I will have to admit that I am still very angry with Kal. He promised me faithfully that he would not get into any more predicaments when he went to Stormwind and he lied. Not only did he lie, he just ignored the fact that he had made the promise – he never said that, exactly, however, he did look terrible when he got home the other morning. Yes, it was morning again, not the same day that he had left either. It was supposed to be a quick trip and back to Halfhill – however, it turned into one of those two day events with a sleepover in Stormwind.
I know that he is used to living his own way, however, that wasn’t the plan when I left the Sentinels. I was going to work with him and help make money and work on the farm with him as well. Now, it seems I get left behind at the farm and off he goes adventuring in Stormwind. I am not sure that I care for some of his friends, although, they seemed to tolerate my presence the last time I saw any of them while I was still in the Sentinels.
It’s not like he forced me to leave the Sentinels, I did it for myself and for him. He no longer wanted to be a Scout and I didn’t feel comfortable going out in the field for days at a time learning him at home, maybe I should have just stayed with the Sentinels because now I am the one that is being left behind in Halfhill.
I truly gave up the only life that I have known to be with him because I love him beyond reason, which, may be a bit one sided. He says that he loves me, however, his actions her lately are not showing that to me that much. He’s all apologetic and he is constantly giving me gifts, however, I need to sit him down and tell him that he can’t buy my forgiveness nor can he buy my love with money and gifts. That’s not how that works or that’s how I feel.
When he got home the other morning, I was so angry at his appearance and his extended absence that I just walked out of the house. I know that I didn’t even ask him if he was okay. His armor looked a mess, he had burn marks on his arms and a few places on his ears, however, I wasn’t going to ask him what happened. All I know is that he went to Stormwind and was supposed to pick up more contracts from Magdamia and come back after he had gotten paid for the stock and contracts we had completed.
I haven’t been home in almost a week now and I know that he is looking for me, however, I know Pandaria almost as well as he does, so, I know how to stay out of sight as much as possible. I just need some time to think things over and decide what it is that I want to do. Do I want to stay in this relationship that seems to have gone eschew and a bit one sided or do I want to go back to the Sentinels and try to put this behind me?
It just breaks my heart to think that I have given almost everything up to be with the man that I love and he is just wild and crazy. I never saw this side of him when he was my Scout and we were living together even though we both had our duties to attend too. I know that now that he doesn’t have to follow the discipline of the Sentinels, he’s kind of gone off the deep end a little bit with his independence.
I know we’re both young and we should take our time, however, I do think that he and I need to sit down and talk about a few things. I can’t stand this constant evasion of telling me beforehand that he is going to meet his friends in Stormwind and he might be gone longer than what we had planned initially. I am tired of worrying about him and tired of the fact that I get left behind most of the time. Yes, I love the farm and I love the house that we have built together, however, I wasn’t planning on being there alone.
Maybe this comes from his mix-breeding, I don’t know and I doubt that this is something that I can talk to his Mother about. I need to talk to someone and see how they think I should feel about the whole thing. I know that I will probably go talk to some of the girls back at the camp although I am loathe to do that because they will gossip about how Kal and I aren’t getting along or something. Maybe I can talk to one of the Pandaren monks and see what he or she advises or just maybe go back to Darnassus and seek counsel with the priests and pray to Elune for a while.
I’m not going to let Kal know where I am right now, let him think about the things that have happened and he needs to make a few choices and adjustments, I can’t be the only one doing that.