Life As A Goblin MIght See It

December 7th,


Well, I will have to admit that the life here in Orgrimmar is okay but it sure isn’t home for me nor my sister and my Uncle.  We seem to have gotten the short end of the stick from ol’ Garrosh and he’s got us all lumped together in the slums.  I mean, Khazan wasn’t any great guns or anything but we all didn’t live in the slums.  Some of us had nice little houses with all of the facilities inside that you need.

Now, my island home is no more and I live in the slums of Orgrimmar in a tiny one person Quonset hut with my pet crab Pinchey.  My Uncle Zednick doesn’t live too far away from the local tavern and my sister Zippie lives on the other side of the slums, closer to the where the Trolls are staying in this town.  It all seems rather odd that we arrive here expecting a warm welcome and got the “Oh, you’re another burden to add to the population speech” from the Warchief.  Oh, I guess we are beggars and shouldn’t be that choosy, however, one would think that the Orc would have been more grateful for our money making and engineering skills.

I did decide to take up the arms of a hunter, they don’t need another hairdresser in this town with all of the Blood Elves running around getting their hair and nails done every few hours. 

I guess that I should introduce myself to start off with, so you will think I’m polite and a little educated. My sister is an Attorney-at-law-in-training, which means she’s real smart and told me that I had to go to the library and pick up some books and start getting smart too.  So, we don’t sound like regular goblins, we sound more sophisticated – even if there are a bunch of mooks running around in this town that wouldn’t notice how we talk if there wasn’t some money involved.  Oh, my name is Dooddah Prattfall, my big sister is Zippie Prattfall and then, well, there’s Uncle Zednick, who falls into the old fashioned category of goblins.  He’s  a mage and an engineer, so it doesn’t really matter how he sounds when he talks unless he’s talking money or engineering.  He’s the magical one of the group.  I guess he was too small to be one of the brawlers.

Anyway, I suppose living in the slums ain’t so bad when you consider that we would have gotten cooked by the lava from the volcanoes if we had decided to stay on the island.  Yeah, sure, we helped out that Thrall dude with all of his problems on the island with the Alliance, however, we thought we would have gotten more of a warm welcome and something better than here’s the key to the city, a lousy robe and here’s where you’ll be working from that Orc fellow.  You’d have thought with how hard we worked for Thrall that we might have had a better place to live.

I kept hearing all of the others talking about this Faire thing and thought I would take a day off and go down there to see what it was all about.  Even if I really didn’t have the extra gold to spare, it was nice getting away from Orgrimmar for a little while and seeing some different things.  Oh yeah, all of those guys down there rig those games so that you’ll spend more money to play them…that much I figured out.  They really need to do something with that canon thing that you can get shot out of at a target in the water off the beach though, my ears are still ringing, because it took me five tries to get the prize, which was another stinking ticket that you can only use at the Faire.

I had fun and enjoyed the food, met a few people while I was down there and a big ol’ Tauren kept stepping on me when we were in line for some of the games – guess he couldn’t see past his belly and see this little green woman standing in front of him.

It was fun though.  Pinchey and I did some fishing while we were there so we are going to have some nice fresh fish for dinner tonight.  I ran into my boss when I got back to Orgrimmar and he wasn’t too upset that I didn’t come in today because a bunch of us must have had the same idea to cut out and go to the Faire.  I thought it was kind of cheap of him not to pay us for the day but I think that’s how they grease the gears around here.  I did tell him that I had felt sick and thought he should pay me for the time off, however, he just cuffed me upside the head and told me to get better or I wouldn’t get paid for the work tomorrow if I didn’t show up.

Oh, I’m sure that Zippie will give me a lecture on my work ethics and how I should put earning money ahead of having some fun.  She will then send me a bill for her “advice” on how I should be living.  Well, I guess it’s all about money and all about how much you can make off some of these idiots. 

Uncle Zednick had invented a drip less mug for those guys at the tavern and had several of them on order – made a lot of money.  The joke was that the reason that the mugs didn’t “drip” was because they didn’t have a bottom – the booze just poured right through but they didn’t drip.  I know that bartender is still looking for Zednick but Zed has his money and has taken a powder for a few days until it blows over.

Oh, well, better start cooking some of these fish and get ready for bed.  I wish I had brought another pair of pajamas with me from home, these red and white stripes make me look fat.




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