Is It Too Late To Start Over…

January 7th

Dear Journal,

Well, damn it!!  Here I have spent the last year of my life making my way to Pandaria so that I could get back with Dawnglory and he’s gone again!!  Now, I’m stuck with the Rangers, which I don’t like and now I am stuck with a military obligation that is going to keep me from getting what I have wanted my whole life and it just isn’t fair.  Now, I find out that even my stinking brother is gone from Silvermoon and I was going to ask him to buy me out of the Rangers so that I don’t have to stay here anymore.

Of course, everyone in Halfhill is talking about the people leaving and the ones that are staying behind.  One person I’m seeing staying behind with their brat is Dawnglory’s woman.  She looks like she’s getting fat from sitting on her butt at the farm, wonder who’s doing all of the work now that he’s gone?  I was going to try to make friends with her just so I could find out when Dawnglory’s going to be back, however, I can’t even stomach that thought right now.

All of my plans are down the drain and I’m stuck up here with all of these drunk bears, the Rangers and whatever else the military might decide for me to do.  I tried to talk to my sister at Winter Veil when we were in Shattrath and she told me to shut up and that I only had gotten what I deserved for being deceitful and selfish.  Who the heck does she think she is?    I know her husband or whatever he is overheard it all and he just walked away as if there was nothing going on.   She has no right to say anything about what I’ve done, it’s her fault that our parents are dead because she ran off to be with that guy and they got killed looking for her.  Maybe I should bring that up sometime?

I’ve sent a letter to that Zippie and I hope that she will forward it on to Fnor so that he can make arrangements to buy me out of the service.  I don’t like it and I was only playing along with it because it would get me closer to Dawnglory and if he’s gone from Pandaria, what is to keep me here in the service, not a damned thing. I hope he still isn’t angry with me.

I had planned on talking with my brother at Winter Veil when I was in Nagrand, however, he wasn’t there and it’s doubtful that his wife would want to help me out.  I didn’t even try to ask her about it and with the way that Felaran reacted, I was almost afraid too.  I don’t think that all of the things that I have done should be held against me.  I had my reasons and now that reason has moved again, damn him.

I know I probably can’t start over in Silvermoon again, I’ve burned too many bridges there with some of the so-called friends that I had, however, they have always liked my money, so, maybe there is a chance that I can start over again.  I don’t know, I’m so confused right now. Now, I just have to find some new direction.

Should I put Dawnglory behind me and think about getting involved with someone else?  I can’t, he has been the main focus of my life for so long that I think that I would be lost without that.  Everything that I have ever done or planned for has been with him in mind.  Even if Felaran said that I selfish, she also said that I was obsessed with a man that could care less about what happens to me.   I think that she’s wrong, I think that he does care about me and that my brother won’t allow him to have anything to do with me, It’s his fault, not mine.   He’s only with this woman now because of his daughter and I bet that if I could get him alone, I’d be able to give him a son one day, which is more important to carry on his name.   I still want to make that happen and it will happen if I just keep trying, now, I can’t even try because he’s in that other place.

 

Faendra Morningstar

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s