A Death Knight Starts Adventuring in Panderia

March 9th

Dear Journal,

Okay, I’m a Death Knight – okay, we cleared that crap up straight away.  I didn’t start out that way but things happened that were beyond my control and from my own stupidity.  There, I admitted it, it’s no one’s fault that I am a walking, however, very attractive corpse.  I had to start out that way because I’m furious!  Some ignorant lout thought I was one of those “fun times” that he could enjoy – no, and he’s out there in the forest pushing up daisies or feeding some animal at the moment – damned fool should know better than to grab a Death Knight.

I guess I shouldn’t start my journal out like that today since I haven’t written in forever.  Okay, it’s been a long time at least.

We got our butts booted out of Dalaran because some crazy human wench decided that all Blood Elves were bad news.  I could have told her there were a lot of bad humans, I suppose but I wouldn’t be sitting here writing in my journal, I’d be locked up in some cage somewhere or maybe really dead.

Luckily, my big brother decided that things were getting a bit too dicey in Dalaran and we all needed to immigrate to Shattrath.  I guess that’s the new safe haven for Blood Elves unless you count Silvermoon and I can’t guarantee how safe that place is either.  What a cesspool that place can be.

Okay, I went to Shattrath like a good little sister and I thought I was going to lose what is left of my mind.  I was fortunate that I had most of my memories still intact and the family has helped me to fill in the gaps here and there.  Shattrath is full of whining Blood Elves…I can’t stand whining any things.  I’ve lived in Shattrath for a short time earlier in my unlife and always thought it was a bit odd – it hasn’t changed.  Nauru trying to poke around in your head when you least expect it – I think I gave one an x-rated view one night – well, nosey thing didn’t need to know that I had those kind of urges once in a blue moon.

I know about Theramore.  No, I’m dead, just not buried under a rock somewhere.  When my brother and his son talked incessantly about Panderia, I’ll admit that I was intrigued.   I hadn’t seen Fnor since we had left Dalaran, so, I was really interested in what he was doing because he went back to the Rangers and took that friend of his with him – that Dawnglory.  Yeah, then I had to hear Faendra whining about her “lost love” until I just wanted to slap her.  Luckily, she left to go back to Orgrimmar to run the family business before I got a shot at her.

He asked me to help his Kaldorei wife take care of the property and the kids.  Oh Hell No! Ain’t gonna happen, Big Brother.  My idea of babysitting is to put the little monsters in a closet and let them out when they are grown-up.  Things were just going along at an even pace until he thought to ask me to watch the kids – the property, maybe I can do that and maybe not.  I’m used to having my freedom and I’m not in any way ready to get tied down with someone else’s responsibilities.  They’re my step-nephews anyway.

Amyn, the Kaldorei wife/mistress, got real antsy after Fnor, Dawnglory and my nephew, Kaldor left to go back to this new place called Panderia.  Oh yeah, I’ve seen the big snuggly furry things running around and they seem harmless enough.  Yes, there is a war going on, I’m not an idiot.  Well, she up and decides that she is going to shut everything down here in Shattrath and even the new house in Nagrand and takes off to join up with the Sentinels.

Nope, I wasn’t going to stay in Shattrath and have to park my butt at the Inn every night.  I can only kill so many animals to feed my Rune Blade and to be honest, I don’t think it was too thrilled with that either.

So, off I went to Orgrimmar, swore my allegiance to the Horde…AGAIN! Got put on a flying ship that took my happy butt to Panderia. 

Now, I don’t mind sailing and I don’t mind flying, however, the combination of those two was a bit hard on my brainpan.  Now, when they told us to jump off a perfectly good flying ship over a battlefield, I thought that I wasn’t the only one that had a few damaged brain cells, however, I don’t think they gave me much choice because the ship was going to crash.  Burn with a crashing ship or go kill some Alliance nitwits that got in my way?  Oh, that didn’t take a goblin engineer to figure out which choice I was going to take.  Have you ever tried to parachute down from a burning ship in full plate armor?  Not even remotely fun when it feels like every tooth left in your head got jarred when you hit the ground.

Fighting was something that I get my mind into and I did just that.  Almost stomped a couple of Orcs until they started yelling at me.  Well, I was letting my “true” nature run the body.  I don’t think I’ve had this much fun since the Lich King bought the big one. Finally made it to the little village that I was told to head for and it was nice to put my axe down for a while.

Yep, I’m in Panderia.  The Rangers landed and took off like they had a fire up their bum and the ones of us that are not as swift of foot have to slog our way through this mess.  I like the country, the Panderian seem to be nice enough with all of the bowing, scrapping and smiling.

Okay, we’re here to take the country over before the Alliance do it.  I can get that, however, these people didn’t ask us to come here, we just kind of barged in.  Sure, I swore my allegiance to the Horde and all that, however, some of this is just stupid. I will have to admit that old Garrosh was kind shocked when I winked at him in Orgrimmar  – not that it meant anything – eww, he’s butt ugly even for an Orc.

Well, time to clean off my armor so the stench doesn’t make me throw up and make people think that I am one of those rapidly deteriorating Death Knights.  I hope to catch up with my brother and his Rangers here in the near future, however, I have to follow orders – well, damn, I could move faster if they’d just let me be myself.



2 thoughts on “A Death Knight Starts Adventuring in Panderia

  1. ROTFL! OMG !! This made my day. I had forgotten how sassy Fel was, and I can just imagine the shock on Garrosh’s face when she winked at him..my Dk Lily,would have been tempted to shove her runeblade up his ass,then tell him to sit and spin. I loved this post, can’t wait to read more about her adventures .

    • Oh, she’s always had a mouth on her and since she became a DK, she really does what she wants – it isn’t going to kill her. She’s at least capable of maintaining a certain amount of decorum, unlike a certain blonde Blood Elf that we know. Thanks for reading and commenting – you’re actually one of the few.

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