Well, that’s how you’re supposed to start one of these things off, or that’s what Hazey does, I think. My name is Brianca Smyth and my stupid sister, Hazey, and I live in Orgrimmar with all of the smelly Orcs, Goblins, fancy pants Blood Elves that got run out of Silvermoon and Dalaran, and lots of cows – errr, Tauren.
Nothing would do that we leave Undercity and come to Orgrimmar because that’s where there was money to be made. Right? Okay, we have a little house of our own which we couldn’t have had in UC, however, we had our own little corner down there in depths where we could put our coffins and nobody would try to steal them, or if they did, they usually found them occupied, which made it harder to steal that way. Oh no, we had to come to Orgrimmar. I was perfectly happy where I was, however, my much older sister decided that we should move to the big city.
Okay, Hazey told me to get off my boney butt and go earn some money. That was fine, I didn’t have a problem with that, so, I decided that I’d much rather sit in Orgrimmar and fish. I made a lot of money fishing, yes I did. No, no, no, that wasn’t good enough, I had to go out there in Durotar and chase down boars for their meat, hides and whatever else they decided to have on their little bodies. Okay, I did that and decided that I could still get some more money if I stopped to fish now and then too. I like fishing, if the fish wiggle too much, you hit them with a rock until they stop and then you take the fish off the hook – easy as pie.
We’ve made some good money since we’ve been here, I’ll have to give her credit for that idea, however, I really didn’t see the point in buying beds, our coffins were mahogany and lined with some fancy silk. No, Hazey thought we should try to live like the living. Are you nuts, you addled pated fool? We’re dead, sleeping in a bed isn’t going to change that. We got a couch, if you can call it that, one side of it was kind of broken because someone real fat sat on it and broke it before we hauled it out of the dump. Now, we have a stove, okay, I think that cooking the food adds a little bit of flavor to it sometimes although that last pie that I made…well, I had to go back home to get my jaw fixed – again.
Nothing would do for Miss Priss than we both needed some entertainment. So, we went to the Faire. I’ve never been to the Faire since they put it on that stupid island. Sure, it’s bigger, it has a lot more stuff to do and the food isn’t too bad. Oh, we had things like Stormwind Surprise, which makes me a bit windy – don’t know what’s in that but it’s delicious. Teldrassil Tenderloin is my favorite, just not as chewy as one might think. At least they have food down there for all kinds of people to enjoy although the Draeni Dumplings were a bit chewy for my tastes and I do have a delicate palate.
I know that I was fine with the crowds and the noise for a while, however, some of the entertainment was taken at my expense when Hazey convinced me to take that canon ride – well, that was an experience that I am not likely to repeat, no matter how much my sister will tell me how it’s new and improved – those planks on the dock hurt, I don’t care what she says about my aim being off. I’m still finding things in my body that I know I didn’t have before I took that ride – seaweed, a crab claw and someone’s glove – don’t ask.
At least now I have an excuse to go back to Undercity for a visit, I need to get my jaw re-wired from that Tonk ride thing. Oh hello, there are things running around in there that blow you up and drop bombs on you. I should have never trusted the ride to begin with when it was been hawked by a Dwarf. Hazey thinks that they will be able to match up legs easy enough too – I think it looks kind of strange right now with the way that it’s off at an angle.
As Hazey put it, maybe I’m not meant to be as athletic as she is and my sense of humor needs to be adjusted. Well, it needs to be more than a little bit adjusted after all of that entertainment we got at the Faire.
She yelled at me again because I was staring at this Night Elf with one eye – I told her that I thought it was sinful that the Alliance medical people didn’t know how to replace an eye -it’s real easy, just pop the old one out and put a new one in from a fresh corpse, making sure that the eye isn’t damaged and it doesn’t matter if they match or not, at least you can see.
Oh well, now, I need to chase down some more boars, seeing as how we got a contract from that company that says they need boar meat. Can’t these people walk out the front gates of this city and do that for themselves? Lazy Lifers!