In Search of…


 

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author

November 6th

Dear Journal,

It always seems to happen when I am left here alone and in charge of the whole business without any help at this point in the office.  Zippie has decided to take off on a tangent and get out of the office for a while to have some fun, which I can’t blame her because I hate paperwork with a passion.  I think that I will get in touch with Dawnglory’s sister, Felessa, to see if she wouldn’t mind coming in to help me out for a while.  Oh, I know that she doesn’t need the money or anything like that because Dawnglory made a great match for her – she even has a baby now too.  Oh well, I’ll go talk to her and see if she will come help out for a bit, she can bring the baby.

My biggest issue is that Agatha has been gone for a month now and I am finding out just how much I relied on her very capable hands to keep the household running smoothly and keeping things in order.  Sure, she left her next in command to handle things as well as her sister here, however, it’s not Agatha.  I know that things have been a bit uneasy between us since our slip-up and I have felt a bit sad about that, however, I didn’t think it was bother her as much as it was me.  I thought that she was avoiding me quite a bit the last couple of weeks that she was here and I thought I understood why.   Oh well, I know that I just miss her and want her back where she belongs here in the house.

I will admit that I was a bit alarmed when I was talking to her sister, Adamia, and found out that Agatha hadn’t been feeling well before she left and it definitely has me concerned.   Okay, more than just a bit alarmed.  I decided that I would ride out the Inn her parents own and see how she was doing and to surprise her with a nice gift that I found.  She has always admired good crystal and I know that she had been looking at one particular goblet that had a red ruby imbedded in it – it is beautiful even if it was a bit pricey.  I thought that might cheer her up.

I get to the Inn and everyone acts surprised that I would travel outside the city to visit an employee.  Well, they were no more surprised than I was when I found out that Agatha wasn’t there and hadn’t been there for months.  Well, I had assumed that she would be visiting her family and after her sister told me of her illness, I was certain that she would be there.  No, she wasn’t there and her siblings didn’t know where she was and her Father acted like I was some kind weirdo and wouldn’t really come forth with much information.  I was able to finally talk to Agatha’s Mother and she told me that she knew where Agatha was and that she was indeed ill – she appears to have gone off to the shore to get better.  I couldn’t find out the exact location from her Mother, she was not forthcoming with a  whole lot of information and started acting very strangely and nervous.  Well, rather than to ruffle any more feathers, I took my leave and went back to Silvermoon.

Alright, I am not exactly a naive idiot and I know I’m not stupid, however, this whole situation has me very perplexed.  Yes, I am a happily married man and I love my wife more than words could even describe, however, I also have a special place in my heart for Agatha.  I have no intentions of hurting Amyn and I have no intentions of throwing away everything that we have together away, however, I do have feelings for Agatha as well although they are not nearly as strong as my feelings for my wife.

I know I could do one of two things to find out where and what is going on with Agatha.  I can sit here and wait to hear from her, which I know I will eventually, or I can start doing what I do for a living, going out and searching for her like I would if I had a bounty contract on her.  Part of me is telling that I should just go find her and the other part is telling me to wait because I could be barging into something that is none of my business – I mean, she does have a life outside of her employment with me and she may be off on a tryst or something.    I’m really very torn on the whole thing.

I know that I did enjoy the time that I had with Amyn in Pandaria recently, however, I did have a lot on my mind and I hope my love didn’t notice how I was distracted sometimes.  I wish that I could just tell her what happened between Agatha and I and not expect her to give me that look or just walk out, which she has done a time or two in the past.  I know that I wasn’t planning on breaking my vows and I still feel guilty about it.   I know that I have done things before we were married that would have made any other woman walk away, however, Amyn and I both have the boys to think about and I know that we both truly love one another.  Why does life have to be so complicated on the personal level all of the time – it just never seems to stop.

I also am more concerned about some of the mail that I have been getting lately as well as a couple of the appointments that I have attended with the Reagent along with several other businessmen.  I hope that all of the rumors that we have been hearing are not true and that we can try to continue on with our civilian lives, however, I am beginning to think that there may be something looming on the horizon that will have most of us back in uniform again whether we like the idea or not.   I know that if I have to go back into the military service again with my same commission, I won’t be happy, however, I will do my duty even if I’m not happy about it.

Someday I hope that we get a few years of peace and we get an opportunity to live our lives without some war or conflict shadowing everything that we do.  I know I would like to be able to sit back with my wife and children and enjoy life with them without something looming on the horizon like some bad weather cloud.  I know that our operations in Shattrath are really starting to come together and I want to talk to Amyn about actually setting up a more permanent residence there so that the two of us can stay together most of the time.

I think that I tend to “stray” when I am away from my wife and away from her for months at a time, it’s not easy having a long distance relationship or marriage and I know that it must be as difficult for her, although she does get to see the boys more often than I do. I miss my family life that we were just getting comfortable with in Dalaran before we were forced out.   Who knows, one day I might even become a grandparent and I would like to spend some time with those children, more than I have been able to do with my own sons.

Well, I need to stop writing this morning, just glancing back on what I have written, it looks like my mind is jumping about like a hare.  I know that I need to get off my backside, get out of the office and go do something with Pan, maybe a bit of hunting, maybe a quick trip to Orgrimmar to test out the political waters there.  I need to get out of Silvermoon for a while even if I just have to let the business run itself for a day or two.  I wish that Zippie would hurry up and get back because I don’t know how much more paperwork I can do before I start frothing at the mouth.

Fnor Morningstar

 

2 thoughts on “In Search of…

  1. O.O ! omg.. things are going to get really insane once he finds out the truth..especially when he learns he has a daughter that is grown …surprised he didn’t clue in when he saw Adamia,lol. Oh yes, things are going to get crazy.

    • Oh yeah!! Sometimes Fnor is just not that “aware” of certain things because Adamia looks very much like him and even has some of his mannerisms. I think he does the thing that we all tend to do – it could hit us square in the face and we’re in denial until it does. We shall see what happens next.

      Thanks for commenting, it’s very much appreciated. 😀

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