*Some coarse language used, please do not read if you’re easily offended. *
It’s been a while since I have written in my journal, however, I have been rather busy trying to keep up with my fucking duties and trying to find my wayward woman and my children. It’s not been easy and I have spent a hell of lot of time trying to figure out where she could have fucking disappeared too.
I think I’ve gone through spells of depression and then I got angry and back to the depression again. I have my own way of grieving and sometimes it works better than it has currently. Romy was such a large part of my life and the kids were everything I had ever hoped for – now, they are gone. I think the loneliness is the hardest part to handle and it will be with me until I can get some closure on this or at least fucking find them. I know that she was stubborn and was always good at taking care of herself, however, I never thought that she would just pack up and leave like she appears to have done. When I am not on duty, I’m trying to follow up on any clues that I might have uncovered and it has taken this long for me to sit here and just write.
I’ve talked to so many people in Pandaria and searched the place until I can hardly stand it – she and the children are not here and it does point more to her leaving and going to Northrend. Of course, tracking down the pack that she was always with before has been more of a challenge than anything else.
Let me explain this a little bit. Romy was with a group of family members that have chosen a different lifestyle and handle things more in the ways of wolves. They have the Alpha males and females and everyone raises the kids together. They tend to hunt in packs or something of that nature which has allowed them to survive in the northern part of Northrend. I had met them all before we were together and had talked to many of the leaders, bonding with them. Now, I can’t even seem to find all the old encampments. It’s almost as if they have disappeared.
Of course, there is another branch of the family that is more civilized that the Northrend group, although, that could be debatable. Naturally, the branch that lives in and around Silvermoon are more of the matriarchal society than anything else. It almost reminds me of how the Night Elves live most of the time than true Sindorei. I think that these traditions and habits that they appear to have are more based on High Born practices than most want others want to show. Makes me wonder about the family bloodlines a bit but that is beside the point. I just want to find Romy and my children and get them back home with me. Sometimes the loneliness is more than I can stand.
Romy had left some pictures behind when she left the farm in Half Hill and I have gathered them up and put them away so that nothing will happen to them and she can have them when she returns. Pictures of us being happy together and pictures of the children. Yes, I finally got to see what my boy looks like and I must say that he looks more like his Mother than he does me – the red hair and coloring. I bet he will grow up to be a very handsome young man. I hope that I can find them all before he is a man – just knowing that they are all out there somewhere makes my heart keep hope that we will be together again someday. I know that there are times that I have a terrible time holding back my tears and they are even streaming down my face as I write.
How could such happiness just disappear, how could the love we had seemed to have changed for some reason? I’m afraid that I have truly brutalized Faendra with my suspicions that she might have had something to do with their disappearance to the point that she wrote to her brother and begged him to tell me that she had nothing to do with them being gone. Yes, she did say that she still loved me, however, she would never do anything to Romy or the babies – they were mine and she knew how much I loved them.
Ah well, I suppose that I should quit writing tonight and head out to do some wandering around and visiting with some of the neighbors here in Half Hill. I know that the women always ask if I had found Romy yet, which tears the wound open a bit.