Just Thoughts & Musings…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

December 9th

Dear Journal,

I did make a quick trip back to Silvermoon yesterday, signed whatever papers that needed my signature and hastened my departure back to Pandaria.  Oh yes, it was tempting to go stretch out in the bed and spend the night, however, I knew as soon as I did that I would be stuck there for at least another month.  Picked up a few contracts that I can fill myself up here as well as a stack of contracts that need to be approved or sent back to the customers.  I don’t usually run my business in absentia, however, it does kind of remind me how things used to be in Dalaran before Amyn and the boys moved in.

When we were in Dalaran, I would allow myself to be trapped behind my desk for a couple of days at most unless we were overwhelmed by things and then I’d stay longer.  I’ve allowed myself to become entrenched in Silvermoon and being constantly buried with the paperwork side of the business.  Zippie is fully capable of running things without me being underfoot, so, I am going to start letting her do that.

Staying at that desk for as long as I was killing me in more ways than one.  My heart wasn’t in it and I was longing to get away from the people more than I was even realizing.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I enjoy the creature comforts that there in the house, however, that one side of me that I have earned all of this fortune with was longing to be away from civilization.

Yes, Faendra is still out in the wilds somewhere in Kalimdor and I am still worried about her, however, it was her choice to run away from her responsibilities and work on her own.  I did get one letter from her at least, so, I do know that she is alive.  Of course, it wasn’t filled with her usual thing of how entitled she was to everything, it was showing signs that she is finally growing up and taking responsibility for her own actions. It’s about time. I guess Amyn was right when she said that I was being too overprotective with the girl and I was sheltering her too much, treating her like one of the Silvermoon princesses. She hinted very broadly for some money and a few other things and I had to harden my heart and ignore it.  It was her choice to turn down a good marriage in Silvermoon and become the hunter that she is now.

I learned how to live hand-to-mouth for many years and it made me the person that I am today, which, in my opinion, is not a bad thing. Yes, there are times that I am sorely tempted to ride out and find her, however, I think that would be a mistake on my part and she would unlearn all of the things that she is being forced to learn now.  Life is not to be taken for granted, you may have been born into a situation where things were infinitely better than they should have been and you threw it all away in a fit of temper – actions speak louder than words ever could.

Yes, my heart breaks at the thoughts of her going hungry at times and not having a proper roof over her head, however, it will make her a better person and more independent than she has ever been.  She had become extremely spoiled and her actions with others was definitely starting to show that. It is going to take me some time to forgive her for the things that she said about Amyn and our children. Yes, some of it was true, however, it was our choice and who was she to pass judgment on how we lived our lives that benefited her greatly. Our sons are paying the price of being mixed breeds, not her and they seem to have adapted to it.  Even the little guys, my two step-sons, have adapted to having a Sindorei step-Father.

I did stop at the Wanderer’s Festival last night on the way back to the farm in Halfhill and I will admit that it felt good to just to be able to relax a little bit.  I didn’t know a single soul there and still don’t because I wasn’t in the mood to talk.  I sat and drank by the fires, watched the lanterns being lit as well as enjoyed the beautiful night sky from the beach.

I was sorely tempted to stop by the old Ranger encampment to visit, however, that temptation was short-lived.  I knew that it was down to one third the size that it once was since the majority of the Rangers have been shipped to Kalimdor and the group left here in Pandaria are primarily in a holding pattern.  Besides, it’s none of my business as to what is going on there and I am not even sure if any of the Lt. Commanders that I worked with are still there or not.  I was just waxing nostalgic.

I think that I am taking the Pandaren saying of “Slow Down” very seriously these days and the rest of the world can do as they must.  As long as I am able to fulfill my obligations to the Regent, I’m happy with my lot.  Besides, if I can see my wife once in a while, I’m a happy man.  I’ll be happier still when we get the base of our business moved to Shattrath.   That will be my next trip away from Pandaria – I will kick that operation up to peak so that we can move out of Silvermoon for the most part.

Fnor Morningstar

 

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