Just Cranky…


*Very blunt language and more than a few F bombs – please don’t read this if you’re easily offended.*


May 8th

Yo Book!

Well, I was finally able to get my sorry ass back to camp after spending the last few days in Kun’lai.  Same old shit, different day and less mud, at least.  This was not what I had in mind after Romy getting here in Pandaria, however, fucking duty calls and I have to go.

I got back to camp and didn’t see Romy wandering around with her bear even though I did go searching for her.  She was down with her group where they were billeted, however, I heard plenty of talk from her Commander about how good she was with a bow however, she needed to work on her people skills a bit.  What the fuck?  This guy is telling “me” that someone has to work on their people skills.  I nearly busted a gut laughing.

I guess I was a little blunt in telling him that balancing a tea cup and a cucumber sandwich on your knees wasn’t what we fucking needed in Pandaria.  We needed people that could fight and knew how to be real Rangers, not some social butterfly standards that he had imported from Silvermoon.  So what if she had knocked some people into the mud after they laughed at her for being stuck in that same mud moments before.  Fuck them!!   I think I shocked the little bastard because I may look like a Silvermoon escapee but I’ve never spent more than six months in the fucking place…and I was fucking anything that didn’t move fast enough.

I like Romy’s rough edges.  She doesn’t mince words and she sure does know how to rock my world between the sheets. She’s the first woman that I have been around that isn’t trying to play fucking mind games with me and trying to get me married.  Fuck that!  What we have right now is just fine, we’re friends, I think and we’re good in bed together – no fucking strings.

Oh yeah, more fucking letters from back in the world.  I sure wish that Faendra would stop with all of the letters because I’m not going to answer them.  I counted the number of letters that I had in this last mail drop and I count a letter a day since I last picked up my mail.  I don’t know what she has to say in the fucking things because I haven’t even bothered opening all of them.  Just more of the same bullshit – she needs me to come back to Orgrimmar to help her with shit.  Well, she has Zippie there and the rest of the lot, she doesn’t need me there anymore than I need to be there.  Damned girl just can’t take a subtle hint.  Besides, her brother gets back there more than I do these days because he has reasons for being there other than whatever in the Hell she needs.  She’s getting me to the point that I don’t even want to go to Orgrimmar except that I have to keep an eye on the business with Fnor too.  Damn that girl – leave me the fuck alone.

Light Damnit!! Another letter from Silvermoon with inquiries from that kid.  That little bastard is not going to give up.  Where was I born, whom were my parents, how long was I in Silvermoon during the Scourge invasion?  What the fuck!! If I knew who my parents were, I wouldn’t have been raised in an orphanage you silly little shit – I was raised in that fucking orphanage in Shattrath along with my baby sister.  How long was I in Silvermoon?  Well, long enough time to nail at least half of the female population in the city before I left and might have had a drunken moment or two with a fellow with real long hair.  Who knows, that whole fucking time was a blur when it happened and it was so long ago that the majority of the women have faded from my memory except for maybe a couple of them. Man, there was this one woman that did this oral thing that still boggles my mind, however, I don’t even remember her name, so, it’s just going to have to be a memory.

Okay, I’m fucking cranky.  I busted my ass pushing my group through Kun’lai and gathered as much information as I could without just waltzing into some Horde camp and asking how many men they had there.  I’ve been shot at, pissed on by a yak and I think I fell into some mushon shit a few times. 

Oh, let’s not even talk about the fucking Sentinels – those bitches must breed like rabbits and they are all of an age to where they are old enough to be in Pandaria.  I think I counted somewhere around ten groups of them up there this time – I usually run into four or maybe five groups of scouting parties but it seemed like the bitches were coming out of the woodwork. Who knows, maybe Fnor’s wife was up there with them, however, if she was trying to kill me, friend or not, she was going to be fucking toast.  Yeah, a few skirmishes were to be had and yes, a few injuries, however, nothing to get all hot and bothered about.  Same old shit, different day.

I got back to camp  hoping that I might get to spend some more time with Romy and she is nowhere to be found.  I checked the rosters and the changes that I had made were undone by someone with the initials FM.  Well, FUCK ME, I am going to go bang on your door and find out why you changed that. If I think that Romy is capable to run with my group, then, by the Light, that’s how it’s going to be, Commander.

I’m really cranky.  I needed to be able to slip away with Romy for a while, be able to have a romp or two under the sheets and talk to her.  Damn it, it’s not just the physical thing with her, it’s how we can talk about things.  I wanted to talk to her about some of the things that are going on in Pandaria and I wanted to find out how things were going with her people because I know how dependent they were on her in Northrend.  Not to mention, she is supposed to have some free time coming up here soon – maybe we could slip away together and go to Northrend.  I also wanted to find out how she would handle this Faendra thing too – she would probably tell me to tell the girl that I am involved with someone and that she needed to go find a little boy to play with instead of trying to play with an adult.

Now, I need to do something about Felessa.  She sends me a letter and doesn’t say jack shit about her studies or anything else. She just goes on and on about this young Ranger named Jax something or other.  I don’t give a fuck, she’s going to end up with that old mage whether she likes it or not and I’m sure that there will be hell to pay. As much as I love her, I really think that it’s time that she got on with her own life and pushed out a couple of babies for the old man.   I haven’t signed the contract yet, however, it’s something that I will be doing in the next week or so.  Hope she can get over this infatuation that she has developed for this guy.  It was bad enough when she had the hots for my best friend, now, I have to listen to her prattle on about how wonderful this other guy is.  He’s probably some little fop with a fancy bow and long dick.  However, he better not be practicing shooting his arrows on my sister, if you get my drift because I’ll kill him, Ranger or not.

Romy, where the fuck are you? I need to talk to you and I need to be with you for a while.  Yes, I’ve made those roster changes again and I’m going to go punch Fnor in the nose if he even tries to change them again.  Romy is a veteran and doesn’t need to hang out with these little recruits for Light’s sake.

Oh well, guess I should go clean some of this shit out of my armor and get some sleep if I can’t spend the time with my woman.  Maybe she’s in Halfhill, she doesn’t know where my farm is yet because we were too busy dancing under the sheets for me to show her where it is.  Damn it all!

Fnar Dawnglory

Owner of Plantation

Halfhill, Pandaria



2 thoughts on “Just Cranky…

  1. Awww.. Romy misses him too..she will be so thrilled to see him again :)) Great read, going to be interesting to find out how things turn out when Fnar asks her what to do about Fae,lol

    • Hehe, yeah, he needs some womanly advice. Yep, it will be nice to see these two get back together again for some RP, it’s been a while – darn leveling interrupting things 😀

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