*Language – very blunt and swearing – if you are sensitive to that kind of material, please do not read this.*
I was sitting here this morning and contemplating things, the meaning of Life and all that shit – yeah, the outhouse is nice place for those fucking thoughts, however, I left my journal in the house.
Okay, here we are in Pandaria, why are we here in Pandaria? Well, some Blood Elves got their panties in a wad, created a bomb that the goblins were just tickled to death to carry it and drop it off on Theramore for a fucking price. They’d probably do that on their own Mama if the price was right. Okay, the bomb was a bad thing and I’ll never fucking say it wasn’t. However, this caused that bitch Jaina Proudmore to get her panties in a bunch when she went back to Stormwind and wailed at Varian.
Well, in between all of that, you have exploratory parties sailing off on the ocean and they discovered a new continent. Yeah, Bear Heaven. Pandaria, supposedly shrouded in Mists for the millennia – what happened? Did a whole bunch of Pandaren get together and farted and the mists took off? No one has ever told me why that veil was lifted. The Alliance found it first, however, no, no, no, that would never do – The Horde had to have a cut of the action. Now, we have a whole fucking war going on.
Now, that brings me back to this Jaina bitch. Okay, I’ve heard the stories that she’s slept with everything that had two legs and a working dick – Thrall, even, or so I’ve heard. Well, it seems like we fucking killed off her last lay – come to find out he was really a dragon in disguise or some kind of bullshit, so, let’s just say that she’s slept with anything that would have her.
Okay, next thing we fucking know, this woman goes to Dalaran and decides that all of the Blood Elves have to get out of there because a select few of the race had been involved in the Theramore debacle. Well, fuck, why didn’t she declare war on the goblins, dragons, birds of the air that used to shit on Theramore? Now, she’s blaming one entire race for something only a few of us were involved in. Now, we aren’t welcomed in a city where we have lived for years. I think she’s really pissed because she’s not getting laid anymore or something.
We all heard the rumors of Varian trying to work out some kind of peace treaty with the Blood Elves and that bitch killed that idea off with her stunt in Dalaran. Wonder if she’s tried out the King yet? Anyway, as I see it from my perspective, even with the idiot Warchief that we have leading the Horde at the moment, all we have to do to end the war real fast is to bump off Jaina. I think it’s a good idea, however, I haven’t voiced my opinion to anyone other than my journal.
Now we have the Black Prince trying to get everyone’s loyalty to swing towards him. His Daddy was Deathwing – okay, I’m supposed to trust this guy that is the product of a whacked out dragon? Hmm, no, I didn’t fall off the turnip wagon heading to market. I’ll bide my time and see what this little bastard wants. He has his fingers and his spies all over the damned place – I don’t trust him.
Maybe I should just leave the political shit for guys like Fnor to deal with although I think my solution would be the fastest thing on two feet and we could all go home. I think I’m just tired of the war and really should start asking for a leave – I need a change of pace for a while. Oh, don’t ever question my loyalty, I’m loyal to Silvermoon – that’s where I got my orders to report to Orgrimmar for assignment back in the Rangers. I took an Oath to serve the Horde, however, in my mind, it has its limitations because what if that Orc bugger decided he didn’t like the Sindorei anymore and ordered us to attack our own people. Guess which way I’d go?
Well, I wouldn’t go home to Silvermoon or Shattrath. I’d just stay here in Pandaria and live on my farm and the rest of the world could go screw themselves. It’s selfish, I know, however, it would be a good thing for me.
Oops, time for me to report back to camp and “get busy” with some of the paperwork that my best friend has told me is now my job to do. He knows how I hate that shit.
Owner of Plantation