Getting Back TO Being More Than A Mother and A Wife


January 24th

Dear Journal,

Well, I guess that the trip to Feathermoon was worthwhile, after all, I wanted to get back into the action and see what others were seeing in the world right now.  It was foolish of me to even speculate that I would get sent to Panderia, which will be my goal for the future.

Of course, I know that my Sindorei will not be pleased with the fact that I have taken the boys to my parents for a while with the promises that I will be returning to see them every few days.  I couldn’t just sit in Shattrath, mending socks, cleaning house and just waiting for his return.  He had said that he would not get another long leave until Summer – that is a long time away, months away.  I love my home and my children and I love my husband more than life itself, however, I’m not good at waiting with nothing to occupy my mind or my body.  I needed something more out of life than to just be the good wife and stay home. Of course, I think the thing that is bothering me the most is that my husband and my son are both out there in harm’s way while I was just sitting in Shattrath with the two youngest boys.

Of course, the house in Shattrath is locked up, the house in Nagrand is finally finished and I had started moving things over there.  That’s when it hit me the hardest – I was trying to make it a home when some of the important parts were missing.  My mate wasn’t there and the house, even though it is beautiful and has everything a Sindorei could ever want to have – mine wasn’t there to enjoy it with me.

So, I’m off to do my duty in Mount Hyjal and eventually I will be able to join my Sindorei in Panderia. I am very excited about joining the other Sentinels there.  At least it isn’t that far away from Darnassus and I can make frequent trips to see my family – my two youngest sons and my parents. 

I did write a letter to Fnor to let him know what I was doing and I am sure that there is going to be a loud explosion from a very angry Sindorei in Panderia.  He always tells me that he works so hard for things to keep the children safe and to make sure that “we” as a family have everything that we want or need.  I know he loves us, however, there is more to life out there than just having things – there is adventure, there is danger and just taking part in the things that are currently going on in the world means something.  I have never been one to sit on my hands and do nothing.

Yes, yes, I do run the business out of Stormwind, however, Maggie has done a marvelous job in keeping things running when I have been unable to go there for days.  Which I need to stop there today to go through the contracts and see what I have to disburse to the other employees.  I should explain that Maggie is Romey’s sister – Romey had some other things she wanted to do for a while because she felt like I do – being stuck in a rut is not a good thing if it makes you unhappy.

I hope Fnor isn’t too angry with me, he just has to understand that I couldn’t just stay home for however long this war is going on.  I need to find my way to him in Panderia, I just have too.

 

Amyn

Not So Quiet Afterall


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.

 

January 22nd

Dear Journal,

Well, so much for a peaceful night in Halfhill last night.  I had decided that I would just come over to the farm and spend the night for no other reason than I needed to get out of my tent for a while.  That smell of damp canvas can get to be a bit overwhelming with the amount of rain that we have been experiencing of late.  The Wilds always seem to have more the way of humidity as is, add the rain, the constant squish of mud underfoot – yes, I needed a change a little bit of privacy to relax.

I also needed to get back here to check on Pan. He had torn a footpad and after getting it bandaged up,  I could tell that paw was still very tender.  Not to mention, the constant muck and mud that we’ve been living in during the last few weeks can’t be all that good for a wound.  He was very happy to see me tonight and you could almost see a smile plastered on his face when I walked in the door.  Of course, when he rears up on his hind feet, his forelegs are on my shoulders and we’re eye-to eye. Of course, having a cat this large give you a welcoming kiss/lick is quite the face washer because it really does cover most of your face.   Oh we had quite the reunion, I don’t think that I have left him alone like this for years and he was definitely feeling that loneliness since he didn’t have any of his stable mates there with him.  He will always be my favorite companion and always my trusted animal.  Yeah, we’ve been together for quite a few years and I think that we both feel the years some days. Oh, I know that when I head back to camp that he will be coming with me – Old Hillpaw was kind enough to check on him for me and actually has been feeding him a bit too.  I suspect Hillpaw has earned a friend for life too because I can tell that Pan has brushed quite a bit and his coat is absolutely glowing, not to mention, I’m sure that he was fed some very good meat.

After my warm “kitty welcome” I did strip down to just a pair of soft boots and trousers and hung my armor up on the rack in the bedroom.  I had to laugh when I looked at the bedroom or I should say my closet – it is definitely very tiny, not to mention the single bed looks kind of sad when I think about the bed that I share with my wife in Shattrath.  Oh well, I’ll probably be enlarging the house a bit here in the near future because I think my darling Kaldorei is getting a bit antsy to get into the action up here in Panderia.

One thing about it, I’ll probably end up resigning my commission or just taking off when Amyn does come up here.  Can’t say that my troops would be all too keen to follow a Commander that is sleeping with the enemy, so to speak.  I know that I have been kind of putting things on the back burner for a while since I got back but I am going to start diligently trying to get out of this military thing – I know that I would be considered a traitor by some people for have a Kaldorei wife and then add the kids, I’d be a definite problem. I came to Panderia because I was ordered here from Silvermoon and as a member of the Horde, I have to follow that order even if I don’t like it or believe in that Orc in Orgrimmar.

I’m getting as bad as Kal about my little farm.  I slip away and come here every chance that I get.  It’s the only place that I feel comfortable and can just let down my guard for a while – I don’t have to answer to anyone here other than myself and I can do whatever in the heck I want.  I will have to admit that being back in the service does kind of curtail a few of the freedoms that I have taken for granted during the last few years.  I miss running my businesses with my wife and being able to take the time to enjoy things like I used too. 

The farm is coming along nicely and I will have to say that I’ve done a pretty good job with it considering that I haven’t ever been “one with the land” like some of the people that have started farms here in the Valley.    I did walk out my front door and stood there on the porch admiring my handy work when it sounded like all hell had broken lose down at the market.

Naturally, I was curious as to what was going on, so, I walked down the lane to the market to check it out.  Great!  This is usually a quiet and fairly neutral area where the Horde and the Alliance will tolerate one another and just jostle each other now and again.  Unfortunately, it looks like a few people have been enjoying too much of the local alcohol and decided to start a battle right in the market.   There I stood at the edge of the lane and just watched the mayhem that was going on and I will have to admit that I didn’t even feel compelled in the slightest to take part in it.  I did glance around to make sure that my son wasn’t involved in the debacle because I didn’t want him to get hurt either.  I guess this means I’m getting old or I’m just tired of the whole thing.

I walked back to the farm and got some bandages to give out to some of the healers that had shown up there at the last and returned to the market.  It was a mess and a lot of people were needlessly injured and I wonder how they are going to report this back to their various commanders and leaders?  “Well, you see, Sir, I was buying some vegetables at the market and a war broke out.”  I didn’t recognize anyone from my command taking part in this mess either and I hope to hell that none of them were involved because I have no problem handing out disciplinary action for people just being stupid.

Let’s just say that I was too wired to go to sleep right away last night and sat on the porch looking at the moonlight and smoking a cigarette or two.  Yeah, I know, it’s bad for me and Amyn would like for me to quit the filthy habit, however, it’s the one thing that seems to relax me more than drinking does.  The moonlight was beautiful and I did see the lights on at my son’s house, not that far away.  I wonder if he ever met up with the girl from Stormwind over the holidays, sure didn’t look all that promising when he left and I haven’t heard anything from him since then either.  I was sorely tempted to walk over there, however, with all of the people that were here in town last night, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea.

So, this morning, I’m sitting here on the porch with Pan, writing in my journal, drinking some coffee and fighting with myself about going back to the command post today or not.  The way I am feeling this morning, I may just cool my heels here in Halfhill today and look over some of the contracts that I got from Dawnglory.  I’m already too late to do the morning briefing, however, there was nothing out of the ordinary that my subordinates couldn’t handle.

I know that the desertion rate is way up with a lot of the commanders complaining about it right now.  Can’t say that I blame the people for taking off, however, it does seem like the number is increasing with each passing week.  I know that I have several that I have put on report as “missing” for the moment and will do everything I can to locate them and bring them back before they are reported as deserters.

Damn, I wish Amyn was here, I miss her more and more as each day passes without seeing her.  I am still trying to see if there is some way that I can slip out of here before Summer for a few hours to spend some time with her and the boys – this is no way to have to live without seeing them liked I used too.  I got spoiled before the war, I could see them every single day if I wanted too.  Now, I have to wait for someone buffoon’s permission to leave Panderia for any extended amount of time.  Damn this war!

Fnor Morningstar

 

Just Lonely


January 20th

Yo Book!

I’m still perplexed and still a little tender from my last run in with Faendra in Orgrimmar, however, I feel kind of relieved emotionally. I guess that I really did screw things up with her but I’m not so sure that it is all my fault either because I never told her I loved her, not once or even hinted at it, and I am absolutely fucking sure that I didn’t ask her to marry me.  Maybe there is something wrong with me in that way, I’m not real damned sure.

I care about her and I wish that there was more in the way of feelings there.  She’s beautiful and very tantalizing to any male, however, my feelings are that deep – maybe they will be some day, maybe not. However, I need to make sure that she and I can still at least be friends.  I don’t think I mislead her or lied to her in any way other than the fact that I pursued her like any man would, maybe, she made the mistake in thinking that I was the marrying kind at this point in my life. She has to understand that when I say that I care about her a great deal – that means that she is in the category with my sister, Fnor and some other people.  I care about what happens to them, however, that doesn’t mean that I want to spend the rest of my life with them though.

I think a big part of my problem right now is Panderia.  I find myself spending a great deal of time alone when I’m not out on patrol or in camp.  I don’t really talk to anyone other than Fnor and maybe a few people in passing.  Maybe I am just fucking lonely?  I even think that my libido has taken a hiatus on me too – I just don’t have that feeling right now for anything.   Maybe I’ll just start becoming more of a hermit than I already am because it sure does seem a lot safer that way – I don’t get my heart broken, I don’t hurt anyone and it’s just me and my cat.  Maybe that’s what it is supposed to be like.

I think that I have fallen in love with the Jade Forest.  Anytime I have any free time and I’m not at Fnor’s farm, I’m in the Jade Forest.  there are some beautiful spots there and I can hunt and fish to my heart’s content.  I do run into people down there now and again, however, they don’t seem to be all that sociable either, which is probably a good thing sometimes.  I’m not sure how I could handle listening to someone’s life story if I only said hello to them.

I’ve found some people birds down here and I have been doing some sketches of them when the mood strikes me.  I know that the Panderian think that I am probably just another one of those Blood Elves or something but I don’t really care.  Just give me a sketch book, a nice rock to sit on and I’m happy just doing my drawings, even if they are a pain when I start getting crazy with detail.  My poetry is definitely not working like it used too – I have no muse to inspire me in that area.

I think going off like I do right now reminds me of when I would sneak away to Nagrand and camp for days on one of the floating island.  I know that if anyone chanced upon me they thought I was some kind of nut job – sitting there in my drawers with a sketch pad on my lap.  I definitely can’t get that relaxed here in Panderia because something could come popping out of the brush and take a bite out of my ass if I’m not prepared.

Oh well, I’ll try to write to Faendra and see if the letter gets returned or if she will even respond to it.  I’m voting on the last choice because she was pretty upset with me.  Fnor told me not to worry about it and he was kind of shocked at her reaction when I was in Orgrimmar too.  He is of the same opinion that I may have stopped by at the wrong time or something.

I did find the letter that I had written to her right after the riots in my bags.  I thought I mailed the damned thing but maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t because it may have “mislead” her some more and she would really be upset now.

Well, I suppose I ought to get busy and do something today, I’ve been sitting here acting like some kind lump and haven’t gotten anything done today at all.  I have those contracts that I can fill and ship the hides back to Orgrimmar, I don’t have to take them myself, that’s for damned sure.

I really think I’m just lonely.

Fnar Dawnglory

Women Are Vicious!!


*Some very salty language here, so be aware that he’s in a rant.”

 

January 16th

Now Book!!

You’ve got to understand that I was just going back to Orgrimmar to check on things – to see how Faendra was doing and to check on how the business was going.  That’s all I was going for, just to make sure that things were as they should be.

Talk about getting pushed into a fucking corner!!   I guess that Fae was more upset with me than I thought she was about not getting a marriage proposal and a ring for the holidays.  My face still hurts and I will have to admit that my crotch isn’t feeling all that great either – the girl has some boney fucking knees.  All I said was “hello” and winked at her and she cold-cocked me in the face and when I went to grab my face, she kneed me in the balls.  I guess that means she’s okay, right?

I tried to talk to her and all she would do was to glare at me with her lips drawn in a line that was not making them look like they were all that kissable.  Damn, she hits hard – I even had stars in my eyes, not from just getting my face slapped but the other part about my damaged manhood made my teeth even hurt.

I walked out of the office and took off down the street to the nearest tavern so that I wouldn’t open my mouth and possibly put my own feet in it.  I almost told her off but I guess I had this coming even if I don’t think I really did.  Yes, I care about her and yes, I want to take her to bed but there was never any mention of us getting married.  She dreamed that up on her fucking own, I just kind of played along with it.

I know that I stayed at the tavern a lot longer than I had planned because I was just listening to some of the conversations going on.  Seems like I’m not the only one having issues with women these days.  Maybe you get a free drink if you can say something bad about the woman that you’re with.  I don’t know, there were quite a few of us sitting in there and just bitching about women and how damned contrary they could be.  I had a few chuckles about a couple of the fellows that seemed to be almost in the same boat as I am – they were trying to get in some woman’s pants and all she was talking about was marriage.  They just wanted to get laid, they didn’t want the house and the picket fence in Silvermoon either.

I know I was a bit on the drunk side of things when I got back to the office and Faendra wasn’t there when I first got back.  At least I had a moment to look over a few of the contracts and took a few that I knew that Fnor and I could deal with in Panderia ourselves – they weren’t real pressing but would fit in to our schedules fairly well.

Well, the princess comes walking into the fucking office, starts telling me what a horrible man I am and that I mislead her and that I owed her an apology.  I did kind of apologize and told her that I thought that she was over-reacting to things and maybe she should take some time away from Orgrimmar and go chase some of the fellows in Silvermoon.  Well, my face got slapped again.

Damn it!  This is not how the fuck this was supposed to go. I had planned on talking to her and making sure that she was okay and I had brought her back some boots that I had made in Panderia for her.   And I even bought some fucking flowers.  Well, the flowers went in the trash on my way back to the portal and the boots went up at the Auction House. 

I do care about her but I don’t think that I care that much enough to give up my freedom especially when she’s screaming at me like some bleeding harpy and calling me every name that she could think of when there were other employees in the office.

Well, maybe she was just having a bad day and I happened to set her off for some reason.  I don’t know, however, I do intend to talk to Fnor about how she acted and get his opinion on what in the fuck I’m supposed to do now.   No, I don’t intend on asking her to marry me right now, however, there could have been a potential for that to happen somewhere in the future.  Right now, I think that the rioters were lucky they didn’t come into the warehouse because she would have kicked their asses and any of the guards that followed them in would have gotten the same damned treatment.

I’ve never seen this side of her before, she’s always been kind, gentle and fun to be with, not this trash-filthy-fuckin’ mouthed-bitch that I ran into today.  Part of me kind of liked it but the other part was already heading down the street.  Damned redhead!!

I’ll figure something out – maybe I should just let her cool off for a while before I go back to Orgrimmar again, which will probably be in a week to ten days.  I am also going to let her brother know that if she hits me like that again and tries to damage my junk again, I might have to retaliate.   I can’t hardly sit down right now and let’s just say that the equipment is going to take a vacation for a few days.  Damn, I can’t go to a healer and have them know that some girl kicked me there.

Well, at least I can take the day off today and do some fishing or maybe just find a nice cold stream to sit in for a while.   Women are just fucking vicious and I still don’t know what I did other than not to ask her to marry me, which wasn’t even remotely on my mind at this point.

Fnar

I Need A Change


January 15th

Dear Journal,

My Sindorei is back in Panderia and I am sitting here in Shattrath while the boys are in school.  The house seems empty after the holidays and even emptier since my husband left.  He has a way of just making  the house a lot more lively.  No, I’m not talking about the bedroom, I’m talking about the fact that he is always doing something – working on his armor, talking a mile a minute to while away the time.

We had so much fun at the Faire even though I knew that he would be heading back to Panderia later on that night.  The children had a wonderful time and Fnor makes a wonderful step-Father to them.  A part of me realizes that the time that he spends with the two youngest boys is almost because he is trying to make up for the time that he missed with the older boys.  I know I can almost see it in his eyes when he’s talking with the little ones that he wished that they were Kal and Vashlan.  Of course, the little guys don’t think anything about it, they just enjoy having with those moments when he’s home.

Now comes the lonely times again.  I know that I am sitting here and hoping that he will be able to come home again in the near future even though there is a war going on.  It seems like each time he comes home that it is harder for me to let him go back and it’s harder for him to go.   I know the last war was the one that we thought would end all of this nonsense, however, it didn’t.  We had a few years there where the world didn’t seem to be in constant turmoil. There had been some semblance of peace and we could lead different lives.

When my Sindorei and I first met, it was a time of war.  When our first child was conceived and born, it was a time of war although it was waning and did not affect the area that we had chosen to live in Outland.  Shattrath seemed like such a larger city back then, not crowded like it is now with the refugees from Dalaran that have flocked here. Now, it is a bit overcrowded and people seem to be in various stages of hysteria of things that they have seen or heard about.  It’s not dull by any means.

One thing that I have noticed in the last few weeks is that there seem to be more people like my Sindorei and myself.  Blood Elves and Kaldorei living together openly, so, there shouldn’t be any danger to the family here.  We thought pretty much the same thing when we were living in Dalaran, however, there isn’t a Jaina Proudmore living here, I don’t think anyone of mental ilk would even be allowed to come here and cause the trouble she did in Dalaran.  Damned insane human!

I wish my parents had moved with us to Shattrath.  I miss them and miss having them near me so that they could keep an eye on the two youngest boys once in a while.  I don’t mind the domestic grind that I have gotten myself into during the last few years, however, I do miss doing the things that I loved.  I loved being a Sentinel and , in my heart and mind, I am still that same person.  I just have more baggage now than I did back then.  I may take the boys to Dolonaar in the very near future and have them stay with my parents so that I can go back to Feathermoon and become something more than what I am at the moment.

If my husband and my eldest son can go off to war and fight for what they believe in, I can do the same.  I don’t want to spend my entire life just staying behind and raising children.  I want to see the things that they have seen, no matter how horrible that could have been, I want to see the world that has changed so much in the last few months.  I want to stand by my son’s side on his farm, I want to visit my husband and not have to wait until he can get leave and slip away to come home.  I don’t like being here away from the things that are happening.

I think that I am just in a bad mood or something today because normally these things don’t bother me. I think I need to start looking at things differently and do something about it instead of sitting here and being frustrated.  Alone again and I miss my husband.

Amyn

Now What?


January 14th

Dear Journal,

Well, I will have to admit that I did have a good time with the family and everyone seemed to enjoy the gifts that I brought back to Panderia.  However, I still have one gift in my possession that is still wrapped and will remain so until the person it was intended for comes to claim it.

It was truly with a heavy heart that I came back to Panderia because there seemed to be so much unfinished business that I didn’t get a chance to deal with.  I don’t know what happened to Josie, however, I never did hear from her while I was on leave.  Maybe she really didn’t want to see me, after all? I know that I really wanted to see her and talk with her.  Maybe I’m just being stupid by trying to hold onto a relationship that seems to be almost invisible to everyone except for me.

Maybe I should just mail her gift to her and hope that she gets it?  It’s just a pair of boots that I made for her, which took a lot of time and energy.  I’m not even sure that they will fit her because I had to guess at the size. The jade necklace and earrings will be okay for her though, I’m sure that she will like those.

I even left Shattrath a day early so I could hang out in Stormwind and try to see if I could see her and that didn’t even work.  The shop was busy and I didn’t even see her inside.  It made me feel like some kind of weird stalker, just lingering out there on the street and looking in the windows.  I didn’t go in because I didn’t want anyone else to know that I was there other than Josie. 

I don’t know what to do.  Should I just give up on my feelings for her and just get on with my life?  It’s hard to think that my feelings weren’t reciprocated because I felt like they were.  Maybe something happened to her and she’s somewhere where she can’t write or something?

I just know that I have to quit moping around about this because I know that Kae is getting tired of me talking about it all of the time.  She even told me to shut up the other night, which she has never done to me before.  I’m sure that she finds it annoying to constantly hear about my feelings towards another woman, however, she is the only one I have to talk to about it.

I guess Dad is back from Shattrath because I saw the lights on at his little house across the fields.  Maybe one of these days I will get a chance to talk to him about this stuff and he can give me some ideas as to how I should handle it.  It’s not like he lives that far away, however, I am sure that someone would notice us talking together unless we do it in the middle of the night like we did the last time.  I’ll just have to bide m time and see what happens.

It was nice getting back Panderia.  The farm is really flourishing and Kae did a great job in keeping up with things here while I was with my family.  I wonder why she didn’t go back to Darnassus and Dolonaar to see her family for a few days?  I know she had the leave time but she says she just stayed here on the farm. Heck, I wonder why she even stays with me sometimes because I’m no prize.  I’m sure that she gets some flak from some of the other people in our unit because of the fact that I’m not a full blooded Kaldorei, however, if she does, she doesn’t pay attention to it.

Well, it’s time for me to get back to work and go to the briefing and find out what our assignments are for the day.  I hope it’s one of those uneventful patrols where we just go out and see where the Horde is setting up camps again.

I know that I have to get my feelings under control so that I don’t have my mind on other things and get myself killed for being stupid. I’m too old to be moping around like this about a woman, she’s not the only girl that I have been with before, however, she may not have the same feelings that I do and it hurts me more than it is helping.  I need to get focused on my job, that’s why I’m here.

Kal

 

 

Oh, Those Days of Wine and Roses…Back To Work


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.

January 13th

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I am extremely depressed this morning as I sit here and write in this journal because I am back in Panderia and my family is in Shattrath.  At least I hope that Amyn and the boys will be safe there and will be able to have some kind of normal life without the stresses encroaching on them too much from this war.  I want them to be safe and happy even if I am not able to join them for a long time, unless I can make other arrangements, I won’t be home until Summer.

Faendra has decided that she will be staying in Orgrimmar because she feels that the work will keep her mind occupied and she won’t have to think about other things, like what is going on in Panderia with her boyfriend and, I hope, with her brother.  She was adamant in the fact that she wasn’t going to let the dangers of living in Orgrimmar to force her out, she has already been forced out of the one home that she love in Dalaran and she won’t let it happen again.  I guess she came by that red hair honestly because she was actually furious with me for even suggesting that she move back to Silvermoon.  Not that I blame her that much because I know how Silvermoon can be sometimes and it isn’t all that pleasant.  To be honest, I think one of her reasons for staying in Orgrimmar is that she knows that Dawnglory will be making frequent trips to the city and she is in hopes that she can try to repair or continue on with the relationship that she feels like that they have.  She’s being very stubborn about this whole thing and there is nothing that I can say or do to make her understand that she could be in for a broken heart if she pursues him too hard.

I did take Amyn and the younger boys to the Faire last night before I had to come back to Panderia.  It was fun and to watch those two scamps run amuck and just have fun like all children should have made Amyn and I feel happy for them, at least for now.  I swear that they can get into more trouble in a short amount of time without really trying to do it.   I asked Amyn if Kal and Vash were like these two and she just started laughing and told me that they were even worse because they felt like they had to prove themselves all of the time.  I don’t think they had the canon at the Faire back then, however, these two little guys know how to work it where they only have to use one ticket and they both get shot out at the same time – scary as anything I have ever seen on a battlefield.

Apparently, one will make the ticket attendant pay attention to them by asking all kinds of ridiculous questions and the other one will slip up behind the attendant and get into the canon.  I wonder if they either thought about the fact that the one sneaking around might get stuck in the canon with a Tauren?  Oh, that could be painful and not to mention, a full grown Tauren can pack a mean punch when they are angered. Amyn and I caught them doing this and paid the attendant for the “free” ride that they were getting out of it and I think Amyn took them behind the tent and did more than talk to them because they were looking rather shamefaced and were rubbing their backsides when they came back.

I know that we both laughed until we cried and some of their antics and fishing them out of the water after their canon rides was just part of it.  We all took a turn on the merry-go-round with the two little guys fighting over the murloc to see which one would get to ride it first.  Of course, this was causing a scene and Amyn yanked them off the ride until they could behave like civilized people and not little street urchins.  Of course, while she was disciplining them, I hopped on the murloc and rode it around too because it’s my favorite mount on the ride.  Naturally, I got the crusty looks of the boys and the stern look from my wife for not setting a good example. Hey!! I’m not going into my second childhood, I never got out of the first one yet and that ride is fun.

We actually spent a lot of time just walking around and watching the people at the Faire.  I know that I saw quite a few Panderian there last night which was really kind of refreshing.  Actually, I saw quite a few families there last night.  You could always tell the soldiers there with their families because they looked like they were having a good time, while their laughter seemed a bit hollow because they had their minds on the things going on in Panderia.  I hope my laughter didn’t sound quite that bad because I was genuinely having a great time with the kids and my wife.

Of course, Amyn and I walked around and got our fortunes told and we’ve decided that with the news the Fortune Teller told us that we are going to step up the tea taking quite a bit.  Not that I wouldn’t mind having more children, however, now is not the time to bring a new life into a world that is so unsettled. 

I know that Amyn and I both blushed red as can be when the Fortune Teller said that we were going to be welcoming a new member into the family because we had taken some liberties while the boys were eating to slip off into a side tent and took some private pleasures with one another.  See, even parents like a quickie now and again.  I’ll admit that it made me feel like a young kid again, going after his forbidden fruit, and I know that Amyn enjoyed it as much as I did.

I don’t know how those kids can eat so much of that fried food but they sure can pack it in.  Amyn and I both laughed at them when we were heading back to Shattrath because they were complaining about how much their stomachs hurt.  Oh, we ate our fill of the greasy fare because it does taste wonderful in that atmosphere.

We walked around holding hands as openly at the Faire as we once did in Dalaran.  Of course, we got some odd looks from a few people and only had one drunken fellow try to make a scene, however, his friends hauled him off and away from us after they apologized for his behavior.  I think that one of them may have actually been one of the fellows under my command in Panderia.  I hope that this incident doesn’t cause problems when I get back to Panderia.

I will have to admit that we had to have looked like a family there especially with me carrying the youngest one around on my shoulders so that he wouldn’t wander off and get lost.  He reminds me a lot of Vashlan because he will get so distracted from things that he will often times just get lost from the rest of the family.  Of course, Amyn and I have discussed the fact that maybe there might be something to this High Elf business on both sides of the family, however, it would be a bit awkward to have two mages in the family. We’ll have to wait and see how things go as the kid grows up, he does have a great aptitude with a bow though, maybe he’s just a little dreamer too, that can happen.  Look at Dawnglory, he writes poetry and draws but that hasn’t stopped him from being one fine Ranger.

We actually stayed at the Faire until they shot off the final fireworks, listened to the music and started watching the lights closing down on the fairway.  I know the two boys were worn out and Amyn was actually a bit tired too.  So, hopefully, they will get to come to the Faire while I’m away, I did tell Amyn that I thought it was good for them to get away from Shattrath once in a while.

We made our way back to Shattrath and got the two boys put into their beds after making them at least wash up a little bit.  Of course, I couldn’t separate them from some of their prizes that they had won, even though they were a bit sticky and dirty.  I’m sure that Amyn will make sure that that gets taken care of today after I’m gone.

I had packed all of my belongings that I was taking back to Panderia before we left for the Faire because I didn’t want to be pressed for time when we got home.  Amyn and I wanted some time alone to spend as husband and wife.  Yes, we made some passionate love for a while and just lay there holding one another.  She didn’t want me to leave and I didn’t want to go but we both knew what would happen if I didn’t show up when my leave was over.  No, she wouldn’t want me to go to prison for being a deserter either.  I was able to slip out of the house without waking her up because I didn’t want to see her eyes filled with tears and I didn’t want to say “good-bye” – I know there is always a chance that I might not ever be back but I don’t want to see the pain in her eyes when I leave.

I’ll admit that I didn’t even stop at the command center for very long when I got back, just signed in and told the young fellow at the desk that I was heading over to Halfhill to unpack some of my stuff and check on the farm, however, I would be back for the briefing this morning.

I will have to admit that coming back to Panderia in the pre-dawn hours was almost mind boggling.  The skies seem so clear, the air so much fresher than anything I have ever felt.  Yes, it was cold and the kite ride was exhilarating in its usual way, however, I had time to sit there and just take in the beauty of this land.   No wonder my son has just fallen in love with the place and will probably want to settle here when the war is over.  Can’t say that I blame him and part of me is sorely tempted to do the same.

I’m just sitting here and reflecting back over some of the things that have happened with Amyn and I.  We’ve had some beautiful children together and the romance hasn’t seemed to have dissipated as far as I am concerned.  She always gets that little girl look on her face when I bring her those white roses that she loves and a bottle of wine – it’s not always a thing for sex.  Sometimes, I just bring her the things to watch her smile.   Oh, those days of wine and roses, long before we ever had children – those were days that I will cherish for the rest of my life – we had such freedom back then.

I know that Dawnglory asked me once if I ever regretted mating and finally marrying Amyn and I had to tell him without blinking an eye that I thought it was probably the best thing I ever did in my life.  He just looked at me a little bit perplexed and shook his head as he smiled.  I don’t know if he believed me or not but it’s how I feel.  I don’t regret anything concerning Amyn and the boys – they are why I fight.

Yes, they are why I fight.  My wife may be a member of the other faction and my sons may be half-breeds, however, I fight so that there might someday be peace for both factions and we can have something to live for. 

Well, time to slide back into my armor and head back to the camp.  I still have the majority of this day off but I’ll be using that to get caught up with the paperwork that I am sure is on my desk there.  I wonder what kind of adventures have been happening while I was gone?

Fnor Morningstar