Someone Isn’t Feeling Very Well

*Language – please don’t read if you’re sensitive to that sort of thing*

 

April 6th

Yo Book!

Well, it shouldn’t be fucking surprising to me, however, it isn’t something that I wanted to happen either.  I’ve got a fucking cold!! You get rained on and ride from one area to another in the fucking rain – you’re not a damned sponge. You get your nuts grabbed by virmen on the farm when you’re wading around in the mud and you get rained on when you’re scouting around in Krasarang and then…to top it all off you get snowed on in Kun’lai.  What the fuck?  Doesn’t it ever stop raining here?  The only damned place I’ve been that I haven’t gotten fucking rained on every hour on the hour is at the Jade Temple and those people are weird – no shoes and I can honestly say that I find a spot there, take off as much of my clothes as possible and stay there – don’t go stomping around barefooted, you might fucking step on something.

I knew I hadn’t been feeling well and wasn’t my usual charming self because I had a constant achy feeling and a headache on top of it.  Not a headache like you get when you drink too much, the headache that lingers and makes even moving your eyes a problem and let’s not even talk about the fucking ears. Oh yeah, you sneeze and you feel like you got shot in the head.

Well, I guess I was getting a bit cranky and Fnor was trying to explain a special patrol that he wanted my group to take and I kept sneezing so much that I didn’t catch half of it.  Oh, I know it must have been annoying to him because he’d have to repeat himself and I’d start sneezing and sniffling to where it was a futile exercise on his part.

I got sent to the fucking healers.  Well, I go to the healers and for the very first time since I’ve been here, I got one that didn’t look like they had escaped from a dog pound or yak pen.  I kept trying to make small talk with her and flirting in between sneezes – which was pretty comical if you were listening in.  I’d start to say something like “How some *sneeze* and then we could *sniffle, sneeze, cough* and have a few drinks” with a few nose blowing events scattered in there.  She gave me some potions and told me that I needed to get some rest, drink plenty of fluids for the next couple of days.  I almost started laughing when she told me to get out of my damp clothes – almost started taking them off except she raised her eyebrows and shook her head. I suppose it was just as well that she didn’t take me up on my offer because if I’d had tried to get her in a bed, I wouldn’t have been able to function with all of the sneezing.

So, here I sit at the farm, in my nice warm bed, Jogu was kind enough to bring me some of his sautéed carrots and some of the chicken and dumplings – which we seem to have an unending supply of these days. What really surprised me the most was that he brought me some tea and not the booze that he is usually carting around.

Fuck, even my eyeballs ache. Now I wish that I had someone living with me because I don’t feel like doing anything.  Wish I had someone around that would take care of me other than Jogu.  I mean, he’s doing a great job of that, however, a tender touch now and again from a woman without fucking her would be nice.  I even wish my sister was here – she knew how to make me feel better when I got sick, however, she is a priestess and a beginning healer.

I could even see me out on a fucking scouting party and getting shot because I sneezed. Now, wouldn’t that be an amusing tale to tell. “Oh, I got shot because I was sneaking around the Alliance and a little pink-haired bitch of a gnome shot me when I sneezed on her.”

Dawn has decided that she is going to stay in the house with me instead of going out and chasing virmen like she usually does.  As much as I love my cat, I do wish that she wouldn’t feel the need to jump up on the bed and stare at me with those blue eyes of hers before she gives me a good lick on the face with that rough tongue.  I know I need to shave because her tongue and my beard act like sandpaper being ground together.

Oh, we did have that damned meeting with all of the officers a couple of days ago.  I guess Fnor was pretty pissed off that some of the officers just stood around and let that little asshole do whatever he wanted with his stuff.  I guess next time people won’t just stand idly by and let that happen.  That was one of the best ass chewing speeches I’ve heard in a while. I’m just glad that I got to kick that kid’s ass a little bit before he got hauled out of camp – little fucker.

Oh, great!  The fucking guy from Dominance is here banging on the door wanting his supplies and I just want to tell him to sod off  – the supplies are sitting in the cart, just like they always are  – in the fucking rain.  I guess Jogu got his attention when he threw an empty bottle at him and they’ve gone off to get the supplies.  Oh hello there, asshole, I’m not required to hand those fucking things to you if I happen to be home when you come to pick them up.

Fuck! I took that potion, just like that healer said too and I’m sitting here feeling my eyes crossing, involuntarily.  Guess she meant for me to sleep. Even the lines that I have written in my journal don’t make any sense and they look kind of crook…..

Night night

Fuck me!

Fnar Dwanfucker….

I need to lay

down and

….      s

l

ee

p…

3 thoughts on “Someone Isn’t Feeling Very Well

  1. ROTFL!!!!!I can totally relate.. the part where he was flirting with the healers was funny,and had me giggling.My husband is sitting across from me asking what had me so amused ,so I told him about Fnar,and he started laughing too.

    • See, I was totally out of it when I wrote an additional reply to your comment – actually took the rest of the day off to see if I couldn’t sleep off the meds a little bit. I hate that foggy and delayed reaction time – good thing I don’t drive, right?

  2. LOL! Glad you enjoyed it and your hubby too. Since I’ve been playing fairly well medicated for the last couple of days with allergy meds – this whole thing made sense and who better than Fnar to let those feelings out. I’ve been doing the thing of “Oh, a shiny” diving down and being a little slow on the landing and skidding several yards away – it’s the drugs, man!!

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