I awakened early this morning, long before the sun had risen above the mountains and had kissed the levels of Thunderbluff with its glow. I started preparing my tea and gave my thanks to the Earth Mother for allowing me another day to gaze out over the ranges of Mulgore. I always give thanks when I wake up, at my age; you give thanks to see another sunrise and the sunset that follows. I pray also that I will have many more to come to share with my family.
I must have made more noise in the kitchen than I normally do or maybe it was grunt of pain when I knelt down to offer my prayer. These old bones seem to ache a bit more each year and I sometimes can’t help myself from giving a slight moan with the pain. No, the Grimtotem did not kill my spirit; however, the hardships I was forced to endure have taken a toll on my poor body not to mention the years themselves. Naton mumbled something as he rose up on his elbow as he lay in his blankets and asked me if I was okay and lay back down after I had assured him that I was only making tea and I was doing just fine for an old lady.
Last night was a strange night in sleeping for me because I had dreams of a time that is no longer of the here and now. Maybe it was a way for the Earth Mother to remind me to be more thankful for the blessings that she has bestowed upon me that allow me to be with the family here in Thunderbluff.
The dreams were happy and yet bittersweet at the same time. I dreamed of the time when my children were all small, my mate was still with me.
We were all sitting in our tent and it was a happy time. Naton was running around waving his new bow that his Father had made for him and was eager for the hunt that afternoon that they had planned together, Nahai was busy sorting out some herbs that I had gathered and was really trying to show his sister Mahamura how much he had learned when he had gone out herbing with me yesterday. Tahfal was still crawling around and trying to eat anything he could get near his mouth – he was always doing that more so than any of my other children. He would also constantly get tangled up in his hooves and fall down when he started to move too fast and would burst into tears – my mate would gently pick up his youngest son and tell him that he didn’t need to cry because he was going to grow up one day to be a big bull and would never have to cry again. He would gently give Tahfal a kiss on the cheek before he put him back down on the ground and see him try to do that awful stutter, run/walk that little ones always seem to want to try. If only my love had known then what was to come to pass.
I know that I could see myself, in the dream, moving around the tent and trying to put things to rights as well as trying to find some of the yarn that we had picked up in Orgrimmar on the last visit so that I could start making some winter scarves for the family. They were all going to be the same color and I was going to put each person’s name on theirs so they wouldn’t squabble about whose was whose. It was a happy time.
My mate and I both thanked the Earth Mother each day for our numerous and very healthy children that we had been blessed with. We may not be rich in the monetary things but we showered our children with as much love as two parents could give and our children were growing very quickly – they showed us how much they loved us each day by being themselves, each and every one of them. We seemed so happy in that dream and I wish that it could have been that way forever.
My mate and I sat by the fire in the central tier and listened to some of the other parents talk about their children and we laughed as we heard some of the same complaints coming from the other parents that we had with ours. The tales always seemed to fall around the eldest of the groups and the youngest and a few about those in-between. My mate and I were of the opinion that you learned most of your parenting skills with the eldest and passed on that training as your family increased until you had the youngest, which they really had an easier time of growing up because they didn’t have to deal with the mistakes that we had made with our older ones.
I know that as I sat there with my mate’s arm around my waist I couldn’t help but notice that he had been given a new nose ring. One that was all shiny and new, a gift from one of the lesser chieftains for some hunting that he had done for the tribe, I suppose. I could also feel how strong he was and could smell his scent as if her were really there and not just part of my dream. I always smiled when he did that deep belly rumble laugh of his when he heard something that amused him or when he was playing with our children and would let out with that loud laughter that seemed to almost frighten them at times.
I know that this was just a dream of things that once were but I have never felt the longing in my heart as much as I do this morning for that wonderful man in my life. He was my world and my everything that was taken away from me by the treachery of the Grimtotem, which I will never forgive. He was the father of my children and he never even got to see how his little sons have grown into strong bulls like he was. Maha has turned out to be a beautiful girl and has many suitors calling; however, she has yet to find one that meets up to her standards. Unfortunately, I think that she is using her Father as a measurement and he was such a special person that she may never find someone that matches her ideals of his memory.
I will admit that when I did wake up, I had tears in my eyes and my heart was sorely aching. I also rolled over in my lonely blanket and glanced at that nose ring lying next to my pillow and wept silently for a bit. It was the only thing that I have left to remind me of the bull that I loved so deeply.
He would be so proud how our children have turned out. Maha is a wonderful hunter, just like her Father, poor Nahai, unfortunately has followed a split path of sort by being both an herbalist and skinner to emulate us. Little Tahfal, that used to make him laugh the most with his antics has grown into a very huge bull and is very much following his faith as a Light Walker and follower of the Earth Mother, his devotion would truly shock his Father if he were here. The little stubby legs are long and powerful and I don’t think he falls down as much as he did when his Father was alive – the tears, yes, the tears are still there for the sadness and evil things that he has seen in our world.
I think the only one that would truly bring sorrow to my mate’s heart would be Naton. Our beautiful eldest child that had evil befall him when he was out searching for his parents. He has taken his being changed into what he is and is making the best of it, however, I do know that he still remembers those days when he would take up his bow and hunt with his Father and it even brings tears to my eyes.
Oh well, I think I should stop feeling so melancholy today and do something constructive. Maybe Nahai and I can go back to Feralas and take in some of those herbs that people seem to like, I know they sell well and we both like the peace of the forest. Yes, yes, I know he watches me like a hawk because my eyes aren’t as good as they once were, but we still make a good team.
I do miss my mate more than usual today and I can’t help but wonder how soon I will be joining him with the Earth Mother’s blessings, however, I am not ready to leave my children yet – they still need a lot of raising and I do need to see if I can’t get that big Death Knight to go out and find some interesting things to do other than just mining and standing there at the smithy making things. He needs to find some fun.