Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.
I guess I’ve been pretty sick these last few days. I know that I feel as weak as a kitten and as hungry as a bear must feel waking from his winter slumber. I knew my neck didn’t feel right the other morning but I guess collapsing at the briefing didn’t really help matters any either. I just passed out and hit the floor very unceremoniously, to say the least. I guess it could’ve been worse under the circumstances because I could have been out in the wild somewhere when it happened.
I know that I would have sold my soul for some ice water a couple of hours ago, however, I guess I was really a pain in the backside for my buddy, Dawnglory, however, he took it all in stride. I didn’t think that I was that sick, however, I guess if I had let it “go” a bit longer, I wouldn’t be sitting here and trying to scribble in this journal while I’m propped up in bed. At least I have a few days to build my strength back up before I have to start taking command of things again. I’m sitting here feeling rather pensive because Dawnglory is my second in command and there are times that I worry about that. Especially when he gets a wild hair and decides to shift groups completely around from things that they are accustomed to doing – changing squad leaders is one thing that he likes to do the most, it seems.
Man, I am going to be in great shape when I go home for Winter Veil and I know that Amyn will be hovering around, which isn’t all bad as far as I am concerned either. I know that the thoughts of having to settle back into life in Shattrath is going to be difficult for me because I am so used to the creature comforts of Dalaran. The instantly heated hot water for a nice long bath is going to be one of the things that I am going to miss the most.
I’ve already applied for and have been granted an extended leave for the holiday for two reasons. One, to heal this wound properly and to be with my family. I’m not sure that Dawnglory is going to come home with me or not but I suspect that he will after he swings by Silvermoon to pick up his sister. I hope that Kal will get some time away to come home, I’ve missed seeing him these last few days at the farm, although, I am sure that we are going to be watched like a hawk since this incident happened.
I know that I will feel one hundred per cent better once I am able to crawl into our nice big bed with my wife again, just feeling her arms around will tell me that I am indeed in a safe haven at long last. I don’t know if she realizes how she makes me feel when we are just lying there and holding one another. It makes me realize that I never have to be alone again, which is something that I have always feared and dreaded. To just lay there in her arms and to take her scent into my nostrils, hoping that my mind would allow me to recall that scent when I get back to Panderia. I know not many Rangers would have the opportunity to get to know a fiery Sentinel like I have for a wife.
We have known for years what a dangerous tightrope we walk with our relationship and it hasn’t been an easy trail to keep hidden. I knew that when Kal was born it would be harder for Amyn to go on with her life with the Sentinels, then came Vashlan – the surprise baby, in more ways than one. We lived our lives, such as they were, in Shattrath to avoid the constant scrutiny and the constant danger of people discovering our relationship. With the kids, it was definitely a given that someone would figure out that they were not of pure Kaldorei blood, the green flecked eyes were a definite giveaway. I know they had a tough time with some of the other children at times but Kal has big fists and Vash has a devious side that seemed to exact his revenge for him.
Now, it’s back to Shattrath for the lot, even my two little stepsons will be making some major adjustments. This was the city where they lived with their Mother and her Kaldorei mate while I was off chasing a dream that wasn’t real at all – I had what I was searching for with Amyn and the children but was too stupid to realize it at the time.
I know that I will miss the chill Winter air that would occasionally blow through the streets of Dalaran and the way that it would awaken you when it blew through the curtains. I think I will be missing a lot things that I always took for granted in Dalaran. If only things could have been different, if only we had been able to handle things diplomatically instead of turning everything crazy when Theramore happened. If only some of us had had an inkling what that idiot in Orgrimmar had been planning – not all Blood Elves were involved in this debacle, yet, we are all punished for the actions of a few. No one knows exactly how many were involved and the speculation runs rampant.
As soon as I am able to climb out of this bed without feeling the world tilt and spin, I’ll get some of belongings packed and head to Shattrath. I suppose I should send a courier ahead or maybe it would be more fun for me to just suddenly appear on the doorstep? I can just imagine the surprised look on my Kaldorei wife’s face when she opens the door and finds me there.
Surprisingly enough, I haven’t received any kind of summons to report to Orgrimmar for anything after that accident. Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal or someone is just biding their time to add more fuel to the fire. I haven’t even gotten a letter of reprimand which is pretty unusual in of itself. I guess I shouldn’t sit here and stew about it because it is wartime and possibly it is not even considered a problem. I know that the gossip is flying in camp because Dawnglory has overheard some of it and he did say that sometimes when he enters an area where people are talking, they go silent. I guess we will just have to wait for the other shoe to drop.
My mind keeps jumping around this morning. I may need to put this aside and write more later. I know that I am happy as can be that I will be going home soon. Home to see my wife and children – that thought really does put a smile on my face and I know that I won’t be coming back here until after the first of the year, which is a nice long respite.
I have to stop writing because my silly cat, Pan, keeps nudging the book and it does make it hard to write on a moving target. Maybe some more sleep is in order too, I do feel tired and I do feel like I could close my eyes and drift off for a little while.