Is It All For Naught…


Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

March 25th

Dear Journal,

This morning seems somewhat better than the mornings have been since I returned to Silvermoon.  At least I don’t feel the urge to go out and kill someone and just rage at the world.  How one little girl can get me so aggravated is beyond me, I just know that I keep trying to make excuses for her behavior, however, I am beginning to realize that I am beating a dead horse with that activity, even if it is only in my mind.

This person living in my house in Silvermoon is not my sister, she can’t be.  This is not the girl that I raised and loved all of these years.  Maybe that incident with the warlock- witch – whatever in the hell it was has had some residual effect on her that none of us were aware of or it might be that she has always been this way and I have been blinded by feelings of “family” at all costs.  I honestly am at my wit’s end and I can’t seem to get my head wrapped around the fact that there are just some people that are mean to the core.

I arrived home from Shattrath and it was like we never left off with our last argument.  She’s been abiding by the rules that I set up for her and she is doing her job, however, the dripping sarcasm that comes out of her mouth makes me want to just put my fist in her face.  I am not a violent man when it comes to women, it makes me physically ill to strike a woman unless she’s trying to kill me, then, that’s a whole different kind of thing, that’s war.

What is going on with Faendra and I right now is definitely some kind of psychological warfare that I am not readily prepared nor accustomed to dealing with in the family.  I sat as an Ambassador for many years with the Horde and the political in-fighting there was phenomenal in its own right, however, what I am dealing with right now is beyond my comprehension.

Of course, her big complaint is her lack of money and how she is unable to show her face in public because her dresses are so last season.  Well, it’s not my fault that she took off with all of the money in the vault in Orgrimmar when she ran off and I had to replace that and it’s not my fault that she lost all of her jewelry on her trip out in the world.  I am just refusing to pick up where it all left off as if nothing happened.  However, I have got to do some thinking about what I am going to do with her – I can’t continue to have her here at the house and tormenting me, in particular.

I’ve already talked with Agatha about the possibility of opening up one of the other houses and putting Faendra there, just to get her away from me and she has said that it wouldn’t be difficult at all.  Even when the houses sit vacant for periods of time, they are still maintained by a certain number of staff.  So, that might be the solution.  My beautiful Sentinel even suggested something of this sort before I left Shattrath and I do believe that she hit the nail on the head.

She is of the opinion that Faendra is trying to make me angry enough to where I will just give into her whims and demands and that is on the verge, however, I am not going to let this one person ruin everything that I have strived for all of my life either.

Yes, I’ll admit that I worked for myself initially and then, I was working for the two girls, Felaran and Faendra to make sure that they had the best of everything that I could give them.  All of those years of searching for Fel really were nerve wracking, however, she is the one of the two girls that has been her well worth the effort.  She lives her life, even as a Death Knight, as it should be lived – at least the pride in family is there and she doesn’t feel like I owe her everything in the world to make up for what happened to her.  There are times that I wonder if all of this hard work has been for naught.  Here I thought that I was doing the best that I could for my sisters after our parents died, one is happy with her lot in life and the other only gives a long list of complaints.

No, I think moving Faendra out of here will be the best thing.  The house that I have in mind is slightly older and smaller than this one.  I haven’t spent a lot of time refurbishing it, nor do I intend too at this point.  It’s a piece of real estate that I had planned on selling in the future to recoup some of the financial losses, however, I haven’t had any of those for a while either.

Business has been extremely profitable and I can almost imagine Zippie rubbing her hands together every time she gets the money from one of our contracts.  We’re making money on just about everything that we touch in Pandaria – everything from bounty to artifact collecting.

Well, it appears as though I don’t have to keep waffling back and forth between whether I should continue to tolerate Faendra’s presence here or not.  Agatha just came in and told me that she had already given orders to air out the other house and to move Fae’s things over there.  I can well imagine that it is going to be one little upset young lady when she finds out she’s been moved.  I can already tell the difference in my stress level, I do think it’s dropped down a notch or two.  There are times that I often wonder if Agatha can read my mind, we’ve been together almost as long as my Sentinel and I have.  She has seen a lot of things in my life, yet, she has stayed working for me all of these years, it almost makes you wonder why.

I think that we will be completely open for business in Shattrath by the end of next month and I can start concentrating on getting the other office started in Pandaria because a lot of my employees have voiced their opinion that we need to branch out more.  It’s feasible that we could cover all of the bases that way and cut down on the travel time, possibly.  I’ll have to give it some thought.

 

Fnor Morningstar

 

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