Is Farming The Life For Me?


*Language is a bit harsh – don’t read this if you’re easily offended – especially if you don’t like F bombs*

February 27th

Yo Book!

Not a whole lot going on except the I think I need to get someone to help me on the farm.  Wonder if Kal would mind lending out that Sentinel of his?  No, only kidding, I think I might end up looking like Sindorei pin cushion chocked full of arrows if I even attempted that one. She’d probably shoot me before he did, or that’s the impression I’m getting, although, she does wave and smile at me when I see her out in the fields.

I’ve talked to several of these furry Pandas and they all insist that you have to be best friends with them before they will even consider working on the farm with me.  Well, shit!! I have several buddies but no real “Best Friends” yet, however, I am going to be doing some major ass kissing here in the next few days.  I can’t afford to blow off my duties to get this farm to where it should be.  Damn it!! Okay, I agreed to help this Dude out with his farm, however, I didn’t plan on it being a full fucking-time job on top of everything else.

Dawn and I are both getting fed up with the rain in Halfhill.  If I wanted rain, I’d stay at the main camp where it seems like that is all it does.  If we didn’t leave every now and then,  I bet we’d all be moldy and our armor would be just some tarnished mess of rust.  I am sick of rain – sit in your tent and even your skivvies feel like their wet.  Go to the farm to escape the camp, noise, dirt and constant bitching – you get rain dropping down on your head when you throw your blanket down in the house to catch some sleep. 

Okay, I fixed the door with the hinges and that seems to working okay for the time being providing that shit doesn’t rust too.  Okay, go out to use the outhouse, book in hand because I might want to take longer than a standing piss which I can do anywhere I choose.  Sitting on the seat and reading away – I heard a noise and let’s just say the pucker process got shut down big time.  Was it a snake?  Was it an animal that had somehow fallen in – maybe one of those giant Rabbit things.  Oh hell no!! It’s a virmen stuck in there and trying to jump up and grab my junk to pull himself out – I’m fucking happy his aim was off.

Now, I have to rebuild the outhouse.  I guess I kind of lost my temper and had some firebombs in my pack left over from my last patrol that I didn’t use – let’s be honest, I used the bombs to blow the fish out of the water when I’m in a hurry to get fish.   Let’s just say I overestimated how many to drop down there.  I thought that one might not be enough to kill the little bastard, so, three should do the trick.  I got stupid and dropped the bombs in the hole, slammed the door and propped up against it to hold it shut.  Well, me and the fucking door ended up out in the middle of the yard and there was nothing left of the outhouse except for a smoldering hole and some shattered wood.

Let’s just say, I have to clean my armor because the bomb blew out more than just that damned vermin.  It wasn’t bad enough that I blew up my outhouse, it was the fact that Fnor was walking up the path to my farm and he was just standing there with his mouth open and his ears standing straight up until he started laughing.  Of course, he’s laughing so hard that he can’t even speak – just laughing.  I guess that the noise was pretty loud because pretty soon there was a small crowd gathered there – no one even asked me if I was fucking okay, they were all just standing there laughing at me trying to get up from under the almost whole door.  It’s kind of a half door now, I have no clue where the other half went although I think some of it kind of blew up the road a bit further – there was an angry looking Panderian standing there looking at me.

Let’s just say that my day at the farm has started pretty shitty – literally.  That damned farmer keeps telling me he’s a “city paw” – well, do I look like I pack my boots with fertilizer to make me taller?  I’m beginning to wonder if this farming shit is all it’s cracked up to be. Man-eating Weeds!! Vermin that try to rip off your manhood without any warning or provocation by hiding in the dirt and leaping out at you when you’re trying to gather your crops.

I know I was pissed off with everyone just staring and laughing at me, so, I thought I would just go in the house to get out of sight and maybe they would leave.  I guess Fnor finally stopped laughing long enough to get everyone to leave.  He finally did ask me if I was okay and I told him that yeah, I’d survive.  Then he tells me that I need a bath.

Called my mount in and all she would do is snort and back away from me.  Not a good day for Dawnglory!!  I went back in the house threw all of the crap-covered armor in a bag there and went back out to the mount and she would finally let me mount her.  So, now, I’m sitting by the Jade Temple, staring at the bag of shit-covered armor, washing my clothes or trying too before I start on my armor.

Nope, don’t think I’ll get  a whole lot done at the farm today. Now, I have to dig another hole and build another outhouse, plus, see if I can get some thatching for my roof.  Farming – how in the hell do these people do this without going just bug-shit crazy?

Fnar Dawnglory

 

 

2 thoughts on “Is Farming The Life For Me?

    • ROTFLMAO – Well, at least one of your characters got to “actually” see him OOC/IC, so, you have a visual to help out abit. Yeah, all of that blone hair and all of that “crap”. He’s really not my comic relief most of the time but that’s how my brain was operating today.

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