Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author.
I think that I am just tired, or I hope that’s what it is and not old age rushing in to smack me in the forehead. It does seem like things are becoming harder for me to do than they have been in the past. Oh, I can take care of myself just fine, take down anyone that comes at me, however, that adrenalin rush is just not as high as it used to be.
One thing I am going to do is to turn some of this paperwork over to someone else. I feel like I am being buried alive with it and have no time to actually get out of the command tent and see with my own eyes what is taking place. I can’t get the true feel of what my men are going through without being there in the action myself. Oh, I know it’s the proper protocol for me to be sitting here up to my ears with papers to read and sign, however, it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have even considered putting in another request for leave, just so I can go find my wife.
So, when we start making the move out of the Wilds, I fully intend on taking up my bow and heading back out with the patrols. It may cramp some of the younger officer’s style, however, I can’t see what they are doing for myself unless I’m there. The only one that won’t mind me in his group is Dawnglory. It might even take up the action a notch or two if the old man is with the men, as it should be.
I want to feel like I am a part of things again, not some figurehead sitting behind a desk. I want to feel like I’m earning my keep, so to speak.
I did make it to the farm a couple of nights ago and I think that Kal and his Sentinel are back from wherever they have been. I noticed that they have been harvesting some of their crops that were just sitting there going to waste. I thought that Kal had people helping him out some over there too which is very unusual, he’s usually more private about his farm and likes to do it all himself with the girl’s help.
I’m still laughing at Dawnglory with the improvements that he has made to his farm. Place is really starting to look like a real business instead of the rundown thing that it was when he first took it over. Now, I know he can be charming and could probably sell tickets to funerals, however, I’ve never seen him go all out like he has here in Panderia. He could charm the ladies like there was no tomorrow and has always been a bit of a womanizer, however, he has turned all of that on trying to get his farm to be a proper place to live. He has furniture now and some girl keeps going over there and cleaning the house for him – I want to find out what he’s had to do for that. Oh, I know what you’re thinking, no, he’s not getting anything from the girl other than her cleaning skills – she’s Pandaren and he is deathly afraid of the women for some reason. Anyway, nothing would do than for me to go over and check out the improvements – he’s done an amazing job, however, the curtains in the outhouse are an overkill in my opinion and the double door. He says the double door is to allow the light to come in while you’re sitting there “reading” and for ventilation. I can grasp that concept, however, I’ve never been one to spend that much time in a latrine.
I’m happy to report that there have been zero desertions in the past ten days. That’s almost a record for our group. I guess my idea for corporal punishment put the fear in some of the first time offenders that we brought back and gave clemency. I did have one fellow that disappeared and I did send people out to find him because he was an arrogant man that felt that authority in the Rangers was just a joke. He hadn’t deserted the second time because, apparently, he may have been trying to do just that and ended up dead. One of the patrols found his remains not far from our camp, which causes me some concern because that tells me that we need to tighten up our perimeter security even more.
I know I am getting concerned about the number of men that we’re sending North after what I’ve seen here in the South. I’ve sent my reports of what I witnessed and have requested more troops. I was thinking a small company size – I got five men. Five men isn’t anywhere the thirty that I was expecting. I may end up having to take another trip back to Orgrimmar to do some more pleading for reinforcements, if there are any to be had. I know that they can’t leave us here with the numbers that we need to shift around so the Alliance won’t notice the activity.
I’m still having those dreams about Amyn. They aren’t disturbing dreams, she’s doing what any Sentinel would do in this land during wartime, however, all of the dreams seem to be centered around the Jade Forest. I’m normally not one to believe in dream predictions of what may or may not happen in life, however, the constant idea in my dreams that she is here in Panderia is almost overwhelming. A part of me wants her here and a part of me wants her to be in some safe place.
I know that if my beloved wife is here in Panderia, we will find a way to be together. I know that it’s not only my heart and my mind that are yearning to see her again, even my body is yearning for the time that I can take her in my arms again and do what any man and woman would.
Oh, my last trip to Halfhill was rather interesting because I know that Dawnglory seems to think that everyone in the country is paired up with someone other than him. I had a young woman that just kept trying to make conversation and she had definitely other intentions when she was trying to talk to me at the Inn. I’ll admit that it did soothe my male ego when she kept trying to sit even closer to me at the table while we drank. She was rather attractive in the Sindorei fashion and seemed to be rather educated. I even told her that I thought she was attractive, however, I was a married man, which only seemed to urge her own even more. What is it with some of these people? You tell them you’re married and you’re not interested and they take that as a challenge for them to pursue you even more. Oh well, it was an entertaining evening for a change. Thank the Light, I was able to diplomatically disengage her hand from my thigh and left the Inn to come back to camp. I had planned on going back to the farm, however, under the circumstances, I didn’t want the girl to know where I lived in town.
Pan actually is acting like a younger cat these days. Maybe it’s this place, he’s been cavorting around the farm like a kitten and has no trouble at all racing through the area like one possessed. I know that his coat has a sheen to it that it hasn’t in years. Maybe it’s from the food we’ve been eating, however, I am a bit astounded that he has grown quite the taste for carrots of late. He’s a carnivore, he shouldn’t like veggies, however, he will eat them on occasion and his favorite is a juicy crunchy carrot. I guess that when we go out, I’ll have to start carrying some for him. Oh, he has decided that he likes to stretch out next to the bed when I’m sleeping and sometime during the night, he crawls up next to me and the thing that wakes me up is his breathing into my ear. He hasn’t done this sort of thing in years, now, he’s turning into a cat that likes to be cuddle up when it’s chilly in the predawn hours. He is going to have to unlearn this habit again when Amyn shows up – I’m sure that she isn’t going to want to share our bed with a large feline.
Now that I have made my decision that I am not going to allow myself to be stuck at this desk all of the time, I feel better. I think this is what kills people, you get stuck in a rut of doing a job at a desk and it kills your soul. I want to get out there with my men, feel that arrow launch from my bow and see my enemies or prey drop like they have in the past. I have never been one to want to stay behind a desk and I am not going to allow it to happen to me at this late stage in my life. I’m older, yes, however, I am not some doddering old gaffer sitting in a chair until the final call – I’m going out there to see the world and not let it pass me by. There are so many places in this land that I have only read reports about, now, I am going out there to see it for myself – as I would have been doing if I hadn’t taken this command.