Things Left Unsaid…

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

 

July 28th

Dear Journal,

I  am in Pandaria.  Yes, I did take the coward’s way out of what happened in Silvermoon with Agatha for the simple reason, it was something that was bound to happen at some point and I guess after my visit to Dalaran, I was more than a bit upset with my emotions being completely raw and what was intended as comforting from her turned into passion rather rapidly.  It isn’t as if this sort of thing hasn’t happened before, which it has, however, I have made it a point to remain faithful to my wedding vows with Amyn – which I have failed at completely as of this writing.

I think that I could half way forgive myself for the night of passion, however, I can’t forgive myself for the following morning which lead to another romp under the sheets. I knew then and I know now that it was wrong to even get started in that direction.

I did talk with Agatha about what happened and I think that she is somewhat embarrassed by it all and yet, she’s very understanding.  She asked me if I wanted her to leave my employment to make sure that it never happened again and I told her to stay, in fact, I begged her to stay.  People don’t realize that Agatha has been with me through a lot of things in the past and is the only Sindorei woman that has been with me almost as long as Amyn has been.  Yes, there are some feelings there, a bond that is deeper than just a friendship, yet, I can’t exactly call it love, it’s a different feeling.  It’s like a partnership much deeper than the one that I have developed with Dawnglory over the years.

I’m anxiously waiting for Amyn to arrive in Halfhill now and anxious to spend some much needed time with her.  I fully intend on telling her about my trip to Dalaran, however, I am not planning on telling her about what happened between Agatha and myself.  Amyn has gone through a lot over the years in our relationship and I can’t expect her to go through anymore of my fiascos.  Sure, she knew when I had been with these other women, it might be just something that is akin to woman’s intuition or something like that – she always seems to know.  If she asks me if I have been with another woman, I will try to just cover things up as best I can.

One of the things that I have learned over the years is that once a  Sentinel, always a Sentinel.  I don’t care if you take a Sentinel and put them in the most domestic of situations, that Sentinel is still there, waiting to come out.   I realize fully when Amyn’s Sentinel is in charge of things – like the time she actually shot me in Feralas during a heated argument and I walked away from her in a huff.  That’s not the first time that she has caused me physical injury and I doubt it will be the last.  I think that is part of her appeal to me and always will be, it gives our relationship a hint of danger on an intimate level that I have never found with anyone else.   Dawnglory tells me that I like playing with “fire” and I told him that I probably do, however, it is indeed a lovely fire that I am playing with – my wife is truly my love, my life and my world.  I honestly don’t know what I would do without her either.  That’s why I am not going to tell her about what happened.

I know I always feel better when I can escape the confines of Silvermoon.  It’s like being able to take a breath of fresh air and being to move freely without any concerns about what others will think about you up here.  It’s the frontier to a new land that we are all still exploring at different levels.

I am also hoping that I will run into my sister while I am up here too.  She is still with the Rangers and from what I hear, she is trying to conform to the ways of the group although it is being forced upon her.  I want to talk to her about a plethora of things, things that she has done and what she can expect from me in the future.  No, no matter what she has done and what she might do in the future, she is still my sister even if she isn’t of my blood.  I’m the adopted one, that’s what she points out when she gets insanely angry with me, however, she seems to forget that I was chosen, not an accident of birth.  True, there is a difference, however, I think that my adoptive parents loved me as much as they did either of their daughters that came after I was in the family.  We were, in fact, a family – the division came when my parents died and I had to take on the responsibility of raising Faendra on my own as well as trying to find my sister that had been lost in the invasion.  At least Felaran has turned out decently, even if she is Death Knight.

The farm looks like it is doing well and from what I have seen of the accounts for the place, it’s definitely showing a profit.  I certainly do wish that I could spend more time in Pandaria than I have in the past few months because this is where I feel like a normal person – this is where I can feel like I am a part of things and not closeted away behind the social norms in Silvermoon.  I know that I have done both before – being a Ranger and being a businessman, however, I think that the entire Horde seems to be in flux these days.

There is a definite undercurrent brewing within the political factions of the Horde.  I think that we are all in agreement that Garrosh is an incompetent Warchief and should be removed from power.  I’m not fool and do realize that the rebellion is going in the favor of the rebels and I expect to hear that Garrosh has been overthrown any day now. Yes, my allegiance has been sworn to the Regent and I have removed myself from the political gristmill of Orgrimmar as well as resigning from the Ambassadors Council there.

I know that I have been invited back to participate in that council again and I haven’t given an answer as of yet because I am uncertain of the actual details of my involvement.  I know that I didn’t leave things very pleasantly when I resigned and went on my way.  I just wonder what it is that they want from me this time.  I can work as some kind of mediator with things, however, I am not going to get as deeply involved with the inner workings of the Horde as I was when I was there the last time – the cost was too dear for me to even contemplate doing that again.

I did lose my hold on the company in Orgrimmar when Garrosh declared his martial law there and I did lose a lot of material goods at the same time that I was unable to get shipped out beforehand.  I know that I will never have any true holdings in Orgrimmar again due to the fact that I feel that the political parties in that one centralized city cannot be trusted on any level.  Call me a racist if you wish, however, I feel more secure in dealing with the political parties amongst my own people – not something that is Orc dictated. When the Troll rebellion does eventually take over the city, I wonder what kind of expectations will be there for the people in the city.  Will they be mistreated the way that they have been with the Orcs running roughshod over them?  What will truly be the difference in the way that things are run, what new spin will the Horde be lead with?  So many questions and no answers on the horizon until it is finally disclosed.

I think that one of the things that Amyn and I will be doing once she gets here is to go stay at one of the little hideaways that have enjoyed in the Jade Forest.  It is very isolated and it is also far enough away from Halfhill that it would take someone some time to find it, if they even could.   I know that Dawnglory is here in the village now and I’ve already spoken with him a bit and we plan on doing some hunting and fishing together while I am here this time.  He has turned into quite the family man and I will have to admit that I am very envious of him at times – he’s happy in a way that I could never enjoy when my children were small.

Fnor Morningstar

What’s Going On…

*Sorry, kind of long winded this time, however, there was a lot to cover.*

 

July 22nd

Well, it has been a busy week in-game and I think that I have been playing quite a bit more on the Alliance side trying to get that guild up to Level 25 before WoD smashes that down to nothing again.  I’ll willingly admit that I will miss the guild leveling, not just for the perks, but the way that it helped build a team with the members of the guilds.  Oh well, all things must change, I suppose.

Horde Guild – SafeHaven

This guild was a work in progress in getting it level 25 and now, working on the guild achievements slowly but surely.  All of the professions are now covered by hard working characters and I’ll admit to a few boosts as well.  However, it does make life a bit more pleasant to be able to be “free standing” most of the time and be able to take care of the needs of the guild “in-house” without having to ask for assistance from people outside of the guild.   I can say with some pride and sense of accomplishment that I did the leveling on this guild solo for the most part.

I did have a few people join me after the guild was capped and it’s been nice having people with me although it appears that there are only two of us that play on a regular basis. That’s okay because we both take a more leisurely approach to things that some of the more aggressive players in the game  – it’s fun collecting pets and mounts on our hunters of just running around doing archeology.

Alliance Guild – Haven

Now this guild isn’t nearly as old as the Horde guild and wasn’t as active on any level, however, the work was slowly being done and the guild levels were getting there.  This has also been a major learning tool for me, again, as a guild master with other people in the guild to contend with.  I had leveled the guild from Level 1 to Level 17 completely alone.  The guild is now a Level 20.  I definitely appreciate the help that the new guild members have given in the support of leveling the guild.

I had initially kept a pretty open guild bank to all members, however, I have found that having people that are “power leveling” their characters have a tendency to grab what they need from the bank and never bother replacing it for the people that are following along behind. Oh, I had the bank set up to where they could take as much as they wanted, which was a huge mistake on my part, and I have since changed that.  With seven bank tabs, the place was either a junk yard for future leveling characters for my own personal alts or it was a stockpile of mats. Well, let’s just say that when I would try to level one of my alts, the mats were always gone – almost bankrupted my poor GL and Main trying to keep up with the supply and demand.  So, I changed the amount of stacks that a person could take at one time – so, that stopped the bleeding.

I know I probably made some of my guildies unhappy but after trying to diplomatically explain that there were other players that needed mats to level as well as they did and nothing was being done to “help out” with the restocking of the bank, I was left with only once choice.  I definitely had a moment where I thought long and hard about the actions that I took, however, it’s done now and things appear to be back to normal, however, the “power leveling” has kind of taken a slow down without everything being furnished to them.  I purged the bank – took everything that was being used currently and vendored it or sent it off to the AH for money.  Since I had spent the last year stocking the bank and have only had new members in the guild for the last two months, I didn’t feel compelled to share the “wealth” although it didn’t amount to that much when you think about all of the hours of work that I, personally, had put into the guild.  To be very honest, I was tired of competing for mats in the bank that I had either earned or purchased for the alts to use.

I’ve also had an influx of “new” members joining the guild since everyone had the opportunity to invite anyone they chose.  Of course, the guild titles are handled by myself and I have reached the point to where if I don’t know the character or the person behind that character, they aren’t getting “free” access to anything.  I asked that each member put an identifier on the character so that I would know who these “alts” belonged too.  It’s just common courtesy from my point of view, however, few have complied with my request – I’ve already made the decision that if a character does not have an identifier on it – out they go, I’m tired of playing this game of  “let’s see how many characters I can roll and stuff in the guild” and they just sit there with zero activity for a month.  I have to laugh because of the fact that 35 of the characters in the guild are my own and that includes the only 90s in there (9-10).  The roster jumped from my 35 to 50 within the span of ten days – I found friends of friends of friends in the guild that I didn’t know that would start talking to me – primarily asking for things from the bank if they didn’t have bank permissions; etc.

One thing that I am proud to say is that all of the professions are covered in the guild now due to a well thought out boost on my part.  Now, I just have to spend the time to go back and build reputations and such on these boosted characters.  I really don’t mind doing this either because it is relatively easy to do on a level 90 and you can pretty much blow through them fairly easily.  Now, I can step back and enjoy leveling my alts and learn the real mechanics in how to play them from the lower levels to cap.  At least I don’t feel the need to power level my characters as much as I did in the past and can actually take my time to enjoy each facet and level.  Will I made it to end-game with all of them – most assuredly NOT.  I really do have a life outside of World of Warcraft.   I may be the worst Death Knight player that ever hit the game, however, I’m learning a lot through my mistakes and learning how to play solo as well as taking a shot at tanking now and again.

I’m actually going to kick back and get back to enjoying the game as a whole and not feel nearly as “driven” as I was in getting the guilds to max level as well as all of the professions.  If the Alliance guild makes it to Level 25 between now and WoD dropping, that’s awesome, if not, I’m not going to worry about it.  I think by taking a few shortcuts here and there, I will finally be able to take the time to actually start doing the things that I like – I love to RP and will talk to just about anyone as long as they aren’t Mary Sue’s or trying to God Mode my characters into something that I “know” they wouldn’t agree too.  Woot!  Might even get the chance to go back and do some transmog at my leisure instead of being stuck with the stock models.

Beta Testing

OMG!  Finally got another of my Night Elf females copied over to see what she looks like and she’s not half bad – the hair color is all wrong, not the stark white that I prefer, something that has a color that I’m not sure what to call it now.  The first female that I brought over had the facial markings and looked extremely unhappy about life in general – or she was just constipated and there aren’t any facilities on Draenor.

I won’t reiterate my week long stay at my Garrison with broken quests because I finally escaped that through the last rebuild and found my character in Silvermoon.  At least I was free from the grunts and groans of the peons and could move around the rest of the game and not be literally held prisoner at the Garrison.  Have I been back to Garrison and tried to complete the broken quests?  Oh, hell no.  Haven’t wanted to risk another imprisonment.    I might do that this week and hope that I don’t get stuck there again or I will just kind of wait until the “bugs” are vanquished and I can play my hunter without his pet disappearing every time I change a zone.

Flying or No Flying in Draenor – well, if you’re imprisoned in your Garrison, it’s kind of a moot point.  I do want to get out and explore more areas and see what the game is actually going to be like.  I am in hopes that things improve as I try to progress further along, however, I am moving slowly and with great trepidation.  I have ordered WoD for all of my accounts, however, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I am going to jump right in there when the game goes live.  I’m not real impressed with the Garrisons so far, however, mine has been broken for so long that I think that the “Commander” has left the building.

Let’s see, in real life.

Well, just celebrated my spouse’s birthday as well as our granddaughter’s birthday. Yep, baby just turned four years old and she is a definite blast to spend time with.  Of course, Grandma and Grandpa are going to spoil her rotten once we have the opportunity to spend a bit more time with her – yep, we’re probably going to be doing some childcare in the Fall, which will definitely cut down on some of my WoW time, however, RL family has a priority over all things.   I do like to make her laugh because she sounds just like a little gnome or even a goblin female when they laugh – yeah, I know, I’m weird.

 

 

 

My Transgression…

July 15th,

Dear Journal,

Oh, By The Sunwell!! I am so embarrassed about what has happened between Fnor and I at the moment that I wish I could crawl under my bed and never come out.  Something happened that I am sure he regrets more than could be put into words.   I am so sorry that I gave into the weakness of the flesh, however, it’s kind of hard to avoid when the man that I’ve loved for so many years is in need of some emotional bolstering and my own physical needs are screaming in my mind.

It isn’t often that I’ve seen the man show his emotions as exposed as he did last night and it almost broke my heart.  To see him so devastated by all of the things that have been going on with his sister and with things going on with the business, I’m not surprised that he had reached his breaking point – it was bound to happen, I suppose.  I was just trying to offer him some physical comfort and it just went well beyond what I had intended – for both our sakes.

I had planned on discussing my daughter, not really my youngest sibling, and letting him know about her, however, when I walked into his study, I was shocked to see him in the condition that he was in.  I haven’t heard him sob like that since his losses in Dalaran, a woman that I think he might have loved and his unborn child.

I think he made a huge mistake by taking that trip back to Dalaran because I think that it tore the scab from a healing wound that hadn’t properly scared over.   I had no idea that that was where he was going when he left Silvermoon or I would have tried to talk him out of it.  I’ve heard stories here in Silvermoon about the people that are stills stranded there in the prisons – it’s horrible to think of.  Anyway, my daughter told me she had seen him return and I wanted to see how things went and how he had handled it.

I was totally unprepared for what I walked into when I went into his study.  Poor man was devastated beyond words.  I knew the minute that I stepped into the room that I should have left, however, I couldn’t walk away and leave him there crying like a child – it tugged at my heartstrings like no other with the exception of my daughter’s tears.  I don’t think there is anything worse to see or hear than a grown man crying – it just breaks my heart.  I think it is terrible that men can’t show their emotions because it’s deemed unseemly, however, how much can a man hold in without just going off the deep end.  I know I’ve seen Fnor come very close to that in the past, poor fellow – such a caring man.

He told me about how the house had been destroyed inside and how he almost cried there.  Poor fellow was really shaken and shocked by what he had seen.  I know the hours and the money that he put into that place to call it his home.  He always considered it a thing that showed he had finally “arrived” in his own mind with the Silvermoon society.   It was his pride and joy and a place where he always took pride in inviting people to visit or even to live for a time.  I have never seen a man put so much blood, sweat and tears into a building like he did that house – it was his “home” and a way that he felt that he had climbed out of his common background as a Ranger to a successful businessman. I know that it almost had to have killed him to abandon all that when he heard the rumors prior to the event of the actual purge – he got his wife and family out before that happened, even if he did have to leave some of his precious belongings behind.  Poor fellow.

We’ve barely had a moment alone since it happened, so, I’m sure that we both would like to talk about it because I know that I feel guilty and knowing him the way that I do, he probably feels more than just a little bit of the guilt.  I know that he loves his wife more than life itself and to have fallen and broken his marriage vows that I know he takes very seriously must be preying on his mind.

I still need to build up my courage and tell him about his daughter because I know that the truth is going to come out eventually and I would much rather that it comes from me.  I know that a few of my own friends have made the comment that my sister looks an awful lot like Fnor and they have given me quite a few teasing moments in regard to that.  I honestly don’t think that she looks that much like him although some of her mannerisms are definitely his and her attitude. I guess I will just have to bid my time and wait until he isn’t as emotionally in a turmoil.  I know my own emotions are a bit shaky right now as well.

Agatha

 

 

A Death Knight’s Wandering Mind…

July 13th

Dear Journal,

I know that I am really sitting here just kind of giggling at my beloved Felaran and her chattering away about her family.  There have been times that I have regretted not being able to remember much about my past life, however, I think sometimes it is a blessing in disguise.  I do have flashbacks from time to time but they are mostly garbled and don’t make much sense to me.  I’m happy that I don’t have my hands full with family issues and things because it does seem as though there is a lot energy wasted in that arena without much positive feedback from the targeted people.

Yes, Faendra is definitely here in Pandaria and I did tell Felaran that and I think that she was hoping that I was mistaken, however, I was pretty sure I wasn’t in the wrong there.  I guess she saw the little git at the market place in Halfhill and she ran away from her – that was bound to happen and Fel is extremely angry with her right now.

I am so bad, I ‘m doing the thing that a lot of people do.  I’m sitting here working on some of my gem cutting and putting together some nice pieces for sale as I listen to Fel talk in the background.  I think I do the appropriate head nod and the occasional responses seem to be working out okay, however, I am not really paying that close attention to what is really being said.  This might bite me in the backside eventually, however, right now, I’d much rather work on my jewelry rather than getting involved in the family issues.

Fuzzbutt and I have been busy doing our fishing thing and relaxing when we’re not working on the farm and I’m not on duty.  Kind of nice to be able to take a break from things and just waste time, it’s not like I don’t have a whole lot of time in my life now or in the future.   I know that Fel gets a little bit upset with me sometimes because I am one of those people that can very easily lose track of time without really trying.

Earlier today, it’s my day off in truth, Fuzz and I went to the Jade Temple and spent a great deal of time there just fishing and I had some laundry that I needed to take care of for the two of us too.  I know it’s kind of silly of me to enjoy my cat as much as I do with my little cat.  I like to watch him run and chase down butterflies, it makes me laugh when he takes these flying leaps in hopes of actually catching one – sometimes he gets lucky, however, most of the time he ends up splashing into the water here at the Temple and has this look of “I meant to do that” plastered all over his water soaked face. Naturally, I do try to hide my laughter so as not to insult his dignity.  Fel tells me that I am attributing too many “feelings” to the cat, however, I disagree – animals have feelings just like most of us bipeds.

I know that I wonder at some of the people here in Pandaria.  Some of them are very ignorant about things.  Well, especially ignorant of Death Knights – we may be dead, however, we aren’t exactly all brain damaged to the point of being one step above the mindless  scourge.  I was sitting in our camp in the Jade Forest the other day when I overheard a conversation about more political intrigue going on – I am great at listening in and garnering information.   I know about the things going on in Orgrimmar even if I have been fortunate enough to avoid being put in the middle of it.  People tend to talk more freely around me because I appear to be more of the silent type of Death Knight and maybe they think that I am too “dead” to really comprehend anything of any importance.  Oh, they are so wrong in that area.

I know that Fel and I are oath bound to the Horde, however, our hearts are still very much bound to Silvermoon and the Regent, which will override the oath to the Horde that seems to be determined to destroy itself internally.  Garrosh is still making the mistake of putting his precious Orcs ahead of all of the other races in the Horde and driving more of his other supporting further away.  I know that the Blood Elves put in the cursory appearance, however, the treatment that I have heard about with the Tauren seems like the fool is trying to drive them away as well.   I know about the guards in Orgrimmar surrounding the Trolls confined there, however, the way that the guards are now crossing over into the Horde section is something that bothers me more than a little bit.

The whole fiasco of how Garrosh came into power in the first place has always been disgraceful in my eyes, however, I can understand why Baine has aligned his people with the Horde anyway.  A united front always presents a better offensive and defensive force in any military action, however, with the way that Garrosh is doing things right now, he’s alienating all the races from his support with the exception of his pure Orcs.

I know that some of the Ranger recruits that I am working with were voicing their opinions the other day about the fact that we may have an option to change our allegiance to the Alliance.   I’m not so sure that that is a good idea at this juncture.  They seem to have forgotten the betrayals that have occurred in the past with the same group of people.  Even the Forsaken have been betrayed in the past with that group.  I’m not so sure that the Blood Elf society would be better off forming this kind of Alliance.  I kept my mouth shut and kept my thoughts to myself, however, I didn’t like the discussion or the reasons why they felt that the Alliance would better serve our race.  We would be considered an expendable group of people and that is totally not how I would like us to be viewed by either faction.   Have these youngsters even given a thought to what happened at Theramore and the aftermath in Dalaran?  I think not.

From my own political view, my personal feelings anyway, I think that we’re doing the right thing in keeping our alignment within the Horde, however, we’re taking the lead from the Regent rather than from Garrosh.  We have been used for cannon fodder too many times in the past with both factions.  If our race is to survive, we need to keep things as they are right now – align with the Horde, however, keep it in your mind to follow the direction of the Regent.  It’s a risky game that we’re playing because there may come a time where Garrosh may decide to turn against us too, you never know with that madman.  I did voice my opinion to Fel when I got home and explained to her what I had overheard at the camp, she agreed with me at least.  Anyway, it does cause the two of us some concerns about some of our plans for the future – we’re moving ahead with our plans, however, we are very guarded as to how far we extend ourselves.

So, while I am making jewelry for sale to make gold for the two of us, I am also stockpiling a lot of my materials and hiding it away.  You never know which way this crazy war is going to go and if we are going to be able to survive the political upheaval that it brings with it.  I think that Felaran realizes what I am doing and she just kind of turns her head to it or chooses to avoid the thoughts.  I am trying to make it so that if another thing happens like Dalaran that we aren’t left totally unable to support ourselves in whatever future society happens along.  I have to laugh at myself because I have a feeling that some of this hoarding away of things may stem from my past, even if I don’t remember it.  I don’t think that we will ever have another Lich like Arthas, however, you never know what kind of power might befall us.  I know that Fel has been talking about going to Shattrath lately to check out the new warehouse facilities there, so, there may be an area where I can stash some of this stuff too.

Since Shattrath is the only neutral city left on Azeroth I don’t think that it would be a mistake on my part to start planting the seeds in Fel’s head that we might want to start looking at finding a place to live there in case we are driven away from Pandaria by some unforeseen event.

My goodness, my brain is wandering around today too.  I’m dwelling on the past and trying design plans for a future that hasn’t happened yet, however, I do want to be prepared just in case.   I do have a serious side to my personality, however, I do prefer the more fun side  – enough of this drivel, Ty – get back to work and finish up this contract for the matching earrings and necklace that I’ve promised to get to Zippie in Silvermoon next week.

Tylanlor 

Finding My Way…

July 11th

Dear Journal,

This being disowned by the family because I didn’t follow the straight and narrow course to becoming a mage has worked out fairly for me.  Being a mage was so boring to me and there are so many of them in Silvermoon, I’m sure that I won’t be missed by some of classmates either.

I have discovered that living on the edge and following the darker side of the magicks is much more fulfilling to me personally and quite profitable, all at the same time.  I just have to be extremely careful around some people because if they knew who and what I was, I’m sure that it would cause them some distress.   I’m sure that one young lady that I bedded recently would probably not be too thrilled to find out that she had been with a warlock – one of those evil fellows that society tells these women to stay away from.  It’s not being a warlock is contagious, it’s just a different kind of lifestyle.

I’m sure that some of my former friends are wondering why I wandered away from town and set up shop where I have.  Well, I’ll let them wonder, I’ve been telling them it was to further my studies through practical uses – I think my close friends actually know.  Anyway, life is treating me fairly well and I can’t complain.

I can’t explain to anyone the feelings that I have when I actually start destroying something with my magic.  It’s almost like a tonic of sorts, it makes me feel powerful and I like that feeling.  Controlling my minions is definitely a power trip although I am indeed wary of the succubus because she does try to seduce me every chance she gets.  From what I have read and from what I have heard a few others of my ilk talk about them, it’s almost like they try to seduce their masters to take the power away and put themselves in control, I won’t let that happen although she is very tempting at times. I’m working harder with my skills and I hope that one day I can do all of the things that I want to do – like amass a fortune of my own.

I did get to visit with my Mother not long ago.  She seems to be missing her only son quite a bit and even though my Father has forbidden me the house, she still considers me a part of the family even if my Father doesn’t any longer.  I know there is a special bond between Mothers and their children and I willingly admit that I do miss her and my sisters quite a bit sometimes.  My Father?  Well, I don’t miss him all that much because he truly has shown his true colors with the way that he carried on when he found out I was practicing the dark arts and not what he was paying the school for.  Oh well, maybe someday he will still realize that I’m his son, no matter the taint.

I have to say that I have gotten over any qualms I may have had about barging in on social events being held in and around the Ghostlands.  That’s how I meet people sometimes and while I am enjoying my new found freedom, I still have that craving for social interactions with my own kind.  It’s a normal thing and not one that I am going to say is not exactly the correct thing to do either.  I’ve met quite a few people just by chance and I’d like to make friends with them sometime in the future, however, I can only allow them to get so close without revealing what I am.

I know I made the choice to become a warlock and I haven’t regretted it yet, however, there may come a time when I do, you never know about life choices.  I do understand that once you’ve taken this path that there is really no way back – once you’ve tasted the taint of the magic, it will always be a part of you – there is no cure for it.

Solerin

 

The Joys of Family Life…

* Warning – some swearing and explicit descriptions – please do not read if you’re easily offended.*

 

 

 

July 9th

Yo Book!!

Whatever in the hell are some of my friends thinking?  Sometimes it’s hard to tell friends from foes these days especially when you’re not around to watch the fuckers constantly.  It seems that someone had the brass balls to tell Faendra that I was living in the main farming area of Halfhill and now, I’m pretty damned fucking sure that she will start stalking in earnest when she has the time to spare away from her duties.  Hope she never gets any time off because it sounds like she is a miserable Ranger – which ought to make her brother real proud of that kind of thing showing up in the family lineage.  Let’s hope that he doesn’t really care and has washed his hands of the situation entirely.

Well, I’m not going to dwell on that shit right now because I have more important things to think about and more things to enjoy in life than to wonder about the antics of some lunatic woman that has chosen to make “me” one of her life’s goals – ain’t gonna happen biotch!

Anyway, I’m sitting here with a huge smile on my face this morning because Mirrin finally called me Dada.  Stupid, I know, however, there are times that I just can’t help myself when it comes to my little daughter.  She can make my heart melt with just a smile or the way that she will laugh at me when I am deliberately trying to get her to do so – I love her laugh, kind of sounds like a goblin’s laugh, only smaller.

Romy and I still haven’t gotten married yet because we haven’t made the decision of when and where, however, I don’t really need a piece of paper telling me of my commitment to her or the baby. I just think that we should go ahead and get it over with because I heard a few comments when I was carrying Mirrin around in the market the other day that totally displeased me.   My daughter is not a bastard, she was just born before we got married, that’s all, however, I know how the people of Silvermoon can be when it comes to birthrights and so forth.  I don’t want anyone daring to cast aspersions on my little girl when she gets old enough to mingle with the people in Silvermoon.

I know how it felt when I went to Silvermoon as an orphan from Shattrath.  I was practically a full grown man at that point and some of the things that were said to me and about me really did sting in the worst way – I won’t let my little girl go through that.  Fnor was one of the lucky ones, he got a family to adopt him and give him a family name that he could be comfortable with – my family name that I use may not be the proper one anyway since it was made up by the matrons in Shatt.

I can’t force Romy to marry me, however, the weeks and months are going by and I see Mirrin growing up and the thoughts of not actually having that piece of paper really is starting to weigh on my mind.  I know that we can get married up here in Pandaria and get the paperwork filed in Silvermoon.  That way there would be no muss and fuss – no dresses, no robes and all the expenses that go along with that business.   We’ve already discussed getting married and then having the party at a later date – that works perfectly for me.  I guess I need to press Romy for a day when she wants to do that so that we can make arrangements to have a few days off to ourselves for a honeymoon of sorts – I like the idea of staying close here in Pandaria and letting Mooma take care of the baby for those few days.  It shouldn’t’ be too much of a bother for her, elf babies are like Tauren babies, only a lot smaller…and no hooves.

I will have to admit that I am liking the idea more and more about the warehouse here in Pandaria because it would mean that I’d have no reason to go to Silvermoon unless it was to visit my sister or if I wanted to attend some social gathering.  I think that Fnor has the right idea, however, I don’t think that he has thought about the personnel it will take to run the place properly – I don’t like the thought of combining his warehouse and his wife’s company’s warehouse together though because I think that that is asking for trouble.  Things are pretty relaxed up here in Pandaria, however, I don’t think that the nuances of combining the two together have really hit him in the head yet – we are not exactly “neutral” up here yet and I don’t foresee that coming anytime in the near future.  There still is a war going on, silly friend of mine.  Let Amyn have a warehouse in the same area or nearby, however, do not put them together in one building, foolish move, my man.

One of the reasons that we’ve delayed getting married and taking a honeymoon is that Mirrin is teething and Romy is trying to wean her from breastfeeding.  Makes for some interesting times and a cranky colic-stricken child until we find just the right mixture to replace the milk that Romy is still producing in huge amounts.  From the male point of view, I like the breast feeding and the size difference it made, however, I think it’s time for a change.   Poor little Mirrin really seems to be trying to get all of her teeth at once too, which means that either Romy or I end up walking the floors with her at night to sooth her and try to bring her some comfort.  I think it is really wearing on Romy’s nerves a bit, that’s why I try to help out as much as possible.  I know that Romy has been talking with some of the Pandaren ladies in regard to formulas as well as to our healer – I hope they find something soon, I think Romy and I both need the break and some sleep.

I know it’s probably silly of me, however, as I watch little Mirrin growing by leaps and bounds, I’m really tempted to talk to Romy about having a baby again.  I’ve kind of changed my mind a little bit about boys and I think that I would like to have a son.  No, I don’t mean slam-bam right now making a baby, however, sometime in the very near future so that the two kids can grow up together like Felessa and I did, kind of.  I don’t mind practicing in making babies at all, if Mirrin would stay asleep right now, I know where I’d be – practicing.

Well, I suppose I ought to get off my duff and make some breakfast for Romy and myself before I head back out and start working in the fields today.  Yes, it’s my turn to do the field work and hope that Jogu isn’t totally wasted today.  I’d also like to take the girls to the Jade Temple for some laundry, fishing and maybe a light picnic for dinner.

Fnar Dawnglory

Owner of Plantation

Halfhill, Pandaria

 

 

 

 

Be The Man That I Should Be…Stormwind Here I Come

July 8th

Dear Journal,

I don’t know why it is that I am the way that I am or it could be that maybe Elune had a plan for me in the future that I haven’t discovered yet.  I know that I get a lot of the family disapproval due to the fact that I just can’t seem to stay out of trouble.  My Grandmother is the only that seems to understand and she says that it is in my nature to be way that I am.  My Mother blames it on my being raised like a little heathen in Shattrath for a while before the whole family moved to Dalaran and we discovered that my half brother, Vashlan, is a mage.

I don’t know if it is a shock or a shame that that happened to the poor fellow because it definitely does make him decidedly different from biological brother and I.  Well, we won’t even bring up the fact that Vashlan is a half-breed either. From what people have told me is that this particular thing is a throwback to the days of the High Elves, which were driven out by our people.  Now my Mother has three sons that she can be proud of, Kaldor, the magnificent ex-Sentinel Scout, Vashlan, the almost great mage , Karing, the hunter that seems to do things naturally and there is me.  I don’t think that she is very happy with me at the moment and there isn’t much I can do to appease her anger at this point.

I’m exactly a career criminal, however, there are things that I have done that I got caught at, however, there are so many more that I didn’t get caught doing.  I know that my family has had to bail me out of jail a few times in my young life, however, I try not to get caught most of the time.

I think that it is the allure of something just laying there unattended, all shiny , and showing its value all too well that I can’t resist or something.  Most of the time it is fact that someone has told me not to take stuff and I can’t seem to help myself sometimes.  It’s like telling me “no” about something and I just have to go out of my way to do it.   Yes, I am plying my trade as a pickpocket and I must admit that it is the easiest money that I have ever gotten.  People prance around with these fat pouches like they don’t have a care in the world, and I just lighten their burdens for them, it’s actually rather easy.

Mom is planning on taking me to Stormwind for a while and I am looking forward to it quite a bit because it is such a target rich environment.  She wants me to work in the warehouse and learn the trade and learn how to be a merchant of sorts.  Well, I’ll go along with it to some degree to keep her happy and when I have my free time, I’ll do what I want to do and enjoy the most. My Step-Father says it’s the adrenalin rush that I am addicted too – he should know, being a Sindorei and having been addicted to his own kind of magic over the years.

He’s a nice enough sort, however, he will never really replace my Father.  There was a decent man, hunter by trade and one fellow that never really got into being associated with the Sentinels as a Scout.  He met my Mom when she was living in Shattrath alone with Vashlan and Kal while the Sindorei was off doing his thing out in the rest of the world.  Yeah, I know, my Mom was nothing more than his whore even if they did dress it up as her being a mistress of a wealthy man.  It was kind of embarrassing for me. It’s a shame that my real Father was killed in a hunting accident, however, I have learned to accept and respect my Stepfather- he is kind and generous with his money even if he isn’t as generous with his time as a Father.  I know that my Mother loves him dearly and that he is going to be the Father figure of the household forever unless something unforeseen happens.  You may never know about the future because accidents do happen, even to a man as power as he is.

I’ve been living with my Grandparents a lot in Dolonaar while my Mother has gone off and done her thing.  Now that she is running a business in Stormwind, she wants me to come there too.  If the truth were to be known, my Grandparents probably need a break from me because I know that my mischief hasn’t been easy for them to handle.  I know they have sent me to school, sent me to temple and lastly they are going to send me off with my Mother because they act like I am broken or something and need to be fixed to fit in with the rest of them.

I am what I am, I’m a rogue, a thief, a creature of the shadows and there isn’t anything that anyone can do to change that.  It’s like asking Vashlan not to be a mage – it’s in his makeup, just as being a rogue is in my nature, I can’t change, I don’t want to change – I like the rush and the challenges that I make for myself.  Maybe while I am in Stormwind, I can make the proper connections there and become the man that I should be.

Volardan Shadowmoon.