Everything is …Okay

June 23rd

Dear Journal,

Well, I am sitting here somewhat relieved because I finally got to see my Mother with my own eyes to make sure that she was still alive.  I’ll admit that she looks a bit worse for the wear and the attack from the Orcs must have been a total shock to her and my Father.  I’m just happy that they both survived it and that Mom is going to be okay, even if it takes a little more time for her to get back to normal.

I had been banging my head on the wall of frustration because here I was within walking distance and even visual distance of where my Mom was and I couldn’t even go there to see her or visit with her.  I did see my Aunt Felaran outside a few times and she would wave and smile at me.  It just stinks that a family as close as we have been in the past can’t even speak to one another in this place or at this time for fear that someone will see us and turn us all in for being traitors.  That was the one thing that I enjoyed about living in Dalaran, no one really cared what we did and they accepted us even if they didn’t like it.  Of course, Shattrath is neutral and we grew up there, however, there was nothing to compare to Dalaran.

Kae and I had been in Halfhill for a few days after being out scouting for several days and I had known about my Mother’s injuries and to be honest, it was driving me wild with anxiety. I know that I really was at my wit’s end as to how I could see her.  Kae,  being as blunt as only she can with me, just told me to use my skills and get as close to the my Father’s house as I could and signal him, no one should see me in the middle of the night.  So, off I went, did my signal and there was my Dad standing there with a huge grin on his face.  Of course, not too far behind him was my Mother and I will have to admit that I almost burst into tears like a little boy.  Oh, we were well hidden by the trees and the farmhouse, so, we sat on the ground out there in the moonlight and just talked, almost like old times.

I did get the general impression that my Dad wants my Mom to leave the Sentinels again and I get the feeling that he is more than ready to walk away from his duties with the Horde.  It think this last little adventure of theirs pretty much put the icing on the cake of his life with the Horde.  He will always be Sindorei, however, as he calmly put it, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he is going to be Horde for life though because he had walked away from it before and he was ready to do it again with all of the things that have been going on in Kalimdor.

I can honestly say that I haven’t been back to Kalimdor or even to visit my grandparents in quite a while.  Well, not really since Winter Veil.  I see Vashlan in Stormwind when I go there with the contracts that Kae and I have filled and that’s about the extent of my adventures outside of Pandaria.  Oh, I’ve heard all of the tales of what is going on with Orgrimmar and Kor’kon guards everywhere and my Father confirmed that they weren’t just tales. 

That’s just awful that a Warchief could turn against his own people like that.  Oh, I know that the Alliance isn’t all sunshine and roses either, however, I don’t think that Varian would turn on his own people the way that this Hellscream has.  No wonder there is a rebellion going on. 

Oh,  I lied, I have been back to Kalimdor to deliver some supplies for the rebellion before it became public knowledge, so, a lot of the things that are happening now hadn’t changed the place as much as it has now.   I guess there are camps all over the place and the Orcs are killing or taking any of the Trolls captive that they suspect of being a part of the rebellion.  What a mess!  No wonder my Father is ready to walk away from it all, he’s ashamed of what has become of the Horde and how it has cost his own people many lives just for the name of greed and power of one man. 

I think that my Dad wants us to start looking for a nice place to settle here in Pandaria, away from everyone and just a place where we can be a family again.  That would be wonderful if there could be such a place.  Of course, with the way that the Horde is even destroying the beauty of the Vale has me wondering if there will be anything left of the Pandaria that we knew when we arrived.  I would imagine that the Pandaren are questioning the reasoning of why they allowed the Horde to come into their lands.

It was nice to see Mom again and I guess that she is going to actually go back to Dolonaar for a few days.  My Dad has made all of the arrangements and she should be going there in the next couple of days.  It think that it will be a good thing for her to get away from everything for a few days and to spend some time with the little guys and my grandparents.   I guess I could ask Kae if she would like to go back to Darnassus for a few days, I know that she hasn’t been back in a real long time either.  It might be fun and I would like her to meet my Grandparents formally. 

I know that I have to laugh when I think how close Kae and I came to meeting one another long before we came to Pandaria.  She fostered with my grandparents for a while and I guess she had met my Mother before, even if Mom didn’t remember it. It seems like the Fates were playing games with all of us.  With the way that Kae grew up, I’m sure that we probably know quite a few of the same people.

I will have to admit that now that I have seen my parents and I know that they are both okay, I can finally start feeling like things are going to be okay again.  That was definitely a few scary days there and I was really starting to get more than a little bit anxious about the whole thing.  Kae really was good about my outbursts and my rants about the fact that they were so close and we couldn’t just walk over there to see them.

I know that I was sitting here and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I could possibly end up having to take over as the head of the family and I knew that I wasn’t really prepared for it.  I haven’t lived as long as my parents yet and I don’t have their experiences to draw upon. I was really starting to freak myself out and for no reason, thanks be to Elune.  I don’t know how they do it, keeping their private lives, business and families separated from their duties as a Ranger and a Sentinel.  I know that I would have been sorely pressed to even attempt that sort of thing.  I think that I have found a whole new respect for what they have done in their lives.

I know that Kae and I went back to where my parents were attacked and we both ended up kind of smiling.  They weren’t the only ones that had been using that little house for rendezvous even if we were all very careful.  I’m really kind of surprised that we hadn’t run into one another there on more than one occasion.

Oh, Kae and I still go to the Jade Temple to swim in the pools and do some of our laundry occasionally even if there are more Orcs roaming around these days.  We feel relatively safe within the confines of the grounds of the temple.  It might seem a bit sacrilegious to some people, however, the monks don’t seem to mind our being there either.  I think that the Jade Forest will always be one of my favorite areas of Pandaria when all is said and done.  I wish we could find a place there where the family could settle, however, it’s still and entry point for the Horde as well as the Alliance for however much longer this war lasts.

I know it’s the only place where we can swim without worrying about something charging out of the bushes and attacking us.  Plus, there aren’t any of those crazed turtles trying to attack us when we aren’t looking either.  I know the last time that we were down there, I made a flower garland for Kae to wear in her hair and she looked beautiful. I think she really like it too because I found it pressed between two books on the shelf so that it would dry flat and she could add it to her keepsakes. I don’t know why women are so silly about such things sometimes.

To be exact, I ought to quit writing for a while because we have a picnic planned down at the Jade Temple anyway.  Yes, we’re just taking the day off and we’re going to go down there and relax in the peace and harmony of that place.  I still want to watch the monks and maybe get a chance to talk to some of them when they aren’t going through their exercises – the whole style of fighting that they use really intrigues me.



Starting Over…Living Alone

June 22nd

Dear Journal,

Did you ever have one of those days where you felt like things were not going to go right no matter how hard you tried to get it done?  Well, I’m certainly having one of those days.  Brianca decided to move back to UC without even so much as a good-bye.  Well, I kind of knew that was coming because she wasn’t all that thrilled with living in Orgrimmar to begin with, however, I was sure shocked that she just decided that she had had enough.  Think it might have had to do with the fact that she just doesn’t like Orcs and with all of these guards around, that was enough for her to take off.

I’ll definitely miss her and I will definitely be going home more often to visit her too.  I don’t mind living here alone but it was more fun when my sister was here so that we could talk together and just kind of be ourselves.  It sure is going to feel weird for a while to go somewhere to eat like the living do and ask for a table for one.  It’s not like I really mind it, however, it does make one feel a bit lonely.  Maybe I’ll find someone that will consider being sociable with me without thinking that I am going to take a bite out of them when they aren’t looking.

I’m just kind of sitting here at the house right now looking around and yep, she did take her coffin with her, that means she’s not planning on coming back any time real soon either.  I hope she only took the dirty laundry that was hers because I sure don’t feel like trying to do any shopping for stuff here in Orgrimmar and having to deal with some moron when I try to explain that I need this particular size of underwear – no, not a loincloth, there isn’t anything to hide in a loin cloth, I just like to feel like my bony butt is covered up, just in case.  If she was going to take anything at all, I wish she had taken the couch with the cinderblock under it because the one leg was missing.  Oh well, I’m not here to impress anyone, however, that side of the couch felt extra hard and we tried to sit in the middle or the other end and offered the hard part to people that stopped by.

Guess this means that I will be picking up some of the contracts that she left here because she had a few that were outstanding, however, I’ll talk to Zippie and make sure that I don’t have to pay any penalties for the ones that are over-due.  She’s pretty understanding as far as a goblin goes and she knows that I have been out there helping her try to find the Princess without the Boss finding out.

Hey!  A Forsaken can do a little blackmail too, you don’t have to be a goblin to think about stuff like that.  Sure, I’m not going to be as good at it as they are, however, I can still give it a go.  I don’t think that she wants me to let the Boss know that his kid sister flew the coop. It’s been a couple of weeks and we haven’t been all that successful with any of it either, however, I’m still putting in some time trying to find out things and that should be worth something.  Right?

I don’t see what the uproar is about, the kid didn’t want to get her butt shipped back to Silvermoon to marry some fellow that she didn’t even know.  I think that I would be a bit pissed off too.  I mean, if I were in that space, living and had hot hormones running through my veins instead of this sludge, I’d wanna pick the fellow that I intended to be with by myself.  I think Blood Elves are weird enough as it is anyway because they have all of this tradition crap and social ladders that they feel like they have to climb – no wonder they have a shortage of people running around.  Damn, I don’t think I’d want to fill out an invitation to get with a dude to make a baby.  Not that were possible considering my current circumstances  – I’m dead in that category, I’m Forsaken.

I will have to admit that I have noticed a few more Forsaken coming into Orgrimmar lately and that might be for a whole bunch of reasons.  Maybe more people are moving into UC to get away from the crap here in Orgrimmar.  I know that if business wasn’t so great, I’d probably think about moving back home too.   Can’t say that I have seen a whole lot of Blood Elves moving into Orgrimmar of late, maybe they have decided to stay in Silvermoon or maybe even Thunderbluff – who knows, they might be able to get past the smells in UC enough to where they can tolerate living there.  I just know that we don’t like it when places get too crowded and some of us have been known to thin out the population a bit now and again.

I was just thinking, I’ve never lived alone.  Bri and I have always been together, even before the plague when we were humans – we are sisters.  Now, that makes me sad because that means that I have no one left here in Orgrimmar to call family, just a sister that lives in UC now.  I suppose that this is going to be a real adventure now even if I don’t have anyone to share it with at the moment.  I hope that Bri will be okay in UC alone too because she’s in the same boat as I am, neither one of us has ever lived alone.  Maybe she’ll come back one day or maybe I’ll move back, who knows?





Enjoying Pandara…

June 21st

Dear Journal,

Oh, I wish that the war would just stop here in Pandaria.  I know that Naton and I are very happy with the situation that we have with the Morningstar’s and we don’t have to worry about doing any kind of military service any longer, however, it still makes me feel bad for the ones that are still stuck in the war machine.

I know that today after I did my chores here at the farm, I had time to go down and visit with my baby dragon.  Oh, she’s growing up so fast and it hardly seems like yesterday since I hatched her from her egg.  She’s so blue and her eyes just seem to glow and swirl around madly when she’s happy.  I just enjoy standing there watching her over the fence. 

Today was really exciting for my little girl and for me.  Well, I think she’s a girl; it’s so hard to tell. We actually got to take a couple of short rides for our training, which means that it won’t be long before I can take her out for longer periods of time.  I go down there almost every single afternoon and spend a couple of hours with her when I can.  Naturally, there are always chores down there to be done too because it seems like they don’t have enough people in the area to get everything done.  That’s okay; I don’t mind a little extra work.

I know that since we got away from the military, Naton and I have really enjoyed being in Pandaria a lot more.  Oh sure, we work hard on the farm, however, we also get to go wandering around the countryside exploring.  This is truly a beautiful land and I hope the war stops before they ruin it all.

Oh, we never forget the dangers that can still be lurking out there and sometimes we have stumbled upon Sha-infested beasts that we have put out of their misery.  At least the hides are good although we carefully dispose of the meat so that nothing else will get touched with the taint.  Poor animals act so miserable and not like they normally would behave.

Oh, we’ve gone fishing; hunting and have even tried some of that archeology stuff that Zippie was so crazy about back in Orgrimmar.  It’s a good way to bring in extra money that we can use to fix up the farm.  The faster we get the farm fixed up, the faster we can get Mom and the boys up here to live too.

I know that it felt good to be able to go home to visit for a few days and I did run into some of my old friends there and I think that everyone is upset about how things have happened in Orgrimmar. Well, it never was a great place to start with, however, since the Kor’kon have started standing guard over everyone and everything, it sure doesn’t make you want to stay there for very long at all.  Supposedly all of the construction is finished and it is still just as nosy and dirty as it ever was.  Naton and I didn’t spend a whole lot of time there at all even if we did stop at the Inn for some mead before we headed over to the Bluffs.

What is really weird about the whole thing is that everyone knows that there is a rebellion going on and some of the people act as if there is nothing happening and then you have the groups that are speaking openly of overthrowing Hellscream.  Well, we just stay away from the people talking about that sort of thing because we don’t want to end up in one of those prison camps that I am sure are out there somewhere.  Yes, Mom is right, if we don’t say anything and keep our heads tucked down, we can get through the city fairly quickly and avoid any trouble, which is what we will be doing anytime we go through there again.

At least now we can come and go as we want and we’ve even seen Mr. Morningstar a few times in the market place and he is always nice enough to stop and chat with us a bit even though he is a busy man.  The last time that we talked he said that he was thinking about opening an office here in Pandaria, which wouldn’t be a bad thing from my perspective because that means that we could get our contracts and deliver our goods here in Pandaria instead of going back to Kalimdor.  I think it would be awesome although Naton kind of wrinkled his nose at the idea.

I can’t say the last time that I recall things being so pleasant for us because it was so long ago.  I just hope that we can avoid the troubles here in Pandaria and just enjoy our lives as the Earth Mother intended.  I know that I am thankful every day that we are free from having to fight this fight that none of us really believes in.  From what I can see it’s one man’s greed that is driving the whole thing and with the people around that want to remove him from power, I’m sure that it will end soon.  I know that pray fervently every night that the war will end and our people can be as they were – I don’t even care who the new Warchief might be over the Horde, I just pray that it is someone that has more intelligence and isn’t one that feels compelled to kill everything that isn’t an Orc.

Oh well, time for me to get started on the farm chores so I can go see my little dragon this afternoon.  Oh she is going to miss me for a couple of days because Naton and I are going to go do some mining for ore so that we can open up the forge full tilt to all the people in Halfhill.  I know that Naton is anxious to get busy with that – he enjoys working at the forge and he enjoys talking to the people that happen to stop by for business or just to talk.  He really is very sociable for a Death Knight and people don’t seem to fear him like they used too in the past.


A Time For Change..

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

June 10th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here at the farm this morning trying to write in my journal and enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee.  These last few days have been an emotional roller coaster for everyone I think.  At least I can sit here with my leg throbbing slightly and realize that this was no dream that all of the events happened and we’re damned lucky to be alive and I think the Light and Elune for that.

I’m watching my beloved sleeping beneath the furs on the bed with just the top of head and her ears showing slightly and it does make me smile.  I know that it is going to be hell to pay to get her out of the farmhouse and to another place of safety with the way that there appear to be more increased guards in the area.  I’m very surprised at her rapid recovery after the healer told me that it would be weeks before she could really do anything, however, I don’t think that she knew my wife that well.  That is one stubborn and strong-minded Kaldorei to start with.  She’s still weak and she still isn’t completely healed, however, she is more like herself these days and anxious to get away from Halfhill again.

Oh, we have argued these last couple of days just like we have in the past about what it is that she should do and what I want her to do.  I would love for her to leave the Sentinels and go back to Dolonaar for a while and stay with her parents and the boys, however, she wants none of that.  Her reasoning is that if I have to stay in Pandaria, then, she is going to stay in Pandaria because she has her duty to fulfill to her people as I do to mine and she doesn’t want us to be parted again.

I know that she isn’t fit for active duty yet and I don’t know when she will be again; however, she is just as insistent her staying here in Pandaria as she was when we first moved to Shattrath.  Oh, the arguments we would have there when I would tell her that I had to go somewhere on business and she well knew that it wasn’t only business that was taking me away from her.  No, those days of her staying behind are over and I realize that, however, I don’t want her to get hurt anymore than she already has.

I’m still kicking myself for the stupidity of what happened in the Jade Forest.  Both of us were stupid and blinded by our own dreams of being together in such a peaceful setting.  We both knew better and this isn’t home, this is a strange land and there is a war going on.  Not so much a war with the natives of the country as it is the old warhorse of the Alliance and the Horde clashing over something stupid. We were both just lucky to walk away from that incident with the injuries that we reconceived.  If I had slept a bit more soundly or if I had been a bit slower in my reactions, this journal would have had no author and my children would have had no parents.

I’m sitting here trying to formulate another plan on how I can resign from the Rangers and get out of Hellscream’s grasp.  I want no part of this situation any longer.  I wasn’t happy with the orders when I came here and as time has gone on, I’m even unhappy.  I want to be able to resign and walk away from the war machine and still maintain my own personal life – the company and my family is tantamount in importance.  My next plan of attack on the matter is to see how much money it will take to buy my way out of the service.

I know that Dawnglory and his lady will be leaving on a well earned trip to visit her family in the next few days and will be dropping by Orgrimmar on the way.  I am going to try to talk him into taking Faendra to Silvermoon for me and putting her in the custody of our ever-faithful Agatha to take care of before the wedding.   I know that there will be many pre-nuptial parties and cotillions to attend and the young couple will get an opportunity to know one another a bit before the final ceremony and we’re running behind schedule on getting those things started. Oh, I know there will be hell to pay when Dawnglory shows up in Orgrimmar with Romy on his arm because my sister is definitely not going to like that.  I just hope that she will maintain the decorum and let her breeding rise to the surface and be a lady about the whole situation. I’m doing what I think is best for the family and for her.

I know that I dread the thought of having to make the trip to Orgrimmar as much as anything I have ever dealt with.  I have a second plan in place if Dawnglory doesn’t want to take Faendra back to Silvermoon and that is that I will have to leave Amyn alone here and do the task myself even if I am not exactly physically fit for that sort of thing right now.  I can manage to get one girl to Silvermoon and get back to Pandaria very quickly, I think.

I am getting more than a little bit concerned about the situation in Orgrimmar anyway.  It has been unusually quiet of late.  I haven’t gotten as many letters from my little goblins as I used to get and it’s almost like they have fallen almost silent. I didn’t get my usual glowing and bubbly financial report from Zippie last week and this week, I have heard nothing.   I did get to talk to the Cloudhoof in the market yesterday and they had recently returned from a trip to Thunder Bluff.  It appears that not only is Garrosh raping this land here in Pandaria; he’s also building up fortifications in the Barrens as well.  It’s only a matter of time before he finds all of the races turned against him.

At least Felaran and her man are here to help take care of things and to help with Amyn’s recovery.  I can at least put in an appearance at the base camp for a few hours each day without worrying about Amyn being alone.

I just made myself laugh a little bit.  I’m too busy and I don’t have “time” to die.  It’s not like I can add that to an agenda somewhere – it’s time to die. I don’t think that would work out well for any of the people involved.

I know that I have several meetings coming up that I will be expected to attend in Orgrimmar with the council and I’ve been able to dodge out of a couple of them by claiming duty in Pandaria as the excuse, however, I don’t know how many more of those I can pull off.  I just don’t want to even be in the same vicinity with Hellscream right now for fear of losing my sanity and putting a dagger in his throat. I honestly don’t think that I have ever hated a man as much as I do him at the moment – he’s everything evil that has represented the Horde in the past and I hate to see the faction being ripped apart by his insanity and greed.  

Fnor Morningstar

Worries and Rage…

June 19th

Dear Journal,

I’m in a bit of a quandary at the moment and I’m furious at the same time.  I got my Dad’s signal that he needed to talk to me as soon as possible.  Well, we were both in Halfhill and we can usually sneak through the back fields and meet there away from prying eyes. Since he doesn’t like to risk this activity unless it is of some importance, I knew that it had to be very serious.

The news he gave me set my mind reeling and my temper flaring almost out of my control.  It’s a terrible thing to say when you want to punch your own Father in the face.  No, I didn’t want to punch him parse, however, I did want to punch what he stood for – the Horde. I know that I have only gotten that angry once or twice in my life, however, to be standing there with my Father and just feel the rage run through my blood was almost unbelievable and I have never bared my teeth at him before and I know I’ve never hissed.

The news in a nutshell was that he and my Mother had been meeting in the Jade Forest in an abandoned house for quite a while since they aren’t free to do so publicly.  I guess that they had thrown caution to the wind after a while and never really paid much attention to things after that.  They were attacked and my Mother was almost killed by a couple of Orc deserters.  My Father was injured as well, however, he was the one that fought the Orcs off and got Mom to safety.

I don’t exactly call where he has her now as “safety” in any way shape or form.  He took her to his farm here in Halfhill and has a Sindorei healer attending to her.  He better know what he is doing because the wrong word to the wrong person could get both of them killed for being traitors. It’s not like he can just casually tell the healer  “Oh, you know my wife is a Kaldorei Sentinel and she has been injured and needs medical care.”  Yeah, right, that’s like running through a Horde headquarters waving a flag for notice. Dad assured me that the healer won’t say anything, however, that has just made me feel uneasy about the whole thing.  We need to get Mom out of there and to a place where she won’t be given away.

Dad was pretty badly injured and could barely walk and how he made it to the back fields is beyond me.  Apparently he took an axe to this thigh that runs from his grown to his knee and is in the process of healing.  I hope he didn’t reopen the wound climbing the fences between his house and our meeting spot.  I did help him back as far as I could without the two of us being seen.

Now, Kae and I are involved in this mess because Mom is supposed to be my cousin and I had to go tell her commanders that she had to go “home” for a few days without permission to take care of an ailing parent.  I wonder how many “ailing” parents a family can have in one year?  I know that’s the excuse that I used for my trip to help the rebels and left without permission. 

Kae knows that I am worried to death about my Mom because she is the glue that holds this crazy family together.  If anything were to happen to her and she died, I don’t know if the family is strong enough to hold together for very long.  Dad is Sindorei and he is very much in love with my Mother and I don’t know how strong he would be if she were to pass into the arms of Elune.

So, here I sit worried about the fact that my Mother could die and the fact that I may end up having to take care of the rest of the family in her stead. I’m praying as hard as I can for her to be okay because I will be lost without her. No, I’m not a Mama’s Boy, I’m just used to having her there as the one constant in my life. If she dies, the burden of holding the family together becomes mine and I’m not sure that I am ready for that.  I mean, there is the business in Stormwind to run to make sure that we have the income to support the family and then, there are my siblings and my grandparents to think about. That’s one heck of a responsibility to hand over to a fellow my age and it frightens the heck out of me.

I’m going to meet with my Father again very soon and talk to him about moving Mom to my farm or we can take her back to Dolonaar for a while until she heals up.  She would be better off with her own people to be honest.  That’s my opinion and one that probably won’t sit too well with my Father.  Plus, I’m selfish enough that I want to see my Mother with my own eyes to make sure that she is okay, this is not fair to be so close and yet I can’t go see her because of this political bullshit.

Kae keeps telling me to calm down and stop being so edgy, however, this is not her Mother that I’m worried about.  I know things haven’t been easy for Kae these last few days because I have been as unsettled as a cat walking on a tightrope over a pond.  I know I’m fighting my own inner demon of wanting to kill every single Orc that I see right now because I can just feel the rage boiling in me just beneath the surface.

Now, Kae and I have to leave Halfhill and go out on a scouting mission and I don’t want to go, however, it’s what I am here to do. Kae thinks that  it will be good for us both to get out of Halfhill for a few days and it might be.  I just want to kill something and let this rage get out before I lose total control of myself.




No Money…Alone In The Wilderness

June 18th

Dear Journal,

I suppose I ought to be thankful that I am still alive, however, I’m not that thankful about it considering that I have almost nothing left. I should have known better and I didn’t heed my own advice about traveling through this area unnoticed.  No, I had to ride my favorite mount with the tack that Fnor had given me for Christmas – all shiny and gold plated.  I shouldn’t have talked to so many people and let them know that I was traveling alone and not with a caravan.

I’m a bit battered and bruised right now, however, I do have my mount, no tack and the clothes on my back and my weapons that I found discarded on the road.  Yeah, I know, stupid girl!  I got robbed not even five clicks from Crossroads. I know my brother would be jumping for joy at the stupidity of my actions that got me in this mess. Now, I have no money, not a cent of the gold that I took because they took everything. Why they would want my jewelry and my hairbrushes is beyond me, however, they took those too. I’ve got my hair tied back with a strip of leather because they even took the combs out of my hair.  I suppose I should be thankful that they didn’t rape or kill me – I guess I must not be that good looking or something.

I know that I took a real good hit on my head and I don’t know what happened after that.  When I woke up in the brush, my clothes were partially off and my pants were left dangling on my leg and they had cut my undergarments away from what they were or might have been planning on doing. I wonder if something scared them away or what happened, however, I just know that I had myself a good cry while I was getting my clothes back on.

I found my journal thrown over in the bushes as well as a few other things that they apparently didn’t think they needed or could get gold for.  I just know that they probably couldn’t read the journal or I would have heard their laughter for miles.

Okay, I have my mount at least and that means I won’t have to be walking through the Barrens.  I have no food or water, however, I do have the means to get those with my own hands.  I’m not helpless and I do have a means to earn my way, however, it would have been so much easier if they hadn’t of taken my gold and my other things.  Now, I am going to have to earn my way and that is just not going to be fun at all.

Part of me wants to turn around and head back to Orgrimmar, however, with what I heard and saw in Crossroads, that might not even be an option any longer.  I guess the silly Trolls decided to go into some kind of open rebellion.  I know I am seeing more columns of Orcs out here now than I have ever seen outside of Orgrimmar.  Where were these wonderful guards when I was getting robbed and almost raped? Maybe that’s what scared them off. I know that it was six guys that robbed me, some Orcs were in that group and they might have been part of these guards or something.

I know the little girl in me wants to go back to Orgrimmar and suffer the consequences, I suppose. The woman in me is wanting the freedom that I now have even if I don’t have any money. I don’t want to have to face those little goblins at the office and I sure don’t want to face my brother right now because he is going to be furious that I ran away and probably spoiled all of his plans. It would be easy for me to go back, get sent to Silvermoon and run away again before the wedding too and I bet he doesn’t even think about that.

No, I don’t want to think about going back, that would be stupid on my part.  I know how to hunt and I know how to skin animals.  I should be able to make a good living doing that and the other things will come along in time.  I will admit that I am scared because I’ve really never gone out alone like this before in my entire life, however, my brother taught me well enough when I went out with him that I should be able to survive. I guess those family camping trips weren’t a total waste of time even if I did have to spend a lot of time with my half-blooded nephews – they are good kids, just not acceptable by society.

At least, now that I don’t have anything, I won’t have to be worried about getting robbed. I won’t be able to buy my way to Pandaria to be with my love like I had planned, which is the worst part of it.  I had planned on getting in with a group of mercenaries, if I could pass myself off as one, and make the trip that way.  It was a great plan and I had hoped to join up with the ones that I have heard about in Uldum – there are lots of mercenaries hanging out down there from what I hear.  They stay down there to avoid being conscripted by the Warchief, I suppose.

I know that I can’t help but sit here and cry a little bit because I know what I did wrong. I shouldn’t have been so noticeable with my possessions and I shouldn’t have talked to so many people.  I should have just stayed off to myself.  I didn’t do anything smart – the only thing I did smart was to get out of Orgrimmar before it got locked down and went under martial law.  I’m learning and I guess I’m learning the hard way too – things will just take longer to get done now and it’s my own fault.

A part of me wants to write to my brother and tell him I’m okay because I know that he might really care about what happens to me, then again, he’s probably too busy with that wife and the kids to even notice that I’m gone too.  Oh yeah, there’s a war going on that might be keeping him away from his family too, however, that’s his problem not mine.  I bet he doesn’t even know I’m gone yet.



Getting Stronger Every Day…

June 17th

Dear Journal,

Oh, I still don’t remember much about what happened with the initial assault by the Orcs in the Jade Forest, however, I feel as if every bone in my body was broken and they ache constantly.  The healer tells me that I have a few bruises and a few scrapes, however, most of my injuries are not visible to the naked eye.  Well, naked eye or not, they still hurt.  At least my head isn’t throbbing as badly as it did.

This is my first day out of bed and the first day that I didn’t have my husband dancing in attendance to my every wish and desire.  The poor man has been beside himself and he has his own injuries to contend with as well, poor thing almost got turned into an eunuch.  As much as he tries not to let me know how much pain he is in, I can see it in his eyes and the way that his face will pale and flinch now and again.  He has drugs for the pain, however, he refuses to take them because he wants to be aware of what is going on around him and he wants to make sure that I am being taken care of properly.

We were stupid about what happened and it was our own fault for dropping our guard down.  We were living in a Fool’s Paradise to think that no one would come by that little house.  We made it there without much trouble and there was nothing around to prevent anyone else from climbing the same pathway that we did.  My poor Sindorei feels that it was his fault and I keep telling him that it wasn’t just his fault, I should have been more aware too.

The one thing that is still lingering in my mind a lot is the fact that I was pregnant and didn’t know it.  Elune knows that I have been pregnant before and I know that I didn’t “feel” pregnant – there are things that give away the fact that you are with child and it has nothing to do with having morning sickness.  I know that I felt more fatigued than normal and had chalked it up to the heat and the rigorous scouting that I had been doing.   I know that I was thinking that with all of the working that I had been doing, the field work and the work around the farm with Kal that I was building up more muscles, yes, I had noticed that my breasts were a bit larger and I chose to think that the armor was a bit snug and that’s why they ached so much.  No, I was pregnant.  I hate it that we lost our baby, however, it is the will of Elune and she has a way of blessing us in her own way sometimes that we may not understand.

Yes, I have cried about the loss of our child as has my Sindorei, however, it may have been a blessing in disguise.  We have two sons together and two little boys that are need of care from both of their parents, much more than what we have been able to give them of late.  No, a child would have been a blessing at another time, however, with the war here in Pandaria and the unsettled times within the Horde, now was not a good time for us to take on that added burden. 

I know that I have had dreams about this baby, even though it was too soon to tell what sex it really was going to be.   In my dreams it is a little girl that looks so much like her Father that it is laughable – there would have been no denying that this child was of Sindorei blood.  Of course, in my dreams, she is no mere infant, she’s a headstrong child and as old as my youngest son.  Naturally, my parents are in the dream as well and they keep trying to tell me that they can’t take care of her in Dolonaar because of her appearance and that I would have to make other arrangements – silly me, a Sindorei child growing up in Kaldorei territory would have been impossible.   I know I always wake up at the same point in the dream when my Father tells me that I have to take her to the Barrens and leave her for some Ranger to find and take care of her.  Just like the way that things happened with my Sindorei and I – it’s sad and it still makes me smile at the same time.

Oh well, I’m sure that some day when the war is over and the Horde has decided to be more civilized than it is at the moment – we will have other children, possibly, possibly not.  It will depends on what the Light and Elune have in store for us.

I would love to be able to go outside and sit in the sun, however, it would present some rather awkward situations to the people in Halfhill, I’m sure.  My Sindorei’s sister is here to help take care of me while things try to get back to normal and I do appreciate her help, although she isn’t the best nurse I’ve ever had, it’s still appreciated.  I have to laugh because she brought another Death Knight with her, a man.  You have to understand that Felaran has never had a man in her life for very long and I guess that they have made things a bit more intimate now  – so, as she puts it – they are bunkmates.  She has the strangest sense of humor sometimes and I will have to admit that she made me laugh when she said she wasn’t going to die a second time being a virgin.

At least I feel like I am going to live now even if the healer has said that I should rest for several weeks.  Weeks!?!  I don’t think so, I’ll be up and around before my Sindorei and this healer can even think straight – I’m not some pampered Sindorei princess that has lain on a couch and eaten bonbons most of her life.  I’m a Sentinel!   I’m as weak as a kitten right now and there are times that my head will spin out of control, however, I’m sure that will pass quickly once I get to be more physically active.

My Sindorei wants me to go home to Dolonaar for a while to spend time with the boys.  He’s not kidding me, he wants me somewhere safe and out of harm’s way.  I’m sorry, my love, I am staying here in Pandaria, close to your side and I’m not planning on giving that position away to anyone else.  No, I am not going home and I won’t be coddled like some doll that you would have purchased in a store.  I will be fine and I will get to a Kaldorei healer that will give me the potions that I need to get on my feet faster.  I just have to figure out how I am going to make it down the stairs in front of the house without falling.

Oh well, it’s time for me to take another drought of that foul tasting potion and go back to sleep to dream more of those very strange dreams.  I’m sure that I will be well enough soon to go back to camp and I would like to see my son for a while.