Just Thoughts of A Death Knight …

February 18th

Dear Journal,

Oh my, it has been a terribly long time since I’ve written in my journal – I noticed the date of my last writing and also noticed that the book was neatly secured deeply in my bag, so deep that I had to almost empty the bag before I could even remove it.

There are times that I do miss the fact that I can’t truly remember my family and then there are times that I am filled relief that I don’t after seeing and hearing some of the things that Felaran is going through.  Yes, I know I had a family, I didn’t just pop up out of the ground as a full grown man, become Scourge at the commands of the Lich, I had to have had a family, at least parents.

I know I did laugh at poor Fel the other night when she was writing in her journal and grumbling curse words every few seconds as she wrote things in her journal.  Her immediate family really isn’t that large, however, her extended family and friends seems to be quite extensive.  She is fortunate that she has all of the other people in her life, I suppose, however, I’m very happy that she is in mine because I honestly don’t know what would have become of me.

She’s still teaching me things, things that a man grown should have already achieved and known about and she is teaching me how to enjoy this unlife that we exist in. Prior to her coming into my life, I had had a very lonely existence and took it for granted that this is how I would exist in the here and now.  Since she came along, I am finding myself learning how to care about other things, other people and perchance, their feelings.

What I was laughing about the other night was the fact that it appears that her younger sister has returned to the fold and started making everyone’s lives a bit more tumultuous.  I have never met the young lady, however, from the descriptions that I have had from Fel, I’m not real sure that I want too. Felaran had told me that when she, as a Death Knight, returned to the family, there had been quite a bit of trouble from her sister due to the fact that a Knight was not socially acceptable to the people that her sister was acquainted with.  I can well imagine the uproar it might have caused. I suppose that they made amends and became friends when they were living in Dalaran – you know that sister kind of thing.  However, it does sound like Felaran has had her hands full with her much younger sibling and I do feel sorry for Fnor because the poor bugger has been stuck in the middle of it.

I know that in my travels through the Kingdoms, after my release from the Lich King, people were oftentimes less than friendly and I would take all manner of insults hurled in my direction from them.  As time has gone on and the people have found that we can be of service to them in our ability to fight to protect them from things – they have begrudgingly accepted us. However, I will say that our acceptance here in Pandaria has been a much welcomed reprieve from the cruelties that we had gone through before – not that it wasn’t deserved.  We were meant to be storm troops, killers at the call of our Master and we were not designed to have the emotions or feelings of our living counterparts.

Oh, I’m letting my mind wander too far back, I tend to do that sometimes and it does make me not only grateful for the life that I have now, it always makes me a little sad to think of the things that might have been different if I were a mortal man.

I’m sad a bit this morning because Felaran and I went to Halfhill and we were planning on buying our little farm, unfortunately, we were a few gold shy and the fellow just wouldn’t barter with us.  I know that Fel was disappointed, I could see it in her eyes and the way she carried herself.  We talked about it afterwards and have decided that we’re not in that big of a hurry, it will only take us a few more weeks to come up with the money and not be broke after the purchase.  It would be nice to be able to fix the place up a bit before we actually move in too – the house needs a lot of repairs and Naton has already told me that after we buy it, he will come over to help us fix things up – he’s a good man for a Tauren and a fellow Knight.

I know that Fel and I both love Pandaria and there are times when we both almost forget that we are what we are until our Rune Blades remind us, none too kindly, I might add, that we need to attend to certain things in order to survive.  I just know that it seems as though we are more acceptable to the people living here than we ever were in the Kingdoms.  We have decided, when all of this is over, that we are going to make our home here with the Pandaren. I know that the thoughts of having a home and a place to call our own has made us both very happy – yes, we’re going to stay together no matter whatever else may happen.  I think that we were both tired of being alone most of the time and we enjoy one another’s company…and there are other feelings as well.

I know that being with Felaran has softened me quite a bit, however, my old persona will show up without much warning when we are in a battle without fail.  It’s odd that there just seems to be a calling when our adrenalin kicks in and we become what we once were again.  Afterwards, I know that we both feel the glow of the battle, however, we welcome the reprieve of returning to what is considered the norm for the living.

I know that Felaran teases me unmercifully about Fuzzbutt, the kitten that she gave me a while back.  Well, that kitten has gotten to be rather large and is almost fully grown by feline standards and I still treat her like the baby she once was.  Of course, when we’re not doing our duty, we’re able to relax in Dawns Blossom at the Inn where Fuzzbutt seems to be the center of attention to some of the people visiting there as well.  She’s a friendly little thing and is truly getting to be more spoiled than she already was.   I know that I like to hold her on my chest and feel that purring rumble through her body and the warmth.  Fel told me that I treated the cat like a baby and that I was going to ruin her for any kind of “mousing” ability that she might have – you know, killing the virmen would be a good thing for a cat to do.  Anyway, I told Fel that Fuzzbutt was the only child that we would ever have and I thought she was going to split her sides laughing – it’s true, we can’t have kids, so, we might as well have pets, right?

Ty

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