Talk of Family and Healing…

June 30th

Dear Journal,

Just being back in Dolonaar with my sons and my parents for just these past few days has been wonderful.  I didn’t realize how much stress and strain I had been under when I was in Pandaria.  Well, I take that back, being part of the Sentinels and trying to keep up with my Sindorei husband were very stressful at times.

Now, I can luxuriate in the comfort and the warmth of my old bed and my old room while I read or just nap when I want too.  Naturally, the boys will stick their head in the door to see if I am sleeping or not.  At least the headaches have stopped and I do not have to take that horrid potion that the healer gave me.  On the plus side, my Mom made up some of her potions and replaced the ones that the healer was giving me and they don’t seem to have the side effects that they did – I don’t keep having the same horrid nightmare over and over each time I close my eyes to sleep.

It was always the same dream of the attack in the Jade Forest, however, in my dream, I never lost consciousness and had to watch the entire fight between my Sindorei and the Orcs. It’s almost like stepping back in time to see an event and being unable to move or to intercede to change the outcome. Normally, after having one of these dreams, I wake up in a cold sweat and have a horrific headache.

My Mom tells me that this is normal for a person to have dreams like this after a traumatic injury.  She’s just thankful that I was still alive and had gotten some fairly decent medical care at the hands of a Sindorei healer although it would have been better if I had been amongst my own time.

Oh, she and I have had several long talks in the past and the present about my involvement with Fnor, however, she is finally relenting on the attitude that she had for several years and that was the one where she kept telling me that I should leave this man because he had been nothing but heartache and pain for me since the day I met him.  She has finally gotten it through her head that this is the man that I have chosen to mate with and love for the rest of our lives.  Oh she likes him well enough, she just wishes that he were Kaldorei so that she could tell her friends about him sometimes, I think.

I will admit that I already miss him more than I can put into words.  I miss the little farm in Pandaria and I miss lying there in the bed beside him night and feeling his arms wrapped around me as we slept.  These are the things that I truly miss. 

What I don’t miss is the war, the constant of having to keep your guard up at all times, no matter where you were.  I don’t miss the fact that my Sindorei and I had to slip around just to be together so that no one would see us.  I’m not ashamed of my husband and it always made it seem wrong to have to hide our relationship although I do understand the political ramifications if our relationship became known. I hope that someday after we get everything back in Shattrath that we will be able to act like ourselves even in public.  I don’t miss the constant bickering that would go on amongst the women at the base camp and the constant little barbs being thrown around like so much candy.

A group of women can be rather cruel if they have targeted a victim to taunt.  I know that I would hear Kal’s name come up every now and again in these conversations and I could feel my ire rising to the front and I would just have to walk away.  He isn’t the only half-breed that is with the Sentinels, others have been able to disguise it better than Kal can, however, and I wouldn’t have him be any other way.  I have actually spotted several of the women that aren’t what they appear to be, not only from their physical attributes but also in their mannerisms.  Yes, there are few female mixes there hiding in plain sight. Kal stands out more because of his eyes and his size, he’s not small, and however, he is not as large as some of the mature male Kaldorei in our band.

I have enjoyed getting to know the Sentinel that is living with Kal though.  She seems to be a nice enough girl when she drops that Sentinel persona, which I remind her now and again, that it isn’t the only thing in the world for her. They seem to be a good match for one another and if they happen to actually become mates some day, it will be a good thing for Kal and the rest of the family – if they don’t, I just want what will make my son happy, and that’s all that matters to me.

Oh, I have enjoyed being able to play with my youngest boys here in Dolonaar.  They like having Mom around them except when I discipline them for being the little scamps that they are.  Oh my, they picked up some rather rough language while we were in Dalaran as well as few swear words that I have only heard in Shattrath.  I honestly don’t know how my parents can keep up with the two of them sometimes; they just wear me out on a daily basis right now.  If there isn’t something to keep them occupied most of the time, they end up getting into mischief.   At least they aren’t blowing things up anymore, they seem to have outgrown that or they’ve run out of explosives and don’t know how to make anymore.  When Dad doesn’t have them going out hunting with him, Mom has them working their little butts off in the garden and then they have to go to school every day – which is a very good thing.  I won’t have children that are uneducated and their step-Father would definitely have a fit if they weren’t learning things.

I still find myself feeling pretty weak most of the time and I think that I will go talk to the healer and see what kind of exercise I can start doing to get my strength back.  I know that “rest” is an important part of the healing process with the head injury but I just feel so useless. 

I know that my Sindorei was talking about leaving the Rangers before I came home and I am almost sure that he has made arrangements to do that.  I also know him well enough that he will want me to leave the Sentinels as well although a part of me wants to stay in the active service and a part of me wants to go back to the life that we had before.  Now that the children are older, I am not as restricted to the role of being a Mother, they can take care of themselves for the most part although these two youngest seem to need a lot more guidance in some things.   If my Sindorei and I can travel together like we used too before we had children, I’d leave the Sentinels in a heartbeat just so that I could be with him.  Oh, we had some great times together and even after the kids came along, we traveled with them for a while.

I’ll have to give this all some thought and come to a decision.  I know what Fnor would like for me to do; however, I have to be the one to make that decision on my own.  

Oh, my Sindorei and I have had a few words in regard to his sister’s upcoming arranged marriage.  I know that I am really against this tradition of the Sindorei.  I think that a woman should be able to choose her own mate and not have one picked out for her.  So what if it means more political power and more money, plus, the all important family name to be added to the long list of names involved, it still is barbaric.  I hope that my Sindorei has taken it to heart with some of the words that I have said and will let the girl make her own choices for her life.  He tends to coddle and spoil the girl and that’s why she acts like she does now, which can be awful for the rest of the family.

I’ll admit that Faendra needs to get herself settled down quite a bit and quit obsessing over my Sindorei’s business partner and friend too.  The girl is not in love with him, she’s obsessed with the idea of being in love with him and yet, the last time we talked – she had a whole list of things that she wants to change about him.  I did try to talk to her reasonably and to tell her that you don’t marry someone and then try to “change” them into something that they weren’t when they met.  Young girls just seem to think that they can change men into whatever they want “after they are married” and that just isn’t how that works – that’s why the Sindorei have so many unhappy people married to one another, it seems.

I think that I am going to lie down again and sleep because all of this writing and thinking has given me another headache although it’s not as bad as they were when I first got home with my parents.   I am trying to keep my eyes open on Lumina too because she is pregnant and should be dropping her kits any day now.  My Mom seems to think that she is going to have at least six this time instead of her usual three – that would surprise me.  I also wonder if any of them will look like her or if they will be mostly black like Pan. I will also have to find homes for them when they are old enough, we can’t keep them all.



Getting Plans Made For The Future

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

June 29th

Dear Journal,

Well, I’m sitting here at the farm this morning, watching the rain pour down as I drink some coffee and have a couple of cigarettes – still haven’t quite kicked the habit yet. Just enjoying some quiet time before I head to the base camp in Krasarang for a few hours.  It isn’t going to be all that difficult to leave that behind either because each time I go down there, I can feel the gorge rising in my throat.  The things that we are being ordered to do these days are not what Rangers were trained for and I find it almost insulting. I talked with Dawnglory briefly and he has told me that he has made arrangements for his resignation and his Lady’s resignation to be sent in with ample funds to cover their bribes.  I honestly didn’t think that he would stay in the Rangers and take over the command spot when I left because he is as sick of the way things are going as I am. 

I sent my resignation in the same day that Amyn left and I’m sure that the fertilizer will hit the wind machine before the end of the work.  Regardless of the outcome, I’m done at the end of the month, which is just a few days away.  I’m sure that it will get accepted this time since I sent enough gold along with it to choke an Orc. I know how much it cost to get the Cloudhoof Tauren out and I just doubled that amount, which should be more than ample for one fellow to take the shortcut out of the Oath that was broken on their end, not mine. As far as I am concerned in my mind right now, I’m already finished with my service to the Horde and if another “event’ or war comes to pass, I won’t re-enlist again unless it is strictly as an advisory position and not an active service role. I’ve decided that I am getting too damned old for that nonsense especially under this particular regime.

If we still had free access to Dalaran, like the old days, I would have already left Pandaria and would have already headed to Northrend as quickly as any mount could carry me.  Yeah, Dalaran was my safe haven away from the rest of Azeroth, however, I suppose I will get used to the digs in Shattrath once I get things finished up here.   Of course, I’m dreading the trip through Orgrimmar because that is going to rattle a few people when I step back in as the businessman instead of just stopping in to check on things like I have been doing since I came to Pandaria.

I find it rather odd that  I haven’t heard anything from Zippie and I definitely haven’t heard anything from Faendra in the last week or almost two weeks now.  Agatha sent me a letter and said that she won’t be able to go to Orgrimmar to get Faendra for another week because she is getting everything set up with Dawnglory’s sister’s wedding plans and parties.  Okay, that works for me, I’m not in a big rush to spend a lot more money on something that may not come to pass.  Amyn is adamant about the fact that she thinks that I am forcing this on Faendra and she feels that it is just wrong even if it is a tradition with the Sindorei.

Oh, we have had quite a few arguments in regard to the situation with Faendra too.  Fae has really gotten to be rather headstrong and obsessive about what she thinks is the way for her to do things, which, has made it rather difficult for me to control my temper with her.  The last argument that Fae and I had was really nasty and quite a few things were said that shouldn’t have been said.  Amyn keeps telling me that it is because Fae is young and that I have been overly protective of her and have spoiled her by giving her anything and everything she has ever asked for.  All I wanted to do was to make the girl happy, she was robbed of having her parents with her at a very young age and I have tried to make up for it the only way that I can, lots of money and her acceptance of my situation was the only thing that I had ever asked for in return. 

I do know that it is going to be nice to be my own boss again and not have to answer to the people in Orgrimmar.  I don’t know why I am filled with such dread of going to Orgrimmar right now.  It’s never been one of my favorite places to be, however, it has gotten somewhat better since they have finished all of construction and repairs.  At least you can walk down the street without having and eye cocked to the sky to avoid any falling debris and an occasional Peon.  If my calculations are correct, I should have the company headquartered in Shattrath again in about six months, if everything goes as planned. 

I am going to take my time getting to Orgrimmar anyway because my leg is still throbbing a lot although it is almost completely healed.  I guess it takes longer for your body to heal when you get older, however, the wound was pretty serious and deep, which has been the real problem.  As long as I get some physical exercise and keep the scar tissue limbered up, I’m fine, however, if I skip a day of walking around a lot or even just moving around, there is a certain stiffness there that is rather annoying.  I suppose I’ll be sporting the scar on my leg for quite a while unless I run into a good healer that knows the magic of removing scars again like I had in Dalaran.

Yes, everything points back to Dalaran and why not?  I lived there for a number of years and based my company out of the city for that entire time.  I can remember arriving there with just a few gold in my pouch and working myself into a frenzy to make life better, which I did manage to do.  I like to think that our house was one of the bigger and better places to live and I know I had quite a bit of sweat equity built up in the place because I would do a lot of the work myself.  I’m a fair carpenter and I know exactly how I wanted the inside of the house to look.  The hours, weeks and months that I spend hauling stuff to Dalaran from various parts of Azeroth – the slate for the entryway took the longest because each piece was rather large and I was doing most of the hauling myself.  It was truly a beautiful house and had all of the comforts that a Sindorei could ever possibly want for beauty and comfort.  Oh well, all of that is gone now and I did try to recreate the house pretty much when we built the new one in Nagrand, not nearly as large, however, the interior followed the original design pretty much.

I know that I will have to sit down and talk to Amyn about her leaving the Sentinels again and explain to her why I am leaving the Rangers.  I think that she will understand exactly how I feel, however, I can’t force her to give up something if she doesn’t want to do that.  Oh, when we were younger, I could wheedle her into things sometimes, however, there was usually a price to pay for that wheedling further down the road.  Yes, I can still remember her shooting me in the butt a few times for trying to force her into stuff too.  Damn, she knows exactly the spot to hit where it will hurt like hell and not leave you crippled or maimed for life though.

With the last reports that I had gotten from Orgrimmar in regard to the martial law they have invoked there, I wonder just how bad things are?  Does Hellscream realize how much trouble he is in?   Knowing of him as I do, I doubt that he even thinks there is that much of a problem and doesn’t realize that he has all of the races up in arms now about how he has handled things.  I think that his days of sitting around as the Warchief are surely numbered and it will be a blessing when they come to a close.  The next big question will be whom will take over the reins again. 

Whomever picks up the reins after Hellscream is gone is going to have a tough go of it.  I know that some of the people are hoping that Thrall will come back and take over the leadership, however, I have a strong suspicion that that is not going to happen.  I just know that it is going to take years to undo the damage that Hellscream has done to his people, all races, not just the Orc.  Also, I think that it would be rather doubtful that the Orcs would ever follow anyone other than an Orc because they are bit biased that way. 

Maybe now is a real good time for all of us to step as far away as we can from the Horde and let the calls fall where they will.  I don’t think that I have ever seen the faction so fragmented and disorganized as it is right now – at least, not in my lifetime.

Well, it’s time for me to get dressed and slog over to Dawnglory’s farm and check on things to make sure that Jogu is doing what was asked of him.  I can’t understand why Dawnglory picked Jogu out of all of the people in Halfhill to take care of the farm while he and his lady are away.  It’s not like he has a chance of rehabilitating the poor fellow or another because he’s too far gone as a drunkard.  Oh well, a promise is a promise and I will keep an eye on things.

Fnor Morningstar

Hide ‘n’ Seek

June 28th

Dear Journal,

I know that life is supposed to be serious most of the time; however, there are times that I just have to break away and get into some good old fashioned fun.  I am too darn young to walk around all serious twenty-four seven.  I know that I have my responsibilities to attend too and I have to be careful with my relationship with Kae, however, there are times that a guy just has to break out and get silly.

After making sure that my Mom and Dad were okay, I had to cut loose for a while and I did just that.  Yes, I met up with my friends from Stormwind and we had the best time in Stormwind.  It was just for an evening and there was much fun to be had – some drinking, some women to be flirted with when we had the chance and so on.

Well, who would have thought that a bunch of adults would do something as silly as we did with a child’s game of “hide and seek” – well, we did and I’ll admit that my sides were aching from laughing so much.  The rules were pretty simple although they weren’t all that clear, however, I just kind of figured that it wouldn’t be too nice to hide inside a building where you couldn’t’ be easily seen. We had to give out clues as to where we would be hiding and let the others try to figure it out. Oh, we also had to stay within the confines of Stormwind proper.

Oh, that first one had me running all over Stormwind and I’m sure that a lot of the population thought that they had a Night Elf suffering from a case of madness or just had gone off the edge.  Searching every place that I could think of that I thought might be a good place to hide really gave me no help.  Nope, the girl didn’t hide where I thought she would and when she was found, it was so obvious that that it made me start laughing.  I was trying to make the game much more difficult than it was supposed to be.

Add a few mugs of beer to the game and it got to be even more fun.  I know that I should be ashamed of myself, however, I’m not – I needed to just feel that freedom that I had when I was a young boy in Shattrath.  You know the kind of freedom that you can only have as a child. Of course, I’m not sure that I drank that much beer when I was a young boy, however, I think I am making up for it now – the only thing missing from the game was the dwarves from Ironforge with their special brew – however, we might have all been falling down drunk by the end of it.

I finally got my turn and I will have to admit that I thought I was being pretty easy to find – gave out my clues, lay on the ground and watched the clouds pass overhead and watched the night start to move in.  It did seem like a good long time before I was finally found, however, that was part of the game that made it fun.  Give out some real evasive clues and hope that people will spend some time looking for you.  Yep, had a great time and had a great headache the next day but it was well worth it.

I think one of the fun things that we did was to keep hugging the poor baby panda and taking the bamboo shoots.  It was fun running around in “disguise” as a baby panda especially in the Cathedral area where all of the real “serious” folk gather to discuss their issues of the day or to even create any.  I had a good time trying to get different people to pet me and some of the ladies were rather attractive for humans.   Of course, our ring leader found the most available and the most attractive Night Elf female standing there all alone and lonely.  Damn his time!  I wouldn’t have minded getting picked up and held in those arms either.  Of course, he had to do his panda growl and all that nonsense, so, rather than get into a baby panda wrestling match or even flipping back to our normal selves – which would have been embarrassing as anything else could be – we’d have been very easily recognized.  The whole night wad just fun and I needed to laugh for a while and feel like life is really worth living.

Of course, Kae was none too pleased with me dragging my behind home right before dawn and still kind of drunk too.  Good thing that she has patience and maybe next time she will come with me.  I swear that woman needs to learn how to play and not be all “grown-up” all of the time.  It’s fun to act like a kid again even if I do have the adult responsibilities to go with it now.

Naturally, I have a bunch of chores that need to be done here on the farm today, like weeding, chasing vermin or having them chase me – it’s always questionable as to what really is going on sometimes.  I also need to sneak over by Dawnglory’s house to find out what is going on too – there were all kinds of weird noises coming from the house this morning when I got up.  Oh, never mind, I think I know what those noises were; I’ve made a few of them myself.  I wouldn’t mind meeting that woman that is staying with him these days, she’s pretty attractive as far as Blood Elf women go, a little short in stature and less endowed than Kae is, however, she’s still nice to look at.  Hey, if Kae can look at Dawnglory and my Dad, I can look at Dawnglory’s woman if I want too, I’m not dead yet and it doesn’t hurt anything to look.


Life Isn’t So Bad…Even If You’re Kind of Dead

June 27th

Dear Journal,

There has to be a way to annihilate virmen without having to do the two-step dance through your rows of plants.  Honestly, about the time that I think that I am done with my weeding and ready to settle into some real harvesting – here come the virmen.  Oh, I’ve come to expect some of the shenanigans of these pesky little creatures, however, I’m one of those people that like to get up early in the morning and get my field work done before the heat sets in.  So, I’m usually like one of those people that stumbles over everything when they are trying to be quiet – of course, with these little things jumping out of the ground, it goes for making some loud noise.

I know my sister has stumbled to the front door a few times to make sure that I wasn’t killing off the neighbors or some such thing.  Once she sees what I’m doing, she usually turns around and goes back to bed.  Luckily for me, she hasn’t seen me get knocked on my backside a few times because I would never live that down.

Here I am a great big hulking Tauren to start with and then add the Death Knight business and I should be rather formidable, however, these virmen creatures are no respecters of height or girth.  I know I shouldn’t notice getting knocked down, however, after getting tangled up in my own tail a few times, I’ve taken to tucking the thing in my belt loop for safe keeping. 

Oh, I know that my sister, Mahamura, is very happy with the idea of keeping the farm going here in Pandaria along with the new found freedom that we have, however, there are times I do miss charging into battle and letting my Rune Blade sing it’s song.  Oh yes, I do get away from the forge now and again and take part in some rather heavy duty fighting because I know a few Death Knights and we do like to stick together sometimes. At least people don’t act like they are absolutely petrified of a Death Knight up here in Pandaria, a few even act as if they are pleased to have us around.

We did get home long enough to go to the Faire with Mom, Nahai and Tahfal.  I will have to admit that I had more fun this time because we had no set schedule to keep and we didn’t have to scurry back to Pandaria so we could dance to some Orc’s tune.  Nope, we stayed several days and I got to work with some of my old friends at the forges for a couple of days. Yep, I’m still the A-Number One fellow for fixing the cookware that people just refuse to replace. I turned out one good set of armor for one of the Light Walkers in Thunder Bluff and I think that the word will get out that I do come back to visit now and again. 

It was fun at home, it was relaxing and I felt more like myself than I have in years.  Of course, I’ll never be the same fellow that I was before the change, however, I just felt good about being there.  At least I didn’t hear the whispers that were real common when I first came back – you know, people actually praying to the Earth Mother to protect them from the demon walking in their midst.  Guess, they got over that or that particular group has moved on to another place to live. 

I know that my Mother always tries to spoil me with her “special” treats when I’m there.  I have told her countless times that I don’t eat food like I used too, however, she doesn’t want me to lose weight.  Fat chance of that ever happening and I won’t age either – she just thinks I’m still her oldest son.  Pine nuts, she can make the best pine nuts in the world – cakes, ground pine nuts to put over your other food for extra flavor and her best yet are the baked ones that she lavishes plenty of oil and salt over.  Yummy! Yeah, I’ll eat those even though I know that there is a price to be paid eventually for overindulging in that sort of thing when you don’t have the best digestive tract in the world anymore.   Maha has tried to make them a few times but they just aren’t the same as Mom’s food.

I know that I am enjoying being able to use the forge here at the farm and I’ve actually gotten a few orders for new armor as well as doing some repair work on some other stuff.  Honestly, one would think that some of these people would at least know how to clean their gear better.  I do charge extra if I have to clean gore and other unknown substances off the stuff before I can work on it.   I know I’m “dead” in the true sense of the word and carry my own brand of diseases with me, however, you never know what you might catch from some of this stuff I’ve dug out of the armor.

I do get to see more of Mr. Morningstar since we’ve been staying in Pandaria and I will have to say that I never realized what a nice fellow he can be either.  Oh, yeah, he’s the Boss and all that, however, he didn’t have to set us up the way that he did here.  He got us out of the service and he could have left us with our own devices as to how we were going to make a living, however, he chose to make sure that we were well settled here in Halfhill.  He knows the rest of our family and he probably realizes that we’ll have the rest of the clan up here before he even has a chance to realize it.   Yep, he’ll have the whole herd up here before he even knows it.  I know Mom would love it up here and she can sit on the front porch all day if she wants, or go visit with the people in the market too.   She’s a sociable old thing and I know that she will make new friends up here – she thinks the Pandaren are just too cute, even if they are fuzzy and they talk funny.

I don’t know why I am so damned happy today but I am.  Even if my day did get started off on the wrong foot, getting rolled around in the dirt by a little fast vermin is just a small thing, pardon the pun.  At least I didn’t hurt myself and the scarecrow is still in an upright position.  I wish if we were going to have the darn thing that it was sturdy enough to hold someone upright that is my size when you grab it.  I’ve put a few extra braces on it and done some other shoring up on the foundation a bit to see if it will hold my weight.  There’s nothing like losing one’s dignity to little virmen first thing in the morning.

I am looking back in my journal; it’s been a while since I’ve written anything down in it.  My how my life has changed for the better since I got away from Hellscream’s bunch and have a life to live as my own again without anyone trying to give me, of all people, orders to do anything.  I’m here with my sister, she’s happy with things being the way they are.  No one realizes what freedom really is until they sign up with a bunch of Orcs running the show.  Yup, there are a couple of those Orcs that won’t be yelling at anymore Tauren or anyone for that matter and my blade seemed to be well-fed for quite a while.  I doubt that anyone would miss a few more Orc roaming around the countryside; however, I’ll have to keep that to myself because I’m sure the authorities might get a tad bit upset about it.

Well, its daylight enough to where I can fire up the forge and start “banging away” as my sister puts it.  I have quite a few pieces to work on this week and I’ve promised to have them done – plus, I need to get off the farm and do some more mining.  Wish that Tahfal was up here to help with the mining, that little fellow can sure gather ore like no one I’ve ever seen amongst the living.

Naton “Sadheart” Cloudhoof


It’s About Damned Time…

*Blunt Language and some swearing – please don’t read if you’re easily offended by this*


June 26th

Yo Book!

I don’t know why I was so fucking afraid to tell Romy how I felt about her because it wall turned out well.  I know that I have been sweating and worrying myself to death with the thoughts of having her walk out on me after I told her that I loved her.  I think its love; it has to be because it can’t just be lust – that usually wears pretty thin after a month of two and the fucking feelings that I have run a lot deeper than just a roll in the hay.

I know that we decided to meet at the Jade Temple last night when I finally broke away from the base camp for a while.  We have both been so damned busy packing and getting things set up so that we can leave for Northrend.  Well, at least now we don’t have the damned time limit as to how long we can stay there either – that’s another story that I’ll get too in a minute.

I had been out scouting around the Temple a few times and had found a nice little spot where we could sit down and actually talk without fear of interruption or getting fucking sidetracked by another romp in the bed either.  We needed to sit down and talk to clear the air of the tension that had been building between us for the last couple of weeks.  I know that I was afraid that if I said anything wrong that I would scare the woman off.  Neither one of us is overly fond of the idea of a formal marriage or anything like that nor do I know that we would both have taken off like scared fucking rabbits or something if someone said those words to either one of us.  Anyway, I had found this spot and it was going to be the place where we aired the family laundry so to speak.

I could tell that Romy was as nervous as a cat walking a tightrope over a river and I asked her what the problem was.  I had almost thought now that she was feeling physically better that she had rethought her decision to live with me and wanted to leave, curtailing our relationship in the process.  Well, come to find out, she had been having the same feelings that I had had over that last few weeks and the same kind of fear.  We were both afraid that one of us would leave after our feelings were disclosed due to our own passed experiences.  I know that I was very nervous about what she was going to say and when she finally got it all blurted out, I could feel the relief going through my body like a tidal wave.  I know that she really must have felt the same way when I confessed what my feelings were towards her as well. 

I don’t know why in the hell this was so hard to talk about.  By the Light! We have talked about all kinds of things that would have had other people blushing and some of them actually running away.  I mean, we even talk about what positions we like to do in bed and when we like to just do other things when we’re in the bed.  I’ll admit that some of them have been rather inventive and quite pleasurable to the two of us.

We’ve talked about her family and their sexcapades and we’ve talked about my lack of family and how that would impact her Silvermoon connections. It sounds like her Dad; even with all of his supposed dignity was quite the rounder when he was alive and able to nail everything that lay down long enough.  I suppose that Romy may have more half-siblings that she might even know about. I’m sure that even as a Death Knight that his libido isn’t exactly silent either – I’ve heard tales about those Death Knight guys going at it for days.  Whoa!

I’m sure happy that we had a chance to air this personal laundry before we left on our trip to Northrend because I am sure that it would have put a damper on things with that underlying current to deal with.  At least she knows that I love her and that I am not planning on taking off anytime in the near future if ever.  I know that I have never been happier in my life with someone living with me – well, this is the first time that I have actually had someone living me like this for any length of time.

I’m sitting here this morning and watching her sleep, I am sure that she is pretty well worn out and needs the extra sleep because we were quite active last night.  She wants to start a family as soon as possible, I think, and we were going at it hot and heavy for several hours last night.  I know that neither one of us is going to moving along at a fast clip today, so many muscles are still aching in my body right now that I would almost sell my soul for an hour or two in the hot springs.  Oh, I have no real feelings about starting a family right now; however, if it makes her happy, then it will make me happy as well. Oh shit, not to mention that it might make her family shut up about needing to increase the family bloodline. 

Oh, when I was in Krasarang yesterday, Fnor and I had a nice long talk.  I had heard about the attack that he had undergone in the Jade Forest, there was no mention of Amyn being hurt with the reports that I had heard, naturally.  However, I found out that Amyn had been hurt very badly, they lost a child that she was carrying and that Fnor had gotten her to agree to go stay with her parents for a while to recover. 

Well, that was a huge shock for me with just that news.  The next bit of news that he gave me was even a greater shock because he had decided to leave the Rangers and go back to running the business again, like he has always done in the past.  I’m a business partner with Morningstar Enterprises and have had an active role with the firm all of these years and I sure as shit didn’t want to get stuck getting promoted to the new Commander when he left.  I sure as shit didn’t want to serve as a commander under Hellscream’s leadership – besides, I’m sure that people have figured out that I am not overly fond of that asshole anyway.  I know that if I saw the bastard getting attacked, I’d probably stand around and watch and root for the people attacking him – that kind of narrows down my feelings on the subject, I think.

Of course, I ‘m used to making life decisions on my own and didn’t realize that maybe I should talk to Romy about it before I fired off my resignation to take effect immediately.  Luckily for me, she was having the same thoughts about leaving the Rangers as well, which means that I will be firing off her resignation while we are on our trip.  I can’t see why they would get turned down either and I am prepared to buy us both out if I have too.  If there is anything that appeases the assholes in Orgrimmar, it’s money.

I will have to start thinking of someone else other than myself sometimes, fuck, that’s going to be an adjustment that is going to be hard for me.  I’ve always been one to run free and not really care too much about others except for my baby sister. 

This reminds me, I need to take some time to go see her in Silvermoon when Romy and I are visiting her family.  Felessa’s wedding is at the end of the summer and I am sure that Agatha has everything under control there along with all of the crap that is going on with Faendra’s wedding around the same time.  I know girls like to have all of those parties and they like to get to know the families that they will be joining on a permanent basis.

I am in hopes that when the girls meet Romy that Faendra won’t make a scene of any kind.  I know she’s had this obsession or crush on me for a long time, however, she because she wants something to happen doesn’t mean that it will.  I know that Romy will be able to handle the situation regardless of how Faendra acts, however, I don’t know if I will be able to control my temper if Fae makes some stupid comments. 

Poor Felessa will go along with whatever I have decided to do because she knows that I have her best interests at heart. I also need to make sure that she has sufficient funds to help her get her dresses made and the other things that girls need for weddings. Romy already knows that I am arranging a wedding for my sister and she hasn’t really said much about it, I wonder how she really feels about it.  I might have to ask her about that before we arrive in Silvermoon, I don’t need to get blindsided by her feelings if they are negative.

Damn, I don’t know how I got so lucky to find a woman like Romy.  That chance flirtation in Orgrimmar in front of the Auction House has really grown into something that I never expected.  I know at the time that I was thinking that it was going to be one of those rolls in the hay and off I’d go, however, this woman has captured my heart.  Funny how the Fates have seemed to intercede and to make my life better and I hope that Romy feels the same way too.

I just hope that things will continue on a positive note and that we can find the happiness that we both want so badly.  If we happen to have kids, so be it and if we don’t, we can enjoy the time trying.

Crap, with all of the changes going on, I need to find out how much longer Fnor will be in Pandaria for the time being.  I know that he had promised to keep an eye on Jogu and the farm; however, with everything going on, he may not be here either.  I suppose that I ought to see if I can get in touch with Fnor’s kid and see if he might be able to keep an eye on things or something.  I just don’t want to delay the trip with Romy any longer than I have too.  I suppose I could do some asking around to see if I can find someone that won’t steal me blind.  I know Jogu does a great job here on the farm unsupervised for a few days, I just wonder how he will handle things for a couple of weeks?

Fnar Dawnglory

Owner of Plantation

Halfhill, Pandaria




Learning to Make Changes…Accepting Families

June 25th

Dear Journal,

Kal and I thought that we would give ourselves a treat and head to the Vale for a nice dinner and some socializing away from the Sentinels for a while.  It was a nice change and it wasn’t all that expensive and we didn’t have to cook.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, we both like t cook, however, one does need a change of pace now and then so that you can appreciate your own cooking more.

I was sorely distressed when we walked outside and looked over the Vale and saw what the Horde have done to this beautiful place.  I don’t know if I want to cry about it or just want to go kick some serious Horde butt. This place was always tranquil and the beauty was such that it would soothe your soul almost as much as being near a Moonwell.  Now, it has been trashed out by those greedy Horde and their little goblins are scurrying everywhere digging up the ground like there is no tomorrow.  It sickens me not only on a personal level but on a spiritual level as well.

Kal seemed to understand what I was talking about because he took my hand and kissed it as he put his arm around my waist and squeezed me closer.  I think that the destruction of this place upsets him almost as much as it does me, however, he’s seen more of this sort of thing than I have with his experiences in Outland.  I know that the Pandaren have got be upset with this destruction and I hope they kick the Horde out of here.  I know that sounds childish on my part but I don’t understand why the Horde feel the need to destroy the beauty of this land because that fool Warchief of theirs has nothing on his mind except for power and greed. 

I remember the destruction that they have done to our homeland all too well.  The destruction of the forests wherever they thought they could get a foothold and the destruction of anything that was beautiful.  Oh, Ashenvale and the constant barrage from the Horde camps always makes me angry whenever I visit the area.  I won’t even think of the atrocities they’ve committed in Stonetalon.  At least we have been able to keep them under control somewhat in Feralas.

Kal has been talking about taking a trip to Darnassus since his Mother left and going on to Dolonaar to see his little brothers and his grandparents.  Oh, I’ve met his grandparents before years ago and actually lived with them for a few months as I was fostered from one home to the next.  I doubt that they remember me, however, I remember them as being extremely kind and giving people.  I think he wants to “present” me to them as someone that he is involved with.  I don’t think that he has ever done that before and he is acting like a little schoolboy about it. I suppose that I will have to relent and do something like that for him because it seems important to him and it will also give him a chance to speak with his Mother away from his Father, which might not be such a bad idea.

I know that his Father was talking about leaving the Rangers and going back to running his own business again and wants his Mother to do the same, however, I hope that doesn’t mean that Kal will leave too.  I can’t leave the Sentinels, it’s all I have ever known and it’s the only place where I feel like I belong because I’ve never known anything else.  I have no idea how I would act with things just being free to do whatever I want – all I have ever known is my duty, patrols, scouting and the set routines that we have.  I don’t know what I would do if those things were taken away.  Yes, I care about Kal very deeply, however, there is nothing formal between us, we’re not mated and we haven’t even discussed that yet.  I don’t know what to do.  I guess there isn’t any reason for me to worry about it now because nothing has been said outright that Kal would leave his duties with the Sentinels.

I know that Kal is very heavily involved with his family and if I am going to spend any time with him at all, I will have to adjust to that and I can do that.  I’ve still never met all of them yet, however, they seem to be nice people.

I have to admit that I am more than a  little bit worried about the changes that might be coming for us because I don’t know any other life than the one I have had.  I guess that I will have to put my faith in Elune and hope that she guides me down the right path.  I would hate to lose Kal and if there came a time that I had to make a choice between Kal and the Sentinels, I already know which one I would take because my heart has led me to this man.



Memories of Days Gone By…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

June 24th

Dear Journal,

Well, Amyn should be well on her way to Dolonaar now and I hope that she will take the time to heal properly there with her parents and the little guys.  It will be a good change for her and I think that one she longed for, even if her stubborn pride wouldn’t allow her to verbalize it.  She misses her homeland and I can’t say that I blame her because I’ve visited many times, although in secret for obvious reasons, and I do love the tranquility of the place.

I see that the Fire Festival is going full swing in Pandaria this year.  I can’t recall it happening last year though, which could mean that I was too busy to take note of it.   I know that it brought all kinds of memories flooding back to me.  Of times long past and of things that were more than a little bit of fond memories.

I can remember the days when I had hired myself out as a body guard to the Bright Moon Faire group and the traveling that we did.  It was truly a lot of hard work and probably not as much fun as my mind is telling me it was now.  However, I do recall those times with a smile on my face and I can almost smell the campfires and the food cooking – oh, we were notorious for scavenging food when we needed too and sometimes getting a little light fingered around some of the areas we were traveling through – however, they were good times.  A more light hearted time where we were there to entertain people and take some joy from that.

Oh, we had quite a few people that hadn’t ever run the Fire Festival circuit in our band at the time and as I recall, Astey, the Ring Leader for the band decided that we should all take the rest of the group through the trials.  Oh, we had so much fun and probably drank too much to even be traveling as swiftly as we were, however, a mage or two with easy portals made the travel time not as lengthy as it might have been if we were doing it completely on ground mounts.  Naturally, I had just purchased my first bike and it was used quite a bit to transport some of the people that weren’t exactly geared for this kind of adventure.

I even remember the young priestess that road with me most of the way and what pleasant company she was and quite lovely to gaze upon.  It never hurts if they are pretty and have a pleasant personality.  Had I not already been involved with someone at the time – not Amyn, one of my Sindorei escapades, I might have given her a tumble. Oh well, we had fun and even if she did get scared badly enough to where she wet the sidecar on the bike, it was still fun – the cleaning wasn’t so much fun.

I know that we hit every single fire in Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms.  Oh the thrill of power riding through the streets of Darnassus was a thrill and I don’t think that the guards were expecting quite a large band to run through there to go whiz on a fire and not attack any of the royalty there.  I remember quite a few arrows being fired at us and the glaives would go flying by your head just close enough to make your ears collapse down as close to your head as possible.  Oh, the adrenalin was definitely flowing freely.

Our trip to the Exodar was really one of stealth and it was hard to keep things in order because we had had too much to drink and I know that we were in fear of giving ourselves away with our giggling, however, the proper dousing of the flames was accomplished even if a few of us kind of missed the first boat because were laughing too hard and fell off the dock as we were leaving.  Thank the Light for a sober mage that was there with us to save our behinds that time too. It’s hard to find a good battle mage these days.

Stormwind was a real challenge for us, however, we got the job done.  I know I have never seen so many Sindorei bare bottoms in my life because we had the people hike up their garments or drop them, whatever might work for the persons involved and get as close to the flames as they could while the rest of us occupied the guards.   We had quite a few rogues with us that were able to keep the guards pretty busy with their stuns and whatnot – it was awesome.  The poor priestess that was riding with me caught the flat side of a blade on her rump and was busy lamenting her sore behind for most the trip after that as well.  Naturally, we had to hit Goldshire, just to shake up the country folk and what was really hysterical was the fact that most of the people in the township were heading to Stormwind to protect the bigger city from our whiz attack that they practically left the doors open to Goldshire and beyond.

Ah yes, those were the days before we could take our flying mounts everywhere under the sun and had to make most of our traveling by ground or by using the benevolent services of our mages.   Oh those were the days when people didn’t take everything for granted and didn’t have the conveniences that we have today.

I wish we could bring those days back again.  You know where we all laughed and worked together as a team to have fun.  Now, people are too busy taking care of their individual needs and desires more than they are of working together.  Such a shame that times have changed for the worse that way.   I just know that I can look back on those times and smile at the fun that we had.

I can even remember hiring myself out to a mercenary group for a day or two and standing in the courtyard of the Undercity while we waited for the Alliance to come stumbling in to douse the flames in the courtyard.  It definitely was like shooting fish in a barrel because we just had to wait for them to pop out of the gates and dash towards the fire.  I remember standing there with a Death Knight, a Paladin and a Mage for about four or five hours and just stacking up the corpses.  We actually got awards for defending the city that day too, can’t see how that was a major defense, we were just having fun and keeping the flames burning. Naturally, there was a lot of drinking and joking between us even when we had to chase down this little irritating gnome that wouldn’t give up, no matter how many times we’d chase her away.  Stubborn little imp.

Oh Light!  If my sons knew half of what their Father did back in those days, they would probably hide their faces with embarrassment.  I wish they could enjoy the things that we did back then, the camaraderie that was built over time, not these haphazardly thrown together groups that don’t know what it means to be loyal to their friends.

Ah yes, those were indeed carefree times and ones that we thought would last forever.  I know that I haven’t seen any of the people from the Faire group in years and the mercs I ran with must all be dead by now.  Those were good times.  Those were times when we didn’t have to answer to the call of a mad man sitting in Orgrimmar and we could live our lives as we saw fit – those days will come back again sometime soon, I have a feeling in my bones about that.

I have already decided that if I have to force my resignation through the channels in Orgrimmar, I’m going to do it.  I’m done fighting a war for an idiot and for his greed.  It may cost me every single penny that I have in my possession, however, I’m done.  No more jumping at the orders from Orgrimmar, no more working on jokes of peace treaties that are broken before they even have the ink dry on them.  No, I’m done.  I’m going to take over the reins of Morningstar Enterprises again and run the company like I have always done for years.  If Hellscream doesn’t like it, he can kiss my Sindorei rump.

I think one of the first things that I am going to do is to close the offices in Orgrimmar over time and move the main bulk of it to Shattrath again.  It wasn’t so bad operating out of that city even if it was a pain in the butt to get the traveling down to where all of our employees could make the trip there unhindered.  For those that can’t make the trip to Shattrath, there is still the little shop that we have in Booty Bay, I’ll just have to hire some more guards to keep the thieves out of the warehouse there.  Nope, I’m done, no more commanding troops, no more taking orders.

I think the incident with Amyn and I in the Jade Forest with the deserters was the icing on the cake.  Sure, I’ll continue to serve and honor my obligation to the Regent in Silvermoon, however, no more bullshit from the idiot in Orgrimmar. I’ll hire out as a mercenary to protect my standing with Silvermoon, however, that doesn’t mean that I’ll be out there fighting constantly like I am now – I’m done, I’m too old for this crap.

No, I’m not going to stand out in the middle of a field and declare my loyalty to the rebels either.  It is going to take time to get things sorted out with the Trolls and the Kor’kon, however, I will do everything within my power to assist the rebellion as much as I can.  I’ve been helping them all along, they just didn’t know where the supplies were coming from.

Now, if I can only talk my wife into leaving the Sentinels again, that would be a glorious thing. I think I can wheedle her into it by spending more time with her and not letting her think that I am off having all of the fun.  She can even travel with me most of the time, we will just have to use the caution that we have used in the past, making our camps in places where we aren’t going to be easily discovered.  We can do this, we can bring back the life we had even if we don’t have Dalaran anymore to live in together.

We have two beautiful homes in Shattrath and Nagrand, why let them sit empty and forgotten?  No, I think that it is time for the Morningstar family and the Shadowmoon family start living together as a family once more.  We can still maintain the properties here in Pandaria just like we always have, however, it’s time for the houses in Outland to be put to proper use again.  We have worked hard our whole lives to make our family a happy one and I’m not going to let some tick-headed Orc in Orgrimmar take that away from me any longer.

It’s going to be a while before I close down the offices in Orgrimmar, so, Zippie will have a job there for as long as it takes.  There are so many plans that I need to start putting together to make sure that the transition is done without ruffling the idiots feathers.  That means money, that means bribes, that means that we’re going to have to all pull together to get the task accomplished.  No, if I have to hand carry those little goblins to Shattrath, I’ll do it, they have made the company more money and have shown more loyalty to the firm than most of the employees other than the Cloudhoof Clan. 

I feel good about taking my life back into my own hands again.  I feel like a man again, not some idiot that is blindly following orders from Orgrimmar.  Now, I just have to make sure that I let Dawnglory know what is going on and he can make his arrangements to break away from the Rangers as well.  I’ll help him as much as I can and I hope he doesn’t get all hotheaded and just take off – he’s been known to do that sort of thing.  Plus, now he has the complication of his lady to think about too – might get a bit interesting there.

This also means that I will have to go to Orgrimmar and make the decision as to whether I am going to put Faendra through this arranged marriage in Silvermoon or not.  As adamant as Amyn is against it, it might behoove me to just eat the money I’ve already spent and cancel the whole thing.  I’ll have to wait and talk to Amyn again to see what her thoughts are.  Of course, I also need to see what Faendra’s thoughts are on the matter as well, she may have decided that a Silvermoon match is what she really wants instead of constantly mooning after Dawnglory.

Fnor Morningstar