To Be…Or Not To Be

February 20th

Dear Journal,

Well, isn’t this just a fine kettle of fish that I find myself in these days.  I was disowned by my family, kicked out the University and definitely put on the black list of Silvermoon society, if my Mother had her way.  That really seems to be about it, other than the fact that I was summarily booted out with just the clothes on my back and a gold filled pouch my Father decided to give me in lieu of standing up to my Mother, the raging bitch.

Oh, I suppose that I should introduce myself instead of just babbling on like this because if anyone should ever find or read this, it might be nice to know my name.  My name is Solerin Dawnshadow and I used to live in Silvermoon with a happy family.  People that know me well enough, just call me Sol.

My Mother was the only one that called me Solerin and it was usually because she was upset with me about something.  Oh, now she has my sisters to promote out of the house and marry off to the highest bidder – good on her, hope she can find someone that will take the whiny things.

I suppose everything would have been okay if I had walked the straight and narrow, however, it wasn’t in my nature to do that.  I was always drawn to the darker side of life.  Tell me I can’t do something and I will break my neck until I do “do it” regardless of the consequences.  Well, this time it was something that couldn’t be covered up or hidden away in a cupboard.

I suppose that my parents will keep paying for my son’s support and education – I never bothered getting married, she wasn’t someone of the same social ilk, so that was a taboo to start with.  Figures I’d find the only fertile whore in Silvermoon to knock up when it was my first time out. I’ve only seen the kid once and that was only briefly, he doesn’t look like me at all and I wonder if he is mine or she just decided that it looked like my family had more money than her other clients and it would be a good way to score an income that didn’t entail her being on her back all of the time.  I was only fourteen and was finding how everything worked, must have done a good job while I was at it.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.  What finally got me kicked out of the house and put on the list of people not to have anything to do with is that I decided to follow in the footsteps of my Grandfather.  Now that was a fellow I could look up too and be afraid of all at the same time.  He did his own thing and fought his way to the top of what the people in Silvermoon like to call – the social heights.  He was a warlock, plain and simple, he was a warlock when you could get killed just for practicing your art or having people find out what you truly were.  He passed himself off as a scribe and businessman and apparently did rather well with it.  I suspect there was more black magic in the money he accumulated in his lifetime than my Father would like to admit. He was quite the old hell raiser and I’m sure that I am not the only one to have a bastard child running around, he had quite a few mistresses at his funeral. As far as I know, no one ever knew what he was, maybe my Grandmother did, however, that didn’t keep her from pumping out six children – my Father being the only surviving male.

I digress, what got me kicked out was that I got caught, plain and simple, doing a summoning .  Summoning my imp.  of all things, he and I needed to have a face to face talk about his constant jabbering and complaints in my head.  He was making me very distracted.

I had been sent off to the Academy to become a mage. Okay, that’s magic, I can deal with that.  I tried very hard to follow along and do all of the things that my instructors were telling me to do and I was doing them quite well. It was all the “good” magic that people can accept.  Well, I was fine until I started doing some reading and experimenting on my own – there are books in the library that talk about the magic that a warlock, those damned for life, evil people can do and I read them.  The more I read, the more I wanted to try them out and moved even further from the Light of the Sunwell – I was very intrigued by the demonic things that I read about and got sucked in further and further.

I suppose I would have been fine if I hadn’t gone snooping in the family home and found some of my Grandfather’s old books in the attic.  I’m surprised that they weren’t burned years ago instead of hidden away in a trunk.  I mean,  the man had some books in that trunk and I don’t think that he put them there. I honestly don’t see the harm though because with the books and his journals I have been able to learn quite a bit. Sure, I have met a few other closet warlocks there in Silvermoon and was able to glean some more knowledge from them.

I don’t think that I am an evil person, I truly don’t.  I just happen to look at things a bit differently than some of the more “normal” folks.  When I was busy trying to be a mage, I was very good at that too, odd thing is that it felt awkward to me and wasn’t as fulfilling as it is when I would start dealing with runes and the nether.  It’s amazing what you can find in the nether and I think that if people were to try it, they might find themselves a bit more enlightened.

Sure, Warlocks are still not a part of the acceptable society, however, there are more of us living in and around Silvermoon than what the general populace would like to know about or admit.  I’m definitely on the road and trying to do my best to survive and survive I will. At least I won’t be hindered by so-called family and friends.  One would act like a person grows horns , some do,  we don’t eat babies or anything of that nature, can’t imagine they’d taste that good anyway.  We’re just different from your mages waltzing around in their robes – people just can’t seem to comprehend that we’re not out to destroy the world or anything of that nature.

Oh well, enough chattering from me.  I am happy that my Father at least gave me some money and told me that he understood .  Looking  back on the brief conversation, it makes me wonder if he is one of those closeted warlocks himself, little things that he says and does kind of make sense to me now. I know that he has been beaten down by my Mother with her constant verbal assaults and I really didn’t respect him all that much because of it.  Now, I’m wondering if he isn’t just taking shelter behind a shield of cowardice, who knows.

One thing that I will always caution another warlock about is that they should dismiss their creatures when they are approaching places that are inhabited by others, it’s just a good practice and will keep you from being locked up in a jail somewhere or even possibly killed.  I think there is an unwritten list that along with the Scourge, warlocks are on the list too.  The often abused and  misunderstood warlocks and feared by the uneducated.  Ah well, such is life.

I will make my living in this world and one day I will go back to Silvermoon and take my place back with my family. I will mend what bridges that I can and lie through my teeth to let them know that I have changed. I won’t go back until I am wealthy enough to where it won’t matter.

Solerin Dawnshadow

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “To Be…Or Not To Be

    • Oh yeah, he’s going to be fun and I hope to spend some more time on him this week, leveling and fleshing his character out a bit more. I tried leveling a female warlock a while back and things did not work as planned within the story-line group – so, she was quickly deleted, story-line died and here I am starting another from scratch and freelance.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s