About Damned Time…

*More salty language and blunt talk as per usual – if you’re sensitive to that sort of thing, please don’t read it.*

March 13th

Yo Book!!

Fnor and I went to the Jade Temple to do some fishing, swimming and our laundry, however, we did take along some food to nibble on and some brandy.  I should have known fucking better but I hadn’t really eaten a whole lot, so, I got drunk and fell asleep.  Fuck me! Almost empty stomach and booze don’t even remotely mix. I got most of my laundry done before I passed out.

The good news is that I am laying here in my bed at the farm.  Yep, did a whole lot of fucking ass-kissing, flirting and bribing with gifts, finally got my house furnished.  I guess that this one girl Pandaren here in Halfhill can be pretty much swayed to make friends with you if you keep bringing her gifts.  You know she is kind of cute for a furry, a bit on the chunky side but they are all kind of big that way.  Guess if you do all that plowing and stuff, you have to have some weight behind it.  I guess my gifts and constant flirting kind of turned her head a bit – so, now I have a house full of furniture that she decided to give me and she even cleaned it.  What more can a man ask for?  She even fed me some lunch.   I think I could have gotten laid if I had pursued it further but these women scare the living shit out of me.

So, now that’s one more thing off the list from the Tiller’s Council.  She even cleaned up the yard a little bit, however, the curtains in the outhouse may not last for long.  I like my double door and I haven’t seen any signs of any virmen trying to get through the ground and into the pit again, however, if it happens again – I’ll only use one bomb because I don’t want to have to rebuild the damned thing again.  It must have amused quite a few people because I’ve caught some of them whispering and laughing when I am in the market. 

Naturally, I’ve been on a roll making friends – seems like if you make friends with one of these people, you start getting more friends.  I think they all get around and talk about you and then, decide that they are going to “allow” you to be their friend if you work your ass off for them.  It seems that I have made friends with the town drunk.  Go figure!  Naturally, the drunk would want to be my friend and trust me, the bastard puts a whole new meaning to the phrase “Drinks like a fish” – makes me laugh because he is a fish.  His name is Jogu and if you can get past the slurring, he has some good ideas for farming, which I have followed on occasion.

I did make it to Orgrimmar for a little while and business is booming.  Fnor is even more fucking filthy rich than he was before the war and I don’t even think he is aware of it because he’s been busy here in Panderia worrying about his family and this fucking worthless war.

I did see Faendra while I was there and she acted like nothing ever happened.  She was all over me from the minute that I walked in the door of the office after I finished inspecting the stock in the warehouse.  Women are fucking schizoid!  As horny as I am right now, it was real tempting not to take her upstairs to the apartment and bang her brains out, however, that might not have been a good idea considering who she is and all.  We even went out to dinner together and I’ll admit that her company, not to mention talking to her was real pleasant – too bad we have that history.   I did promise to write to her and come to Orgrimmar a bit more to see her. She is still just as attractive as ever and I’ll admit that flaming red hair turns me on something fierce.   Damn it, why the fuck does she have to be Fnor’s baby sister?  If I did anything with her, there would be consequences, I’m sure.

Why the hell is Orgrimmar so fucking crowded these days?  I wish to hell they’d ship some of these Orc bastards to Panderia to take the load off of some of us that have been up there forever.  I did see a few Sindorei wandering around, however, didn’t see any that I recognized, however, I did see a group of raw Ranger recruits just kind of standing around in their armor, all shiny, clean and “new” fresh out of Silvermoon.  I wonder if that kid that has been asking about me in Silvermoon was among them?  I’ll find out when I get back to camp because I know that some of them were being shipped out to us in the next few days.

Oh, I had a letter from my sister in Silvermoon, which reminds me, I’ll have to take a fucking trip there to find out what in the hell is going on.  Seems she has found “someone” special that is a Ranger and won’t I be pleased.  No, I won’t fucking be pleased!  I guess his name is Jaxom or something like that.  I didn’t read her whole letter because it was all Jaxom does this and Jaxom does that which made me feel like I wanted to hurl.  He better not be shagging her because he won’t ever make it to Panderia.  I’ll have to find out what his family name is so I can do some checking around on him to make sure he’s not some little gold digger. I’m going to have to go to Silvermoon and check this dude out, she kept saying that he looked like “Fnor”…black hair and all that.  Wouldn’t that be a kick in the ass if he had a kid running around that he doesn’t know about?

Man, this bed is huge and very comfortable.  It’s big enough to where I could chase a couple of women around in it and still have room for a visitor or two.  No, haven’t invited anyone home yet.  Yep, I now officially have a home of my own. I wouldn’t mind chasing that Sentinel around this bed a few times however, I think Fnor’s kid might get a bit pissed about that.  There’s just something about those long legs and those…big…eyes of hers that brightens up my day when I see her out there in the fields. I guess they must be home again, saw her out by the irrigation pond with barely anything on again. Damn her, really had some trouble after that visual.

This little farm is my first real “home” since Felessa and I left the orphanage in Shattrath. Well, I can’t say that because I have always managed to live close to wherever Fnor happens to be and after living with his family in Dalaran for so long, that place kind of was my home.  Nope, I’m now a proper gentleman with real estate and money in the bank to spare. Dam, it feels good!  I know that when I was talking about it at the Jade Temple, Fnor told me that Felessa and I would always have a place to live with his family, however, that’s not the fucking same.  Now, with this little place, I have something to call my own and it feels different – it’s mine.  I think he understands because he got that big grin on his face and nodded his head.

I may never have all of the money that Fnor has and I may never have a family like he does but I sure do feel like I’ve finally arrived at a point in my life to where I can feel proud of myself.  It’s about fucking time, don’t you think?

Well, being the landed gentleman that I am, I should roll my ass out of bed and get some things done around here.  Go out and check to see if there is any fresh meat roaming around the market and I don’t mean the edible kind that you cook.

Fnar Dawnglory


Halfhill, Panderia




2 thoughts on “About Damned Time…

    • Oh yeah, he’s got furniture now and thinks he’s “uptown” and he is, at least in his own mind. He’s ready to take on whatever else is thrown his direction now because he has something to fight for – his home.

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