*Blunt Language and swearing – if you’re sensitive to that sort of thing, please don’t read – Guess you could say that it’s NSFW – not safe to be read at work because you might snort your coffee and spit on your keyboard*
Yo Book Thing!!
Well, I think that I am ready to join the fucking living again. I don’t think that I have ever had a cold that lingered like this one has, however, I don’t think I’ve seen it rain so much either. Even the damned bed sheets felt like someone had pissed on them and left them on the bed. I’m surprised everything doesn’t have that black mildew all over them – Fuck!
I guess I had a rough couple of days there and my nurse, Jogu, kept plying me with carrots, tea and chicken and dumplings. At least I know it didn’t cost anything with the way he keeps grabbing the dead chickens up and turning them into a good meal. Better he do that than the cat and dog get into a tussle over which one is going to eat the bird or not. He brought me some stuff last night that was pretty strong to drink – he called it Witch’s Brew, I call it All The Leftover Booze You Have Around – mixed it all together. Damn, that even had the hair on my chest tingle when I drank the shit. Whew! It brought on a coughing fit the likes of which I haven’t had in a while, however, it sure did seem to clear my chest out with all of the hacking. I will admit that I feel better this morning and I’m not even going to ask him for the recipe because I don’t really want to know what was in it.
Fnor stopped by for a little bit last night and he looked like hell. Can’t say that I have seen him look quite this bad in a long time. He said that he went to the Faire and kind of tied one on because it just made him angry that he was still missing his wife so much. I’m glad I missed that drunk because I don’t know how receptive I would have been about a guy rolling around in some self pity because his woman isn’t with him. Hell, I don’t even have a woman right now and I have a good reason to whimper because I haven’t even gotten laid since I can last remember. Oh wait, there was that drunk girl in Paw ‘don. Light! That was a long time ago.
Now that I am feeling better, I might go hit on that little healer a bit. She was definitely cute and she had that way about her that makes me think there is some hidden passion underneath all of those robes and that soft touch of hers. She looked like she had some perky tits under those robes and I bet what is between her legs is just as perky. Hope she’s not a virgin, they always expect you to jump up and swear your love and ask you to marry them after you’ve already deflowered them. Oh, just thinking about her has me all hot and bothered. What the fuck am I saying? Anytime I think about any woman right now I get all hot and bothered, bet I could stick it in a bottle of ink and write with it.
When you’ve been without for as long as I have, your compass tends to point North at the worst possible times. Like right now – I could be on my death bed and that fellow would still want to go out exploring new lands. Even the Pandaren women are almost looking good, which is real scary all by itself. I don’t know why I am so damned afraid of them other than the fact that the size of the thighs make me think that they could snap a fellow in half if they got too excited – not to mention, you’d have to go spelunking to find what you were there for to begin with. Oh, that made me shudder at the thought.
I got a letter from Faendra wanting me to come back to Orgrimmar and go with her to Silvermoon to check the properties there. Now, come on, Agatha is there in Silvermoon taking care of the properties and my sister, I don’t think that she wants to go to inspect things. I should go, I suppose, however, if she thinks that I am going to forget how she feels about me and what her intentions might be, I don’t think that we’ll be doing the horizontal tango. It would give me a chance to check up on that kid that has been asking all of the questions about me though.
That really has my curiosity piqued more than just a little bit. I hope it isn’t some young cock rooster that is trying to put the hit on me for his Mother or something. Hell, I don’t even know who his Mother is or if I even fucked her. Knowing me, I probably did, however, that was a real long time ago and I haven’t exactly been celibate since then either. I’ve probably shagged two or three hundred women since them and I don’t usually ask them their names while we’re banging away either.
I wouldn’t mind sampling the girl next door. Just saw her out in the field with barely anything on. Oh, I know she’s Fnor’s son’s live-in and all that, however, I don’t hear anything about them getting married or anything. Light! She’s got legs up to her neck and not to mention, her breasts are as big as my head almost. Wonder if that kid of Fnor’s has sampled those wares? He’s a damned fool if he hasn’t because I would have been hitting that one every chance I got. Well, maybe not, she’s a Kaldorei and that can get real complicated – Fnor’s life being in the shape that it is in tells me that much. However, she sure does look tasty. Not to mention, she’s a Sentinel like Fnor’s wife and that woman would probably rip my head off and spit down my neck for me touching one of her sacred Sisters of Elune.
I know I must be feeling better because my libido is definitely screaming at me. I’m still weak as kitten though, which means that my stamina would be a bit lacking in that department. It would probably be one of those one-two pushes and I’d be done. That would be disappointed for both parties. Nothing worse than a guy that can’t hold his own with a woman.
I guess Fnor thought I needed some more robes to wear around the house because he brought a couple over for me to use until I start feeling better. Oh yeah, he knows how to wear a robe real well. I’ve got on the black one now that has all kinds of runic markings on it in silver, which doesn’t look too bad on me. I could really get used to this kind of thing but I kind of like to sit around in the buff when I’m in the house or in bed. If a man’s body was supposed to be covered up all of the time, we’d probably have had a lot more hair on our bodies or we would have been born with clothes on. I know damned good and well that I didn’t come into this world with a full set of clothes because I didn’t even have that when I got left at the orphanage in Shattrath from what they tell me.
The more I think about Faendra’s invitation, the more inclined I am to take her up on it, however, part of me is telling me to be more than careful. She’s young and I’m sure that she still has that thing in her mind that she and I will get married and she will push out a couple of kids to make sure that Dawnglory does the right thing. At least her big brother understands that I’m not ready to get married and I definitely would like to bed her – he told me that it’s between she and I, that we will do what we want and he doesn’t want to get involved anymore. Besides, I remember the last time that he thought I’d fucked her and he punched my lights out too. Yeah, right, he doesn’t want to get involved. I wish he would hurry up and find a suitable match for her in Silvermoon, I know he’s been shopping around and trying to get her setup with one of those fops. No, I don’t think that I’ll even give her an answer yet in regard to that trip because I just have a feeling that it would be more trouble for me with her.
I know that I am damned happy that I don’t have to worry about parents trying to arrange things for me like that. I would probably get stuck with some butt ugly shrew that doesn’t have enough sense to come in out of the rain. With my bloodline being what it is, I probably couldn’t get my boot in the door of some of the finer houses there if it weren’t for the wealth that I’ve accumulated over the years. I suppose I could buy one of those titles or something like some of them have, however, that would make me just as fake as they are. Silvermoon people are just strange and I don’t understand all of the concerns with family name and history – my history is just not there.
No, after Fae kicked me in the nuts after Winter Veil and the riots in Orgrimmar, I haven’t exactly trusted her a whole lot. I guess she was really pissed that I hadn’t proposed to her then and that was her reaction to not getting her way. I think I’ll listen to my head and try to avoid being alone with her as much as possible.
Oh, I got a nice healthy check from Zippie for the artifacts I shipped her from Pandaria. I hope that she’s showing that stuff to some of the other employees because I think she might be right in the fact that the stuff is the “wave of the future” with the amount of money I’ve made lately. Damned little goblin really does seem to dance with joy every time she makes a huge profit on her ideas. I wonder how much of that the company really sees.
Faire!! Damn, I had better get up, get cleaned up and dressed because I definitely will be able to score down there without any names being asked and for free. Nope, I should have never asked Dawn if I should let my beard grow out or shave – I got the snort and the best kitty laugh that I’ve gotten from her in a while. Guess the beard has been voted down by the feline.
Owner of Plantation