War Can Be Hell

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.

December 16th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here in these pre-dawn hours, enjoying the solitude, the coolness of the air as well as just sitting here staring out across the landscape.  I know that with the dawn will come more work, more people and more horrors of war.  There are days when I wonder how this could have been any different from any other war or conflict that I have been involved in.  I know that I do my duty every day and if I make it through the day without being injured or just surviving, it’s been a good day.

Yes, yes, I usually try to keep my journals a bit on the lighthearted side of things by discussing my family most often and occasionally there are times when I just let my mind wander ad hoc and never really think about what I’m actually writing down.  Oh, I’m sure that one of these days, if these journals were ever read by another person, they will probably think that I was just one those arrogant men that felt that he had control over anything in his life.  Unfortunately, that has not been the case in the true sense.

I try not to write about the deaths I’ve seen, the letters of condolence that I have written to so many families in the past.  I know that I try to keep those letters as formal and as uninformative as I possibly can to the families, as policy dictates. Your son or daughter died in battle upholding the honor of the Horde – you should be proud that they gave their lives in this service;etc.

I don’t write about the fact that I watched their loved one screaming in pain or lying there holding their intestines inside with their hands and knowing that there was nothing the healers could do for them other than ease the pain for them until their souls cross over into the next life, if there really is such a thing anymore. I don’t write about the fact that I have seen men or boys close to the ages of my sons, lying there and sobbing for their Mothers, to ease the pain for them as they did when they were younger.  Each time I see these young men lying there and dying, I can feel my heart break a little bit more for their families and can’t help but compare those feelings to what Amyn and I would feel if anything happened liked that to our children.

Yesterday started out as a good day, I was going to take some time away from the command post and just go work at the little farm that I have started, not that far from Kal’s place, if the truth were to be known.  I probably spent a bit more gold getting the area that I did, for that reason.  I may not get to spend time with my son like I would like, however, I can tell by the way his fields are appearing, that he is still alive and able to work there. My little plot of land isn’t anywhere near in comparison to Kal’s place, however, he’s been at it a bit longer and I would assume that he has had more time to deal with things than I have because of our different levels of responsibility in our service.

I had just started to settle in to a day of being the farmer instead of a Ranger when I got a message to report back to the command post because an emergency situation had arisen that no one else could handle at the moment.  I have no idea where Dawnglory had taken off, however, the junior officer left in command knew where I was, if I was needed.

I got back to the command post to discover that I had had one patrol go out that had run into quite an ambush.  Instead of falling back and regrouping the young officer had decided that he would have his men spread out and still try to muscle their way through a group of Kaldorei.  Spread out?  What kind of moronic reasoning was this fellow using?  Fall back, regroup and assess the situation before you try a full on frontal attack, for Light’s Sake!  We’re Rangers, we don’t wear full plate armor and we sure as hell don’t have the fire power for that kind of attack anyway – it’s hit and run, hit and run, that’s how you survive when you run into a group like they did.  I lost 15 men and the young officer was amongst the dying when I got back.  Apparently, one of the more experienced men made the decision to get back to where a message could be sent for reinforcements without the officer’s knowledge.  I’m glad that he did break the protocol because if he hadn’t, I could have easily lost the entire unit of 25.  These men were supposed to be on patrol, assessing the enemy lines, they were not given a directive to fall into a full scale battle and they weren’t equipped for it.

A second patrol had been in the area and dispatched to assist this newer group of men and at least they were more successful in their assault than the first group had been.  We only lost two men from that group and that was due to possible friendly fire, which will be investigated.

I could feel the gorge rising in my throat when I entered the field hospital, the number of injured from this skirmish was inexcusable because it was unnecessary to begin with. I don’t know if I was more heartsick from seeing all of the injuries or if my temper was kicking in.  I know that the healers were doing the best that they could under the circumstances.  They were triaging the men as best they could under the conditions in the field.

The young officer that had led this debacle was lying in a bed close to the entrance, his condition might have been survivable, however, I’ll never know that for certain.  He only looked at me and told me it wasn’t his fault, I had lied to him.  How the hell had I lied to him?  He had been given his orders that morning just like the rest of the other officers were given – these were to be light patrols, nothing more.

 Over and over, we tell these kids that they have to send out scouts ahead of the patrols and then they have the points following behind at some distance – come to find out, he had ordered his  three scouts to stay within eyesight of the group and not rove as far afield as is their normal protocol.  As the ranking officer in the field, he had that right to make that call and it was wrong, so very wrong.  He lay there with those accusing eyes glaring at me as the bubble frothed from his mouth, grasping my hand as if I had the power to pull him back from death’s doorway. 

I didn’t realize that he had the strength or the arms to do what he did next. He had a knife in his hand damned near succeeded in taking me with him to his next destination point, which was going to be a black abyss of death if the bleeding didn’t stop.  I felt the blade as it weakly connected with my throat and I didn’t even feel my reflex reaction when I pulled my own blade out of my boot and buried it in his chest.  Yes, I killed him and it’s something that I will always feel guilty about, however, it was a choice of him or me…I wasn’t planning on making my wife a widow anytime soon.

I heard the screams in the tent from a healer that had been attending to the next man, lying a pace away from the man I had just killed.  I felt the pressure of a cloth being jammed against my neck to stop the bleeding from my wound, which is going to leave an interesting scar, as two others grabbed my arms and ejected me from the tent.  My wound was minor, however, what I had done was not.

To say that I feel horrible about what happened is a total understatement.  I’ve never lost control of myself like that in my life.  There could have been another way that I could have stopped the attack from an already wounded man, I didn’t have to take his life like that. 

The only thing that stopped me from actually turning and running away was the fact that a healer kept talking to me and asking me if I was “okay” and I know I responded that I was fine.  My body and my mind didn’t feel like they were connected, it was like I was standing outside of myself and watching what was going on. 

I know that the gossip of the event will spread like wildfire and I will have to face a tribunal of some sort, however, I feel that I will be exonerated from any charges.  I’m a Commander of a battalion of Rangers and this is a time of war where orders and directives are given.  If those are not followed, my actions alone should be upheld. The man attacked me and I defended myself.  Yes, I feel guilty for taking his life in the manner that I did and the only defense that I have is that when he attacked, my own training took over and I reacted without giving it a thought.

As for me telling him a lie about his orders for the duty, that’s not even remotely possible.  I’ve already found that he was outside of his patrol parameters and apparently had exceeded his orders enough to where he cost men their lives without a thought.  I can only think that he was one of my officers that liked to go out and “glory” hunt or something of that nature.  He was totally off the grid that he had been assigned for patrol by several miles. This was possibly someone’s ego outflanking any kind of strategy that he had been trained for.

The one thing that I can say about this war is that the men that are being sent to us these days are not trained in the manner that we have had in the past.  They seem to think that they are invincible just because they have the title of Ranger.  Some of these people are just barely out of their childhoods, is the shortage of manpower that great that we’re sending out green recruits to face the enemy?  I know that the Senior Officers in my command have all had problems with some of our more recent arrivals than we have in the years past.  This is something that we need to take up with the High Command before we have any more instances like this happening. I have also heard the rumor that commissions are being sold to certain families and young men.

Of course, I’ve already heard some of the gossip floating around and it isn’t pleasant, even if it may have some truth to it.  I do have certain leanings towards the Kaldorei due to my family, however, I don’t think that it has clouded my judgment.  Not many people here know that the young Kaldorei that I have been seen talking with is my son.  Of course, if this was common knowledge, I would be stripped of my command and probably end up being hanged for being a traitor – this is something that I have had to face for all of the years that Amyn and I have been together.

Yes, one of the letters that I wrote last night was to this young man’s family with the usual automatic lines about honor and duty.  Part of my mind wanted to write that he had died of stupidity in his search for glory, which would have been cruel on my part and totally unnecessary.  I know that due to his family in Silvermoon, there will probably be some repercussions if the gossip here in the camp reaches that far, which I am almost sure that it will, it usually does.

Now, I’m sitting here, the sun is starting to rise and I think I may have slept for about an hour last night.  The coffee tastes as delicious as it usually does and yes, I’ve probably smoked more cigarettes than normal.  My neck is aching a little bit this morning and I’ll probably go have it checked out in a little while before I do anything else.  Oh yes, it’s almost time for me to get back in my armor and head out to give out the orders for the day.  I hope that things go better today.

Pan is making me smile this morning because he has found a butterfly and is chasing it around in circles and acting like a kitten.  To him, everything in his world is acting as intended.  What little does he realize is that his master is feeling very old today and wishes that he could go home to his wife and kids.

Fnor Morningstar




Back To Living AGain

December 15th

Yeah Book!!

It’s me again!! Who else would be writing in here besides me is totally beyond any mindboggling thoughts at this time.  This is my journal and if anyone else wants to read this drivel, well, okay – go for it!

Well, seems like everything is closed up in Dalaran as far as Morningstar Enterprises goes and it’s all back in Orgrimmar for the Horde side of the business.  Fuck! I’m not sure that Fnor hasn’t gone off the deep end a little bit, however, I guess he would much rather be safe than sorry about things if they go the way he thinks they will.  I’ll admit that when I went to pick up my sister and our stuff, people didn’t act the same – kind of skittish.  I bet whatever is going to happen will happen in the next few days.

I know my sister was none too happy to leave Dalaran and was even less pleased when I suggested that she start her studies again in Silvermoon.  I mean, she still can’t remember everything that happened with Angelese, however, I think that she remembers more than she’s talking about.  It was a horrible time for her and it damned near cost her life.  At least I know that she will be somewhat safe there with Agatha taking care of things.  She just wasn’t too happy with the thoughts of going back to Silvermoon where she remembers so many bad things happened to her.

I just dumped my crap in Orgrimmar for the time being.  It’s not all bad in Orgrimmar, just dusty, dirty and noisy, twenty-four seven.  We won’t even talk about the crowds of people that seem to be coming into the city now.  It has been a huge overload of people and to be honest, I’m not sure how much Faendra is going to like living there most of the time now.  My duties keep me in Panderia and I make it a point to come back and check on things every few days – well, maybe we can spend some time together when I’m in town.

This fucking situation is crazy.  Not all Blood Elves sanctioned what happened at Theramore and we sure as hell didn’t all take a vote with that pea brain Warchief to declare an all-out war against the Alliance in this way.  We were honor-bound by an oath that we had taken years ago to follow our allegiance with the Horde.  This was back in the day when we were fighting for our lives against the Scourge and the Lich King.  Now, there comes the rub; rumor has it that the High King or whatever he’s called these days was working out some kind of deal for the Blood Elves to come to the Alliance and that’s all gotten blown to Hell and grown with some of the recent events. Politics, that’s all it is and they will ook you in the dooker every time you bend down to pick something up off of the ground.  I know that it is just crazy to be fighting people that you used to sit in the Lounge in Dalaran and have a drink with now and again, you know, talking about old times.

Yeah, I’m back in Panderia and sitting at Fnor’s little farm that Fnor has decided to give it a go.  I almost think that he’s doing that so he can build up another place to where his family can join him here, which isn’t such a bad idea.  I might start one of my own sometime in the future, but right now, I’m just trying to stay alive and keep these raw recruits we just got sent living long enough to see the other side of this bloody island.

I’m still not happy about leaving Dalaran either; however, I don’t think that we, Blood Elves, were going to be given much choice in the matter.  It was a great place to live and I enjoyed the fact that it wasn’t big enough for half the world to move up there with us.  Now, it’s going to be trips to Orgrimmar with all of the dust and dirt.

You’d think that Garrosh would have had the damned place finished with the remodeling and all of the extras being added since the demise of Deathwing, but, no, it’s hammering and yelling all of the time and the dirt gets into everything, food, clothes and let’s not forget that you need to dust yourself off before you even walk into your own apartment.  Just a fine layer of dust that seems to reappear no matter how many times you wipe it off in just a matter of minutes, which is terrible to think that you’re breathing that shit too.  Almost makes me wish that I hadn’t given up my spot in Thunder Bluff – it smelled like cows but it was clean.

Well, at least I’m over my sad moments from the other night.  I was damned lonely that the Panderian women were starting to look inviting; however, I don’t know that I’d ever get that desperate.  I guess I should just try to start mingling a bit more with some of the other people up here sometime because it sure would beat the hell out of sitting here writing and talking to myself.  One thing though, if I say something that I don’t like, I can at least tell myself to shut the fuck up.

I guess Fnor is opening his old place back up in Shattrath for Amyn and the little guys to live, that mage kid has gone back to Stormwind to study and I hope he can stay safe there. So, I suppose that Fnor and I will have to take turns in being away from the command post instead of both of us taking off.  I know that I kind of want to avoid moving back to Shattrath for a while because it’s where I grew up and picked up a lot of bad habits too.  I know that my sister sure made an ugly face when I told her that she could have a choice of going back to Shattrath or going to Silvermoon – I think she chose wisely.

This whole war situation is probably tearing a lot of families and future plans all up because none of us thought that the Theramore incident would have the long range affects that it had.  Not to mention, Garrosh getting a hair up his backside to take Panderia before the Alliance could get a good strong foothold in there.  That’s why we’re here – go make sure that those guys in Blue don’t get that piece of grass that rightfully belongs to the Horde.

I still spend a lot of time off alone here in Panderia.  I think sometimes it’s a good thing because I can be myself and no one expects anything of me.  I can go off and hunt for game, getting some great leather and fish when I want too.  This is some of the shit that Fnor and I like to do, when we’re not on duty and it’s something that some of the younger Rangers can’t seem to fathom.  It’s not like we have to be “balls to the wall” and going crazy with this war shit.  A man has to have the time to have some time for his own private thoughts and we’re not here to impress anyone. 

I know that I like being able to take the time to just think things through on my own.

Yeah, I’m still lonely most of the time and one would think that I would have gotten used to it by now.  Being lonely is a hunter’s lot in life because you’re never really anywhere to put roots down for long because that’s not where the game is.  I think I came close to having a real home in Dalaran, even if I didn’t own the building, it was where I was the most comfortable.





Farewell Dalaran

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.


December 13th

Dear Journal,

I did make it back to Dalaran before Amyn and the rest of the family had left and I saw them all off, Agatha is staying behind and is cleaning the “now” empty house.  I know that I am really having a hard time balancing this journal while I’m sitting on the floor of what was once my office and I can feel the tears welling in my eyes every few minutes.

I’ve walked through the house several times, checking closets and things to make sure that we haven’t left anything behind and each time I would cross the threshold of the different rooms, I feel that catch in my throat that tells me I’m on the verge of tears.

This was a happy place for years and the only place I ever thought of as “home” through all of that time.  Now, to leave it all behind is almost more than I can bear.  There are so many memories linked to this house, both good and bad, however, mostly good happy times. I’ll miss walking in that slate foyer and smelling the wood of the paneling that never seemed to dissipate over the years.

I remember when I first bought the place, it had been abused by the previous owner and I had a lot of free time, so, a lot of my sweat went into the first remodeling of the place.  I know that Pan and I had never had so much room at our disposal before and sometimes I think that we both got kind of spooked with the way the noises would sometimes echo through the halls.

I was still a pretty financially soft hunter back in those days.  It took a long time to put everything together for the kitchen and have it the way that I wanted it back then.  Oh, by the Light, the stables were huge and a mess – I actually left most of my mounts and pets in Shattrath with Amyn when I first came up here.  It took me days, weeks even, to get things put in order so that I had a place for the animals that would be suitable and to hire my first employee, the stableman.

Oh sure, I slept on the floor for a long time in the master suite and promised myself that I would have a huge bed in here with black satin sheets and a soft black velvet comforter for it, the canopy over the bed came much later.  Everything came to pass in due time, even remodeling the fireplaces with black marble to make them look even bigger.  Oh, those were the days when I was still very single and still out in the field a lot – I probably would make it back to Dalaran twice a month if I was lucky. 

Now, the echoes are back in the house, the emptiness is almost overwhelming this time.  No laughing children running through, no friends sitting in the great room talking over drinks.  No, the only three things left in the house now are Pan, myself and Agatha.

Agatha is actually going to take care of the big house in Silvermoon and see what she can do to get the staff trained on the other one.  At least she’s not leaving my employment and yes, she cried when she started cleaning the house for the last time – we both loved it here for a very long time.

So, it’s time for me to get off my backside and head out, lock the front door for the last time and make sure that the wards are still set.  So, it’s good-bye Dalaran, thanks for the happiest years of my life and I wish you well.  Something tells me that we’ll be back some day.

Fnor Morningstar

War Changes Families

December 12th

Dear Journal,

I was sitting on the porch at the farm in Halfhill last night, just listening to the crickets chirping in the night air, staring at the moon, you know, just having some quiet peaceful time.  A fellow needs that sort of thing when he’s been busting his backside and just wants to be alone.  Kae is back and acting like she normally does, which is nice.  She seems to smile more at me these days and likes to give me hugs a lot of the time for no reason.  I don’t understand that either because I think that she was angry with me about seeing Josie and knowing that I will see her again.

I wanted some time to think about things because I had gotten a letter from my Mom yesterday that really upset me more than it should have.  It appears that we’re all moving again, out of Dalaran because it’s not safe there anymore for my Dad to even come home. What in the hell is going on?  Dad has lived in Dalaran for years and has always loved the place from what I can gather and now the poor man can’t even go home to run his business and be with his family anymore.  It made me sad, not only for myself but for the rest of the family.

I could tell that Mom was upset with the way that she wrote things because she didn’t sound like herself at all.  It seems that she is going to reopen the house in Shattrath again as well as meet with Dad to discuss the property that he has in Nagrand.  She even told me to be careful when I went to Stormwind because people are not real receptive to the Horde right now and that I have to wear those contacts to cover my eyes so the green won’t show.  I hate those things, they make my eyes feel lumpy and itch. It’s not like I can keep my head down and not meet anyone eye-to-eye even with a hat on these days because I’ve gotten so much taller since I’ve been here in Panderia.

It’s all because of Theramore and I’ve heard that Jaina Proudmore has gone off the deep end a bit since she set foot in Dalaran.  She’s trying to start up trouble even with the Kirin Tor being neutral, she’s really causing a stir – the news has even reached us here in Panderia.  It seems like the Blood Elves are being blamed for everything even if a lot of them didn’t condone what happened, they are all going to be punished for being of that race.  My Dad was more than a little heartsick with the bombing of Theramore and I even heard him make some rather traitorous remarks in regard to the Warchief, yet, he’s up here doing his duty because that’s the kind of man that he is. All of this political crap is just stupid, why can’t we just stop and think about what’s going on before we all go crazy.

I guess I’m not old enough to understand a lot of this political stuff, it just seems so idiotic and people act like what happened was the end of the world.  It wasn’t the end of the world but it sure did open things up even more when we went to Panderia and the Horde followed us in.  Yes, there’s a war going on with the Horde and the Alliance, that’s why I’m here, however, the Panderian are keeping things fairly well tempered with the aggressions between both factions. 

I was sitting on the porch and trying to mull things over in my head to see what I could figure out with it.  I did notice that the crickets stopped singing in the night and I saw a black shadow moving out in the field, which is not a normal thing.  I thought initially that it was some Hozen coming in the pilfer from my crops that were almost ready to harvest and decided that I ought to wander out that way and do some investigating. 

Well, I was a little surprised to see my Dad in the field, dressed like he normally does when he’s out scouting.  He smiled when he saw me and I think we both let out a sigh of relief because we weren’t going to have to battle it out.  He had come to tell me about what my Mom had already written me and he didn’t look too happy about it.  Yes, it must be hard for him to lose his home in Dalaran and have to move the businesses back to their respective capitals – Orgrimmar for the Horde and Stormwind for the Alliance. He was more torn up about having to uproot the family and have them go to Shattrath too, even though it was a home to us for a lot of years before he and Mother decided to get married in the Sindorei fashion. 

I’ll admit that when I first starting reading the letter from Mom, I thought that Dad had gone back to his philandering ways again and had dumped her for another Sindorei woman.  I was angry with him all of those times that he’d come back and then he’d leave us again to go off in search of whatever it was that he thought he needed.  We were like a temporary haven for him until the wanderlust would hit him again.  As I’ve gotten older and they got married, I’ve come to understand some of his reasoning for some of this and have grown to love and respect him for the man that he is.  He did what he thought was the right thing at the time even though it was wrong for his mate and his children.  I honestly don’t know how Mom put up with it, however, I guess she loved him no matter what he did.

Anyway, getting back to my conversation with my Dad.  It was pretty intense because he told me that he felt like there was a real danger coming in Dalaran and that any Blood Elf would be in danger and that included their families and their children, especially those of mixed heritage.  Well, that kind of opened my eyes a little bit too because that would have meant that Mom, my brother, my half-brothers and my grandparents would have all been in harm’s way because of the relationship with my Dad. I know that I’ve never seen him show his emotions but I could see the sadness in his face and he actually had tears in his eyes when we were talking.  He all but apologized to me for having messed up my life. 

I told Dad that it didn’t matter, that I have lived on the edge of society all of life because of my heritage and that it didn’t matter to me.  I still had him and Mom and the rest of the family – it was hard to see this proud man just kind of wilting in front of me. 

We even sat down in the dirt and he pulled a flask out of his tunic and offered me some of his special blend, which is really telling me that he has finally accepted me as a grown-man.  I even had one of those nasty cigarettes that he likes to smoke, which I can’t seem to develop a taste for, they just made my head reel and made my throat hurt.  I guess this was my first real man-to-man discussion with my Father and I have to admit that it made me feel good. I felt like I was on equal footing with him finally.

When we finally finished talking, we gave each other a hug and wished one another well.  I know I almost felt like it might be the last time that I see him for a while which definitely tore at my heart.  I don’t want the relationship to end now, not when it’s just really begun after all of these years.  I’ll keep an eye out for him in the field when I’m on patrol, as he does for me, and we’ll meet again at the market, I’m sure of it.

When I got back to the house, Kae was still sitting at the table working on some armor that she was bound, bent and determined to make and she politely told me that if I am going to Inn, to let her know so that she didn’t have to worry.  Then she told me that I smelled bad because of the cigarette smoke and the alcohol I had had with Dad.  So, there I had to go off and get a bath before we went to bed.

Now, I have to write to Josie and tell her the plans have changed for Winter Veil and that we will have to get together in Stormwind or Shattrath since we will no longer be living in Dalaran.  I hope she will still come to visit me here in Panderia too. This time I won’t be stupid and I’ll mail my own letter instead of asking Kae to do it for me.  I think that’s what pissed her off the last time.


A Time To Move…Now

December 11th

Dear Journal,

Well, just damn!  Now, I have to go talk to my parents and tell them that “we’re” moving again and see how they feel about it.  I think that Fnor will keep the house here in Dalaran but it’s going to be empty and I doubt that he will even rent the thing out.  I know that housing is really hard to come by, especially a place this size unless some Innkeeper would like to buy it out or something.  It’s my Sindorei’s white elephant of real estate right now, with the way that things are going.

I know I was looking forward to the holidays here in Dalaran even with the way that some people are acting these days. I was never concerned about my personal safety here in the city, however, I’m not so sure that it would be a safe haven for the little guys and my two oldest sons.  I can handle the personal insults and turn a deaf ear to some of the things that have been said, however, my sons aren’t quite able to turn the other cheek and ignore things because they aren’t old enough to do that yet.

 I had big plans to decorate the house with all of the decorations that we have accumulated over the years and have a big tree in the great room by the fireplace.  Now, it seems that all of that is not going to happen and it makes me sad.  This was to be our first real holiday as a family in Dalaran and I wanted to do it up right.  Oh well, everything has to change now, I suppose.

I guess that Faendra isn’t too pleased with the thoughts of having to move everything to Orgrimmar per Fnor’s orders.  She isn’t overly fond of the city because of the crowding, the dirt and the noise but she will have a nice place to stay in the apartments above the warehouse, just like we have in Stormwind.  Of course, she should stop to think that she might have a chance to run into Dawnglory a bit more frequently that way too – out of sight and away from her brother and myself.  If nature is to take its course, it would be best to have it out of our knowledge, at least.  Besides, I’m sure that she will enjoy working with Zippie and Dooddah once in a while because she says they always make her laugh.

I was going to surprise my Sindorei when he got home for the holidays.  I actually went to the tournament grounds, signed up and I have been taking lessons on jousting.  I don’t think that I am doing too badly and it is one place where I can escape for a little while too.  I guess I’ll have to curtail that activity since we will be moving away from Dalaran.  Just when I was starting to have some fun with it.  Of course, there may be a way that we can all still enjoy that part of Northrend without stepping on the toes of the people in Dalaran.  I guess I can surprise him at another time.

I hope that he tries to come back to Dalaran by the week’s end because there are some things that only he can handle with all of the changes.  I lack his diplomacy with certain things but I can sense his urgency in getting all of us out of Dalaran as quickly as possible.  I think that I will talk to my parents and have them take the little guys to Dolonaar for a visit today – one less thing for me to worry about at this point.

He always has a sense of foreboding that has always stood him good stead and I tend to go with his feelings on things like this.  It’s almost like a gift from Elune and the Light that he can find out or feel things long before the rest of the family.  That could be why he has more gray in his hair these days, his worries and his concerns about not only his family but the people that he has under his command. We can be thankful that we had a few years of false peace and now, it appears as though it is going to be all out War again, which makes my soul shudder to think what could happen in a city like Dalaran.  We’re so isolated up here in the sky and what we thought was protection from the world below us may just be our end. 

So much to do and so little time to get them all done.  I wish my husband was here to help me with some of this. Time to start packing and shipping things to Stormwind, Orgrimmar and Shattrath.



Always Making Changes – Damned War

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.


December 11th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here this morning and wondering about a lot of things that are going on.  Yes, I know Dawnglory was none too pleased with the discussion that we had in regard to his relationship or lack of relationship that he has with my sister.  I may have been a bit too blunt and more than a little harsh with him, however, he asked for my opinion and I gave it to the best of my ability.  I may not have been as diplomatic as I should have been, but, that’s my sister he’s trying to get involved with on a deeper level.

I’m torn between protecting my sister and trying to maintain the relationship that Dawnglory and I have had for all of these years.  I know that I could never find another friend like him, he’s always covered my back and he’s always been steadfast in his friendship – even when he didn’t exactly agree with some of my ideas or orders.  Of course, it might have been better if the conversation had been held with Faendra included in the conversation as well because I might get a better insight as to how she really feels about the matter.  Are they both just shot in the backside with the romance of having a relationship in this time of war, like I see happening with so many others?

I am hearing more news of some civil unrest in Dalaran and it disturbs me greatly.  My wife and children are still in the city, however, I have come to some decisions that I feel might be the right thing for the current times.  If the Horde become unwelcome in the city, that pretty much shuts down Morningstar Enterprises in that area, doesn’t it. I think the idea of moving the offices for the Horde back to Orgrimmar, dusty and dirty as it is now, will be the best thing and have Amyn move her offices permanently to Stormwind will be the only alternative that we have right now.

My biggest problem is that I have had my home in Dalaran for several years now and the house that we have there isn’t just a house, it’s a home.   I know that I always felt that Dalaran was my escape from the strife and stresses of the rest of Azeroth.  I could go home to Dalaran, walk the streets unarmed and always feel that it was safe there for not only myself but for my loved ones as well.  Now, it seems that that may just be dwindling away with each passing day.  It was the only place that Amyn and I could openly live together and raise our children openly – it didn’t really seem to matter that she is Kaldorei and I am Sindorei and our two oldest boys are of mixed blood – no one seemed to notice it all that much.  Now, it’s changing and I don’t like some of the reports that I am getting from that area.

I’ve already sent letters to Amyn and Faendra to start shutting down the operations in Dalaran and to get their businesses back to Orgrimmar and Stormwind, that’s the only solution that I have for the business that has provided for us all of these years.   I know that Amyn will dread the thought of packing everything up and moving it yet again, however, it’s a choice that we have both made in the past and will continue to have to make these radical changes in the future, I’m afraid.

Now, as far as the family goes, we are going to have to relocate back to Shattrath where Amyn and I lived openly for so many years without much trouble.  It will be the only neutral city where we can keep the family together until I can make other arrangements for us.  Of course, I will have to take some time to check out the property in Nagrand and see how we are going to be able to enlarge the house there to accommodate the whole family.  Of course, I am assuming that Amyn’s parents will want to make the move with us or they may decide to go back to their house in Dolonaar.  It will have to be their decision to make because they are getting up there in years and I know that this constant shifting around is definitely difficult for them.  I know Amyn will probably want them in Shattrath, however, her Mom isn’t one that can just stay stuck in the city like she has been in Dalaran – the garden helped her feel more at home and I don’t think that we’d have the space in Shattrath for one, maybe in Nagrand.

I am still heartsick that my beloved wife was treated badly by one of the shopkeepers in Dalaran because of the fact that she is married to me.  There was always a sense of pride of that fact when we were in the city together and people just let us live our lives and our money was always good, no matter who we were.  Poor Amyn had to open a second account with her company name, Shadowmoon Enterprises,  so that the supplies could be purchased for the house without it going to anyone from the Horde.  Alliance money and Horde money has always been the same, why the discrepancy now?  I was angry about the whole thing at first but it also gave me a clue of how things will become in the city that I have loved for so many years.

I guess that I will also have to make arrangements for the house servants to be paid off and dismissed, except for Agatha.  I will have to make arrangements for her to go with us to Shattrath and Nagrand or have her take over one of the houses in Silvermoon.  She is more like family than an employee in my eyes and I won’t see her having to struggle to make ends meet.  I’ll let her make the decision though, I would hate to lose her after all of these years together.  She’s seen me through some pretty hard times as much as Amyn has, she’s probably the one that has seen both the good and bad sides of my personality and has taken it with a grain of salt without giving me a lot of grief for being a stupid idiot sometimes – especially with the number of mistakes I’ve made about my personal life.

I should have implemented all of these plans when I was home for the holidays, however,  I was in hopes that it would just be a rumor mill running on overdrive since the Theramore incident.  Yes, it was more than an incident, it was a bloody disaster and only one group of people can truly be blamed for it even though they were just following orders for that idiot. Warmongering bastard that he is.  Oh well, they do say that hindsight is twenty-twenty and I have a full scope of what may be happening in that fair city in the future.  It’s a crying shame that we, the Horde affiliates, will no longer be welcomed in a city that we helped build on a lot of different levels.

I’m just sitting here thinking about how things used to be in Dalaran.  How it always seemed to be the cleanest place in Azeroth and you didn’t have the poverty shoved in your face around each street corner.  I guess I am a snob in that regard because I always felt that living in Dalaran put you a full step above most of the other people in the other cities.  Now, that will be gone.  The peace and the sheltering of one’s soul in that city were the things that drew me there to begin with – my escape for the harsh realities of Azeroth will be no more.

I think my son, Kal, may have the right idea after all.  He’s really digging himself in to staying in Panderia indefinitely.  He has his farm, a nice little bungalow as well as the ability to enjoy himself no matter where he is.  He reminds me a lot of myself at that age.  I was always happy when I could work with my hands and see the different parts of the world.  When he is in Halfhill, he tells me that he just lets the War take care of itself, it never enters into his property nor what he has going on there either.  Of course, the older he gets, the more of a Kaldorei he is becoming – he definitely is in touch with the land, much more than I.  He seems happy for the most part and he is continuing to do his duty for the Alliance in spite of his heritage.

If it were at all possible, I would like to find some place in this new land to move my family too.  Some day when the war cools down, which it will, there should be a place here that we can live together again.  It’s a beautiful country and I know that the kids would be happy here and the Panderian way of life is very soothing, if not downright heavenly after having to deal with all of the political intrigues that we have to deal with in the cities.  Maybe I can find a place here for all of us sometime in the future – I know that Amyn would be in her element here.

Well, I guess that I need to get off my backside and start making some arrangements, maybe a trip to Outland to make sure that we will be able to get completely moved before the next holiday.  I was really looking forward to spending my leave in Dalaran, however, that doesn’t look too promising at this point.


Fnor Morningstar

Just Lonely & Drunk

December 11th


Hell yes, it’s me again and I guess you and I will be very close friends for a while since it seems that I need to mature a bit more and there is no one else to fucking listen to me at the moment.  It’s funny when you think that you have a shitload of friends and when you need them, they aren’t to be found.

I did have that discussion with Fnor, finally.  I don’t know if that was a good idea or not because I was informed that he thought I needed to mature a bit more before I decided to make any kind of commitment to a relationship. Oh, he was nice enough about explaining that with my past history with women that I was unable to settle down and he didn’t want to see his sister getting hurt at this point in her life.  I’ve always known that he was over-protective of his sisters, however, I didn’t realize that he would even put that before the friendship that we have had over the years.  I guess I just need to fucking bide my time.

What makes Faendra so different from other women?  Well, her beauty alone makes her different in my eyes, however, it’s the way that she thinks that has me more intrigued.  She’s not some simpering idiot from Silvermoon and she has a mental and physical toughness that is very much like her brother’s.

I know I haven’t always been the way that I am now.  I used to give a damn about what people thought about me, however, I reached a point shortly after joining the Rangers that it really didn’t matter.  I would never be able to get to the levels that I wanted too because of the fact that I was an orphan and I was raised in Shattrath – not the shining streets of Silvermoon.  The only connections I had with Silvermoon was through the Morningstar family and they didn’t have the really great connections either.  Oh well, I suppose I can try to change, try to be more caring and not jumping on every available woman that seems to be remotely interested in me.

Right now, I’m sitting in the Inn at the Shrine of Two Moons and getting sloppily drunk on my arse.  I’m lonely, I’m tired and wish that I could go back to Dalaran and spend some time there. Hell, I’d even happily go back to Orgrimmar for a while because there are people there that even know my name.  Here, in Panderia, there are so many people and I have yet to find anyone outside of my small circle of acquaintances that I can call “friend” or anything close to that.  War is hell in some ways, the biggest thing that I am finding is that it’s a lonely existence when you’re off the battlefield.  Sure there are other Rangers here tonight but we’re not from the same group and they have their own thing going.

Fnor and I have been talking about the business a bit when we can find the time and it looks like we’re going to be relocating the Dalaran offices back to Orgrimmar and Amyn will be relocating her offices to Stormwind.  Those days that we had as a “family” owned and operated cross-faction company in Dalaran are pretty much shot these days.  Fnor is worried that there might be some open hostility to the family and employees due to the fact that the majority of the employees are Horde.

Why do we have to have a land-grabbing war that is going to destroy everything we have come to take for granted.  Dalaran has always been a neutral city and now, there is some unrest and a growing bias against the Horde.  Not all Blood Elves were involved or condoned the actions taken by Garrosh in dropping that bomb on Theramore but we have to take the blame for it, regardless.  Most of us had no idea that that was what that pinhead had in mind sitting in his throne room in Orgrimmar.

Oh, fuck, guess I better find a bed to fall asleep in before I fall off of this stool and do a face plant on the floor.  Fnor would be none too pleased with his second-in-command making a public spectacle of himself up here.

I’m still not happy, however, the pain has somewhat dulled with the amount of alcohol that I have had in the last couple of hours.  I’m still lonely.

Fnar Dawnglory



Women Are Just Weird

December 7th

Dear Journal,

I know that it seems almost silly to be sitting here this morning, feeling the sun beating down on my skin as I just stare at my plants growing here in Halfhill but it feels good.  Just feels like it’s something that I want to do for the moment.  I guess a little break from the usual stuff isn’t going to hurt anything or get anyone killed either.

I really enjoyed the time that I spent in Dalaran with the family, however, I am starting to feel more comfortable here in Panderia than any place that I have ever been.  Maybe it’s because I feel like I fit in here and people aren’t as quick to judge me due to my heritage, if they even really notice.  This is a new land, new ideas are abounding and new ideals as to how things should be are becoming greatly influenced by the Panderian, which is a good thing in my mind.

Life is just too short to go around and trying to burn through places as fast as you can to see what is on the other side.  I am just enjoying being able to take my time, follow the orders that are given to me and then, my time is my own.  If I want to go fishing or even just sit in the dirt watching plants grow is something that I want to do, I can do that.

I really enjoyed spending that time with Josie in Dalaran.  I do wish that it could have been a longer span of time, however, I understand that part of that was my fault.  I was too concerned about causing her trouble because of how Harrier acted whenever he ran into me.  I was always afraid that his animosity towards me might influence him as to how he treated Josie.  Now, I don’t give a rap about that, she’s as much said that she is just working there and that he’s just being a jerk.  She can handle that part of it and it wasn’t through anything that I said or did.

I did talk with Kae when I got back and told her that I had seen Josie when I was home and she just flicked her ears and smiled a bit.  She really hasn’t said a whole lot to me since then although she still seems friendly enough, however, she has taken to sleeping in another cot rather than in the big bed that we have here at the farm.  I had already told her about Josie when we first got together and that didn’t seem to make a difference to her at that point, wonder what’s happened to shift that all around and make things awkward.  Kae and I are still friends, I hope, we still have all of our duty assignments together and she still hugs me like she used too, she’s just not sharing the bed. Women are just weird I guess.  I’m not mated to either Josie or Kae, I’m still the same person that I was before, just being friendly with other people, shouldn’t make a difference, should it?

I think that I will have to sit down and talk with Kae tonight when she gets home from wherever she went today at dawn.  Who knows, maybe she’s got a liaison with another fellow, which wouldn’t be all that bad, I suppose.  No, I’ve never slept with her, although I do think that the temptation has been building up more and more when we bed down for the night.  She didn’t even clean up the kitchen when she left this morning, which is kind of odd, she’s always done it before. I checked the stables this morning too and all of her stuff is still there, the mounts, the pets and the few odds and ends of tack that she and I had been working on together.  Maybe she just needed some time alone.

I ought to feel comfortable in talking with her about Josie, wouldn’t you think?  I mean, it’s not like I can go out and talk to the other guys about it because they all think I’m a bit strange anyway, with my heritage, and the fact that Kae and I have been living together all of these weeks. 

Maybe if I get a chance to get my Dad off by himself and away from his usual contingent of Rangers here in Halfhill, I can talk to him about it.  I don’t know why I am so worried about it, we’re just friends, right?

I have a gut feeling that I have gotten myself into a mess that I hadn’t counted on.  I know that Kae seemed a bit uptight last night when I had her try on the vest that I am trying to make for Josie as present. I also asked her to mail a letter for me to Josie because she was going to go to the Inn for a little while to talk to some of the other girls, she said.

Oh well, guess I ought to stop beating myself up and get busy here, seems like the crops are just begging to be harvested and I can’t get my mind off of these women.





Meeting An Old Friend…Kind Of Makes You Smile

((When you keep hearing a song dancing through your head, there must be a reason for it – hence, a new character is being introduced – the song is “Walking On Sunshine” ))


December 7th

Dear Journal,

Well, if it hasn’t turned out to be one of those crazy days that you just kind of have to sit back wherever you are and smile.  Yep, it’s truly a small small world we live in these days, here in Darnassus, anyway.  I actually stumbled upon someone that I had known in Gilneas – I thought everyone and everything that I had known back in those days had gone down to the waste bin and bless and behold…I saw Son. 

No, he’s not my son, he’s a fellow that had two parents that were none too bright in the naming of their children but he was one of my best mates and closest friends back home.  Yep, Sonshine McBride was standing there under the big tree in Darnassus. Yep, another hunter friend of mine that I wouldn’t mind reconnecting with again.

Miss Fitzgerald and I had gone out and done some running around and hunting for a bit this morning, just for the joy of it, if nothing else.  The weather is changing and we could even feel the crispness in the air here in Darnassus.  I will have to admit that she not only is attractive in her human form, her wolf form is also dazzling.  I will admit for the first time that I feel almost remotely happy with my lot in life, even if it means that I have to be a wolf for part of the time.

Anyway, we got back to Darnassus and I saw this strapping fellow standing with the group under the tree talking.  I thought I recognized him, however, I thought I had best attend to Miss Fitzpatrick and make sure that she got back to her home okay and if the fellow was still down here by the mailboxes, I’d definitely give him a look over and talk to him for a bit to see if he was whom I thought he was.

Yep, it was Sonshine and he was and is just as bewildered as I am about all of the changes in our lives, however, he has one of those personalities that never stays down long and always seems to find the positive in something that most would be wallowing about in the negative side of it for months.  He was standing there, big strapping fellow with those piercing blue eyes that used to catch all of the ladies attention back home.

We wandered over to the local tavern and decided to talk about a few things.  He is as bewildered as I am about this new change in our lives, however, he has some real positive thoughts about it too.  He kind of likes the idea of being able to go “wolf” and track his prey a lot easier then.  I think he actually enjoys that part of it more than I do.   No, I don’t think that he is one of those Alpha fellows, just another fellow like myself.  He was saddened to hear about my family loses and said that he wished that he had been that lucky in some ways too, apparently, his aged Mother didn’t get the Curse, but he had managed to get her out of Gilneas and into Darnassus.  She was always a trial back home, however, Son tells me that she is expecting him to take care of her like his Dad did back in the day – no, I don’t mean it that way, I mean, keep a roof over her head and let her live out her last remaining days in the style that she would like to be accustomed too.  Seems he found a place for her to live in Stormwind, with a bunch of other old ladies and he goes there frequently to make sure that she is okay as well as sending her some gold now and again.

I know that we sat there for what seemed hours swapping tales back and forth about our new times here with the elves.  It seems like we should have run into one another before now but I guess today was the day for it according to the way things work out with Elune.  By the Light, it was good talking with him and I think that he and I may partner up and do some work together.  He always was the better tracker of the group we used to hunt with and I know that when he goes wolf, it’s got to be something to behold.

At least most of the people that I have met in Darnassus that are of the same ilk seem to be finally settling in and seem to be nice.  I told Son about Felicity and he was rather excited for me and would like to meet her sometime in the near future.  I’m sure that she will like him too but I’m not stupid enough to open myself up to the competition that might evolve under the circumstances though.  We’re good friends and we have always had that male rule of “don’t mess with another fellow’s woman” ingrained in us when we were just humans.

I don’t know why meeting an old friend has made me so happy.  It’s really kind of stupid to be so deliriously happy about something as small as that.  I think that what has made me the happiest is the fact that I am starting to find people that I knew back at home.  Maybe there is still some hope that my wife and my daughters might still turn up, who knows?

Well, I need to get busy here and try to see what Son has in mind for the next few days.  Maybe we can take a run through Darkshore and see if we can still hunt like we used too. Damn, he just makes me smile being around him, he always has such a great positive outlook on things and, believe me, I need that kind of influence in my life.


Life As A Goblin MIght See It

December 7th,


Well, I will have to admit that the life here in Orgrimmar is okay but it sure isn’t home for me nor my sister and my Uncle.  We seem to have gotten the short end of the stick from ol’ Garrosh and he’s got us all lumped together in the slums.  I mean, Khazan wasn’t any great guns or anything but we all didn’t live in the slums.  Some of us had nice little houses with all of the facilities inside that you need.

Now, my island home is no more and I live in the slums of Orgrimmar in a tiny one person Quonset hut with my pet crab Pinchey.  My Uncle Zednick doesn’t live too far away from the local tavern and my sister Zippie lives on the other side of the slums, closer to the where the Trolls are staying in this town.  It all seems rather odd that we arrive here expecting a warm welcome and got the “Oh, you’re another burden to add to the population speech” from the Warchief.  Oh, I guess we are beggars and shouldn’t be that choosy, however, one would think that the Orc would have been more grateful for our money making and engineering skills.

I did decide to take up the arms of a hunter, they don’t need another hairdresser in this town with all of the Blood Elves running around getting their hair and nails done every few hours. 

I guess that I should introduce myself to start off with, so you will think I’m polite and a little educated. My sister is an Attorney-at-law-in-training, which means she’s real smart and told me that I had to go to the library and pick up some books and start getting smart too.  So, we don’t sound like regular goblins, we sound more sophisticated – even if there are a bunch of mooks running around in this town that wouldn’t notice how we talk if there wasn’t some money involved.  Oh, my name is Dooddah Prattfall, my big sister is Zippie Prattfall and then, well, there’s Uncle Zednick, who falls into the old fashioned category of goblins.  He’s  a mage and an engineer, so it doesn’t really matter how he sounds when he talks unless he’s talking money or engineering.  He’s the magical one of the group.  I guess he was too small to be one of the brawlers.

Anyway, I suppose living in the slums ain’t so bad when you consider that we would have gotten cooked by the lava from the volcanoes if we had decided to stay on the island.  Yeah, sure, we helped out that Thrall dude with all of his problems on the island with the Alliance, however, we thought we would have gotten more of a warm welcome and something better than here’s the key to the city, a lousy robe and here’s where you’ll be working from that Orc fellow.  You’d have thought with how hard we worked for Thrall that we might have had a better place to live.

I kept hearing all of the others talking about this Faire thing and thought I would take a day off and go down there to see what it was all about.  Even if I really didn’t have the extra gold to spare, it was nice getting away from Orgrimmar for a little while and seeing some different things.  Oh yeah, all of those guys down there rig those games so that you’ll spend more money to play them…that much I figured out.  They really need to do something with that canon thing that you can get shot out of at a target in the water off the beach though, my ears are still ringing, because it took me five tries to get the prize, which was another stinking ticket that you can only use at the Faire.

I had fun and enjoyed the food, met a few people while I was down there and a big ol’ Tauren kept stepping on me when we were in line for some of the games – guess he couldn’t see past his belly and see this little green woman standing in front of him.

It was fun though.  Pinchey and I did some fishing while we were there so we are going to have some nice fresh fish for dinner tonight.  I ran into my boss when I got back to Orgrimmar and he wasn’t too upset that I didn’t come in today because a bunch of us must have had the same idea to cut out and go to the Faire.  I thought it was kind of cheap of him not to pay us for the day but I think that’s how they grease the gears around here.  I did tell him that I had felt sick and thought he should pay me for the time off, however, he just cuffed me upside the head and told me to get better or I wouldn’t get paid for the work tomorrow if I didn’t show up.

Oh, I’m sure that Zippie will give me a lecture on my work ethics and how I should put earning money ahead of having some fun.  She will then send me a bill for her “advice” on how I should be living.  Well, I guess it’s all about money and all about how much you can make off some of these idiots. 

Uncle Zednick had invented a drip less mug for those guys at the tavern and had several of them on order – made a lot of money.  The joke was that the reason that the mugs didn’t “drip” was because they didn’t have a bottom – the booze just poured right through but they didn’t drip.  I know that bartender is still looking for Zednick but Zed has his money and has taken a powder for a few days until it blows over.

Oh, well, better start cooking some of these fish and get ready for bed.  I wish I had brought another pair of pajamas with me from home, these red and white stripes make me look fat.