I Will Go Too…


November 26th

Dear Journal,

I will have to say that I was more than a little bit sad that my husband had to leave this morning but we both knew the day was coming; it doesn’t make it any easier to handle.  I would have liked to have been able to see him step through the portal and disappear from my view and know that he would be in Orgrimmar and then onto Panderia.  Unfortunately, the Horde won’t allow a wife from the Alliance say good bye to her husband that way – they rather frown on it.  Oh well, we did get to stand on the sidewalk and hold one another for a few more minutes before he went down the hill and off to his adventures.

This was a wonderful Holiday for the family.  I think that Kal and Fnor have finally come to an understanding of sorts.  At least Fnor is accepting his son as a man now, not just some kid, which has taken a load off of my mind.  It will take some time for him to do the same thing with Vash though because Vash is the dreamer and the mage.  Fnor can grasp the concept of another hunter, however, he’s still trying to accept the fact that one of his sons happens to be more inclined to magic. It was just nice to see the two “men” talking as equals and sharing ideas as they should – Father and Son.

Yes, I shed my tears away from Fnor’s sight.  I didn’t want him to remember me with tears streaming down my face like some weak female.  I really didn’t want him to go back to Panderia just yet but I knew that he has to fulfill his duty to the Horde and his Rangers.  He has always done so and always will be that way because that is the type of man that he is.

I know that the walk back to the house alone this morning seemed to take forever because I didn’t want to go back to our bedroom, see his robe lying on the bed, his armor stand empty again.  I wanted desperately to go with him this morning, yes, leave the youngsters here.  I wanted to go adventuring with my man like we have done so many times in the past.  He has promised me that he will come back soon and we will slip off alone and go to Feralas alone.

I know my Mother looked at me and seemed to understand some of the pain that I was going through this morning because she has done the same thing with my own Father so many times in the past.  She can understand the pain that I am going through.  She was happy when I joined the Sentinels because she thought it was less likely that I would ever marry and wouldn’t have to go through this kind of thing because of a man.  Little did she know that the Fates had other things in store for me in the form of a Sindorei Ranger.

I realize that as a Sentinel, I shouldn’t allow these emotions to wash through me like this but I am also a woman.  The female part of me aches to have my husband back in my arms again.  Silly thing!

 I didn’t tell Fnor but I have heard from my old Commander and she wants me to come back to Feathermoon for a while.  It wasn’t exactly an order, however, I have a feeling that they are running a bit shorthanded with some of the younger women heading to Panderia.  I want to go to Panderia too. She knows that I have children to care for, so, it must be important for her to want me to come there.  I’ll make the arrangement in a few days and go there to see what it is that she really wants.

I guess that Kal is going to see his little girl from Stormwind on his way back to Panderia.  I know that she seems nice enough and he cares about her, however, I’m not sure that he is ready to settle down just yet and I hope that he doesn’t let his libido get the best of him.  He also told me about his best friend in Panderia.  I hope he realizes that Kaldorei women tend to be a bit possessive of their men. 

Yes, I did ask him if he has taken either of these women to bed or not.  Of course, that embarrassed him but as his Mother, I do have a right to know these things.  I guess he hasn’t gotten intimate with either one of them although I have a feeling that eventually something will happen. He’s a normal young male and he has his needs, which I did remind him that women have those same needs as well – which kind of shocked him, I guess.  I think it was only because his Mother said it. 

I will admit that when I was seeing Fnor off this morning that I felt like the air in Dalaran was a bit colder than usual.  I think that Winter is upon us and soon we’ll see the snows fall in Stormwind.  I need to get to the office there and make sure that Romey has everything under control.  Maybe I’ll take Vashlan for a visit and he can go wander through the stacks of books at the library and visit some of his friends.

I feel kind of lost today, I can see Fnor’s robe on the bed and I will have to admit that I held in my arms and cried like a child – the smell of him was there, I could almost make believe that he was in the bathroom bathing and would be stepping out any minute.  Why do I have to be left behind this time?

We did talk about Dalaran and he has some concerns about our continuing to live here.  There hasn’t been any trouble that I am aware of, however, I’m sure there is an undercurrent going on with the political differences being forced to the front again.  I haven’t even had a chance to see Lali in a long time and I am sure that she is getting rather large with her baby by now – I wish I could say the same, however, it seems Elune has passed me over again for another baby.

Oh well, before I get any more depressed, I should get busy and see what the rest of the household is doing.  No, I am not going to allow us all to mourn for the men that have left us here, yet again.  I need to get the little ones kicked back up to their studies because they took some time off from that with their Step-Father being home and their Big Brother.






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