I thought for a time that my heart would break with all the things that I have seen and done since this new conflict has erupted across our lands of Azeroth. My heart grows weary, not only with age, but with the vehemence that this new calamity has visited upon our World. Who knew that something of this nature could ever happen to us all? Who knew or could glean from the Aspects that this would one day come to pass without warning?
So many questions have I asked and so many questions that are still unanswered. I can’t believe that none of the learned peoples of this world could allow this to happen. We were joined with a united front to defeat the demons on the Broken Shore and yet, we supposedly thwarted the attacks and came away victorious – only to have it all be struck down by one monstrous blow to our world.
Now it has all dwindled back down to nothing more than avarice and greed for a power that is totally limitless in its destruction of our lives as we know it. Yes, I have seen enough of wars and battles to last me through several lifetimes and it seems to be a never-ending cycle of hatred that has no true balance to end it all.
I look back on my own life and see that it has been one struggle after another that has left me feeling cynical and filled with guilt at the things that I had no control over. I’ve seen my youth destroyed quickly as we fought against the Alliance in Kalimdor to fulfill the needs of the Horde and I’ve lived through Warchief that have gone from strong leadership to out and out insanity. The current leadership brings nothing to the Horde as a whole, just death and destruction without a future thought to what is to become of us if this war cycle ever ends. Can no one see the rationale that this world is big enough for all it’s people, not just the Horde, not just the Alliance and why must there be an air of having complete control over the people that are striving to live their lives in some manner of normalcy.
I find myself waxing philosophically tonight as I sit here in my quarters, alone and feeling the weight of my age more than I normally would. Yes, I’m getting up there in age even for one of the long-lived races, however, I think my soul is just getting weary of the turmoil and the constant upheaval that we have been thrown into for all these centuries. I have been a soldier most of my life and have fought many battles and have led many men and women into battles against impossible odds and have brought the majority of them back from the brink of disaster, yet, I do begin to feel that it may have all been for naught when it is repeated over and over again.
All I ever have wanted is to find a place for my family where we could live in peace and not worry about the political strife that seems to permeate the very air that we breathe. Yes, my wife is not of an acceptable race by the current policies of the Horde, however, she is very acceptable in my heart as are our children that we have raised.
We knew things would be difficult for us all the days of our lives and for our children. We held out hope that things would change after thwarting the Legion. To say that we were wrong in our foolish ideals is s true misnomer because we felt that the people of Azeroth had finally seen the Light and had grown enough as a civilized group that we would finally glean the peace that we all desired.
Now, with our world wounded and the strong possibility that none of us will survive the calamity, we’re squabbling like children over things that surely will not matter. Wealth, greed, power, these are not the things that we were taught to worship as children – that is something that has taken a hold on all of us at some point. I wish there was some cleric that could explain this to me – our world as we know it may be dying and yet, there is this stupid struggle for power and control. Should we not be more concerned about curing the ailment of our world so that we can continue our lives with some reasonable harmony?
Oh my, I knew that imbibing in brandy when I was in one of my more depressed moods could prove to be a long-winded affair and I was correct in that assumption. Ah well, sometimes I can find solutions to things just by writing them down and hope for the best.
I know that there are times that I really need to muddle through my mind and writing in a journal is one way that I can do it without adding my problems to someone else’s plate. I know that there are healers and the like that would listen, however, I’m not sure if they could help me with some of the issues that I have to deal with.
At least I have been able to spend some time with my family in Nagrand and we’re all feeling a bit drained and bit undone with all the things that have gone, however, I do believe that we are going to survive it. If we keep our emotions in check and accept one another for whom we are – all will be okay within the family unit.