Isn’t this just grand! I mean, I go to Silvermoon to turn in my contracts and get paid and there was this little man waiting there, or so it seems. Well, I got conscripted to serve the Horde, guess someone must have told them that they might catch me in Silvermoon – I only told a few people that I would be gone for the day and I even told my brain dead sister that I was going to be in Silvermoon today, even brought some of her stuff in so that she could have some money.
I didn’t have time to pack my bags, make any arrangements to keep things under control in Orgrimmar either. I was just boosted onto a boat, told to jump down a rope because the airship was crashing. I told the idiot that I was going to slide down any ropes, I was a lady even if I was dead. Well, I ended up taking the damn jump because, let’s face it, I wasn’t going down with a burning ship no matter what was going on – trust that good ol’ goblin engineering and you’ll get your butt blown off – if I even had one in my present condition.
Anyway, I’m here in Pandaria and I will admit that my brain is just spinning with all of the changes. I was happy doing my own thing in Orgrimmar and the Outlands, those were places that I knew really well, now, I’m here in Bear Land. I’m sitting here in the Vale of whatever, there’s some goofy music going and I see these Pandaren all happy and dancing around. Well, I suppose they should be happy, I’m not.
I’ve already sent a letter off to Brianca to let her know where I am and that I didn’t just take off with her money, which I enclosed in the letter, and that I would get back home as soon as I could. I have no idea when I will make it back to Orgrimmar, much less Undercity. I know that I didn’t even have a chance to grab a change of underpants – what were these people thinking of? Of course, I don’t think that Orcs wear undergarments and I am real sure that they smell as rank as the Forsaken sometimes because they sure don’t seem to bathe that often.
I was issued some new gear that I didn’t have to pay for, which was nice and was told to stay with my group. Oh hello, did anyone ever tell these Orcs that there are civilians in the group and that they may or may not have a brain in the head much less have an idea of what they were doing? I did put up a fight when they took my bow and slammed a rifle in my hands – guess that’s the going thing for a hunter in Pandaria, I hate the noise more than anything. I’ll be on the lookout for a bow in the near future, trust me, this rifle and I are not bonding. Oh, they gave me a nice mount, didn’t know whether I should pluck the feathers off or just eat it plain. No, I didn’t eat it, I need something to get around on and it seems quick to respond when I’m flying.
Man, that fool idiot Garrosh must be rolling in some money if he can outfit all of these soldiers, doesn’t even check to see if we’ve been trained in anything and ship us off to this Pandaria place. Sure, I knew about the war and all that stuff, however, one would have thought that things were cooling down, not heating up. At least I ended up with some Rangers and they were trying to test me to find out what I did know and what I didn’t know – simpering louts. I guess I passed the tests or whatever because this kind of silly looking fellow says “She’ll do.” She’ll do what? I guess I have to learn how to follow orders and read minds now.
I know that I am just so confused right now that I am lucky that I can remember my name and I miss my coffin. They have beds here that we can use, however, they lack the coziness of my nice coffin. I already got yelled at for eating something that I had just killed too, they better watch it! If I’m hungry, I’m gonna eat.
Oh crap, does this mean I’ll lose my job with Morningstar Enterprises? Oh gees! I had better fire off a letter to Zippie right away to let her know what has happened, I count on that money for my living and they haven’t mentioned anything about pay since I’ve been up here. I hope they aren’t stupid enough to think that people are going to risk their lives for the Horde and not get paid for it. Oh, I do hate Orcs, did I mention that?