Being Forsaken In Pandaria

March 31st

Dear Journal,

I’m going to have to say that this Pandaria place isn’t so bad.  I’m still not real good at following order because it goes against my way of doing things sometimes.  I just can’t help myself when I see a perfectly delicious corpse and I am in need of a snack.  I guess I wasn’t cut out to be one of those military types, I mean, I’m Forsaken, however, before that, I was a human girl – a farm girl to top it all off that used to go hunting with her Daddy.

I know that I am going to see if Zippie can’t get in touch with the Boss and see if she can’t get me liberated from this military stuff.  We should just put together a form letter where you just fill in the names and so on because lately, it does seem like there are more of us getting shipped off to Pandaria whether we like the thought or not.  I am well aware that I gave my allegiance to the Horde and I also know that I gave my allegiance to Lady Sylvanas – what’s one more to add to the list?

Yucko!   No, I’m not one to complain too often, however, what’s a Forsaken girl supposed to do around all of these Blood Elves with their fabulous hair and it’s all I can do to keep what little I have on my head.  Here, Hazey, wear this helm so that when you take it off, half of your hair stays in there.  Nope, ain’t gonna happen or I am going to have to see a wig shop somewhere, roll a few of these furry Pandaren for some fur or something.

I suppose I could waltz into Orgrimmar, claim brain damage and go back to Silvermoon and pledge my allegiance to the Lord Regent, can’t say that I care that much for Garrosh, big green stupid guy and I’m a bit concerned about the one eyed dude in Silvermoon City.   I mean, we could replace Garrosh’s brain with one that is functional and give the Regent Lord a new eyeball, although  I suppose that some people think he’s a sexy beast with that eye patch.   Well, from an all female perspective, he is a sexy beast – too bad he’s a Blood Elf and already knows how handsome he is.

I’ve been able to slip away and hit Undercity a few times to visit with Bri a bit.  She seems to be doing okay and I just wish she’d speed it up with that tailoring and enchanting business she has going on.  I could use some new duds other than the armor I have on my back.   Yeah, I told her I thought it was a bad idea to stop doing the leatherworking thing, however, she just put me on ignore and did what she wanted too.   I asked her to go to Orgrimmar and check on the house there because I haven’t been back since I got shipped out.  I just want to make sure that I don’t have some people living in there on my dime, you know what I mean?  I know how landlords are and sometimes they will double-dip on the gold if they think that they can get away with it.

I found a little farm in Halfhill and I got the place cheap.  No furniture, roof leaks like a sieve and let’s just say that I am making friends with the vermin.  I swear they are pushy little beasts, I think I have some living in the house with me some nights because I hear that little chittering sound that they make  – ewww, maybe they are under the house.  I don’t mind the spiders and rats that much, they make it seem homey, just wish I could find a decent coffin to put in the place, then, it would really be home.

I just had to find a place of my own and get away from that ranger camp business.  I mean, I can only take so much of the living as it is because they always look at me like I crawled out from under a rock  – well, maybe it’s because that’s the only place I could find to sleep when the tents were all full of Blood Elves.  My mind was about to explode with all of the talk about makeup, hair products and what or who they were going to sleep with when they got leave to go back to Silvermoon.  Well, the makeup thing was kind of interesting, however, I already know that I can put on makeup and I’ll still look like I do – walking corpse with hair that might have belonged to someone else, however, as they say about chubby girls – I have a great personality. I’m still laughing at the “chipped nails” thing – I have to worry about losing a finger just from pulling back my bowstrings.

I really like the Jade Forest so far.  Not too busy, not too boring at all.  I just like exploring.  I stumbled into this place called Dawn Blossom and I have found a lot of interesting things.  I will remind myself that the next time I see an egg on the ground to just leave the blasted thing there.

Yep, found an egg and returned it to those people across the way and now, I’m a Momma of a dragon, well, kind of a dragon thing.  It’s green, it squeaks and eats a lot of food, mostly fish and tiger flanks.  Nothing would do that I had to learn how to take care of it.  Well, no one asked me if I wanted to do it, they just kind of nicely insisted.  Of course, now, when I’m not in Halfhill or Dawn Blossom, I’m out learning how to ride one of those beasts.   Okay, I’ll go along with it and see how it all works out, however, if that little thing doesn’t stop pooping all over the place, I’m going to put a cork in it.

Yep, I think I’m doing just fine up here in Pandaria except for the military part.  Got a little piece of dirt that I am going to turn into a farm with a house of sorts.  Now, I have this little beastie to take care of – it’s like having children or something.   I suppose I’ll have to invite Bri to visit sometime, however, I don’t think I’m quite at that stage yet – she might get the idea that she would like to stay.

Yeah, leave it to Zippie to know where I am.  Got a letter with a few more contracts to fill and payment for that last shipment that I shipped to her in Silvermoon.  I guess she doesn’t want me to get bored or something.  I don’t have time to get bored  – I guess I’m lucky that I don’t sleep that much because there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done.

Hazey Smythe

 

 

 

 

 

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