Women Are Just Weird

December 7th

Dear Journal,

I know that it seems almost silly to be sitting here this morning, feeling the sun beating down on my skin as I just stare at my plants growing here in Halfhill but it feels good.  Just feels like it’s something that I want to do for the moment.  I guess a little break from the usual stuff isn’t going to hurt anything or get anyone killed either.

I really enjoyed the time that I spent in Dalaran with the family, however, I am starting to feel more comfortable here in Panderia than any place that I have ever been.  Maybe it’s because I feel like I fit in here and people aren’t as quick to judge me due to my heritage, if they even really notice.  This is a new land, new ideas are abounding and new ideals as to how things should be are becoming greatly influenced by the Panderian, which is a good thing in my mind.

Life is just too short to go around and trying to burn through places as fast as you can to see what is on the other side.  I am just enjoying being able to take my time, follow the orders that are given to me and then, my time is my own.  If I want to go fishing or even just sit in the dirt watching plants grow is something that I want to do, I can do that.

I really enjoyed spending that time with Josie in Dalaran.  I do wish that it could have been a longer span of time, however, I understand that part of that was my fault.  I was too concerned about causing her trouble because of how Harrier acted whenever he ran into me.  I was always afraid that his animosity towards me might influence him as to how he treated Josie.  Now, I don’t give a rap about that, she’s as much said that she is just working there and that he’s just being a jerk.  She can handle that part of it and it wasn’t through anything that I said or did.

I did talk with Kae when I got back and told her that I had seen Josie when I was home and she just flicked her ears and smiled a bit.  She really hasn’t said a whole lot to me since then although she still seems friendly enough, however, she has taken to sleeping in another cot rather than in the big bed that we have here at the farm.  I had already told her about Josie when we first got together and that didn’t seem to make a difference to her at that point, wonder what’s happened to shift that all around and make things awkward.  Kae and I are still friends, I hope, we still have all of our duty assignments together and she still hugs me like she used too, she’s just not sharing the bed. Women are just weird I guess.  I’m not mated to either Josie or Kae, I’m still the same person that I was before, just being friendly with other people, shouldn’t make a difference, should it?

I think that I will have to sit down and talk with Kae tonight when she gets home from wherever she went today at dawn.  Who knows, maybe she’s got a liaison with another fellow, which wouldn’t be all that bad, I suppose.  No, I’ve never slept with her, although I do think that the temptation has been building up more and more when we bed down for the night.  She didn’t even clean up the kitchen when she left this morning, which is kind of odd, she’s always done it before. I checked the stables this morning too and all of her stuff is still there, the mounts, the pets and the few odds and ends of tack that she and I had been working on together.  Maybe she just needed some time alone.

I ought to feel comfortable in talking with her about Josie, wouldn’t you think?  I mean, it’s not like I can go out and talk to the other guys about it because they all think I’m a bit strange anyway, with my heritage, and the fact that Kae and I have been living together all of these weeks. 

Maybe if I get a chance to get my Dad off by himself and away from his usual contingent of Rangers here in Halfhill, I can talk to him about it.  I don’t know why I am so worried about it, we’re just friends, right?

I have a gut feeling that I have gotten myself into a mess that I hadn’t counted on.  I know that Kae seemed a bit uptight last night when I had her try on the vest that I am trying to make for Josie as present. I also asked her to mail a letter for me to Josie because she was going to go to the Inn for a little while to talk to some of the other girls, she said.

Oh well, guess I ought to stop beating myself up and get busy here, seems like the crops are just begging to be harvested and I can’t get my mind off of these women.





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