Farming In Panderia…and Inquiries From Silvermoon

*Some swearing and very blunt language per usual for this character — if you’re easily offended by this sort of thing, please don’t read it.*






February 19th

Fuck Book!!

I don’t know what in the hell is going on.  Fnor got back from his little rendezvous with Amyn and I’ll even admit that it probably did a world of good for him to get laid, however, he seems a bit sad at being back here in Panderia.  I guess that’s understandable, I mean, he’s away from the woman that he loves and he’s away from his children – that would make most married guys a bit sad, I suppose.

What is pulling my tail right now is the fact that this kid in Silvermoon keeps making inquiries about me.  He is asking for my whereabouts and all that shit! Of course, the Rangers aren’t going to give out that information when I’m here in Panderia on duty.  They don’t give that sort of shit out, however, if this kid had enough gold jingling in his fucking pockets, he could find out. 

I’ve started making some fucking inquiries of my own.  His name is Hanllan Darkstrider and he was born in Silvermoon.  Big fucking whoop on that score alone.  Parents are unknown, there are several families in Silvermoon with that family name and it would be a pain in the ass to try to figure out which one he belonged too.  The name sounds real familiar to me, however, we have a few of those folks up here in Panderia, seems like a fairly common surname of no real value in Silvermoon.  Damn it, this is going to make me fucking nuts until I find out what it is he is actually looking for.  I suppose I could cool my heels on the matter for a few months because he is a recruit with the Rangers and will find his happy ass up here where I am.  However, between the name and the way that he keeps pursuing the information on me has me kind of curious as to who in the hell he might be.

Who knows, he’s probably somebody’s bastard kid that is searching for a person to latch onto for whatever reason.  Well, he can’t latch on to me because I’m not gonna let that shit happen.  His age alone puts me in Silvermoon around that time and I did have a few women while I was there but if any of them got pregnant by me, they’d have a hard time proving it.  I mean, at that point, there were a lot of Rangers in the city and all you had to do was look at a woman and they dropped down and spread their legs for you. Oh yeah, those were the days.

Yes, I did have one girl that I slept with more than once.  More like once a day for several weeks before I got reassigned. I can’t remember her name but I do remember those hours we spent making love.  Oh, we made love wherever we could, she supposedly came from some family with money and that was okay by me as long as she was a willing participant with what we were doing.  I’ll admit that I had some feelings for her, however, I wasn’t going to get “that” involved with anyone back then – there was a war going on and I didn’t have time to have some female and kids following me around.  Besides there were so many women that were willing to meet a fellow’s needs.  I’m sure that I wasn’t the only fellow she slept with even if she always told me that I was the only one.

Women always tell you that you’re the only one even if there is a line forming at the door.  You’re the only one as long as your money holds out and your looks are still there.

Fnor was the one that would have been ready to settle down back then, I think, if the right woman had happened to have nailed him at the right time.  He’s always been one to want to have a family of his own.  He’s older than me and I guess that was how that generation was raised.  Get married, push out a few kids and call it good.  Increase the Sindorei gene pool with more kids to go out, get married and push out some more kids.  Of course, that was before we got sent to the Barrens where he met Amyn. The rest is history.

Well, at least I finally got the fucking door to stay closed on the house at Halfhill.  Had to replace the hinges and the latch – there aren’t any fucking locks in Panderia, I guess. I’m spending more time on the farm now, I was able to pass off some of my duties to my subordinates like I should have been doing all along.  Now, they can get a taste of how it feels to have the responsibilities of some of these damned recruits.  Oh, I do my share, however, I want to spend more time on the farm when I can.

Farm! Weeds, man-sized killing attack weeds.  Nobody told me about these fucking things.  Oh yeah, I heard about the virmen that like to hide in the dirt and leap out and try to rip your nuts off, however, the Attack Weeds were a fucking surprise.  I told Fnor about it and he busted a gut laughing until he got tears in his eyes. I had one literally pick me up the other day and started banging my head into the ground until I saw stars.  Luckily for me, Dawn was doing his job and helped me get out of that mess.  It’s bad enough that you have to go up into the hills and fight the Hozen that like to steal your pants and try to “ook you in the dooker” when they get the chance.  Now, I have Attack Weeds!  I know that when I have to go up there, I always have on two pairs of skivvies on to protect my “dooker” from being penetrated.

Well, I think I’ll give myself a treat this morning and trot up to the Inn for breakfast and maybe get a good start to the day.  I’m sure that Fnor has already had his, so, Dawn and I will go up there and see what there is to see and take off for some fishing.  Veggies are great but a fellow needs some protein in his diet to keep things working the way that they should.  Oh, I suppose I ought to see if anyone else has named their farms too, I’d like to name mine Plantation – just to make it sound bigger than it really is.

Fnar Dawnglory

Master of Plantation

Halfhill, Panderia

2 thoughts on “Farming In Panderia…and Inquiries From Silvermoon

    • Oh yeah, he can find absurdity in things that most of us will just pass over – loves his farm, hates the Killer Weeds. Oh yeah, it’s going to be interesting when those two meet in the next few weeks. Thanks for reading and commenting – it’s really appreciated.

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