I’m still having a slight chuckle about a recent conversation that I had with a young Bull in the market here in Halfhill. Naturally, he definitely isn’t in the same condition that I am in, however, he was puzzled about how it was that I can remain so jovial and appear to be happy. After giving it some quick thought, my response was that I am happy because the alternative didn’t seem to be so pleasing. Being truly dead is something that I am not ever going to look forward to although the teachings have us believe that we will be in a happy place with our loved ones and in the full care of the Earth Mother.
Yes, I still go by my Death Knight name that was given to me when I was changed which is Sadheart, however, the people that knew me from before still call me by my given name of Naton Cloudhoof. What is in a name you ask? Well, I was none too pleased with being changed into my current state and that was why I was given the name that I was in Archerus. It fits me because there are days that I willingly admit that I wish that I was more mortal than I am currently – there are so many things that in my mind that I would like to do but this shell of a body no longer works in those ways. At least I am with my family, watching them grow older as the time passes, however, I am with them in the here and now which is what makes me happy.
Why do I laugh sometimes? Well, just because I’m Death Knight doesn’t mean that I can’t have a sense of humor because I most assuredly do. I can enjoy life with living as much as they can and I don’t see why that wouldn’t put a smile on anyone’s face. I can enjoy things as much as the next fellow. Do I have the same wants and needs as a living Bull – well, in my mind I do, however, there are certain things that don’t work quite the same any more since I have joined the ranks of the unliving. Yes, I would still like to have a family of my own some day, however, the possibility of having children has been taken from me, although, I wouldn’t mind marrying a woman that already has children as long as those said children would accept me for the person that I am and not “what” I am.
At least I have my business to keep me busy and yes, I do have to take a run every now and again to make sure that my Rune Sword is probably fed and satiated with its own type of wants. I know that it is hard for some people to realize that I am still a Death Knight and I do have those moments where the Knight has to become what he is – that’s usually when I will take off for a couple of days and do my thing.
My whole life or unlife changed for me when I became a Death Knight and some of the things that I have done in the past I am not exactly proud of and try to push those memories to the back of my mind, sometimes they escape and come racing back to the forefront, however, I have learned how to control that part pretty much. My life also took another huge change when I was released from the power of the Lich King because I was given control back to myself – no more voices commanding that I kill this or that and no more orders coming from on high that would direct me to places and do things that I would rather not think about. Yes, I will admit that these changes have all been a part of what makes me as I am today.
I will have to admit that I am not too unhappy with working for Morningstar Enterprises because the money is good, I know that my family will always be taken care of because Commander Morningstar is that much of a family oriented person. He actually bailed Maha and I out from being in service to the Horde and we’re contract people for him these days. Not that I was disloyal or anything to the Horde, however, I wasn’t too keen on following that crazy man that called himself a Warchief. He lost whatever shred of loyalty I had to the faction when he started his nonsense about the Pure Horde – which meant Orcs. Well, I know that Baine has sworn fealty to the Horde, however, I don’t think that he would disapprove of what it is that my family and I are doing, we’ve aligned ourselves with a Blood Elf and follow what he wants for his company. I know that I am not planning on ever getting myself involved in any kind of military action again in the near future, my body is tired, my mind is tired and I want to enjoy what this unlife has to offer to me now – a home, my family and an inner peace that I haven’t known since the days prior to becoming a Death Knight.
Yeah, I guess you should say that I am happy with my lot in life. Being a Death Knight is not all that I am, it’s being Naton Cloudhoof and being able to have some semblance of fitting back in with my people again and enjoying what all that entails. Sure, I get strange looks from people that still believe all of the old tales of the Scourge and how Death Knights were mindless killing machines, which we were, I won’t deny that, however, we all have been given a chance to fit back in with the rest of the people and I am going to take a gamble by enjoying it, whatever it brings.
I have spent the last few days spending some time with my baby brother, Tahfal and he is still following his teachings of being a Lightwalker, which is fine with me. If he is happy following that sort of thing, I am not going to pass judgment on him for it. He has been able to blend the teachings of the Earth Mother and the teachings from the Light into what he feels comfortable with. No, he isn’t always righteous and good and I know this – he’s still very much a young bull and will learn in time what it is that he really wants out of his life and his beliefs.
Naton “Sadheart” Cloudhoof