Heading Back to Stormwind

August 22nd

Dear Journal,

I hope that Josie had as much fun in Dalaran as I did having her there.  Sure, I’m almost positive that she was a nervous wreck around the family most of the time and Dawnglory didn’t help matters a while lot.  I don’t think she understood what he was saying and my Mom told her that he was talking about the weather and things like that, which Josie happy and left her with a smile.

I really almost wanted to get up from my seat at the table and punch Fnar in the nose for the things he was talking about, fleas and wolf packs.  I know he had been drinking with Fnor before they came into dinner, however, that was just rude.  I know that Fnar has warned me about Fnar’s behavior before and I hadn’t really seen it in action when it was aimed at someone that I was with.

My Mom just gave one of those knowing looks that only Mother’s can give and she didn’t mention that she thought Josie was a Worgen either.  She knows and isn’t going to say a word about it…it’s my choice.

Oh, we had so much fun just roaming around Northrend.  Aunt Felaran made a great chaperone and would lag behind enough to where we had quite a bit of time alone.  Josie and I kissed quite a bit and I did want to do more than just hold her in my arms, however, I was afraid that it would scare her away.  I don’t know if she has ever been with a man before and if he hasn’t, I wouldn’t just want to take her out there in the wilderness like some animal.  I would want it to be very special for her the first time that she has done that sort of thing.

I can’t say that it’s the first time that I have ever been with a woman because that would definitely be a tall tale on my part.  It was an easy thing for a fellow to do in Shattrath; we were all kind of displaced people down there and I know that I ran into more than one lonely woman down there.  What’s a fellow to do when they all but pull his clothes off after some heavy kissing?  Oh well, that’s behind me now; I want to wait on Josie and see how she is going to be with things.

I’ll admit that I am curious as to how it is going to be that first time.  I’ve never seen her in wolf form before and I don’t know if it would happen when we were making love or not.  I’ll have to talk to her straight forward and ask about that so that I will know what to expect.  Yes, I’m nervous as hell about asking her too because that is truly prying into a very private area of her life.  I am just going to have to do it because I’ve hinted around and she hasn’t taken up on the hints either. 

I know that the trip back to Stormwind was kind of sad because I know that she was getting her mind set on going back to where she works and where that Harrier fellow is.  I hope that I was able to convince her that I am very serious about our relationship and it’s not just some passing fancy.  I hope she realizes how much I care for her, it’s not every girl that I date that I bring home to meet the family.  I think she liked them too. 

Do I love her?  I’m not sure what that is at this point in my life. She makes me feel different, like I’m a grown man with my own worth in life.  She makes me think about things that probably wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t with her. Does she feel the same way about me or is she yearning for something that I am incapable of giving her.  There are so many things that I have questions about and I would ask them if I knew she had the same feelings for me.   I am worried about things right now, is there an “us” or will there ever be?  I don’t know.

Oh well, tomorrow will be a full day at work for me and I need to get my head out of the clouds and start thinking about the business.  If things don’t work out with Josie and me, the business will keep me busy enough to where I can try to forget about it at least.



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