What the Hell is going on with the people back in Orgrimmar. They ship our asses to Draenor and we’re supposed to stay here for the duration without any thought to our homes and families back on Azeroth? Not gonna happen if you ask me because I don’t think that they thought this shit all the way through. I know that I can’t fucking be the only man out here in this hole that thinks this way – most of us have loved ones back in Azeroth that we worry about and that we want to see with some regularity.
I’ve requested a leave multiple times and all of them have been refused because “as a Commander” my presence is required here in Draenor. I call Bullshit on that one. My Garrison can run just fine without my being here all of the time, I’ve proven that a couple of times by taking off to do some exploring for a week or two and returned to my Garrison to find things running just as smoothly – the only thing that wasn’t done was the bloody paperwork, which I did in a day.
I know that I want to go back to Halfhill to see Romy and Mirrin – I miss my family. Not only do I miss my family I am missing the time that Romy is pregnant with our second child. I worry constantly about her and hope that she is having an easy time of it with this pregnancy. I know that she is safe in Halfhill and we have a lot of friends that are still there that can help her if she needs it, however, it’s not the same as my being there with her. I really want us to get married before the second baby arrives, we didn’t have time to do that before I had to leave for Draenor and that has me more than a little bit upset with the way that things were dealt with before I left.
It’s not that I can’t leave Draenor, it’s the fact that I don’t want to leave my command without following the proper protocols in order to do it. I wouldn’t want to leave without permission because then everything that I have worked for my entire adult life would be lost because I would be considered a deserter and that’s not something that I want to have to carry along in my life. I took an Oath to serve the Regent and also the Horde if he so ordered it – now, here I sit, hanging onto the fact that I am honor bound to keep my oath.
I know that Fnor has even tried to resign his position here in Draenor and his resignation was refused. I hope that he can keep going through his diplomatic channels and will finally get someone back in Orgrimmar to realize that the troops need to have the ability to take a leave so that they can be assured that their families are doing okay in their absence. I don’t know how he is handling this emotionally because not only does he have his family to worry about, he’s also trying to keep the company going for all of us involved. The man has always been workhorse when it comes to taking care of things, however, I always wonder if he will ever just reach a limit of what he thinks that he can do. I know that he is desperate to see Amyn and he has a double whammy there with her being a Sentinel – yeah, I know different factions and all that aside – they have been together for years and their sons are getting to the age to where they could be sent Draenor as well. I know that is one thing that has always amazed me about my best friend, he always seems to be cool, calm and collected even if he is in a total turmoil internally.
Of course, I still get letters from Romy and she tells me that everything is going well. It’s just not the same as seeing things with my own fucking eyes. Let’s not even mention the fact that I am so damned lonely here sometimes that I can barely stand it. Sure, I’m surrounded by people all of the time here in the Garrison, however, I need that special someone that I love more than life itself.
Yes, I’m a man, I have my own wants, needs and desires, however, I have been extremely careful with my desires because I have taken a vow in my own heart to Romy and I don’t want to break that vow in any way shape or form. I’ll admit that it is hard to walk away from some of these attractive offers sometimes but I always think of Romy and walk away – cold showers are becoming a mainstay in my life now. I won’t even go on to discuss the dreams that I have that have gotten even more heated in the last few weeks – it might be the change of seasons and it might also be the fact that I just want to get back home to my family too.