Ouch! I’m Stupid Sometimes…

February 2nd

Damn Book!!

Okay, I’ll admit that I had fun getting Fnor drunk and he agreed with everything I said about his relationship with Amyn. About damned time he recognized the fact that I do observe things and my opinions can be right now and then.

Of course, I should have just left things alone when he staggered off to the farm but I went back to the Inn in Halfhill and decided to have a few more drinks and maybe do a little bit of flirting – there were some nice looking women in there or maybe it was just the booze.  It does tend to make one’s judgment be a bit off and what you thought was a beautiful when you were loaded will usually turn out to be something real scary when you’re sober the next day.  Been there and done that …well, a few times.

Oh, I think that I would have been okay with the drinking and flirting, however, a few of us decided that it would be great fun to have a yak race.  Yeah, I know it was fucking stupid, however, it seemed like a great idea at the time and the gold was going to be fairly plentiful for the winner.  We even had one of the local Panderian hold the gold for the bets.  After a few more drinks, we decided that we just had to get the yaks together.  I should have known better because we had a terrible time herding the yaks off that farmer’s land and there definitely wasn’t any tack to be used – just bareback and leaning down and pulling the horns.  It was a stupid idea.

Of course, as drunk as we were, there were six of us involved in the debacle, we should have just fallen off the yaks in the market and called it good. The race was supposed to be from the market to the brewery and back.  In a sober mind, it wouldn’t have been a bad thing, even adding the darkness of night, it shouldn’t have been a bad thing at all. 

I guess it was quite a disturbance to the town at that hour in the morning to hear the yelling and screaming and I know it awakened quite a few people from a peaceful slumber. 

The race started, I was definitely in the lead there for a few seconds.  I know that I always thought that hawk striders were literally a pain in the ass when it came to riding, however, that was before I ever rode a yak.  Mine seemed to be the bull of the group, stupid me, and definitely had his own way of thinking about what was a good pace, when to stop and turn.

Let’s just say that I am very much in debt to the Panderian that was able to finally stop the beast before I ended up in that pit at the silk farm.  I am also in debt to several farmers for the fields that I went through and I probably owe a few virmen an apology for stomping through that cave – don’t know how I got down there.  The race did not end well with most of us being thrown off and some poor bastard is probably at the coast by now because we never could catch that yak. I know it’s going to take several days for me to get all of the vegetable debris out of my armor…and my hair.  It was dark – there were only a couple of fences that I remember charging through.

So, I’m sitting at the command post this morning, my ass feels like I’ve been ridden like some prostitute in Silvermoon that decided she could service a full battalion in one night.  I’ve got one black eye, a bruised ass and some real dents to my ego.  I’m also getting that silly laugh from Fnor as he keeps asking “What were you thinking?” before he continues to write the letter to the Mayor of Halfhill.  I guess I should just be fucking happy that I didn’t get arrested, as it is, I’m on report and will have to stay in camp for a few days doing some pretty damned menial shit.  Unfortunately, since I was the one that most of the people recognized, the bills are still coming in.

Yes, I’m supposed to be an officer and gentleman, however, you should get some time off from that sort of thing just to do some crazy shit. 

It wasn’t my idea to have a yak race, or maybe it was, I was too drunk to know how it all started but it was fun while it lasted.  We had a couple of casualties that broke a leg and an arm, however, that shouldn’t be laid on my doorstep either.  I guess because I was the “ranking” officer present, I was supposed to stop it – they weren’t all from my command either.

Hey, a fellow has to do what a fellow has to do, right?  I know that I should have just gone to the farm with Fnor when he left the Inn that night but I didn’t want to hear anymore of his whining about his Kaldorei taking off on him.  My thought was to have a few drinks, possibly get laid, and head back to the camp to sleep off my drunken stupor.  I think that I should have stuck with my original plan.

Oh well, guess I had better get busy polishing all of the boots and cleaning the stack of armor outside of the tent.  Well, I’m too high level of an officer to get the detail of cleaning out the latrine pits.  No, I have to sit on this stupid stool in front of my tent and clean all of this armor.  I think they even brought in some Alliance gear for me to clean too.  Let’s just say that I may not leave camp again until sometime next week except to go on patrol and then I have to come back and clean more armor.

Naturally, Fnor had to write a letter of reprimand and put that in my files for future disciplinary action.  Asshole, he didn’t need to do that, we could have kept it quiet but I guess the people didn’t appreciate a bunch of drunken Sindorei running through their fields, clotheslines and knocking down outhouses too well.  I’m not sure if any of us actually crossed the finished line but we sure did knock down a few stalls at the market.

Well, I have to get back to work.  At least I don’t have to deliver the armor back to the owners myself.  I know one Paladin would definitely be getting the Wrath of Dawnglory on his head for using a full set of dress armor to go out raiding in – so many little nooks and crannies on that armor, not to mention all of the polishing.   Dumb ass!!

I don’t think that I will ever ride another yak, drunk or sober.  I sure as hell don’t think that I will ever get that drunk again for a while – all I remember is stars, mud, water and screaming things in the night.  Guess I was pretty fucking drunk.



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