Me…Nursing…I Kill Shit

June 10th

Dear Journal,

Well, I think the world has come to an end and someone never sent me the freaking memo. Ty said he didn’t get a memo either, however, he’s just as damned shocked as I am that I got a letter from my brother and two from my sister. Wonder what in the fel she’s wailing about now?

Seems Commander Morningstar and his lovely wife were attacked in the Jade Forest and injured.  Okay, if they weren’t doing that horizontal dance, they might have realized that they weren’t alone – silly things. I feel bad that Amyn got hurt, she’s a good sort for a Kaldorei and she did give the family some lovely kids that I can play Auntie too, as long as they behave themselves and I don’t want to lock them all in the closet – including the bigger ones too.

Anyway, Fnor wants me to come to Halfhill to help him take care of Amyn.  Must be pretty damned serious if he wants my nursing skills involved – I give nursing care like I grow plants, shit dies.  Oh well, I’ll go check things out.  How in the Light is he living with Amyn in Halfhill?  It’s supposed to be a neutral zone, however, I didn’t think it was that freaking neutral – oh well, it’s been a while since I’ve been there.

Ty and I both have some leave coming to us since we’ve been stuck forever here in this hellhole with a bunch of ignorant Orcs, trolls and few very questionable goblins.  I’m not surprised that Fnor and Amyn got attacked down here though – there is still plenty to do.  Lots of Alliance just wandering through like they were on a vacation picnic or something. 

Oh, we’ve heard all of the rumors about the crap going on in Orgrimmar with Hellscream and the Trolls, which is a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. Just kill the bastard and get it over with already.  I really think that the next Warchief should be a Death Knight – we don’t let our emotions rule us like these mortal silly folk do – we just keep the Rune Blades fed and we’re good to go.  Oh, Light! None of those arrogant imbeciles from the Ebon Blade!  I still think that a lot of them have their heads shoved up their hind parts.

I think Ty and I can afford to go to Halfhill for a while and help out, it’s the least we can do and I want Fnor to meet my fellow.  Yep, it’s official; we’re more than just best buds.  We finally figured out how things work and everything.

Oh, shut up, we were both virgins before we got changed into what we are now and we both were curious as to what all of these idiots were talking about.  Once we figured out that Part A went “into” Part B, it was smooth sailing although I’m not sure we did it right the first time because we were at it for a couple of hours before things happened – oh, how they happened!  Now, that we know what we’re doing, it’s pretty awesome.  We decided that things are a bit different for Death Knights with us being dead and all.

Now, I read the one letter from Faendra and really got pissed.  She’s still carrying a torch for Dawnglory and I wonder if she hasn’t got drop-kicked in the head or something.  If he was going to do anything with her, all she had to do was plop down and open up the shop and he would have taken to that like a bee to honey.  Oh no, she wants him to marry her and all that crap.  I have told that girl so many times that that is never gonna happen, not in this lifetime and it’s doubtful that she’ll get turned into a Death Knight, so move the hell on.  She also told me that Fnor has made arrangements for her to get married to some little twink mage in Silvermoon – well, if Fnor arranged it, there must be something in it that is good for the family business and family name.  So, I can’t see why she is being such a little bitch about it.  I hope she didn’t call Fnor some of the names she called him in this letter either because she would be spitting teeth if she talked to me like that. 

Oh yeah, and this bullshit about him not being our brother.  That’s exactly bullshit.  He’s been a brother to me all of my life and if it weren’t for him, I’d still be sitting in the mud in Zangarmarsh with my head up my ass. Nope, I think I’ll have a nice long talk with her and remind her of all of the things that he has done for us.  She wouldn’t have been able to prance around Silvermoon all dolled up and going to school there if he hadn’t of paid for it after our parents were killed.  Not to mention, he moved her scrawny ass to Dalaran where she had the best shot at the cream of the crop of men up there and all she did was hang out with Dawnglory’s sister and moan about how Dawnglory didn’t love her.  Kiss my butt!! Fnor may not have the same blood in his veins as we do, however, he is the only family that we have – not to mention, he dotes on her happy ass. He’s spoiled her rotten and I think that’s why she is acting like it now too.

I think after I get finished with my nursing duties in Halfhill that Ty and I will drop by the office in Orgrimmar to see Miss Thing and set the record straight.  Oh, not to mention, Ty has been making jewelry like there is no tomorrow and we could sell some of it off while we’re there – lots of jade crap. Well, I hope she’s in Orgrimmar and Fnor hasn’t shipped her butt to Silvermoon for all of the social shit that goes on before the wedding.  If she’s in Silvermoon, guess we’ll go over there so I can have a Felaran-to-Sister talk because I am going to set the record straight with that little girl if I have to break her neck to get my point across.

I didn’t even bother reading her second letter either; I just threw that in the fire.  I was already pissed enough with her that I didn’t need to read another whole letter about how her life is horrible and what a bastard our brother is and all the rest of the bullshit.   I just want to shake her and tell her to try being dead for a while and starting over again.

Oh, Ty is cracking up because I just broke my pen and had to get another one.  I told him what was going on and the only thing he asked me was if he could bring Fuzzbutt with us to Halfhill.  Shit! There are times that I think he cares more about that cat than he does me.






2 thoughts on “Me…Nursing…I Kill Shit

  1. ROTFL!! Oh that is least she’s honest to admit that she’s not the best choice in some matters,and I have a feeling ,where she would be more likely to give their sister a smackdown and set her straight.. Fae can’t say anything about Fel not being blood,Great read, definitely made my morning.

  2. Felaran really does have a heart of gold, for a Death Knight, however, she has little patience with people that are just wailing for the sake of being noticed. Nope, she’s not the one that I would hire to nurse anyone or babysit either because she gets annoyed with things – guess it’s her Death Knight side coming to the forefront. She will probably go check things out in Halfhill, leave Ty with Amyn while she makes a sidetrip to go kick her sister’s butt. Thanks for reading the blog and commenting.

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