*If you’re easily offended by swearing and blunt language, please read this at your own risk – this fellow is known for not having a good social buffer going*
Yo Damnit Book!!
Well, I’ve never owned any real estate in my life before and it feels fucking awesome. However, now I have to worry about the fucking protocol of the neighborhood? I think fucking not!! If they don’t like what they see when I’m on my farm, then don’t fucking look! Right!!
Okay, I’ll admit that I had been drinking the night before all of this happened and just stayed at the farm. It’s not much right now but it will be some day. It’s also close to the Inn where I can go socialize with people now and again. Maybe get lucky and get laid if that’s what I feel like.
Anyway, my house isn’t really that great, the roof leaks, it’s full of shit, however, I can just kick the shit out of way and lay down with my blanket and Dawn, just be as fucking comfortable as I want to be without it costing any extra money to spend the night in the Inn.
I always sleep in the nude, doesn’t matter where I am most of the time. A fellow has got to air his junk out every now and again or you might get some strange fungus going in this heat. Of course, I take a bath most every day if there is enough water around where I don’t have to worry about getting shot in the ass by someone or get mauled by something. Found a great place to bathe over by the Jade Temple, however, that can be a bit of a trek sometimes. Good place to go wash up, do laundry and fish in the buff while my laundry is drying spread out on the rocks. One quick stop to get a lot of stuff done. Of course, I do want keep an eye out in case someone else has decided to come over to my little paradise while I’m there.
Well, I guess I shocked Fnor’s son the other morning by waltzing out of my house in the raw, built a fire and was cooking some breakfast and brewing some coffee before I got dressed. I just waved at him and yelled a greeting. I thought he was just shocked that I had gotten the piece of land between his Dad’s place and his. I was kind of surprised that his jaw dropped wide enough to where you could have seen his tonsils if I was close enough to him.
Guess it was all of my golden body hair and Blood Elf manliness that got his nose out of joint. Yeah, he’s got some girl living with him and yeah, it might have been too tempting for her to see me out there like that or something. However, he didn’t have to go tell his Daddy, the little pussy.
Well, not so little, he’s like seven feet tall and that’s short for a Night Elf, however, that could be because he’s a mixed breed. I really don’t think the girl would have been embarrassed by what she saw with the way that she works out the fields with those big eyes of hers almost completely uncovered and that ass, hmm, well, yeah, love that ass. Hmm, I’ve seen her looking over this way a couple of times, I’m not a fool, she liked what she saw because she smiled and waved.
I’ve been with a Kaldorei woman a couple of times. Damn, those long legs and those boobs right where you can bury your head in them and just turn each way to give them a nibble. Oh, damn, gotta stop thinking like that or I’ll have to go find something to relieve the tension. No, I wouldn’t mind having a go with Kal’s roommate, yeah right, roommate. I’ll believe that when I see a Paladin shacking up with a warlock. If he hasn’t hit that yet, he’s a fool.
Anyway, Fnor had a talk with me at the command post. I almost started laughing because we’ve been friends for a real long time and I can’t say that he has ever blushed as red when he was talking to me before. He just told me that Kal was upset that I was wandering around my farm with all my junk hanging out. Hell, Fnor is one to talk, I know that he’s sitting around in his house naked as a new baby because I’ve walked in on him a few times and he had to grab a robe. I know that I was just shocked first and then I got a bit miffed. Okay, we had a talk and I told him that I would at least put on my skivvies before I went outside to cook in the morning even if I thought it was stupid as shit. Fnor needs to teach his kid about the “Bros befo Ho’s” rule that men have.
Yes, I understand that I am living in a strange land and their ideas of what is correct may not be the same as a Sindorei, however, I think it’s a bit much when you’re standing around on your own property and you can’t do what you want. However, to keep the peace with Fnor and his son, I’ll do it. I don’t think it’s right.
I’m loving my farm. Yeah, we talked about the fact that it isn’t too cool for me to be doing carpentry work on the place in the middle of the night because I was probably waking up the entire village with my hammering and occasional swearing when I misjudged the swing of the hammer and smashed the shit out of my thumb. It’s kind of hard to do that sort of thing in the dark anyway. Some day my farm will be something to be proud of. Well, I’m already proud of it, it’s the very first thing I’ve ever had of my own and I’m not a kid. I’ve always lived off the land, stayed in an Inn or lived with Fnor and his family. Man, I bet my sister Felessa will be shocked when she comes to Panderia to visit.
I really miss seeing her as much as I did when we all lived in Dalaran together and she was getting her training there. Now, I have to make a special trip to see her in Silvermoon. What a pain in the ass that is. It’s not as easy to get there as it is to get to Orgrimmar sometimes. Hell, I even miss seeing Faendra every day.
Oh well, it’s time for me to head out and do some Ranger shit and earn my keep and I hope I get to go back to the farm early enough to get some stuff done today. Maybe I’ll just stay there this coming weekend and see if I can get that fence fixed. Maybe I’ll put up a real tall fence just in case, then, they’d have to hang over the fence to see what I’m doing. At least the outhouse seems to be pretty solid, although I’ll be happy when I can get some indoor plumbing in the house – it gets a bit brisk having to trot out there sometimes. I’d like to get the place nice enough to where I can invite people over sometime. Yeah, a bed would be a nice thing, maybe I can appropriate a cot from the camp, I’m sure they wouldn’t miss it.