Finding My Way…

July 11th

Dear Journal,

This being disowned by the family because I didn’t follow the straight and narrow course to becoming a mage has worked out fairly for me.  Being a mage was so boring to me and there are so many of them in Silvermoon, I’m sure that I won’t be missed by some of classmates either.

I have discovered that living on the edge and following the darker side of the magicks is much more fulfilling to me personally and quite profitable, all at the same time.  I just have to be extremely careful around some people because if they knew who and what I was, I’m sure that it would cause them some distress.   I’m sure that one young lady that I bedded recently would probably not be too thrilled to find out that she had been with a warlock – one of those evil fellows that society tells these women to stay away from.  It’s not being a warlock is contagious, it’s just a different kind of lifestyle.

I’m sure that some of my former friends are wondering why I wandered away from town and set up shop where I have.  Well, I’ll let them wonder, I’ve been telling them it was to further my studies through practical uses – I think my close friends actually know.  Anyway, life is treating me fairly well and I can’t complain.

I can’t explain to anyone the feelings that I have when I actually start destroying something with my magic.  It’s almost like a tonic of sorts, it makes me feel powerful and I like that feeling.  Controlling my minions is definitely a power trip although I am indeed wary of the succubus because she does try to seduce me every chance she gets.  From what I have read and from what I have heard a few others of my ilk talk about them, it’s almost like they try to seduce their masters to take the power away and put themselves in control, I won’t let that happen although she is very tempting at times. I’m working harder with my skills and I hope that one day I can do all of the things that I want to do – like amass a fortune of my own.

I did get to visit with my Mother not long ago.  She seems to be missing her only son quite a bit and even though my Father has forbidden me the house, she still considers me a part of the family even if my Father doesn’t any longer.  I know there is a special bond between Mothers and their children and I willingly admit that I do miss her and my sisters quite a bit sometimes.  My Father?  Well, I don’t miss him all that much because he truly has shown his true colors with the way that he carried on when he found out I was practicing the dark arts and not what he was paying the school for.  Oh well, maybe someday he will still realize that I’m his son, no matter the taint.

I have to say that I have gotten over any qualms I may have had about barging in on social events being held in and around the Ghostlands.  That’s how I meet people sometimes and while I am enjoying my new found freedom, I still have that craving for social interactions with my own kind.  It’s a normal thing and not one that I am going to say is not exactly the correct thing to do either.  I’ve met quite a few people just by chance and I’d like to make friends with them sometime in the future, however, I can only allow them to get so close without revealing what I am.

I know I made the choice to become a warlock and I haven’t regretted it yet, however, there may come a time when I do, you never know about life choices.  I do understand that once you’ve taken this path that there is really no way back – once you’ve tasted the taint of the magic, it will always be a part of you – there is no cure for it.

Solerin

 

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