A New Beginning ….

February 12th,

Dear Journal,

I did finally talk to Kal about all of the things that I have done and his only response was a slight frown and to tell me that he knew that I was spying on him and that he had known it all along.  I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to say.  How did he know?

I was so shocked that I did something that I don’t ordinarily do.  I cried. The next thing I know he is holding me in his arms and brushing the back of my head with his hand and telling me that it was okay, he understood.   When I looked up at him, he was actually smiling and almost looked like he was happy about my disclosures.

I am completely confused with this man.  If he were a woman, he might have tried to rip my head off and we would have had a confrontation that would have been more than a little bit heated.  No, not Kal, he just forgave me and thanked me for finally telling him what he already knew.

We sat on the grass by the temple and talked some more.  He told me that by my telling him the truth, finally,  told him that he could trust me now.  He had a certain amount of trust in our friendship and relationship to start with, however, there was always this nagging little doubt that had lingered in his mind.  I can understand how he might have felt that way, however, I thought that I had covered my tracks better than to have let him have any idea that I was spying.

He told me that he knew the moment that he boarded the ship in Stormwind for Panderia that he was going to be watched because of his heritage.  If the manpower hadn’t been needed for the war, he might have even been killed.  Oh, he had taken all of the precautions that he could take – hats to cover his shorter ears, special lenses that made his eyes look more Kaldorei although they really did hurt to wear them – he lost those the first day he was in Panderia, anyway.  He said that the lenses really didn’t help his vision and when the first one dropped out of his eye during the aerial combat, he had to take out the other one so he could at least see his targets.

I know that when I was injured and he carried me to the village in his arms, the first thing I noticed were his eyes, the green highlights showing in his eyes were a giveaway as to what he really was. He was so tender and caring with the wounds that I had, even after the healers had attended to me that I thought that this was a person that I should stick with.  Not that I needed to be handled like that, he just made things easier for me. He had been injured too, however, he seemed to take his injuries in stride when we moved on. 

I know that we have been almost inseparable since then.  When our commanders noticed the friendship between the two of us, they wanted me to watch him closely to make sure that his heritage didn’t make him more likely to go traitor on us.  I was supposed to report any strange activity and I did.  He didn’t really do anything strange enough to where they thought he should be killed or anything.  I didn’t really mention that he knew how to speak Orcish a little bit.

With all of the problems that we have had lately.  The way some of the people in our camp treat him is almost heartbreaking and I blamed myself for a lot of it.  I felt guilty for spying on him and I felt guilty about the fact that I blurted out that we weren’t sleeping together and that he was seeing a Worgen, even if I wasn’t real sure about the Worgen part.

At least we both know where we stand in the eye of our comrades now.  We’re expendable, that’s why we get sent out the way that we have in the last couple of weeks.  Of course, the women giggle at me for not having taken him to my bed and the men laugh at him for not taking other women to his bed.  We’re the odd ones in the camp.

At least now that he knows what I’ve been doing, I can relax more with him and he with me.  I know that we actually stayed longer at the Jade Temple doing our laundry and talking than we had intended.   I know that he kept reaching over and touching my hand periodically and finally he did something that I have been wanting him to do since the first day that I met him.  He kissed me, he really kissed me.

When we got back to the farm in Halfhill, it was very late, the village was fairly much asleep except for the few drunken rowdies that were staggering around the Inn.  We saw the candles lit at his Father’s house, which meant that his Dad was there and probably reading or writing letters like Kal says he does all of the time.  We went to our farm and starting putting our things away and Kal just walked up and held me in his arms and kissed the top of my head.

I wonder if he could tell that I was happy about this new “man” that I had in my life. He has always been nice and we have always been friendly, however, he has never acted like he thought of me more than a friend.  Tonight was probably one of the happiest nights of my life even though nothing happened other than the kisses, it is a start.

Normally we sleep in separate beds and tonight was no different other than he told me to come lay down next to him for a while, which I did. I thought that he was going to try to take our relationship to another level, instead he just lay there with me in his arms and fell asleep.  I can deal with that.  We have all the time in the world to see how this all works out.

I’m actually happy and I can’t help but smile as I sit here at the table with the candle glowing in the darkness as I write.  I can look up and see Kal sleeping like I’ve seen him sleeping a hundred times before, however, tonight it feels different.   It’s a new beginning, I can feel that more than anything. Maybe there will be more to it than what there has been in the past, however, I do know now that he cares about me and how I feel.  I think we’re both afraid of where this might lead us, however, we have to follow the path that Elune has chosen for us.


2 thoughts on “A New Beginning ….

  1. YAY!!!! hang on to her ,Kal.. hang on tight with both hands.! That was so beautiful, I’m glad Kal is seeing Kae as a beautiful self assured woman, is more than a match for him.. He needs someone who will love him for him, not be put off by his heritage.

  2. Why, thank you. Kal may have been angry at first, however, he knew what was going on and he didn’t blame Kae for any of it. He isn’t sure where this road will take them but he’s willing to go with Kae – I think he cares more for her than he even realizes. Kae is ecstatically happy with the way things are going right now.

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