Someone Lit the Fire…

April 16th

Yo Book Thing!!

Yes, it’s finally happened, Fnor and his wife are finally together and are probably going to be hidden away at his farm for a few days.  Oh, I know, they will be in that house getting it on and I’ll be back at the camp trying to keep the whole thing covered up as well as I can.  However, the noises I heard coming from that little farmhouse really were obvious as to what in the fuck was going on.  They were in there banging their brains out.

Oh well, that just means that I won’t be seeing my best friend for a few days, however, it also means that he won’t be such a grouchy bastard for a while since he got laid. I’m glad his wife finally got to Halfhill though, she’s a nice enough woman for a Kaldorei and he seems to genuinely care for her.  I know that I have tried to tempt him into a few situations from time to time and he was always steadfast in his vows.  You’d think he was some kind of bloody Paladin with the way he’d gather those vows around him like a second suit of armor. Oh well, at least they’re together and I hope that things will keep working for them here in Pandaria.

Speaking of Kaldorei.  If that girl friend or roommate of Kaldor’s doesn’t start wearing some more clothes when she is out in the field, I’m going to jump the fence and take her right there in the dirt.  Damn, she makes my blood run hot just thinking about what that would be like – hot young Sentinel and definitely female in her orientation.  I was watching her doing some hoeing and I almost nailed the fence that had a knot hole in it.  I need to get out there and get myself a woman to sleep with real quick.

I am sitting in the camp in Krasarang right now and just wishing that I was somewhere else.  Oh sure, I can give out the briefing and the orders as well as Fnor can, however, I don’t like all of the damned paperwork that goes along with it.  I definitely don’t like having to listen to people that have new and great ideas of how we should be fighting this war either when the nearest they’ve come to actually doing any fighting was spearing a sweet thing at a party in Silvermoon.

I know that I will sit here for part of the day and then I’ll head to Orgrimmar to do a little shopping of my own for a few things.  I might even stop by the office there and check on how the company is doing and possibly spend some time with Faendra.  No, I’m not going to invade that baby-maker because she is showing all the signs of a woman that will try anything to keep a man at her side.  I may be blonde of hair, however, I wasn’t born yesterday.

I know that I am going to definitely be taking some time off here in the very near future to do some of my own exploring.  First on the list is finding a woman that has a brain on her shoulders and getting laid.  I have all but given up on finding one that is at least sober and willing to do the horizontal dance here in Pandaria or at least in Halfhill.   Oh sure, I could get one “for a price” , however, I would like to find someone that wants me for myself, not just my gold.

Oh well, I’ll stop whining about not getting laid for a while, it just frustrates me more anyway.  What the fuck does a fellow have to do up here in Pandaria?  I mean, we go out and fight the fight, our blood is high and we just want a woman of like mind to release that tension.  Hell, we don’t even have to know each other’s names for that matter.

I’ve sent my group out with one of the younger Lt. Commanders this morning and I hope that he has his shit together enough to do exactly what he was ordered to do and not try to be a fucking hero and get people killed.  I hate writing those letters as much as Fnor does, maybe even more so because I am in the trenches with these people.

Almost Midnight

Whoa!  I went to Orgrimmar and never did make it to the office and I sure as hell didn’t do any shopping either.  Didn’t really need to do any shopping, it was already standing at the mailbox waiting for me. Well, not waiting for me specifically but the Fates were kind enough to put this woman in my path.

She was standing there looking at a map of Orgrimmar and apparently muttering to herself about the fact that the map had to be wrong and that the Auction House wasn’t where it was supposed to be.  Must have been a real old map or something.

Anyway, I turned on the charm and it worked.  I guess she felt a bit embarrassed because the building was standing right in front of her that she was looking for, which, I pointed it out to her and winked.  Oh, she isn’t one of those shy violets or prim and proper either, she returned my stares tit-for-tat.   Definitely a hunter from the looks of her and that giant white bear of hers standing by her side.  Man, that bear was huge but I didn’t spend a whole lot of time paying attention to the animal, my mind was already on the woman.

Red-haired, tall but not too tall, great set of knockers pressing against her armor.  I’ll admit that I have a real weakness for redheads.  Maybe I like playing with fire, what the fuck do I know? Her voice had a deeper timber to it that really started my blood burning and the way she just stood there – hips just right, built like a brick shithouse, she was definitely a grown woman, not a little girl fresh out of Silvermoon either.

Oh, we stood there and talked for a few minutes, she’s definitely from Northrend and was partially raised in Shattrath.  Sounds like a fucking match made in heaven if you ask me.  Someone that could understand why I am different from those silk wearing little fops in Silvermoon. She apparently had been sent to Orgrimmar to put up some skins for sale at the Auction House by her Father.  Hmm, bless the man for begetting such a hot daughter.

We decided that we would go to one of the local taverns to have a drink and do some talking.  You know, that getting to know each other bullshit that you have to dance through with a woman.  We went to the tavern and as per usual, there were a ton of people discussing all manner of things and quite a few drunks that couldn’t find their asses with both hands if they had too.

We sat there and talked quite a bit about the coldness of Northrend and having a proper mate in bed with you under the furs would make that chill get out of the bones.  If that woman knew what kind of fire she was building in my loins, she might as well have just said “you wanna fuck!”  I know that the more she and I talked the more I thought that I had met the female version of myself.  Oh, we didn’t pull any punches about what it was we were looking for.  Oh, we teased each other quite a bit and intimated at what we were looking for and I think we’ve come up with a plan. 

Looks like I’m going to be making a trip to Northrend in the very near future.  She kept talking about how weak the men were of our race were, however, I think that I am going to show her that there is one fellow that didn’t grow accustomed to the comforts of Silvermoon – I actually dislike the place for several reasons.

When we were leaving the Inn, her to take care of her business and me to head back to Pandaria – there isn’t a decent bed to be had in Orgrimmar if you don’t count the apartment above the warehouse that we have there, not to mention that Faendra lives there as well.  Might prove to be a bit awkward for me to be bringing in a woman to have some fun times with.

I’d like to have some privacy while I taste the wares that I know that this woman has to offer.  I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and waited to get slapped, however, she reached over and planted a kiss on me that left my compass pointing due North real fast.  Well, I couldn’t help but reciprocate in like kind and I’m sure that I left her as heated as I was.  She’s just damned lucky that I didn’t just take her right there.

Her name is Andromedda Nightspear. I keep thinking about that red hair and that body.  It’s not just the physical thing, she’s kind of intrigued me with some of the things that she talked about.  She sounded much more feral in her likings of things and that kind of appealed to the animal side of me.  I hope she’s up to the challenge when we finally do get together in Northrend because I am going to do my best to make her know that I’m not some weakling – I’m a man that knows how to pleasure a woman and can keep her fire lit for days if need be. I don’t think that she is one of those women that is looking for a marriage either, which is a definite plus on my side – mention marriage and I can grow wings faster than a Paladin shouting out his “glory”. Damn, she’s hot.

I bet she’s a great hunter, which is really something else that is a plus in her corner.  She’s intelligent and seems to be one of those “take charge” women.  We might have to work on that a little bit because I’m not some little lapdog to be bossed around.

I keep thinking about those long legs and everything else connected to it.  She definitely has started a fire in me that isn’t going to be easily quenched. Damn, I’m going to have to take another cold shower and get a letter written to her to set up that meeting – I’m almost tempted to just carry the damned message, however, I guess I shouldn’t appear to anxious.

Fnar Dawnglory

Owner of Plantation

Halfhill, Pandaria

 

2 thoughts on “Someone Lit the Fire…

  1. RoTFL!! Glad to see she wasn’t the only one all fired up after that meeting…Definitely going to be fireworks when they get together, Great read, Fnar’s posts are always fun to read.

    • Oh, yeah, he’s definitely in the “howling at the moon” kind of mood right now. She definitely lit the fire and I hope she knows how to control it somewhat. Hehe, he’s my unabridged character that says what he thinks regardless of the situation in his journals – he does try to act like has some manners when he’s out in public though – he’s been slapped more than a few times.

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