Learning to Live Again

March 17th

Dear Journal,

In this time in place that I find myself, my past is better forgotten.  My name is Tylanlor Ravencrest, my birthplace in my past life was Silvermoon and my rebirth was Archerus. That is correct, I am a Death Knight and was in the service of the Lich King until his initial defeat at Hope’s Chapel and then my true freedom came with his final death in Ice Crown. I serve the Horde, by choice of my past life’s birth.

My memory of my family is hazy at best, however, there are times that I have flashbacks of sorts that chill my bones and sometimes, they take on a different feeling. I’ve dreamt of walking the streets of Silvermoon as a living being, talking with people that may be long dead, by my hand or another’s.  Names, some I can think I know and then, they fly from my brain as if they were chased by demons.  They probably were chased by demons, my own inner demons because I know what I am – something that the living should avoid if I am not in control of myself. Am I afraid of this “life” that I lead?  Am I angry about the fact that my mortal life was taken from ?  No, to both questions because I have faced death many times and have come to call it a friend – I will never age, I will never know the love of a mortal woman, I will never have a family as some do. No, I am not angry – angry is a useless waste of energy and takes from the pleasure that I have in my own existence.

I may have been a Ranger at some point because I know that I long to take up a bow in my hands from time to time and I have been teased constantly for the way that I move out in the field.  I stalk before I kill..and then I kill when the time is right.  My prey usually isn’t aware of my presence unless I want them to be aware – I feed from their fear as well as their deaths. I like to hear their screams, hear their heartbeats as they know that their lives are going to end in a flurry of blades or in my icy grip. Oh, I don’t stalk animals unless you count the two-legged variety.

I kill because I must, to survive in this unlife of mine.  I must feed the Rune Blade as well as the demon that I have become.

My first real memory is awakening in Archerus, the excruciating pain, the laughter of the people that were changing me forever. If this is similar to being born on the mortal plane, I’m surprised that we’re not all insane. I remember being pulled from the table that I had been chained too and turned over to some other Death Knights for their pleasure and enjoyment – had I still had my mortal soul, I would have ended it at that point for the shame that was visited on what was left of my living flesh and mind.

Hatred, yes, I have hatred for some of my kind that roam this Azeroth because they live the old way – the way of killing anything and everything that come near.  Scourge!  I don’t feel myself at odds with the Ebon Blade, however, I do feel at odds with some of the brethren that have not given up their roots in the evil that created them.  The Lich is dead, you can no longer serve him as some mindless robot, you can now think for yourselves. You can control your urges to do that evil, if you so choose.

I think that I was fortunate that my creation was done amongst some of the very last in Archerus – that taint was not allowed to grow as deeply imbedded as I have seen with some of the older Death Knights. I can still take a certain amount of pleasure being amongst the living – I can smell the flowers and enjoy the sunlight in moderation.  No, I’m not deteriorating as some of my kind are, if I am, it is indeed a slow process and my faculties seem to be fairly well intact.

I have always been pretty much a loner until I came to Panderia and I met someone that seems to enjoy this unlife more than others.  She has taught me how to enjoy things again, to almost feel alive.  She is probably a few years younger than I am, I’ve never asked, however, she has been among the ranks of the Death Knights a while longer, not by much from what we can piece together.  She was fortunate enough to be reunited with her family and has been able to learn of her past, whereas, my past is past and I may find out whom I really am at some time. She has taught me how to laugh at our circumstances and the way that she thumbs her nose at the rest of the world has caused me to join in that laughter on more than one occasion.  We are friends, I have avoided making friends in the past, living friends will sometimes turn on a Death Knight, however, the only time I have seen this happen amongst our brethren is if they are of a different faction or if they are the rogues that have given us a bad name.

I know that I feel comfortable being around her and would rather have her fighting at my side or covering my back than anyone I have ever encountered. Feelings?  I think I have them somewhere deep in this corpse body of mine, however, time will tell if that part of me is still capable of that kind of feeling.

Oh, one thing that I do have to say is that she is a terrible cook.  I will eat the food that she prepares, I’m one of the Death Knights that rarely feels hunger for food, my hunger is for something else. Anyway, I will eat her food and tell her how wonderful it is regardless of the fact the fact that it tastes like something the carrion would fight over.

Oh well, I suppose it’s time for us to go out and kill some more Alliance.  My blade thirsts this morning.




4 thoughts on “Learning to Live Again

  1. Yeah, he’s still in development as one of my DKs, however, he seems to have his own kind of personality that is trying to force it’s way out when I write. Glad you enjoyed it.

  2. That’s one of the most vivid descriptions of a Death Knight I’ve ever read. I have RPed a DK and a partner of one, but have rarely thought about the runeblade the way you describe it. Very compelling and a little sad.

    • I had to reach back into some of the old lore in regard to the Rune Blades and what they were intended for at that time. He’s a different kind of Death Knight, not filled with the angst and anger that some portray – his anger simmers just below the surface. I’m glad that you enjoyed it and thank you for commenting.

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