A Sense of Dread…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

February 8th

Dear Journal,

Oh, these last few weeks in Nagrand have been blissfully happy and I will have to say that it saddens me to think that we will have to leave and go back to our businesses to check on things for at least a couple of days. Amyn probably won’t have anything to keep her in Stormwind for very long, however, I know that she wants to check on her parents and our two youngest boys in Dolonaar too.

I just dread the thought of going back to Silvermoon to check on things because I am sure that Zippie has kept things under control pretty much with the business, however, the little voices in my head are filling me with doubts about my sister, Faendra. Call it a sense of foreboding or what you will, I have just felt exceedingly uneasy the last couple of days after my thoughts would wander towards the subject of Silvermoon City.  I hope my feelings are wrong and that things are going well.

Oh, my beloved Sentinel and I did make it to the Faire and we did feel some guilt about the fact that we hadn’t brought any of the family with us, however, this time is meant for the two of us to spend alone together.  Amyn doesn’t need the children underfoot all of the time and I sure don’t need any nonsense that my sister might be plotting.

We drank way too much and we just ate and played games for the entire day and night until closing.  Oh, I don’t think that I will be scolding Kal again for taking a woman in one of the vacant tents there on the grounds because his Mother and I took advantage of the same tent several times.  There’s just something wildly erotic about making love with the chance of someone walking in on you, isn’t there? I have to chuckle because I am sure that it would sound like Amyn and I live our lives between our legs, however, that is very much not the case because there are times when we don’t get an opportunity to be intimate for months – which I am sure makes her as cranky as it does me.

Just sitting there on the beach at the Faire holding hands was fun for us both and we talked about so many things.  How things used to be and how things are for us now.  I know that we are looking forward to being able to gather the family together again in Shattrath and Nagrand because we both hate the way that things have been for the last few months.  Oh sure, Amyn was able to make a quick trip to Halfhill and spent a couple of nights with me, however, those nights were filled with so much passion that we really didn’t have a whole lot of time for just talking.

I know that we have spent a great deal of time talking and making plans for the future while we have been in Nagrand and it has been wonderful.  Neither one of us is planning on letting ourselves come in second to the businesses and family things again because it has put a lot of stress on the two of us.  We’re getting older, yes, however, we’re both still young enough to want to spend some time together just enjoying life – you know, just going fishing or hunting with your mate is fulfilling in its own right.

We’ re already making plans to take the little guys on a camping trip to Feralas too.  I know that it has been a couple of years since we have been able to do that and we’ll invite the older boys to come along if they are free or have a desire to join us.  I know that area of Kalimdor has special meanings for Amyn and I because we both swear that that was where Kal was conceived.  We had gone camping there quite a bit because it was off the beaten path and we didn’t have to worry too much about the Sentinel’s stumbling over our camping spot nor running into any of the Horde – it was very secluded and not easy to get too.  I think that we’ll take the boys there too because there is a little lake for fishing as well as bathing.

My mind keeps wandering back to Silvermoon this morning which is starting to really annoy me.  I have a strong suspicion that I am going to have trouble awaiting me when I arrive.  In my heart I am in hopes that Faendra has changed and isn’t the spoiled willful child that she was before she ran away, however, in my mind, I have a strong inkling that she will be up to her old tricks again.  I think Amyn may be right in her opinion that you can bring a wild animal into your home, domesticate it and give it everything that it might require and it will still be a wild animal that can turn on your person without a moment’s notice. People can modify their own behavior, however, deep down, they don’t really change their core being.

I have had to face a few harsh realities in regard to my sister since she ran away and since she has returned.  She’s spoiled and feels that she is entitled to anything and everything that she wants regardless of the cost or consequences.  That’s my fault because of the way that I raised her.  I was always trying to compensate for the loss of our parents by treating her like some little china doll or something and I would shower her with gifts and would give her anything that she wanted – that was fine when she was a little girl and I was trying to make up for my absences while she stayed in a foster home with Felessa in Silvermoon City.

However, when she became a grown woman in her own right, things were decidedly different. Her willful acts of cruelty and disrespect for others definitely wasn’t something that I enjoyed and I assume that the people around her were not pleased either.  I hope that she has gotten over her obsession with Dawnglory, however, with the way that she looked at him and his woman at the Faire last month, I’m not so sure that she has.

He and I have talked a great deal about Fae and her feelings for him and we’ve both agreed that she definitely has some issues because he has never treated her any differently than he has his own sister – oh yes, he did flirt with her one Winter Veil and since that time, she has told everyone that would listen that she is going to marry him some day.  Hell, he’s not the marrying kind and hasn’t even married his woman that is carrying his child.  I don’t think either Romy or Dawnglory have any kind inclination of getting married because they both seem to be afraid of that legal and binding contract.

Oh well, I suppose that I should start packing up a few things so that I can head back to Silvermoon and face the music again day after tomorrow.  While I am there, I am going to talk to Agatha and see if she has any recommendations in regard to other housekeepers that she knows that would be willing to make the change to Nagrand.   Damn, I am dreading this trip back more than I have even dared to voice to my beloved.

I know that our two cats are going to be upset at having to be parted again because they have both enjoyed being free to romp the grasslands and hunt together like old times.  Amyn and I both have laughed at how these two animals just seem to thrive here as much as we do.  Silly Pan will always be the cat that is at my side until he is too old to follow along, I don’t see that happening in the near future.

Fnor Morningstar

2 thoughts on “A Sense of Dread…

  1. Sometimes you need to listen to those voices, no matter much you don’t want to because that way you can deal with matters before they grow out of control. I think he will be absolutely flabbergasted when he finds out they are both having a change of heart when it comes to marriage… I ‘m thinking they are both seeing it as a necessary evil , to protect Mirri ,and keeping further trouble at bay.

    • Fnor’s heart doesn’t want to listen to the voices but his head sure is abuzz with them in regard to Silvermoon City and his sister. He is going to have his hands full when he gets home, however, Fae might find out that the front door opens and closes real well – Fnor’s boots may not need polishing for a while.

      As for Fnar and Romy getting married, I think that Fnor will be shocked and surprised but very pleased because he knows that they have to think about their baby’s future too.

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