Men Are Stupid Brutes

July 16th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here in my room and I can’t help it if I keep crying.  It’s not every day that you find out that your best friend has been kidnapped by some kind of demon thingy and your brother accuses you of being a whore.

Yesterday was not a good day for me at all and I know my face is blotchy and red because of my tears; however, I really don’t care.  Felessa is missing and even though she makes me furious with all of her drivel about how much she loved my brother and how he forced her to do the ceremony to marry that Kaldorei woman.  It’s all crap, that’s just what it is.  I don’t think that I will ever forgive Fnor for not telling us about Angelese, at least warned us as to what she might be because now Lessa is gone and we don’t even know that  she is alive or not.

Yesterday when Fnor called on the comlink, I wasn’t awake or I wouldn’t have made the mistake that I did that has brought his wrath down on me and on his best friend.   He wanted to know if Fnar was in the house and I said that he was lying next to me in bed, which was very true.  He had fallen asleep there after holding me as we both wept about his sister and the things that had happened.  We didn’t even get to do anything.

When Fnor got to Silvermoon, he made a complete ass out of himself and embarrassed me to the point that I don’t think I will ever be able to show my face on the streets again, well, at least for a long while.  I knew it was him arriving at the house because he always makes that bike of us make more noise than one would think necessary to announce his arrival, however, I was ill-prepared for the way that he came slamming in through the front door with his voice raised, shouting for Dawnglory.

Fnar walked into the foyer and was starting to say something to Fnor when Fnor just punched him square in the face.  I know I screamed as I saw Fnar’s legs wobble underneath and he hit the floor as if he had been pole axed, blood was streaming from his nose and his mouth, the poor fellow’s eyes even looked a bit glazed over.  No, Fnor wasn’t finished yet and just proceeded to grab him up off the floor and started hitting him over and over again.  I think Fnar’s brain or his reflexes kicked in because he started reciprocating.  I know that I tried to get between them and Fnor just slapped me as hard as I have ever been hit and as I slid across the floor and hit the wall, I think I must have fainted or something. He’s never struck me like that before in our lives.

Now, I’m sitting here with a black eye, I have broken furniture all over the foyer and the big window in the sitting room is broken and there are glass shards everywhere.  I just don’t understand it.  Fnor usually will at least give someone a chance to speak before he starts pummeling them like that but he didn’t give poor Dawnglory a chance to open his mouth before he started.

I know that he was upset because he thought that Fnar and I had slept together. That’s no reason to walk in here and act like a maniac either.  I’m old enough to decide if I want a man in my bed or not and which one.   He even called me a streetwalker and a whore, which started the battle all over again between these supposedly “best” friends.   I guess that’s when they ended up in the sitting room and they both went through the window, which roused the guards enough to show up and break up the fight.  They almost went to jail for disturbing the peace.

I think that the tempers are cooled down now and the men have had their discussion about whether my virginity was intact or not.  Fnar kept looking at me last night like he wanted to say something and just kept his mouth shut because my brother was sitting at the table with us, acting like nothing had happened.   I felt so awful that I couldn’t even eat my dinner and finally just left the table in tears.

Fnar and I did explain to Fnor what had transpired between Felessa and me.  We also explained that Felessa had caught her brother holding me in his arms and kissing me, which I will readily admit was the best part of the day.

I will always remember that kiss because he’s never kissed me quite like that before.  If Felessa hadn’t of walked in when she did, I think that my virginity would have been given away very willingly.  I’ve never had a man kiss me like that before, where you just feel like your whole body is melting and you can even feel your toes trembling.

Well, she screamed some things at Fnar, and I screamed some things at her and it was just awful. Fnar kept trying to get in between the two of us and I think he has a few scratches to show for his efforts.  I think that things were starting to cool down a little bit until Angel walked into the room.  It was like pouring fuel on a fire.  The next thing I know, I’m laying on my back on the floor, Fnar is yelling at Felessa to come back and all I see is that crimson robe of Angel’s swirling back as she went back through the door.   Of course, Fnar gave chase after his sister because he had no clue who Angel was and he sure didn’t like the idea that his sister was laughing hysterically as she ran down the street hand in hand with this lady in red.

I guess Fnar must have chased after the two women on foot because I can’t remember hearing a mount or anything.  I know that he was gone for several hours and when he got back, he look horrible. I have never seen him cry before but he was almost sobbing uncontrollably because he said he had chased them as far as he could.  His sister never looked back but was still shrieking with laughter as he chased them.  I guess he almost caught up with them as they were crossing a stream because he said that Angel turned and looked at him and yelled “Too bad, you might have been delicious in bed.”  They just disappeared.   He wanted to know what kind of weirdo Angel was because he said she actually frightened him because she looks very familiar, like someone he had known that was dead.

Of course, he started asking all kinds of questions about Angel and I told him what was going on.  How Felessa and I had met Angel in the Bazaar and how we had all become very friendly.  How we had invited Angel to the house and had dinner.  I didn’t tell him how Felessa was just fawning over Angel like she was some long lost relative or something.    I know that I did tell him Angel had almost immediately started asking questions about Fnor, where he lived, was he married and did he have children…was he as rich as the Titans yet.  It was all very odd and I found it rather disconcerting. I actually started refusing to answer her questions which my roommate and friend, Felessa, developed some kind or oral dysentery and started running off at the mouth about Fnor and what she knew about him, which was a lot  considering she lives with me and sees him as much as I do.

As luck would have it, Angel did get to meet Fnor a day or so later and that’s when things really started to get interesting.  Have you ever watched a cat play with a bird before it finally pounces on it and rips off its head?  That’s just how Angel was acting with Fnor.  I noticed that he kept trying to keep his distance from her and kept looking at her as if he knew her from somewhere, which set Felessa off with questions of hers between her and Angel.  I mean, this was at the height of when Felessa was doing her pity party thing about Fnor getting married and breaking her heart, so, I’m sure those two had some very interesting conversations.

Naturally, I was the odd person out with the two of them and I will admit that I resented it because Felessa had been my best friend for a very long time and here was this stranger in our midst that seemed to warrant all of her attention.  They were always together and I really started to wonder if Felessa had decided that she like girls better than she did boys.    I know that I walked into the Felessa’s room without knocking and caught them together in a kind of weird situation.  There was Felessa with her robes off and Angel was rubbing oil all over her body and saying some weird words that didn’t make sense to me.  Naturally, I was embarrassed but not enough to where I could keep my mouth shut.  I told Angel to leave and to never come back.

It was shortly after that incident that Felessa and I had our fight.  I still don’t know exactly how it all happened because I was too upset and angry to remember it clearly enough now.

Now, that we know what Angel might be, it all makes sense somehow.  Fnor apologized to Fnar and to me for his emotional outburst and attack.  He said that he couldn’t even remember getting here to the house because all he felt was his emotions going completely out of control.  Well, he got that right and I hope that he is going to not say a word when I give him the bills for fixing the house and putting it back to rights.

Fnar has kissed me on the cheek a few times since all of this happened and I can see the tears in his eyes when we start talking about his sister, however, he hasn’t tried to hold me anymore.  I guess he and my brother went to the Rangers and has gotten some of them to go out and track the girls.

I hope Fnor hasn’t screwed things up for himself with his best friend and I sure hope he hasn’t screwed things up for me either.  I just want to take Fnar and hold him in my arms and run my fingers through that long mane of blonde hair and tell him that everything is going to be okay, we’ll find Felessa and we’ll do whatever it is that we need to do to get rid of this thing called Angel.

Fnar may be a womanizer in his own right but he still needs to know that people care about him and his sister.  Everyone needs to know that they have friends that care and love them, no matter what.

Fnor was talking to me in the garden last night about the things that happened and I could tell that he felt awful for having done the things that he did.  He was so very apologetic for striking me but when he pulled out this little necklace and slipped it over my head and told me to wear it, that it would protect me from harm, I almost cried.  He always tries to make things better by giving gifts and things.  All I want from him right now is to know that he will never accuse me of something like that again.  He also had the gall to ask me if I had ever taken anyone to bed yet and I think he was a bit surprised when I leaned back and slapped him as hard as I could.  I left him in the garden, holding his cheek and with his mouth hanging open.   Not even my brother has the right to ask me a question like that.

Would I consider going to bed with Fnar after all of this is over?  We’ll just have to wait and see.



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