Being With The One You Love…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

January 23rd

Dear Journal,

I will have to admit that I haven’t been this happy in quite a while, however, I know that it will be short-lived since Amyn and I both have to get back to our businesses again.  We finally were able to make the connection and make arrangements to go stay at the house in Nagrand.  It always seemed like heaven on Azeroth to me, however, these last few days have been amazing.

We haven’t had the opportunity to be together for such a long time and we have both taken a vow to not ever let it be this long again.  I think that we have made love for the last two days non-stop because we were so pent up with desire for one another.  To lay there and hold my Kaldorei in my arms and to feel her body pressed against mine almost seemed like a dream, however, each time I awakened, she was eager to prove to me that it wasn’t a dream and that she was indeed real.  I am happy that we both thought to grab some fresh fruit before we left Shattrath.

I have to laugh at the two of us because when we met in Shattrath, we started stripping our clothes off as soon as we got behind the closed door of the little house there.  I am indeed thankful that the children weren’t anywhere around because they would have been embarrassed at the antics of their two parents.  It was almost like it was when we first got together in the Barrens.  I actually think that the passion was even more heated this time though.  We spent our first night in Shattrath and left before dawn to make our escape to Nagrand.

There are no servants here in Nagrand yet, so, we have free rein in the house and it appears as though we aren’t planning on putting our clothes again for a while.  I know that Amyn brought us both some breakfast in bed wrapped in nothing but a sheet.  We both laughed as we ate our meal and didn’t stir from the bed.  Shades of a honeymoon, I suppose.

Amyn had made sure that the bed from Dalaran had been setup in our bedroom and that the drapes were hung to match – it almost seemed as if we were back in our old home with the exception of the animal noises and the view of the moons as the light poured in across the bed.  I swear it almost seemed as if we were both caught up in the same dream filled with lust, love and more passion than we have been able to show one another since we left Pandaria.

To be exact, we haven’t been alone nor have we been able to have these intimate moments since Amyn was wounded and I swear that she has become more the tigress with the way that she has been carrying on.  It does remind me of that young Kaldorei Sentinel that I first seduced in the Barrens all those years ago. I’m not sure who really seduced whom, however, I just remember those times vaguely and I am sure that I am looking at them through rose-colored glasses.

Unless you have come to love someone the way that I love Amyn, you would have no idea of the things that I am feeling.  When I am with her, my life feels complete and I feel as if I could live forever in her arms.  Oh, we’ve had our rough spots in our relationship, however, I think that those trials and tribulations have made our relationship even stronger. We tried living separate lives and we’ve even been with other people, however, we are drawn back together again because I feel that we were just meant to be – the Fates want us to be together.  We have our children that have helped to make our relationship stronger as well. Nothing bonds a man and a woman together stronger than the two of them creating a child together – we have two sons together and I couldn’t be prouder of either one of them.

I know that we were laying in each other’s arms last night and we both started laughing at the same time.  I guess we were both gazing at one another and could pick out the traits of our two sons.  Kaldor has my mouth and chin, Vashlan definitely has the shape of my eyes and, Light help him, my eyebrows – let’s not even go into the attitude about clothes and home decor. I think our sons are very handsome even if they are more like their Mother than myself with their Kaldorei body build.  I think that we can both be very proud of our boys.  As for my step-sons, they are very much like their Father from what Amyn tells me although she thinks that they have picked up a few tricks from their older brothers that would definitely mark them as being raised in a mixed race family – they both love clothes.

We were both supposed to leave here tomorrow morning, however, we have decided that we are going to stay a few more days and the proper messages have been sent.  We both have people that can take over running the businesses for a few more days and I think it’s time that we got our priorities straightened out.  The businesses will run for years after we’re gone, however, we need to be together in the here and now for a while longer. 

Amyn is still sleeping this morning and I am sitting in my new study admiring the view from my windows as well as just enjoying the comfort of being some place that will be a haven for me at times.  I know that this house in Nagrand will never replace the house in Dalaran, however, it will be a wonderful replacement for it since I am no longer able to return to that fair city. I know that there are times that I do wonder what has become of that home, however, Amyn tells me that I am better off not knowing and I shouldn’t think about it.  It’s going to take some time to get used to my new desk here though because it is much larger than the one that I had in Dalaran and is much more ostentatious it was.  I wish I could have brought that desk with me, however, there wasn’t time and it wasn’t that high a priority.

One of the things that I am enjoying about his house is the fact that there is a lot more land available to us in the surrounding area.  There is enough room for the boys to build homes if they wish and there is definitely enough room to build another little cottage for Amyn’s parents if they wish to move down here.  Naturally, Vashlan was finally able to get his magic to work to keep the water going into the bathrooms and kitchen hot for bathing and cooking – it’s almost like being in Dalaran.

I did tell Amyn that Faendra was back and she smiled and said that she was happy for me and hopes that Fae won’t become a burden for the rest of the family again.   I told her my plans of keeping Faendra on in the company as just one of the employees that would have to earn her own keep and she totally agreed with me.  I know that I couldn’t remove Zippie from her position and replace her with Faendra after all of the hard work that she has done and after all of Fae’s wrong-doing.  Of course, Fae would very much like to be back in her old position, however, I have already told her how it was going to be.

Fae is going to have to prove herself to me and the rest of the family after her latest escapade that kept us all on pins and needles all of these months.  Let’s just say that I don’t trust Fae at this point and I am afraid that if she were to have the position that she held before, she would just revert back to what she was before.  Fae is staying at the big house in Silvermoon for the time being, however, I have a feeling that she may want to get a place of her own instead of living under her brother’s roof.  We’ll see how that works out. Oh, enough about Faendra, I’m not here in Nagrand with my beautiful wife to think about my sister and her troubles, I’m here to enjoy being with  the woman that I love.



Fnor Morningstar


When Things Break…

January 22nd

I know that I am just kind of sitting here this morning and waiting for our next assault of winter weather here in Colorado.  Luckily for me, I don’t live in the mountains, as such.  Yep, city dweller here and I avoid the mountains like the plague during the winter months anymore.

Oh, back in the day when I was young and foolish, I would be up there with the rest of them skiing down those slopes at my own peril and the danger to others.  I wasn’t very good at the sport and soon gave it up for a nice warm fire and a glass of wine at the lodge. Oh, I’m sure there are people out there that just are dying to be out there in the snow, not me. It looks just wonderful from the inside of the building and not actually being out there trudging about is a wonderful thing to me.

I’m still sitting here giggling about how my day went yesterday.  Here I am getting back into WoW and playing like a fiend trying to get things caught up and getting myself immersed in the lore again and it was maintenance day – the bane of all Tuesdays since the beginning of time with WoW.  Since I hadn’t checked before I went to bed the night before, I was in high hopes that it would just be rolling restarts, nope, no such luck – it was a full blown maintenance although, for the life of me, I can’t see that they did anything other than to “merge” some more realms.   They did get rid of some of the more pronounced lag areas that I had hit prior, so, I guess that I should be thankful for that.  So, no WoW in the morning.

Okay, I thought to myself, since I can’t play WoW, I’ll do some writing. Now, you have to remember that I am an older player and very much the creature of habit so when things aren’t going the way that I like, it makes for a pretty rough day.

The very first thing that I do when I wake up in the morning around six or seven is to stagger out to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee – the nectar of the gods. So, I staggered out, measured out the coffee and the water and proceeded to set the coffee pot up to deliver that wonderful stuff and toddled on upstairs to my loft – The Sanctum. My husband has his “man cave” in the basement where one has to indeed be a brave soul to enter and I have my loft where all of my books, crafts and computers are kept.

So, sitting up here in the loft and starting to think about which of my poor characters might be visited for the morning, I kept waiting to hear the tell tale three “dings” from the coffee pot that tells me that it has done its job and I can go fill my cup with that wonderful stuff.  Suddenly it dawned on me that it was well past the time where those three dings should have happened and possibly, in my sleepy state, I had forgotten to turn it on.  So, off I trudge, back down the stairs, through the great room to the kitchen.  Hmmm, no glowing light on the coffee pot greets my caffeinated hungry eyes and I started cursing myself for being a bumbling fool and turned on the pot again.

Since I was on that level of the house, I thought that it might be good if I went ahead and took my shower and got dressed for the day before I forgot about it and spent most of the day in my pajamas – this happens more frequently in the winter than any other time of the year.  So, off to the shower I went and feeling good knowing that by the time I got out of the shower the coffee would be ready this time.

You guessed it!  Got out of the shower, got dressed and toddled back into the kitchen only to discover that the coffee pot had its little red light on and there was no coffee in the pot. I quickly checked the water, checked the burner on the coffee pot and it was icy cold.  Ut oh! This could only mean one thing – the coffee pot had expired. So, without further adieu, I promptly walked into the bedroom and announced to my spouse that the coffee pot had given up the ghost and we were going to be without that wonderful nectar until he went to the store and purchased a new one.  I really need to start getting spares in the future.

Anyway, to make a long story short, my husband is one of these people that stays up all night watching television and the Gods only know what else and sleeps the day away for the most part. Since he is the only one that drives at this point (I will soon join the others on the road again), I was at his mercy.  He rolls over and looks at me blearily and states “I have a dentist appointment and I will get one on the way back home.”  Okay, I know that he won’t move out of the bed until sometime after noon and his appointment was probably an hour or two after that. So, I reconciled myself to being without coffee for a few more hours. He is also the self-proclaimed King of the Procrastinators.

I thought about going and visiting neighbors and drinking their coffee, however, I decided that I could work on some chores here in the house and avoid going outside for a while.  Although the weatherman said that it was quite warm out there, I had already ventured out to get the newspaper and almost got carried off by the winds.  Nope, didn’t think it was a good thing to try the neighbors.  I had tea, I had a coke and was still yearning for my coffee.

So, at six o’clock last night, I was actually able to make my coffee and have a couple of cups. Lots of cream and sugar to go with it.  I think that I had signed into the game a couple of times during the day but didn’t get very far because I was very distracted by my fixation of getting coffee. I had been working on one of my little worgen alts and I could totally relate to her snorting and growls, I was starting to sound pretty much the same way.

So, this morning started off a hundred times better, two cups of coffee later and I will admit that I feel like I could conquer the world at this point.  My writing that I planned on doing waited until this morning to happen and I have been happily playing World of Warcraft with wild abandon.  I think that I can safely say without any kind of shame that I am addicted to that morning coffee.

No coffee means, no raiding, no ability to carry on an intelligent conversation and you can just forget RP. Yep, that’s an addiction. Just posting this for giggles and grins.



Oh My…Poor Orgrimmar

January 22nd

Dear Journal,

I don’t know why Zippie sent a parcel to us here in Pandaria that needed to be delivered in Orgrimmar, however, I am going to let her know that it makes me very uncomfortable to go there. She could have sent one of her goblin friends that work for the company or her sister or Uncle, however, she chose to send it all the way out here to us and wanted it delivered quickly.  She babbled on in her letter that there was no one else that could do it for her right now and it was for a good deal of money.

I didn’t even know that we were still making deliveries or even doing business with the people that are left in the city considering all of the things that have happened. I know we closed the business and now it’s in Silvermoon and what isn’t in Silvermoon is in Shattrath. I hope that she doesn’t get some wild hair and decide to try to send me to Dalaran because that is one place that I know that I won’t be welcomed with open arms.

I told Naton about the letter and the parcel and he said that he thought that I would be okay.  He said that he has done some business there with his armor, however, things have changed quite a bit since we were there last.  He told me to not meet anyone’s gaze, keep my head down, make my delivery and collect the money and get out of there as quickly as possible.  Okay, I did follow his advice although it was very hard for me to do.

I had heard that Garrosh had the Trolls under guard in their quarter, however, I didn’t know that it was as bad it was.  I had wanted to pick up some wild rice from there because it would be good with some of the dishes that I have learned to make here in Pandaria.  I was shocked that the poor Trolls are under lock and key and have Kor’kon guarding them all of the time.  They are prisoners and are only allowed to do a minimal amount of things.  I tried to buy some rice and a Kor’kon guard told me that I could be arrested for consorting with the enemy.  Well, I didn’t make my purchase because I didn’t want to get locked up there in Orgrimmar.

I decided that I would try to buy some rice from the Tauren quarter because I was almost sure that I had seen some there before I left for Pandaria.  I was shocked to see Kor’kon guards everywhere in the quarter.  It’s not as heavily guarded as the Troll area, however, it did make me realize that it would be very easy for Garrosh to order a full scale slaughter of our people in the city.  It almost made me cry when I saw how things were – our people are not happy in Orgrimmar and I wish they would leave before it’s too late.  I know that I was very frightened the whole time I was there.

I can’t believe that Zippie had me deliver a parcel to the goblin engineers.  It would have been so much easier for her Uncle to deliver that stuff or even her sister. I have no idea what was in the package, however, the goblin engineer seemed very excited to have it and even tipped me a copper.  Well, you know how goblins are, at least he gave me something to go along with his thanks.

Even though Naton told me to keep my head day and not meet anyone’s gaze, I wanted to see some of my old friends in the Tauren quarter, my old teacher,  for example.  I went to where he usually stands and I was surprised at how empty the place was.  Where our people would normally gather to talk and to tell stories to one another and some of the younger bulls would go to show off their new armor, there was no one there.  No one was enjoying the sunshine and no one seemed to be very sociable.  I did find my teacher and he was very happy to see me although he told me that I should get out of Orgrimmar as quickly as I had come in.

Now, I got another errand to run while I was there talking with him. He took a carefully concealed letter from his belt and told me that I had to deliver it to Baine in Thunderbluff.  I was really worried when he gave me the letter because I didn’t want to get arrested by the guards for something and have them find it on me, they might think I was some kind of spy.  I took the letter and left – I did go to Thunder Bluff and I did deliver it without seeing Mom and the boys.

As I was starting to wonder about how I was going to make the trip to Silvermoon without being gone for several days I happened to see a Forsaken with a very familiar gait and a very familiar lion.  It was Hazey Smythe.  We never had socialized all that much when we were in Orgrimmar, however, I’ve always considered her a good sort and one that could be trusted.  I asked her how she was doing and she looked at me like I had lost my mind and replied quite succinctly “Still dead” and we both laughed.

I told her of my problem with getting the money back to Zippie in Silvermoon and she said that she would take it for me because she had planned on taking a trip to the Undercity to visit with her sister and it would be very little trouble for her to continue on to Silvermoon to make the delivery for me.  She had a few things that she needed to deliver herself, so, it wasn’t inconvenient for her.  At least she was able to take care of that problem for me and I trust her with the money because she’s been with the company for quite a long time too. She laughingly aid that she thought that Garrosh was afraid of the Lady and that he wouldn’t want to step on her toes. So,  the travel from Orgrimmar to the Undercity is still open and it’s just a short portal from the Undercity to Silvermoon.  Whew, I’m glad she was there because I was really afraid to make the trip myself, I’m not your warring kind of cow, I like farming.

When I finally got back to Halfhill, I told Naton of all that I had seen and he just shook his head and looked sad.  He said that he had seen the guards in the Troll quarter, however, the last time that he had gone to the Tauren quarter, there were no guards.  We both think that things with Garrosh have gotten even worse than they were when we were in the service to the Horde.  Let’s just say that we are both happy that the Boss was able to get us released from that and we are working for Morningstar Enterprises.  Now, we just hope that nothing goes awry with the Regent Lord and the Blood Elves.

Oh, I had better get busy and make dinner for Naton and I because he actually said that he was hungry.  He doesn’t eat much but when he does, he makes up for all of the time that he hasn’t.  At least he’s trying some of the new food that have been able to get at the market, he says he likes Jogu’s chicken and dumplings and wishes that it wasn’t so pricey.




Accepting Things For What They Are…

January 22nd

Dear Journal,

It has been months since I have taken the time to write in my journal, however, with this being a very cold and blustery day this morning, I think that I will take some time to sit by the stove and write for a few minutes.   I do dread the thought of getting out there in the cold icy rain even though setting the wolf free keeps me warmer than any clothing that I might have on.

This last year has flown by as if it had wings and so many things have happened that it makes it difficult sometimes to realize that as each month passed we were getting closer to starting a new year in this land.  I know that some of the older people long to return to return to Gilneas, however, I can remember how things were there and haven’t let those memories draw me into melancholy as some have.  I remember how it would rain and snow there and it seemed as if it never ended until Spring started bringing forth the new flowers.

We have been busy with the Pack, Oak and I.  I think that we have done right well with the group that we currently have.  We have had no trouble within our ranks and things have been plentiful.  We did go to Stormwind and started doing work for that import/export company that we found there.  The contracts seem to be many and we seem to fill them almost as quickly as we pick them up.  Sometimes Oak and I both go to Stormwind to deliver the goods and pick up new contracts that always seem to be awaiting us there.  It isn’t so bad working for a Night Elf woman, however, the Draeni that manages things for her is a bit on the rude side sometimes.  I know that she has tried to short shift us a couple of times, however, Oak is very good with figures and has been able to call her on it.

When we do make the trip to Stormwind, we can’t help but look at some of the available apartments and houses that are there that might be affordable to us.  However, we haven’t been able to find one that suits our needs just yet.  We don’t want to separate ourselves from the rest of the pack and would like to find a place large enough to accommodate all.  Oak says that we might have to wait another year before we will have enough money saved up or we might want to wander further afield than Stormwind and get a home in one of the smaller towns near there.  That is almost more appealing to me because Stormwind is very crowded these days with mercenaries and other people.

We have all been very busy this Fall and Winter, filling those contracts, and learning more about this land we’re in.  Oak says that the game here is definitely more plentiful than what we had in Gilneas, although some of the old timers will argue that point with him.  I know that haven’t wanted for anything and we always have food on our tables.

Oak was very sad the other day when he came home because he had gone to talk to some of his old friends and they didn’t seem to be even trying to fit in.  They are just living on what the Night Elves are kind enough to give them.  They sit under the tree and talk about the old times and how things were, the nobles, the peasants alike.  I don’t recall Gilneas being as grand as some of them seem to recall, however, I won’t argue with them, let them view the old world with their rose colored glasses.

Yes, I do miss the old life, however, I wouldn’t be doing some of the things that I am doing now if I were still there.  If it weren’t for the Curse striking when it did, I would have probably been attending balls looking for possible suitors to marry. Oh, I might have even been married by now and might have had children.  No, I would have more than likely been working with my Father and learning more of the things that a “wife” should know to run a proper household.

I do have to laugh sometimes because I can still sew the finer things and make them as pretty as I did back home when I have the time, when I’m not running with Oak and the rest of the pack.  I know that I have wondered many times what will become of us in the future, however, I don’t look too hard because I just want to see the pleasant things.  Life is not bad for me in this new land, I’m an equal with all of the others, no better and no worse.

I think about how things were in Gilneas sometimes and am very thankful that we have left that behind.  I know that if things were as they were back home, I would never have been with Oak and I would never know what it was like to have a man that would sit by a fireside and talk with me as an equal.  I would have been relegated to something else, talking with the other ladies at parties until my betrothed or husband decided that it was fitting for us to be on the dance floor.  No, I definitely prefer this life where I actually feel more comfortable.

Naturally, Oak laughs at me when we start talking and my education shows up from time to time.  Oak can read and write, however, he doesn’t take the joy from reading a book like I do because he has never had the time to sit down and really relax with one.  If this weather keeps up, I may go to the library and get a few books for all of us to read.  I do need to teach some of our young ones their letters – seems they didn’t make it to school at home because their families had no money. At least now these young ones have opportunities to better themselves without the old social barriers standing in their way.

Oh, we keep hearing that this person or that person has discovered a cure for the Curse, however, I think that we have all reconciled ourselves to the fact that this is how it is going to be.  At least our young ones have learned how to control themselves when we take them to Stormwind, no more accidental releasing of the wolf in the middle of the market like we used to have.  One of the rules that we have in the pack is that we do not show the wolf when we are in crowds of humans, dwarves and gnomes – we maintain our human form.  Even after all of this time, I know that some of the people are still unnerved by our ability to shape shift and I think that are extremely frightened of the beast.

Occasionally we do hear about the conflicts in Kalimdor and how the Horde seems to be imploding, however, I hope that Oak isn’t slipping off and fighting with the Sentinels as much as he once was.  I know that he tried to keep it a secret from me, however, there have been a few times when he had to explain away an injury that needed a bandage or stitching – he kept trying to tell me that he miss-stepped or some such nonsense but I know an arrow wound when I see it.  Besides, I know my man well enough to know that he isn’t that clumsy even when he has had a few drinks under his belt.

No, we haven’t gotten married yet and I don’t know if that will ever come to pass.  I know he loves me in his own way, however, I think that in his heart, he is still mourning for his wife and daughters.  I’ve never had children, so, I don’t know how it feels to lose one, however, I have lost my entire family and I have times that mourning never seems to want to end.  I miss my Father’s laughter and the kind touches of my Mother as she would braid my hair and talk to me about what a wonderful life I would have when I made the proper match.  Poor Mother always hoped that I would be able to wed a noble and bring our family to a higher station in life.

Oh, it does look as though the weather is breaking finally and I can hear Oak coming up the front walk now.  I suppose that he will want to gather the pack and head to Kalimdor to do some hunting and skinning.  I hope we get a chance to stop and do some fishing while we are at it, I have a yearning for some fresh fish.




Memories – A Trip To Dalaran

January 20th

Dear Journal,

I know that it has been forever since I have written in my journal and that has to do with the fact that things have been extremely busy with the business and the family.  I just haven’t had the time to sit down and do anything for myself, however, I plan to change that because I have always found that writing things down is very soothing to me.

Right now, I need to be soothed.  Magdamia let me know that she had some deliveries and collections that needed to be done in Dalaran.  She knows that I usually avoid going there due to past memories and how things have changed so much in a place that I once called home.  One of the deliveries was to one of the old clients that Fnor and I had dealt with in the past and I was curious as to how things were going in the city.  They do say that curiosity killed the cat and I’ll admit that I was yearning to see the city again, even if only briefly.

When I arrived in Northrend it was cold and the wind as blustery as ever which always seems to chill you to the bone, no matter what clothing you happen to be wearing. As I was making the flight to Dalaran, I was watching the terrain below me and that’s when the memories came flooding back as if they had only happened yesterday.  Memories, both good and bad, that reminded me of how much my poor Sindorei loved this land and how much time he had built a life here without the boys and I.

We had already established ourselves in Shattrath City and my husband would be out in the field for weeks at a time gathering the skins and other things that we needed for our business.  He was always bringing back more contracts for us to  fill.  I know that we were one of the first companies that catered to both factions, Horde and Alliance.  We were also one of the most visible mixed race couples living in the city at the time.  Oh, there were scallywags and carpetbaggers from both factions there, hiding from the authorities in the Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor.  Times were exciting and could be very stressful trying to raise my two eldest sons in the city when my mate was so frequently gone.

Sometimes I would find myself crying from the sheer loneliness and from some of the hurtful things that some people had said in regard to my children and myself.  There were times that I longed to run away and hide from the emotional pain, however, my love for my Sindorei and our family always kept me there.  Oh, we were both so young and foolish in those days and thought that we could overcome anything that Elune or the Light might place in our way as barriers to the social norms.  Yes, they were trying times.

One of the things that didn’t help much back in those days was the fact that my Sindorei still felt that he needed to wed someone of his own race to be more socially acceptable in the eyes of the people in Silvermoon.  I don’t know why that acceptance was so important to him other than for the monetary gains it might bring and his political ambitions.  Oh, he had dreams of becoming someone of some importance back then and would do almost anything to fulfill those dreams.  I was relegated to being the mistress and the woman that bore his children, plus, running our ever expanding company in Shattrath.

I know that he wasn’t much of the Father to the boys back then and would be gone for months at a time without coming to see them.  We would sometimes meet outside the city to go over the business accounts and talk about some of the things that needed to be discussed. Oh,  I remember lying in his arms on more than one occasion while he told me about the women that he was seeing, women that were of his own race and what his marriage plans might be. There were times that my heart would ache with the thoughts of my mate being with another woman that I would ask myself why I stayed with him when it was readily apparent that his feelings were not the same as my own.  I would think of our two sons, Kaldor and Vashlan, and the answer as to why I stayed would be for our sons and the fact that I loved their Father more than life itself.

Oh, those were indeed some sad times for all of us although, at the time, we weren’t aware of how sad they really were.  My parents really didn’t approve of my liaison with my Sindorei, however, they loved their grandsons.  I think that they were very saddened when I left the Sentinels to take up this life that I had with this man in Shattrath.  Times change and people change – they know love my Sindorei almost as much as I do. I thank Elune each day for my two eldest sons and the blessings that she has bestowed upon the family.

My goodness, I definitely digressed there.  I was definitely lost in thought of those days gone by and how things have changed to the present.  Those were both happy and hurtful times and I am indeed very thankful that my Sindorei came to his senses and realized that he had already been blessed with a complete family and didn’t need to search any further.  The children love their Father very much and I think that they have a great deal of respect for him although, Vashlan is still wrestling with the thought of how this all came to pass sometimes.  I know that Kaldor has grown to understand his Father more as he has gotten older and has accepted the things that he cannot change in his life.

Anyway, I did get to Dalaran and when I first landed it was as if time had stood still and things were as they were before.  However, there were no Blood Elves at the landing, which was a reminder of what had transpired there.  When I stepped into the city, the reminders became very clear to me again.

I can’t put it into words other than to say that I could the sorrow filling me in torrents.  Gone were the laughing elves that had always stood around the landing talking and gone were some of the shops that I had frequented when Fnor and I lived in the city.  I went about my business of delivering the goods that I had brought with me and collecting the funds.  Somehow, it was hard to talk to some of these people because they were newcomers to the city themselves and didn’t remember the glory days of when it was an open city and people were friendly with everyone.  Oh, you had the diehards that were never going to forget their political affiliations, however, you could always find someone to talk with, meet new people that frequented the city.

I think that the hardest part of going back to Dalaran was seeing the house where Fnor and I lived with our children and the changes that have been made to it.  As I stood on the street and gazed at the front doors, I could see where the hand carved runes had been disfigured, I could see that the hardware hadn’t been polished or cleaned in months.  Yes, it was hard standing there and looking up to see the stained glass windows in Fnor’s office had been broken and the panes replaced with some panes that didn’t seem to fit.  Yes, the exterior of the house was almost unrecognizable.    The last time that I had visited the city, I was unable to make myself go inside, however, this time I had to do it to deliver a parcel that I had brought with me for that purpose and collect the funds that were owed.

The whole house is now broken down into various offices and it looks like the upstairs may have been turned into  barracks of some kind.  Oh, the curved stairway has had all of the carpet removed from the it and the wood was very worn and disfigured by the boots tramping up and down.  The slate floor in the foyer was broken in many places and hadn’t seen a polishing cloth in ages.

As I stood in the foyer and looked around, I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes.  The fireplace where Vashlan had decided that he was mage enough to light the fire and lit the curtains on fire instead had been defaced and the carvings were unrecognizable anymore.  I think that if Agatha could see what has become of the house that she lovingly tended  for all of the years she was in Dalaran, she would be in tears. Anything that would have been considered Sindorei by anyone had been defaced or even removed – the mantle on the fireplace was totally destroyed and the ornate carvings on the ceiling had been painted over with something that I think might not have been all paint.

Not only did the house not have the grandeur that it once had, it also looked very worn, old and dirty.   I have thought about telling Fnor about the house, however, I have decided that it is something that I will spare him.  I know that it would only hurt him to know that the house that he spent so many years remodeling and decorating had become nothing more than some kind of hovel.  I am almost thankful that he will never see the place again.  I think that only one of us needs to have the heartbreak of seeing what was once beautiful and filled with our happy family has been turned into something that none of us would recognize for what it once was.

I am very happy that we were able to remove some of the things from the house and take them to the new house in Nagrand. In time, the house in Nagrand will be as beautiful and as loved as this house once was.  It’s smaller and doesn’t have the history behind it, however, it will have a very loving family living in it that can rebuild those memories.

Yes, it is very true – you can never go home again. Things have changed, the times have changed and the people have changed that helped to build those memories.

I don’t think that my next trip to Dalaran will be as traumatic as this one has been, however, I know that I will always remember the city the way that it was before – not how it is now.  I will keep the memories alive in my heart of the joy and happiness that we once had there.

Well, I suppose it’s time for me to stop writing and head down into the warehouse.  I can hear Magdamia shouting at someone and it doesn’t sound very pleasant.  Honestly, that Draeni needs to work on her people skills something terrible and I hope she isn’t fighting with a customer that way.









Not Quite Domestic Bliss

January 18th

Dear Journal,

I don’t think that I have ever been this angry with Kal since we have been together, however, it’s not so much anger as it is being humiliated.  While I will admit that leaving the Sentinels has been a real hard adjustment for me, becoming somewhat domestic has been more than an stressful thing and very trying.

Yes, I knew how to cook some very good dishes and I knew how to cook any kind of game that I killed, however, some of this other stuff, I wasn’t all that familiar with.  Kal kept talking about these wonderful muffins that his Mother used to make for him when he was growing up, so, being the blissfully happy person at being “free” from duties at last, I contacted his Mother and got the recipe.  Gathering the materials wasn’t all that difficult because our farm is very close to the market here in Halfhill.  I did have to substitute a few things because the Pandaren had no idea what some of the stuff was.  I made the muffins and gave them to him for breakfast one morning as a surprise.  Oh, he seemed so happy to have them and kept remarking on how good they were.  So, I started making them frequently, not too often because I didn’t want them to become something that he got bored with.

Little did I know that my muffins were horrid and what I thought he was eating, he was stuffing in his belt pouch.  I thought he was eating an awful lot of them, however, since they were a favorite, I didn’t say anything, just made more for him.

Come to find out, he was using the muffins to kill the vermin in the fields by throwing them at them.  He was also using them to add some extra strength to some of the fencing.  I had found a couple of the muffins and just thought that he might have dropped them or something.

Anyway, to make a long story short. Kal went on an adventure with some of his friends and I guess that my muffins were used for quick and dirty ammo.  I wouldn’t have ever known if Kal hadn’t been drinking and told me about it.  Stupid man, he should never drink and come home to tell me about what he has been up too.  I am so embarrassed that I don’t know that I will ever be able to face these people again.  I have met them on a few occasions, however, that was when I was still with the Sentinels and they weren’t all that friendly since they had some unsavory reputations.

Oh, let’s just say that we had quite the verbal battle and he slept under the house last night in a blanket roll.  Maybe I over-reacted, I don’t know but he should have never told me about it.  I think that the next time I try to make something new in the kitchen, I’ll let someone else test them for me that will be a bit more honest about how they really are.

I really am trying.  Elune guide me in my endeavors to make Kal a good mate.  I love him dearly, however, he really needs to be a bit more diplomatic about things that I do and not hurt my feelings and especially not share that with his friends.



Have Things Changed? … I’m not so sure

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

January 17th

Dear Journal,

I’m sitting here in Silvermoon in my study and I will have to admit that even though I am very relieved to have Faendra back with the family, there is just something there that doesn’t quite meet the eye.  It’s just a feeling that I have and I can’t  help but pull on her history to know that when I have these feelings, it’s best to pay close attention to them.

We all know what her feelings were for Dawnglory when she ran away.  Part of me feels that she is still holding those feelings close to the vest even though she is now very much aware of his situation and his pending fatherhood, that didn’t seem to bother her all that much although the look that she gave Romy was more of a subtle challenge than anything remotely close to being friendly.  There was definitely enough tension in the air that you could almost cut it with a knife and I think that Romy handled things beautifully, which is something that I would have expected from someone her age and station in life.  Romy’s no fool and I hope that Dawnglory is very much aware of how fortunate he is to have her in his life.

I think it was probably a wise decision on Dawnglory’s part to make arrangements with the Cloudhoof clan to spend the night with them and leave his house to Faendra and myself.  Romy is starting to feel very uncomfortable with her pregnancy and I know that Mooma is a midwife and has delivered quite a few calves in her time, I’m not so sure about how many Blood Elf babies she’s delivered, however, I feel that the old dear would be very competent with that sort of thing as well.

Faendra and I sat in the house and talked quite a bit.  She told me that she ran away because she didn’t want to marry the fop in Silvermoon and that she wanted to have a bit more control of what was done in her life.  No, she wasn’t interested in her social standing in Silvermoon even though that was the one place that she was more suited to be than anywhere else on Azeroth.  I did tell her that with her running away that the marriage had been called off, the groom has since wed someone else and all of the dowry monies had been paid to the family to make up for her insulting them by running away.  She acted a little bit surprised that I would have paid them off, however, I explained to her that since my business was based in Silvermoon, I had to keep the social arenas under control and if that meant spending that money to maintain appearances, well, that’s just how it had to be.

I had almost considered sending Fae to Shattrath to help with the business setup down there and something just told me that that might not be such a good idea.  For one thing, she is going to have to earn my trust and respect again after stealing all of the gold out of the safe in Orgrimmar.  So, she is going to have to be content in staying in Silvermoon for the time being and rebuilding some of the bridges that she burned with the other employees in the company, especially Zippie.  No, Faendra isn’t going to be “in charge” of anything and will have to earn her keep just like any of the other employees.

I think that a part of her thought that things wouldn’t just go back to the way that they had been in the past and didn’t take into account that I even have feelings that need to be mended as well.  Oh, I know that if I had sent her to Shattrath, I might have gotten more than a few letters from my wife but I might have even lost a few of my more loyal employees.  They didn’t approve of how things were handled when Fae left so abruptly and I know that they aren’t going to take orders from her anymore.

Yes, Fae has grown up quite a bit since she has been gone and I can see a certain hardness in her character that wasn’t readily apparent before she left.  I still don’t know what all happened to her on her travels and I was very much up front in telling her that I would like to know how she survived all of these months without any money and without any proper gear, however, I didn’t want to know all of the gory details.  I especially don’t want to know anything about her sex life, it’s not something that an older brother wants to hear about although I’m sure that she would take great pleasure in telling me about it for some reason.

Honestly, I am extremely happy to have her back home, however, there is just a feeling of dread that keeps cropping up in my mind.  I suppose I could ask Dawnglory’s sister, Felessa, to keep an eye on things for me even though the two girls used to be the best of friends.   At least Felessa listened to her brother and got married is now expecting the “heir” that was part of the marriage contract which is probably what has Faendra in such a snit and making comments about all the gravid females in the area.

Oh well, I can’t let Faendra occupy my mind this much because I know that usually just causes all kinds of problems with the family too.  I do want her to have a good life, however, all of my efforts in the past have been repaid with a slap in the face and curses.  I think that I will keep her with the company if she wants to work for Morningstar Enterprises, however, she is just going to be one of the regular employees that goes out with contracts and collects her money that way, nothing special that makes her stand out above any of the others.

I did get a letter from Amyn and I know that she took her parents and the two youngest boys to the Faire this last month and she talked about how much she missed me while she was there.  She hasn’t gotten my letter yet telling her about the finding of Fae and the things that have transpired since then.   I know that I truly miss her and I hope that we can get together in the near future in Shattrath and Nagrand.  I am getting that yearning to open the house in Nagrand again, I love the area and it is the one place where I know that we can live as a family there.  Oh, how I have missed the holidays as a family and how I have missed the family gatherings.  Yes, I think I will write a letter to her and see how she feels about that.   I’m sure that she is anxious to get out of Stormwind for a while too.


Fnor Morningstar