Getting Used To The Changes

March 21st

Dear Journal,

A part of me wishes that I hadn’t told Kal everything and a part of me is so relieved that I am almost beside myself with happiness.  I know that it lifted the guilt from my shoulders that I had been carrying all of this time.  I mean, how could I truly be his friend when I was reporting anything that might look suspicious.  I know it wasn’t suspicious when I reported that he liked fresh bread slathered in marmalade in the mornings sometimes and that he liked to drink his coffee with cream and sugar – clearly Sindorei affectations, right? I gave them a bunch of nonsense like that which probably made me look foolish, however, it wasn’t my decision to spy on him about every little thing.

I know that Kal has acted a bit funny and strange since our talk, in a good way.  I know that I make him nervous now when I never did before – the way that he looks at me is different too, there is something going on behind those green-flecked eyes that he hasn’t told me about yet.  I know that he is very protective, more so now than he used to be.  I mean, he looked out for me before, however, now, he really is almost to the extreme.  It’s almost like his feelings have changed to a different way of thinking about the two of us when we’re out in the field now.  I did tell him that I was still the same person that I was before, the same Sentinel and I didn’t need him to hover over me all of the time.

We had a wonderful couple of days on the farm before we got sent back out to scout some more.  I also got called into the Commanders tent again to get chewed out for my “nonsense” reports of Kal’s behavior and they knew that there had to be more.  Well, there isn’t anything that I can report that wouldn’t be detrimental to the two of us, so, it’s nonsense that they will be getting.  I also didn’t mention anything about his Mother being in the Sentinels and could be in our camp at any time. 

I know that he is thrilled to know that his Mother is here in Panderia and he hopes that her group of Sentinels will be coming into Halfhill anytime.  I know that he’s left word with several people there in town to tell her where our farm is and that she is to make herself at home. I guess that he just told people that she was a very close friend or a relative.  He also left the note for his Dad hidden by the well – I hope he didn’t hide it too good and his Dad hasn’t seen it yet.

I know that Kal told me that I had to be careful and not mention that she is his Mother because that would make it hard for her to do her duty as a Sentinel.  They would know that she is involved with a Sindorei on a very intimate level and could even get her killed.  I know that some of the Sentinels don’t understand about love between a man and a woman, much less the love that could possibly be shared between two races.   It is going to be real stressful when she does get here, I mean, how can he explain our living together unless he goes on with the charade of us being best friends and all.

Well, we are best friends, I just think that the relationship has changed to something more even if we haven’t been actually sleeping together like a man and woman. 

I know that I shouldn’t have told him about how I grew up.  He was always curious as to why I never went to see “family” when I had leave and I think that I felt like I owed him an explanation of sorts. Now, he wants me to go with him when he goes to see his family.  I don’t know if I am ready for that or not because they may not approve of me or like me for some reason.  I tried to explain to him that I didn’t want to get too heavily involved with his family in case things didn’t work out between us, it would be awkward if I did something and his Mother got angry – I mean, I know what an angry Sentinel is like and I have been told that an Angry Mother makes an Angry Sentinel look like child’s play.  See what I mean?

I know that it  is going to be a while before we get back to the farm again and that makes me sad because I have come to feel like that place is the first home that I have ever had.  I always worry about things when we’re gone and I think that Kal does too.  I’ve never seen a man so crazy about a few little acres of land before, especially a Kaldorei.  It must be the Sindorei blood showing up because I know that his Father spends a lot of time on his farm.

I wish I could have seen this palace of a home that Kal’s Father had in Dalaran.  It sounds like it was marvelous and it sounds like there were more people living there with them than I would like, however, that’s how it was back then.  I don’t think that Kal has been back to Dalaran since all of the stuff went down and the Blood Elves were chased away or killed outright.  Maybe we can take a trip there someday to see how things have changed, if it wouldn’t be too hard on Kal – I’ve never been there and would like to see it.

Well, it looks like Kal is going to join the living again.  He was sleeping like a rock and was pulling the furs off of me all night because he must have been cold.  I know that these tents don’t keep the wind out as much as the military people would like to think, however, we were both snuggled up under the furs until he started taking them all – he is a covers hog, that’s the only drawback of sharing them with him.

It’s my turn to fix breakfast, so, I guess I should stop writing and get that done.





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