the firm.

Ahhh, seems that my beloved is feigning sleep because she just gave me that “come hither” look and a wave of her hand from the bed. I will admit that I am tired and that I have finally cooled off enough to where I think I can sleep…which is not what I think she has in mind with that smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Why or how can this woman I’ve known all of these years still arouse me with a look and a gesture? I’m not going to question the Light or Elune in regard to this feeling that is being aroused in me as we exchange glances; I’m going to go take advantage of it.

At least Pan and Lumina seem to enjoy one another’s company tonight because they are curled up together like a married couple in front of the fireplace.

Fnor Morningstar

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